u/y-r-u-scared

Scrolling in ANY direction is endless

But you scroll up instead of down.

I let 5-6 mosquitos drink my blood last night. Add that to the one I let drink my blood a week prior and that's 6-7 mosquito vampire moms out in the wild YOU'VE BEEN WARNED 🧃🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟🦟

Hi. I'm schizoaffective and a member of the community.
I'm seeking a support group. Something like AA, but for schizoaffective.
Are there any groups in the area?

Thank you! <3

Like a corpse. Like a wound.

It's not sadness. It's not really depression either. I just feel empty inside. Numb. Hollow.

I haven't been able to look anyone in the eyes today. The few faces I've seen have been friendly enough, but my eyes fall like stones. I feel so heavy. I feel so brittle.

My mind tells me I'm undead. No necromatic powers, no paranormal insight, just a dead girl walking.

The solace my mind tells me I'll find, is that everyone else is dead too. This doesn't make me feel any better though. All I feel is absence.

I walked to the park today. I thought some sun would help. It didn't hurt, but it didn't help. I feel the same.

At the time I'm writing this it's 3:33pm. I'm sick of seeing repeating numbers. I'm so tired of patterns. I'm exhausted. A part of me wishes I was blind.

I'm home now. My wife will be home in 4 hours. I might take a nap. The dog needs to pee. I should eat.

Love you, whoever you are who's read this far. Take care. 🫀

Hello!

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I'm considering making a feeder terarrium. I don't have a hungry critter, but I've been seriously considering integrating insects into my diet.

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Questions:

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- How would I best ensure the enclosure is secure? I can't risk breakouts for my wife's sake.

- I'm considering grasshoppers or hissing cockroaches. Are these worthwhile? Or should I consider some sort of superworm?

- How do I ensure my critters have good lives? I'd like them to be well taken care for, even if I'm planning on cooking them.

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I recognize this is a bit ridiculous of an ask, but I'm asking sincerely. Any resources would be appreciated. Love y'all! 🪲 🫀🪲

My intrusive belief is that my parents are vampires, that we're dead folk walking, and that I'm a cannibal.

I don't know where this stems from, but it can be a bother. I've been stable on my antipsychotic dose for 4 years, but I remember when I was unmedicated. Spaghetti would look and feel like >!intestines!<.

I'm physically stable and well, but as of late my cannibal ruminations have been firing on repeat. It's like a gnawing gut feeling. I don't know.

I feel hungry. I always feel hungry. I don't know why I feel so hungry. I don't even know what I'm hungry for.

I'll leave it there. Thank you for holding this place to share-confess. Bless y'all 🫀

My wife is writing name change papers for her to take my last name as I write this. She loves me and has shown me nothing but care, but I don't feel welcome here.

I used to live alone. I didn't feel welcome there. I didn't feel welcome staying with roommates. I don't feel welcome anywhere.

It isn't that people are unkind. People tend to be nice to me. I'm considerate, relatively charasmatic, and I make an effort to be caring in my actions. People tend to respond in kind.

In reality, I know I'm loved.

But the feeling persists. I don't feel like I belong wherever I am. I can be at a library, a cafe, a walk, or in bed.

The only exception is the exact moment someone indirectly tells me I belong. As soon as the moment passes, I return to baseline. I feel out of place.

I feel confused. If I feel lumpy and misaligned wherever I go, I don't really know where to go. I know I want to be with my wife, but that's about all I know.

I don't feel like this post belongs here, but I guess that's to be expected. I don't know if this is caused by my schizoaffective or another condition. Everything kinda blurs together. Hard to trace patterns. Feedback loop. I don't know.

I'll press post before my mind's eye takes this dialogue into another conscious pattern thoughtstream milk. Thank you all. Much love. 🫀

I got married a week ago! I'm a 28 yo mtf woman now married to 35 yo mtf woman!

Wife and wife! 👰🏻👰🏼‍♀️

Both my mom and her mom were there along with family. It was a really blessed day. I feel so grateful to know her. Sappy sappy sap sap.

Yay! 🫀