u/Academic-Park-8440

I (28F. 118kg pre pregnancy. 128kg by the end) had my baby boy on friday via c-section. I haven’t been able to hold him yet.

I always wanted to do a vaginal birth, but was open to a c-section if needed. On thursday I had a 38 week appointment with my Dr and told him I was worried about preeclampsia signs because I was getting swollen, increased BP, all the things.

He said let’s have a c-section tomorrow to avoid any last minute emergencies with BP. On friday I was 38w2d.

I’m very scared about surgery (my dad died in the operating room). And I told them to please sedate me because I was so stressed out about having a surgery.(and pretty unplanned, I had less than 12 hours to actually prepare for it)

Just to be clear I asked because I had my boobs done a while ago and I was sedated through it with local anestesia and it was the best thing ever.

The anesthesiologist refused. (spoiler: guess who has to get sedated at the end?????)

Anyway, the first anesthesia they put on your back was awful. I was really scared. It was really hard. Then the C-section started and I couldn’t handle feeling everything. I was so scared and it only stressed me out more and my BP was rising. I don’t remember much

It was time for my husband to come in and they told him how hard time I was having and about sedating me, he said give her everything she needs.

The anesthesiologist tells me they are going to help me go to sleep, and I fell sleep. Then I wake up hearing my baby boy cry.

I go to recovery. Every thing seems to be better. The Dr. says I couldn’t have given birth anyway because the cord was too short, and my baby was almost 9 pounds.

Fast forward to Saturday, I get discharged and they still don’t give me my baby. Apparently he has something called pulmonary hypertension and it’s in the nursery with oxygen until Tuesday.

Now Drs say that my weight is a factor. As it’s my fault. But I’ve been reading and csections, high bp while delivering and all the things also seem to be a factor, isn’t it?

I’m so scared and sad that I had such a bad experience. I was open to a c-section, but I wanted it to be good and peaceful and have my baby with me.

This is so hard.

My baby was born yesterday via a c-section. boy, 38w, 3.94kg 55cm.

First he had a Transient Tachypnea of the Newborn, which seems to have resolved by this morning. They were gonna get him to my room this morning and he never came.

The pediatrician went up this morning and told me that when they took him out of the incubator, his hands and feet turned purple, so they put him back in.

They did an X-ray and the pediatrician saw that his heart is enlarged (cardiomegaly).

The cardiologist is coming in two hours to do an echo, but I'm really nervous. I need someone to explain this to me and tell me something, because the doctors here aren't telling me anything.

I’ve been with him a long while and he’s eating breathing crying. other than being in an incubator with extra oxygen he seems okay.

Can you please explain what this means or what can I expect?

Just for context in my country doctors will always schedule a c-section first. i’m fighting my way into them letting me have a natural birth.

i changed doctors late july because my husband made a question about labor and he said “do you think she will handle giving birth?” in a sarcastic note.

I know he said that because it’s better for him to do csections so they won’t do natural births. So that was the last time I went and found an OBGYN that was at least open to the idea.

But today I was talking to me grandmother and she made the exact same comment

“i don’t think you’ll be able to handle a natural birth”

how is it so hard???? i mean not to take away from it, but isn’t our bodies built for this? and don’t we spend 9 months preferring for it? isn’t it the default in the US why would it be so different for me? why wouldn’t I be able to “handle it”???

I’m 34w. I know it won’t harm the baby and all the things but can it induce labor??? I got freaked out by thinking it can induce labor at 34 week and my baby it’s not ready yet!!!😂😂

(i’m baby. i’m not ready yet)

Hi!! I’m 33 weeks today. I was 260lbs pre pregnancy and 280 today.

I’m reading all the things on breastfeeding, and I’m wondering if there’s tips or experience someone can share with me about being plus size and losing weight while breastfeeding.

Clearly I’m overweight and need to do something about it. I have two EBF moms near me (normal weight) who really lost weight, but I’ve also read here about people that gain weight instead.

Most of my weight pre pregnancy even has been in my hips and legs (which according to research is the “reserve” place where body takes fat out to produce milk)

So it’s there a way I can use this time and production to actually lose weight? Do you have anything that worked for you?

I know this is not *time* to worry about weight, and I’m not planning about dieting or anything like that. But with my lifestyle and the way I eat there’s always room for improvement and I do have a lot of support, so any information will help.

Hi!! I’m 33 weeks today. I was 260lbs pre pregnancy and 280 today.

I’m reading all the things on breastfeeding, and I’m wondering if there’s tips or experience someone can share with me about being plus size and losing weight while breastfeeding.

Clearly I’m overweight and need to do something about it. I have two EBF moms near me (normal weight) who really lost weight, but I’ve also read here about people that gain weight instead.

