u/Amodernhousehusband

Something that’s always bothered me is people being like “oh I can clean all the windows in like half an hour”

But how in depth are most people meaning?

Like if I wanted too, I could clean each crevice and tiny angle and it would take far longer just trying to get in all the tracks, etc!

And I see comments all the time these people clean their whole house in three hours?

I live in a bigger home, maybe that’s half the battle. But I still don’t believe that.

I just had my annual and like wtf? So much weird stuff this year.

Carbon dioxide down.

Calcium up.

Protein high but how??? I don’t take supplements.

Idk I wonder if there’s anything similarly out of wack on our standard labs.

I can’t say how she died due to the auto mod, but let’s just say she struggled badly with depression.

My brother and I lost my mother to a mental health crisis when we were 10 and 8 respectively.

It haunts me. It haunts me more now that I’ve gotten older and see all of these families celebrating their moms and mine effectively ditched me.

Anyone else here or am I alone? This experience seems so rare I don’t really, and can’t really relate to others at times. The world is not vibrant for me. I’ve been through hell.

Am I insane to think that it colored my world? You know how some people have rose colored glasses? I have the opposite. I have black.

My brother struggles too. My dad refused to put us in therapy saying “we’d be fine”

Edit- I wouldn’t say I’m depressed. But it does concern me that I have thoughts like “just quit” but studies show kids who lose a parent that way have a much much higher risk of doing the same. It’s scary how deeply it burns into your brain.

Sometimes I just wake up and I’m like ??? That really happened?

And yeah, it did. And the weight of that is immensely soul crushing. It’s haunting.

I have been downplaying it but I genuinely think it changed my perspective on the whole word, my view of life, and how I interact with people.

Yikes!

There’s got to be a better system than me tip toeing and running to the shower!