Boy do I love being autistic.
I wish I could give people the reactions they want.
I'm sorry I can't act for you.
I'm sorry you think that means I don't love you enough to try.
I wish I had black blood. It would make more sense to me. I want everything to be black inside, and to turn paper white when drained. That would be nice.
Art by me (Ibis Paint X), background from Scarbor Siu on Unsplash.
The pictures are showing up in my gallery, which I want, but the albums are gone, and when I try to put the pictures back in an album it ask "internal or sd" and I don't know what to put and it says I "already have a file by that name".
How can I transfer albums to my sd card without having the album dissappear? I don't wantvto wade through a bazillion pictures every time, that's why they were organized.
Edit: Figured it out but it's really dumb. My album shouldn't dissappear when I move it. Ugh. I have to transfer the pictures to an album set towards the sd card. Ir should just..do that when I move an album. Convoluted and pointless, but at least it works.
There's a yellow spot in the corner of my screen. Very small, not really a bother but worrying in general.
I can't afford to get a repair. I probably got it from dropping it, i'm very clumsy. Is it okay/safe to leave?????
Sorry if this isn't the correct flair or sub, phone stuff is hard to understand for me.
I'm so confused, i've never used an SD card before. TO SAVE SPACE. Why do I need to download another app to see my transfered pictures?? I'm so frustrated and confused. I can see pictures I immediately take from my camera but all other transferred photos get this. What is happening!?
I wanted a gender and flag that would fit me more personally so..here it is! It's a bit more specific to me especially the design but anyone can use it and make their own versions/flags if they so wish.
So this is twin/multi void, feeling as though ones gender relating to/as a void has/is multiple voids. This is a more material vision of my flag which relates more to me personally hence the gold and a mix of true void colours and nature void greens connecting me to world and my animalistic nature and love of the earth in connection to this body.
When thinking of myself I also have a copy of myself who is a void outline of myself (i'm he/him I call them they/them and "it" is fine too). I wouldn't be me without relating to them. I am part of the void and they are part of me. It's a bit hard to explain so I may revise this latter!n i'm not the best at laying things out but maybe someone can relate?????
Gonna be real the blank and beastly one look the best, I may also revise the humanoid and my personal design, but for now I was eager to get this out there.
I like it here but now apprently my posts are going to be removed by reddit filters all the sudden. I just want somewhere to post where I don't have to worry AS MUCH about a hate mob coming after me. I heard Tumblr but also people saying that's becoming more anti??? This is exhausting. Reddit is so unreliable despite how much I like it. Any ideas?????
Heres to hoping this doesn't get auto removed.
I literally can't post this ANYWHERE else out of fear of getting absolutely dogged on (and I don't want my family to think i'm more of a weirdo than they already do-) so...here we go, lmaooo.
I know people more often ship their persona with other characters (like I do) or do mirrorshipping characters with themselves (guilty as charged, Sanscest 4ever) but I like a little more SELF love personally. I like shipping myself with either a copy or other version of myself, like here my normal self with my agere self. I can't help it, it's so cute!💚
I'm new to this, I honestly never thought I would. I thought this wasn't "my thing", but I also thought that with otherkin and, well...look at me now, lmao. I am also a trans man but I left it out of the roster for my convenience.
I don't know how many i'll have in the future but for now this seems right!
I downloaded a notes app to do this because I have such a bad memory lmaooo
I definitely relate to the void, clearly, it is where I am from and to which I shall return one day.
Humangender is an interesting one, I know I am in a human body, which is distinctly mine, and my gender relates to humans and human concepts of gender which also connects to my other gender markers such as voidboy. It fits me so perfectly.
If I had to describe my existence, it would be like...imagine taking the outer skin of a person, meat jacket, and wrapping it around a part of the infinite void, and then zipping it up, awakening it from it's nonexistent slumber. That's how i'd describe how I feel. One minute I was part of the void, next thing I know i'm opening my eyes in a squishy body surrounded by squishy people.