Most of my weight pre pregnancy even has been in my hips and legs (which according to research is the “reserve” place where body takes fat out to produce milk)

So it’s there a way I can use this time and production to actually lose weight? Do you have anything that worked for you?

I know this is not time to worry about weight, and I’m not planning about dieting or anything like that. But with my lifestyle and the way I eat there’s always room for improvement and I do have a lot of support, so any information will help.

honestly it feels i’ve tried everything and I can stop. I’ve tried taping them, therapy, that stinky nail polish, putting gel x on, you name it.

How can someone stop?

Soooo i’m fighting my mom for some baby shower organization - basically she wants to make something pretty for me but does not want to pay for it, and what she wants to do is out of budget for me.

So after that fight I kind of checked out because I don’t have it in me to worry about a party when I have soooo much to do before baby gets here.

and that’s when i got it: This is why pregnant moms are not supposed to run their baby showers

Who has time for that???🥲🥲I’d love to organice mine. I usually love to throw themed parties (i even threw myself one when I got laid off lol) but I just don’t have it in my to do everything that needs to get done AND plan a party.

Week 30. What’s up with all the sweating???? Is it because i’m fat or just pregnancy symptom?

hii! having my baby shower in sept 5th. I’ll be 33w. I’m looking for plus size friendly recs for what to wear🤍

i was 118kg pre pregnancy, 127kg at 29 weeks. 1.63cm. Most of my weight I’ll say it’s in my hips

I passed. I don’t have diabetes. and I’m SOBBING.

I spent so much time without even TTC because all doctors told me how I was gonna get all the complications of pregnancy due to my weight.

Gestional diabetes among them.

I was soooo ready for it to be positive because that’s what you have to expect when you are fat, right? Almost what you deserve because you decided to be fat.

Now I can’t stop crying because it turns out i’m out of complications.

Actually I started crying last week when Alex Cooper said she had it because I was like ok what can i expect, or if she has it looking like that it’s not really about weight.

But now knowing that I’m out of the diabetes woods i’m just 😭😭😭i can’t stop crying let’s blame the hormones

(do have an awful lower back pain tho😂)

Why is it that everyone neeeds to tell me the zodiac sign of my baby when they ask the due date.

are they asking the due date only so they can assign a zodiac sign to him???

It seems they are not able to ask the due date without talking about how Libra is his zodiac sign and that means my baby it’s gonna be whatever personality traits they think goes with it?????

It’s a dumb thing to be annoyed at. But god damn am i annoyed at that.

i might overthink this one because i feel everything it’s gonna be small for me. Where i live we don’t have a ton of options (and all the ones ive seen are too small), so I can’t go to test them.

My best option to get one is to buy in the US and ship to my country. But which one??? There are so many

I’ll just start saying that I loved my OB because he was very calming around me being oversized. I spent 5 years wanting to get pregnant, but my previous gyn basically said I would get every complication in the world due to me being overweight.

Then I met this guy who was wonderful with weight and let me know I won’t be the first and only overweight pregnant person and did a great job explaining how we could tackle any potential issues that a regular-weight person can also get. However his specialty is fertility, not labor/birth.

also, for context, in the country where I live apparently is a thing where EVERY DOCTOR advocates and does a c-section first. From all of my pregnant friends, I only have 1 friend who did natural birth and it was for religious reasons.

In my last appointment, I was with my regular OB and he made a comment along the lines of “do you think she can handle labor?”. Which, at the moment, I took as hell no I know I can’t.

But after leaving the more I thought about it I kept thinking: Why I can’t? Then I realized that if I wanted to advocate for myself, I couldn’t put myself into such a vulnerable spot with someone who would made me feel like I can’t handle it. And then what happens if something goes wrong and I end up needing a c-section? Would they make me feel like it’s my fault because they told me so?

So anyway, I decided to change OBs to one that is
more open to labor.

Any advice, recommendations, things I should talk about when having my first appointment with this new guy? Also wanted to ask what type of tests/check ins have you had, just to make sure I’m not missing anything?

edit: i’ve also thought: I’ve had such an easy and boring pregnancy, that my body must know what to do during labor and prepare for it even if my brain doesn’t, right?

I’ll just start saying that I loved my OB because he was very calming around me being oversized. I spent 5 years wanting to get pregnant, but my previous gyn basically said I would get every complication in the world due to me being overweight.

Then I met this guy who was wonderful with weight and let me know I won’t be the first and only overweight pregnant person and did a great job explaining how we could tackle any potential issues that a regular-weight person can also get. However his specialty is fertility, not labor/birth.

also, for context, in the country where I live apparently is a thing where EVERY DOCTOR advocates and does a c-section first. From all of my pregnant friends, I only have 1 friend who did natural birth and it was for religious reasons.

In my last appointment, I was with my regular OB and he made a comment along the lines of “do you think she can handle labor?”. Which, at the moment, I took as hell no I know I can’t.

