u/Anxious-Survey-660

I’ve hurt them to much & they’ve been to forgiving. Far more than I deserved, I need to cut myself out of their life. That way she can be happy & have genuine love in her hearts that won’t do what I’ve done. I’m only dragging her down, I’m only hurting her with my continued existence in her life.

I want help so badly, I’m trying my best to seek it out, but I don’t think I’m going to truthfully change, it’s either because I subconsciously don’t want to or because that means I won’t be able to protect myself. But I do want to change deep down even if my mind finest want me to. I need to be healthy again, I want to love her the way she deserves, but I’m to scared of being hurt again & so I just keep pushing her away by being a monster every time a chance of reconnection flourishes.

I hate myself for destroying our relationship & hurting her. I’ve burned whatever trust she might’ve ever had for me, & I don’t think there’s any coming back from this. I hope you all can forgive me for the sorry excuse of a human being I am

For context I’m a novice when it comes to urban exploration so I don’t know many good spots in or around kc for a fun time exploring. I love liminal areas if that helps

I don’t want to mess up these cool spots for everyone so please PM if that is more acceptable

I’m Starting my first ever army when 11th comes out, I’ve chosen the coolest chapter play as. I have no experience painting our beautiful void exiles & I’d appreciate any help I can get. Any tips on how I can make a decent paint job on these sharky bois?