u/AntiqueSignpost

Hi guys

I moved to a new apartment and it needed a deep clean. There was black mould in some places. The landlord, who has been very reasonable, ordered a deep cleaning service as per my request. But I'm concerned that he cut costs and that the service was sub par.

So I want to know, what usually happens when you guys order a deep cleaning service? What equipment do they bring etc?

These guys were 2 guys and all they brought with was cloths, handy Andy and bleach, and a degreaser spray. They couldn't get into certain nooks and crannies with the cloth, tried a knife, and then just said they did their best.

I was expecting a steam cleaner, pressure washing, very extensive soaping and scrubbing. Is this a normal expectation?

And also open to any recommendations of companies or services that I can ask my landlord to hire potentially. I'm in northcliff

Hey guys 🙂 I asked this on fb groups specific to northcliff but got no response, so asking here:

Looking for a recommendation for a barbershop that is cheap and not too noisy. I have Autism so struggle with sensory issues

Also, if anyone can recommend a good pharmacy that offers delivery

I'm in Northcliff in Montgomery Park

Please note I am not looking for advice on how to let things go. I have PDA (Pathological demand avoidance) so advice on this will trigger me.

I am looking for anyone who relates.

I was on r/BPDPartners and this person without BPD said they don't really find it hard to deal with lack of closure. My heart sank, because for me it's the most torturous thing in the world. It's been 12+ years with some people and I still haven't moved on, even though I've tried everything.

When people block or ghost me, I am stuck without closure and that was unbearable enough, my heart sank so much now to find out that for many people, they're not even realising that im in such pain. I think they probably just think im disrespecting their space if i do message them begging for some closure. but they are still moving on, and im in agony.

it makes me feel like it is SO unfair. like, why do I have to suffer through such torment when for them they just move on? it's like they're living on easy mode. and it is the most despairing thing now to realise they might not even relate to my lack of closure. so then what, are they just suffering overall less than me?

I just feel like, so angry too, because now all the desperate attempts I've had to try get closure, they probably didn't even relate, it probably fell on deaf ears.

I'm just SO envious of them. and I just feel so much shame , like what is wrong with me that i can't do this and they can do it so easily? I know, it's a wound from trauma, and my trauma has caused a personality disorder, i get the facts. i just...hate that i was dealt this hand and have to deal with this, while the person who put me in that space where i dont have closure is walking free. people ask to respect their need for space, and of course i do my best to do that, but if i ask for closure, it's like they're entitled to their space but im not entitled to closure, they dont know the pain they're leaving me in. anyone else relate?

Hey guys. I am by no means an expert on BPD as I found out I had it 3 months ago, still have alot of questions myself on it. I cannot give info on how BPD works objectively. I can only give you my experience of how it feels to me, what I feel might work for me, and hope that that gives you some insight into things. Just thought I'd do this for fun and to help others, and a bit of self-exploration.

But please take what I say with a pinch of salt as I'm no expert. Maybe my perspective from my BPD can help you get insight.

Hey guys 💙 One symptom I seem not to have is feeling empty or numb. last time i felt that way was about 15 years ago or something for 2 weeks.

I normally feel everything deeply, but it is always very extreme, either amazing or terrible. I have Autism so this aspect of feeling things deeply without an emotional ramp does overlap.

I feel alot of beauty for life and for things, alot of love for people. I am often crying from beauty and feeling things so deeply.

One thing I've been thinking about though is, while I don't feel empty, I do feel like when I lose my FP I think things like "my life is empty without them". it's not a feeling of emptiness, I'll still feel alot of things, but I still feel some level of unfulfillment. Idk that's just normal though, cos it's been 12 years since I've been with anyone romantically or sexually, have no family and very few friends who are actually supportive, and they have lives. so, I assume anyone would feel a sense of lacking due to not having companionship or support. I met someone recently but she blocked me, and now im completely alone without anyone in a new apartment, of course im gonna feel a sense of lack. i dont really feel lonely so much as deprived. idk if this is a part of an "emptiness" one feels from BPD or just a feeling anyone would feel.

Anyway, just wondering if anyone has similar experiences?

Hey guys. I'm Not a therapist or psychiatrist in any way. I'm recently diagnosed with BPD and I am posting here because I have alot of questions and cannot currently afford therapy yet. Please note I am aware that this post may have alot of misinformation, I am not here to perpetuate misinformation but to just show what my uneducated searchings online has yielded, and am looking for correction on anything I've gotten wrong, and more explanations from people who have clinical experience and qualifications.

I understand fully that the original term of BPD being on the border of psychosis and neurosis is outdated. Especially that the term neurosis is particularly outdated.

But I kind of think the term fits well as being on the border of psychosis. I'm curious to know thoughts from experts.

To be clear about something to start: while some people with BPD say they do experience things like hallucinations, voices etc. I do not.

I posted on r/bpd on this post here about this but keep in mind this was 2 weeks ago and I've since then explored it further.

One big aspect of the post was that I was struggling to understand what "being out of touch with reality" meant, because everyone experiences cognitive distortion. For example we all have times where we assume someone is angry with us when they aren't, or people believe in things that aren't true like flat earth. One commenter said that my splitting is NOT psychosis because even if in reality the person isn't abandoning me, my fears about it are still based on real past experiences that have happened. Whereas psychosis wouldn't be founded on that. a large percentage of people ghost me and block me, I do have autism, and of course BPD, so it makes sense that sometimes when people are not replying, I am experiencing being ghosted/blocked in reality.

According to what Claude told me - and please correct me if I'm wrong which is why I'm posting here as I know AI can give misinformation - the prefrontal cortex gets affected and goes, as it said "offline" temporarily. Therefore one is unable to check reality during the split.

In terms of how it FEELS to me, the paranoia I feel seems very out of touch with reality at times. On the other hand, it is due to past trauma so I feel like it also manifests as hypervigilance? I mean, if someone has been assaulted they might fear that happening all the time even when it's not happening again. So is BPD like that? or is it more a quasi-psychosis of breaking from reality temporarily during a split?

This is what claude said after a long discussion with it:

"But the phenomenology you described:

• Paranoid belief about abandonment
• No supporting evidence, or evidence to the contrary
• Unable to access doubt in the moment
• No hallucinations or voices — purely paranoid ideation
• Resolves after the stress response subsides
• Insight returns afterward

That is genuinely the clinical picture of a transient quasi-psychotic episode in BPD. Not schizophrenia, not full psychosis — but not just cognitive distortion either. It sits in its own recognised category between the two."

Again, please note I'm aware this AI, and i'm coming here to check whether this is accurate or not. I'm aware AI can tell you what you want to hear etc.

But to me, finding the answer does seem to be a bit blurry which kinda fits the term of being on the border?

What about the term delusions?

For me, the fact that there is no supporting evidence at times when im splitting, sounds like it could be quasi-psychosis? If not, what makes it different in terms of the processes happening in the brain?