But after leaving the more I thought about it I kept thinking: Why I can’t? Then I realized that if I wanted to advocate for myself, I couldn’t put myself into such a vulnerable spot with someone who would made me feel like I can’t handle it. And then what happens if something goes wrong and I end up needing a c-section? Would they make me feel like it’s my fault because they told me so?

So anyway, I decided to change OBs to one that is
more open to labor.

Any advice, recommendations, things I should talk about when having my first appointment with this new guy? Also wanted to ask what type of tests/check ins have you had, just to make sure I’m not missing anything?

edit: i’ve also thought: I’ve had such an easy and boring pregnancy, that my body must know what to do during labor and prepare for it even if my brain doesn’t, right?

Why? The baby sleeps with you for the first 6 months at least, right? I feel everyone is pressuring me to get the perfect nursery done with the wallpaper, wall decor and all the things. But why? Do you really need it?

I just want to tell someone about this.

My ex died in Sept 2024. We were never really out of each other’s lives. I dreamt with him a couple of times after he died. I know those times were about him communicating feelings and saying goodbye.

Fast forward to yesterday, July 2026. I had the weirdest dream. It wasn’t necessarily with him but I felt him there as if he were talking to me?

First, in my living room there was a woman whom I’ve never seen before, and she says to me “there’s someone behind you”. I knew that I was alone in my house, so I got scared and ran through the door to a park nearby. There was a lot of people, and I had a notebook with me.

Then his mom starts talking. She says a bunch of things, not to me necessarily but to all the people who was there (I didn’t see their faces). I remember 3 things she said:

How they used to do a yearly family trip to the beach and then stopped when he died, but they were going to do it this year again.

Something about cats. And how my ex had a saying that everything can be solved with a black cat.

Then she was asking us to read to his son, because if we read to him he could still feel connected.

Throughout this whole thing I was taking notes, and when she said that last part I made a note of reading Narnia books, and their spot in my house became really clear in my mind. I actually started reading them because the ones I have he gifted them to me.

Then she left, and I start crying. And I kind of feel him talking to me? But I don’t remember that so much.

Weird dream. Can I talk about it with someone? Can’t really talk about this with anyone from real life.

I just want to tell someone about this.

My ex died in Sept 2024. We were never really out of each other’s lives. I dreamt with him a couple of times after he died. I know those times were about him communicating feelings and saying goodbye.

Fast forward to yesterday, July 2026. I had the weirdest dream. It wasn’t necessarily with him but I felt him there as if he were talking to me?

First, in my living room there was a woman whom I’ve never seen before, and she says to me “there’s someone behind you”. I knew that I was alone in my house, so I got scared and ran through the door to a park nearby. There was a lot of people, and I had a notebook with me.

Then his mom starts talking. She says a bunch of things, not to me necessarily but to all the people who was there (I didn’t see their faces). I remember 3 things she said:

How they used to do a yearly family trip to the beach and then stopped when he died, but they were going to do it this year again.

Something about cats. And how my ex had a saying that everything can be solved with a black cat.

Then she was asking us to read to his son, because if we read to him he could still feel connected.

Throughout this whole thing I was taking notes, and when she said that last part I made a note of reading Narnia books, and their spot in my house became really clear in my mind. I actually started reading them because the ones I have he gifted them to me.

Then she left, and I start crying. And I kind of feel him talking to me? But I don’t remember that so much.

Weird dream. Can I talk about it with someone? Can’t really talk about this with anyone from real life.

I just want to tell someone about this.

My ex died in Sept 2024. We were never really out of each other’s lives. I dreamt with him a couple of times after he died. I know those times were about him communicating feelings and saying goodbye.

Fast forward to yesterday, July 2026. I had the weirdest dream. It wasn’t necessarily with him but I felt him there as if he were talking to me?

First, in my living room there was a woman whom I’ve never seen before, and she says to me “there’s someone behind you”. I knew that I was alone in my house, so I got scared and ran through the door to a park nearby. There was a lot of people, and I had a notebook with me.

Then his mom starts talking. She says a bunch of things, not to me necessarily but to all the people who was there (I didn’t see their faces). I remember 3 things she said:

How they used to do a yearly family trip to the beach and then stopped when he died, but they were going to do it this year again.

Something about cats. And how my ex had a saying that everything can be solved with a black cat.

Then she was asking us to read to his son, because if we read to him he could still feel connected.

Throughout this whole thing I was taking notes, and when she said that last part I made a note of reading Narnia books, and their spot in my house became really clear in my mind. I actually started reading them because the ones I have he gifted them to me.

Then she left, and I start crying. And I kind of feel him talking to me? But I don’t remember that so much.

Weird dream. Can I talk about it with someone? Can’t really talk about this with anyone from real life.