I hope that makes sense? I have no idea haha! I was nervous to post this, idk I get kinda insecure about it which is unusual for me. When it comes to other things I have little shame, but I guess I feel like this would be "too much" for some people.
Here I am yapping on, my bad. I guess this kinda doubles as an introduction but I can't put multiple flairs. Name's Frederick which I prefer, but Fred is fine, and some call me Soy which I don't hate either.💚
I've had depression for around 13 years now. Starting at 12, i'm 25 now. It's bad enough being trans and autistic and even worse when no one cares about anything you do or go through. And now I know i'm otherkin and I sure as hell can't tell anyone THAT.
I only had my first ever therapist recently for like a month. She was perfect. And then ripped away because she was being transferred. Now i'm waiting until the 27th for this other therapist because it's so busy it's crazy. Now I have to build up trust again, who knows if I can even fully trust her in the end.
My one passion my entire life is art that I am struggling to even keep because no one even cares about it. I just feel like laying here and rotting away, that would he easier than doing anything else and no one would have any expectations of me. I'll probably never get my dream of having kids either, time is ticking away with nothing to show for it.
I miss when I was 14 and Amino was still around. Yeah there were toxic moments that weren't great for my mental health, but at least people gave a shit about my art. I actually felt proud. Something to keep going for, to wake up for. Now I just feel like giving up.
I don't know why they brought me into the world, honestly. I'm sorry I came with nothing more to give.
I just adopted this new oc and I love her! They're transfem enby and their name is Skullie/Skelle! (I honestly liked both so either one is fine, I will be using them interchangeably, lmao-) Ahhhh I love her smmmmm!!!!!💜
Credit to u/Guilty_Average3793 for the adopt, art by me!💜
TW specifics: for death, od, mention of religious psychosis, and talk of SA.
Like, a lot of things happened to me, but it's like a sample table: They were a lot of things but "small" things in comparison to everyone else. Neglect but not enough to truly complain, I got yelled at a lot in my youth but I wasn't hit so I was "lucky", I got kidnapped by my bio father for a month where he gave me a fake phone number to make me think my mom was ignoring me and abandoned me, i've also lived in roach filth most of my life.
I experienced some inappropriate unconsensual things as a kid but not enough for anyone to take it seriously or call it "SA". My mom told it to some people living with us without permission and that really upset me. They used it as ammo against the person who did it. I hated being used as ammo.
I was bullied but not enough to be seen as serious, not like the teachers believed me anyways, I was always taller so they hated me and thought I was the antagonizer. I graduated highschool but don't even bother to pick up that stupid diploma, i'm trans and autistic too so it just makes everything worse.
I just found out a few days ago my grandma died from an overdose (accidental or not we don't know) in 2012, 5 days away from my birthday. I remember that night vividly. I was 10 going to turn 11. But I actually didn't remember being 10 going on 11, I didn't even remember it happening that close to my birthday. I didn't cry. Idk why, when it happened, I saw it when it happened. It was terrible. But for some reason I just didn't cry at the time. My mom decided since I seemed unaffected i'd go to school the next day. I tried to force myself to cry on the bus, but I couldn't.
Later on my mom ended up lashing out and calling me a sociopath. Much later on she apologized, but it still hurt after she said that. Before the apology I had a dream where my grandma looked so disappointed in me and turned away when I reached out for her, and I never dreamed of her again after that.
By 12 is when I felt clearly my depression start, and it just got worse as years go on. I'm 25 this year, and still living with my transphobic mom, feeling dead inside. She wasn't always transphobic but about 4 to 5 years ago she suddenly fell deep into religion and is going through ongoing religious psychosis (not armchair diagnosing her, she genuinely thinks she's being attacked by demons and people are out to get her, there is no other way to describe this) and is now homophobic and transphobic and thinks i'm going to Hell.
