u/Amodernhousehusband

I’m so curious to hear from those who did manage to beat it.

What have you noticed? How have you sustained it? Do you still get instances of FOMO?

My husband never gets it but like, legitimately it takes forever to clean up dinner! I cook nearly every meal at home and they are somewhat involved because I mostly enjoy it.

But dang. Eat it for 20 mins. Clean for an hour.

I also clean as I go but still can’t manage to make it more efficient.

Help!

Edit: to be fair, I’m an experienced baker/cook and do rather complex meals and dishes. Most of my kitchen things can’t be just thrown in the dishwasher (cast iron, etc). Plus I’m on septic, so I have to really scrub those plates and grease and can’t just pitch it unwashed in the dishwasher. This might be my killer.

I’ll try to make this relatively short. We’ve been together for over a decade if that matters.

I love to host. I love to go out.

But when we do these things, my partner is so concerned about other people that he starts like - idk patronizing me?

For instance, we went with friends today to their campground and I took a shower. When I came back out they were grilling and eating dinner, there were no seats around the table open which I was totally fine with, and my husband was like “um you can’t sit at the table, that’s for John (our host). Which like, I think he was trying to be funny but he KEPT bringing it up. “Can you all believe he was going to sit there?”

Like, um no, I was getting the pulled pork and other food STANDING up to get it off the middle of the table. But he KEPT bringing it up, for what? Something I didn’t do?

Idk. I was tired and hot and maybe being a bitch? But this is a running theme.

When we’re out and I need something, he will immediately be like okay the minute someone else needs something. But the minute I need water or an Advil, he’s like whatever. Which is fine, I want my friends and company taken care of, but like, should my man be doing that? I don’t think it’s very attractive personally and honestly today I just had to completely block it out.

We went and visited his brother. We went to the beach. Everyone took showers after. I had to pee so fucking badly and my stomach hurt, I waited my turn. Everyone had showers in their room BUT us. When I walked in, “you need to be fast so my brother can shower. This is his house and he hasn’t even gotten a shower.” And he said it like a parent.

Like okay? I waited. I just fucking walked in. Am I a bitch?!

UPDATE: I texted my friend about this and she said “you know, I know what you’re talking about because I’ve seen him do it.”

I see this sentiment a lot on here “boomers had all this shit and useless China” but I have one set of beautiful china that I use and adore. I will use it until it breaks down thus preventing me buying plastic plates and the like. I’ve never understood my friends who keep buying plastic stuff, watching it breakdown, and repeat. I’ve never done that because this China is so well, solid.

I’ve noticed people sometimes almost get a nasty attitude about people who DO value aesthetics. I’m not sure why. I don’t want everything in my home to be functional. Ever. I don’t like visually looking at ONLY functional objects and I wouldn’t do it. I’ve seen people here claim “the times have changed, we don’t care about fussiness anymore.” Well, I do. I can be anti consumption, and live in beauty.

I have a gorgeous gorgeous cherry hutch that takes maybe two seconds to dust and I get so. many. compliments. It’s the beauty of the room, I smile every morning at it. Beautiful woodwork.

Some of the people who claim they hate all of those “unnecessary” items fail to realize that because I have beautiful and sturdy furniture, I have relatively few things. My house is well kept because I only have a few expensive things, and curate it accordingly. I cannot justify going into an ikea and buying something made of particle board. These solid wood items will be with me until the end god willing.

I will use my one beautiful china set until it dies. That hutch will always be with me. I built a gorgeous walnut dining room table in a colonial fashion that will be my one and only table until I die.

Idk. I like beauty. I hate overconsumption. There’s a middle ground here. I’d rather have these fussy pieces than piles of Amazon plastic shit everywhere. Some of the people I know irl who claim to hate “items that aren’t functional” have the biggest shopping addictions, so bad you can’t move in their house.

So I’ll take my fairly simple but beautiful cottage and bid you adieu! Because my home is nearly almost completely furnished now, I never really buy anything anymore. And if I do it’s from a thrift store but even that’s becoming rare as I like lots of breathing space in my home.

