Went through my 11 y.o.’s phone this morning - how to proceed?
My son just turned 11. He has this app, Polybuzz or Polychat I think it’s called where there has been sexual/inappropriate AI storyline chats. Not only that, he is chatting as if he is a “gay femboy” - I think this was in the clipboard of his texts a prompt he uses to start the conversations. I also saw a text message where he said he was pansexual. I was working so I didn’t do a lot of digging because there is a LOT to unpack here. This is the 2nd time I’ve seen the polychat thing and I told my son that school will be starting soon and there’s some concerning apps I’ve been told about by other parents so we’d start doing phone check soon. I was trying to be subtle. But he didn’t get rid of the app and is still engaging in inappropriate discussions via text. Idk who he is texting! It appears to be another kid from Roblox. The messages I’ve seen my son is the one instigating the inappropriate behavior.
- What do I do?
- He does not appear this way outwards to us at all, but not like super boy-ish to compensate. He’s a gamer. And I think that’s where he gets exposed to this thinking.
- I think he’s too young to fully believe that he thinks of himself as a “gay femboy” - as in he’s too young to maybe know? But either way I mean we are accepting of others lifestyles etc. however I wouldn’t encourage it especially at this age, but I’m also afraid to explicitly discourage it.
- If I make him delete the AI and have a real talk with him about engaging in and understanding the “chats” he is having, would that be like maybe worse or maybe he would turn to Reddit discord etc to engage in this behavior?
Update:
I posted this in hopes that some other parent has experienced the something similar when MONITORING their children’s online devices, but it appears I am the only parent who failed to ensure my children’s online devices is never exposed to any sexual or inappropriate content online. Glad that you all are successful parents.
For those telling me to guide him or detox him from the internet, that is what I’m looking for advice on how to do. As it was said in one comment, our generation should know the internet is not safe. No shit. That’s why I MONITOR the phone. I know wtf I was doing at his age and probably younger online, nobody had discussions with me about internet safety, consent, etc.
Oh and for those telling me to parent my child, get my house in order: I wasn’t raised right. I wasn’t parented. My parents were addicts. I’m learning as I go while also working 2 jobs to support us. But I know I f’d up. However, I came here for support but clearly this is not the place for that, so it looks like this will have to be a YouTube lesson/therapy session. I was just hoping I’d connect with some parents who have gone through a difficult situation like this. Happy to hear none of you ever will!