Comparatively I didn't have it as bad as others, but I feel..sad and tired, and like I just want everything to stop and end. On top of me wishing I could have kids but people saying your life and fertility basically declines at 30 leaves me just so hopeless of even wanting better. I feel ruined. No friends, no love life, nothing but myself and my shitty art I barely can manage to finish anymore. Does it ever stop? After I found that death date I just couldn't believe I was that age when it happened, and I guess everything just came to the surface at once.
I could never remember the ages things happened in my life, I think seeing that put it all into perspective, especially with my depression really starting at 12. That being one of the things I remember while everything else muddles together.
It's sad. I want to love myself and love what I can create, and I do but, why is like people pretend to love me, but don't actually love me for me?
Oh ho, you didn't think from my OC I could only do Animal Hospital style only did you????? I will be uploading a pic of Barney in AHA style soon, but enjoy my style of this beefy boy first.💚 (I'm doing this for fun so lazy backgrounds ahhhh, I could never do backgrounds-)
I just found some gay cis men who told me that you "can't be gay with trans men, you're either bi or pan" and it pisses me off so bad.
They genuinely think attraction should be based on genitals alone, nothing else, and that's so weird!
They say they're not transphobic but then will literally sit there calling you a "biological woman". And then they have the nerve to say "trans men are a type of men, but not biological ones"??????? But being gay is simply being attracted to men, so why are we shoehorning biology in there?????
I don't think it's that farfetched to say if a guy likes screwing a hairy, beefy, masculine men regardless of genitals, that's pretty gay.
Like is genitals really the only hurdle that matters????? They seriously think someone screwing someone who looks like Kratos is STRAIGHT just because he has different genitals????? Like come ON!!!
My OC Midas, an eyelash viper and hognose mix!
Not only was my OC gonna be a reptile anyway, but I am sad at the lack of reptiles in Animal Hospital! They'd be so cool!
I also am making a new fan class (get added pls get added pls get added-) for Toxicology and Anesthesiology! I put them together because people can work as both, but separate classes work too. (Dual classes would go crazy though-)
I didn't want to muddy up his beauty with text too bad, so i'll shove all the details in this post:
With my OC, there would be a new toxicology lab where you'd be able to take various new (and old) ingredients, including slime, to make all sorts of different poisons and medicines!
He spawns with golden knuckle dusters. He gains 15 sanity by fighting off an anomaly, and they can be loaded with toxins to more easily fight them off. (DIfferent toxins and different effects) They can also be loaded with needed medication for faster injection. (Other workers would have average injection speed and would have to use separate needles.)
Lvl 1: Spawn with knuckle dusters. 15 sanity for a successful fight.
Pride before the fall: Cannot use taser or pistol. Doesn't like coffee, it can only be consumed (one full cup) every 5 minutes. No chocolate!
Lvl 2: Itching for a fight: Can sense one guaranteed anomaly every 10 minutes. Attempts won't be used until an anomaly is present.
Lvl 3: Decaff professional: No more coffee, but sanity from brawls is doubled to 30! Gain access to toxicology early on shift 4. (I'd say toxicology would open for base Midus and everyone else around shift 10) Anomaly sense lowered to 5 minutes.
This is a bit messy, but I just wanted to get my ideas out there. I'll clean em up and revise them in the future, but i'm too excited to wait, i'm excited to show him off!!!!💚
So I joined this subreddit recently that's for trans people called countttt and it seems very..transmedicalist. At least the users are. Has anyone else experienced that there? Is that just..a thing???? I'm probably gonna block it for my mental heath, but what was said really hurt me. The aub itself has a rule that says "no transphobia" so what gives?????
I know antis can be found EVERYWHERE, I have come across plenty of antis in the wild, but this is the wildest!
I was watching a compilation on WPD (watchpeopledie) of pedos getting the ol seeping with the fishes treatment and I go into the comments to find...this...this absolute gem.
I think that "hypocrite" was the clearest projection I have ever seen. I will never understand these people's care for what others watch and "drawned" children. Like brother, what are you fighting for!?
Also, the obvious hilarity at the fact that someone on WPD is tryjng to play the morality police for DRAWINGS!!!!! What is life, bro!?😭