Idk. Just a little blurb for those people whose goal is not purely “this HAS to be strictly functional.” But I also think Amazon addictions are rampant rn and this might be where that idea started. If I see another stack of Amazon boxes outside of my friends houses whom I know can barely walk in their house, I’ll scream.

And if anything, Victorians and Colonial people were EXTREMELY good at using literally every scrap. They had no choice. And that was with all their fussiness and all. Even Martha Washington stripped George’s old uniforms to be sewn into quilts. And my my are they beautiful!

What do I do? This cat is ruthless. He attacked my brothers girlfriend, my father (who is a huge cat guy), my stepmom, my father in law, and me.

My brother called me bawling a year ago that a stray cat in his apartment complex was taken in and going to be put down due to feline leukemia. He begged me to take him because he already had healthy cats, and I didn’t have any.

I was raised with five cats. This is unlike any of those but what I understand is the leukemia can cause aggression.

I was sitting on the couch with my fiance, my chihuahua on my lap as usual. The cat jumped up and started beating the fuck out of my dog. I looked over and my dogs paw was slashed and blood was gushing out of his right eye. I screamed, there’s blood all over my couch, myself, my dog. We put the cat in a separate room and barricaded him.

I’m so sad. My dad who is a huge cat lover was like no, I’ve never seen a cat be that ruthless. I won’t pet him anymore.

It just sucks. I absolutely do not want to put him down but he can’t stay can he? I’m so distraught.

Six months ago I took the cat to the vet over the cat scratching me when he wanted food which was 24/7. They told me to try an automatic feeder. It didn’t help. I carry the Dyson with me now to get me laundry (which is near his feeder) so he can’t attack me around the corner when I go back upstairs.

He can be sweet. That’s why I’m so distraught.

A few weeks ago I went outside to take the garbage out and heard my dog screaming. I came in and the cat had barricaded him and my dog had blood on his head. We’ve had to barricade them each time we leave since. Maybe it’s my fault

What do I do? This cat is ruthless. He attacked my brothers girlfriend, my father (who is a huge cat guy), my stepmom, my father in law, and me.

My brother called me bawling a year ago that a stray cat in his apartment complex was taken in and going to be put down due to feline leukemia. He begged me to take him because he already had healthy cats, and I didn’t have any.

I was raised with five cats. This is unlike any of those but what I understand is the leukemia can cause aggression.

I was sitting on the couch with my fiance, my chihuahua on my lap as usual. The cat jumped up and started beating the fuck out of my dog. I looked over and my dogs paw was slashed and blood was gushing out of his right eye. I screamed, there’s blood all over my couch, myself, my dog. We put the cat in a separate room and barricaded him.

I’m so sad. My dad who is a huge cat lover was like no, I’ve never seen a cat be that ruthless. I won’t pet him anymore.

It just sucks. I absolutely do not want to put him down but he can’t stay can he? I’m so distraught.

Six months ago I took the cat to the vet over the cat scratching me when he wanted food which was 24/7. They told me to try an automatic feeder. It didn’t help. I carry the Dyson with me now to get me laundry (which is near his feeder) so he can’t attack me around the corner when I go back upstairs.

He can be sweet. That’s why I’m so distraught. I’m calling the vet tomorrow but I’m just shaken.

The one area I struggle, and by the time I’m done deep cleaning all the bathrooms, the last thing I wanna do is an even bigger task!

I literally wince every time I hear them.

I’m a pick me boy I guess but howwww did actual writers make that hot garbage?

My husband just looks at me and rolls his eyes.

The Black Licorice one is a SIN bestie. A SIN.

Keep in mind I LOVE bubblegum pop. The lyrics don’t have to be meaningful but whaaaat

I will shoot my TV if I hear black licorice again deadass

I am asking this as a gay man who is very deeply interested in sociology.

