u/1mpavidus

TW for some strong descriptions of suicidal ideation ahead.

Autistic person with PMDD here. I'm 32. 8 weeks ago my doctor started me on tirzepatide for PMDD. It was slow going, but I do feel like it's starting to help. This last cycle/most of the one before it has felt like mostly what I assume normal PMS is, with just some minor fatigue and crankiness.

The problem is there's still 3-4 days where I completely lose my mind scattered through my luteal phase. It seems to be the first day, 1-2 random middle days, and around the last day. Granted, this is far preferable to losing my mind for 10 days straight like I was doing before, but these bad days are still really bad. Like, "uncontrollable urge to kill myself by smashing my head into a brick wall repeatedly" kind of bad.

I'm just wondering how do you guys deal with the really bad days? Right now I'm struggling so much because I'm spiraling tremendously but it's late and everyone in the house is asleep. I don't have anyone I can go to and I can't do anything to try to soothe myself without making noise and waking someone. It's looking likely I'll be awake all night doomscrolling and sobbing .

What helps you guys through times like this?

I feel like most VTM players I've known tend to stick close to stereotypes. Tell me about your against the grain characters! In my current campaign we have a Tzimisce who is very softhearted and a bit squeamish about killing and violence.

Like buddy, read the room!! We're dealing with a lot as a city right now, maybe just read the news + check the information being posted online about the situation and don't come into the forum of the community currently undergoing a crisis to ask us if YOUR travel plans are going to be affected.

Today on the PMDD partners sub I noticed the main mod there made a post lying about me and speculating on my menstrual cycle because I made a post he didn't like nearly 8 months ago. I reported it to reddit and they're doing nothing. Why is this allowed to continue?

That's all. I am so exhausted. Feeling like nothing in my life will ever be good again

My doctor prescribed me tirzepatide to manage my horrific pmdd and I'm about to take my 3rd dose. Luteal started yesterday. I am absolutely at the end of my rope. I can think about literally nothing other than ending it all. Last month was bad as well and I went to the doctor asking if there was anything that could be done to help me in the meantime because suicide is starting to feel like a very real possibility. She told me I just need to wait another 3 months for the tirzepatide to start working.

Antidepressants have not helped (lexapro, Prozac, zoloft, c​​​elexa, welbutrin) birth control has not helped (unsure which but I've tried at least 3) pepcid does not help. No matter how well I eat, how much I sleep, how healthy I try to be, absolutely nothing has made even a mild dent. In fact it keeps getting worse every month. Today I seriously considered just slitting my wrists and being done with it. I cannot take this anymore. I'm trying to hold on because I don't want to hurt my family, but I also can't help but feel like my fiancé would be better off without someone as burdensome and unstable as I am.

This feels like the end. I truly don't know what else to do at this point, and i definitely can't wait another several months for only a mild hope that tirzepatide might work. I can't take this anymore, the pain is so utterly overwhelming and i just want it to stop somehow. If there's anything else that might help I'm open to hearing it but my doctor said there wasn't and I've utterly lost all hope. I can't do this anymore. ​

Looking for LARP or tabletop. Hit me up if you're running a game!

One of my biggest pet peeves about VTM is that so many STs and players treat in-character mistakes (Masquerade violations, social faux pas, etc) as personal failures of the player, rather than interesting avenues for narrative. I see such a slavish devotion to the rules of the system that often comes at the cost of telling a good story.

I see posts on here every single day asking "can I do (x)?" Buddy, as long as your ST and fellow players are cool with it, you can do whatever you want forever.

Idk. It just makes me sad because I'm in an absolutely incredible game right now where we've done a fair amount of homebrew, had so many in-character disasters... and it's an absolute blast. I've played VTM for 13 years, and I've never had so much fun. I don't understand why the culture around the game is so rigid - i want interesting stories, not just playing out the same mechanics over and over.