I find it fascinating in a historical context but I genuinely wonder this often. I live in a colonial home, and if I threw a rock and hit all the other Victorians or colonials in my area, nearly all of them are owned by gay couples.

I’ve actually really thought into this because I wondered whether I loved aesthetics because they genuinely made me happy or I felt I had to be because people expect cultural richness from gay men usually.

I was drawing colonial and Victorian houses at age 11, long before I knew I was gay or what it really was, so I naturally just loved the aesthetics from the start.

I also do dress well. Another archetype I’m hitting, but not intentionally. I genuinely want to look good.

After much thought I think it comes to three things:

1. We use it as a way to cope. Gay men already break the moral code, might as well follow our interests where they take us. I think men do also do this, but they still might be apprehensive to get into say - high fashion - for fear of being viewed as effeminate.
2. Maybe straight men ARE into this, but can’t show it for fear of being labeled feminine.

What I find most fascinating is that we actually see this start occurring in the 20th century. Before that, straight men were viewed as nearly just as interested in aesthetics. It wasn’t until about the 50’s where we see this massive “men shouldn’t care and should do the bare minimum” kinda switch.

George Washington himself was absolutely obsessed with the architecture of Mount Vernon. Men built and designed most of these colonials and Victorians im speaking of.

Idk I’m fascinated

For instance, I have a favorite cherry crumble pie recipe I love but I want it to just be slightly more soft as the fruit sometimes doesn’t breakdown enough.

Can I just put the filling on the stove until it’s the correct consistency? Where it loses me is I should stop before my desired consistency because it’ll cook down more in the oven, right?

Help! 😂

I usually just look for signs of the thickener activating and pull it off the stove and into the crust it goes.

I’m using the standard e12 clear flame shaped bulbs but I find them lacking.

Is there anything more realistic but still gives off enough light?

Specifically for part or full time house spouses.

I struggle forcing myself to stop completing tasks because I’m always around them if that makes sense.

I thought about stopping at 5 like a normal job - but haven’t had success with it so far.

I’d like to actually enjoy my home.

Easter. Halloween. The Fourth. Etc

I would even do the smaller holidays just to get us all looking forward to something.

And every single time there’s the most immature, dumbest drama imaginable. Usually before the actual event even.

I usually host the Fourth of July and now they are going at it about Trump on the group text.

Last year my uncle and father went at it on Halloween.

My dad and uncle went at it about religion on Easter.

Thanksgiving my aunt threw a fit about pies.

I quit.

Life already seems to be getting bleaker with less and less family and community ties in the modern world. But genuinely I tried to be that person because I love hosting. Never again.

And let me clarify - the only reason I loved holidays so much was because it was a reason to be together. That’s it.

Fuck it. I’d rather be alone and enjoy it on my own.

I admit I struggle with perfectionism.

Moving to a bigger home from an apartment has been quite an adjustment. I swear I dust, blink, and the dust is right back. Much like weeding a garden.

In the apartment, I could deep clean one day a week and it felt “complete” but that’s not possible in my home now. I tried it once and it just wasn’t possible.

I like my home tidy but I want to enjoy my home more than seeing a chore everywhere I go. It’s never done. And when it’s done, it needs to be cleaned again.

I cleaned the baseboards a few days ago and already today I saw dog hair on it and just rolled my eyes. I know my expectations are too high. Life on earth is inherently dirty. The natural state will always be dirty. At least that’s what I tell myself to lighten the load.

I recently switched from dailies to monthlies due to cost and holy shit, I can like feel the edges and they hurt?

The monthlies are air optix.

I tried eyedrops thinking it was due to dryness and it didn’t fix it. My eyes started watering and that didn’t stop it either.

It’s almost like the edges feel sharper when I blink. They aren’t inside out.

Are my eyes just, over it? Is it lasik time?

I thought I would be past this?

Moved here from Naples, FL and ngl im struggling a little.

I am looking for the prettiest towns Indiana can offer.

Madison so far has been my favorite.

I am from here originally. Moved to Naples. Came back.