u/AskPuzzleheaded1797

Actually I never dreamt about the American dream, I didn't know about it. I went to the US to get my masters and get away from my dysfunctional family. Then I realized I like it here, also because I wanted to be away from my parents. I chased after the green card, it was a life or death situation for me, and finally got it in the winter of this year. The honeymoon ended after a few months of getting that beautiful card. Then now I am thinking, wtf did I do to myself? I have no friends, no family, and no partner here. I'm 33 woman and have never been in a relationship. I have been in survival mode for almost 9 years and neglected this side of my life.

I have never felt so lonely, I have been alone for so long but never had a problem with it until recently. Today is July 4th, it might not hit the same for some Americans but it hits differently for me, I am spending it alone in my apartment, getting drunk alone. I tried to cheer myself up and eat sorbet and cheese burgers this afternoon but I kept crying while driving, could barly see the roads. I'm not regretting my decision to make it here. But it taught me a lesson that happiness is not necessarily what you achieve in life, who you're getting away from, or money. It is being surrounded by the warmth of family and friends..

Do you guys tend to have a type ? Mine doesn't have a type my LO could be man, woman, brunette, blond, different ethnicities and professions. No one is safe from my attack.

I'm dealing with this for 2 years. It is bilateral lesions at the inner labia right next to the introitus, in the lower part of the vulva. They look like nodules that's oozing greenish/white pus 24/7. Saw gynecologist specialized in vulvar conditions, colorectal surgeon, and GI. had biopsy, culture tests, and imaging none is showing I have fistula or vulvar Crohn's. I have Crohn's disease so they just went by vulvar Crohn's which is extremely rare, they ruled out rectal fistulae. I was treated with steroids injections, clobetasol, antibiotics and Skyrizi.

Whenever I feel like clobetasol is working, and one of the nodule closes up, one day it starts filling up with pus and it has nowhere to go, it is painful to walk and sit. Then later in 24-48 hours it opens up and it oozes old blood and then later green pus.

It also feels like the lesions are connected, when I pressed on the right lesion, the left lesion oozes like a tiny volcano.

At this point I am questioning this diagnosis. The gynocologist said she is at lost. She goes back and forth to the same meds that didn't work. I'm trying to figure out if a dermatologist with HS experience can take a look at this. Also, anyone have experience with this and what imaging and treatment you got?

I am at drive through to buy comfort food

If you guys know any dermatologist or gynocologist, this sub seems to know more about vulvar specialists.

I'm in my early 30s. I have been battling vulvar condition for 2 years. It was initially thought to be lichen sclerosus but later was ruled out as vulvar Crohn's, all my tests and biopsy are negative or non specific, but the current gynocologist decided it is vulvar Crohn's and treated it as such. Colorectal surgeon doesn't think it is fistula either.

I have a long history of Crohn's disease so it makes sense. I have bilateral lesions on the inner labia at 5 and 7 o'clock. They feel like lumps filled with pus, sometimes they look like crank sores, they drain white and greenish pus. It feels like the two lesions are connected because the fluid transfers from the right lesion to the left when I press the right lesion

The gynocologist tried clobetasol first then kenalog injections then clobetasol again, and antibiotics. Also I started biologics to fight the Crohn's in general but none helped, it's still draining and hurts whenever I have bowel movement and it's like the rectum muscles triggering the lesion and it swells right after I poop.

This is a rare vulva condition and I am having a hard time finding a specialist, the current gynocologist seems to run out of ideas, back and forth with local steroids. She mentioned surgery but I am uncomfortable since she said she doesn't fix fistulas and I don't know what she will do if she finds a connection during lesion removal, she thinks it is superficial lesion that can be removed. I am still using Clobetasol, now the right lesion doesn't drain anymore it seems like it healed from the outside but not inside, it closed up. But it is swollen and it hurts to touch it is probably trapped with pus and because the pus comes out of the left side when I press the right side.

My GI doctor plans to change my biologics but I don't have high hopes.

I had selective mutism from kindergarten age until around 14 (selective mutism is defined as unable to speak in specific social situations like school or work but can speak comfortably in relaxed environments like homem. It stems from social anxiety).

This could be a rare condition, when I overcame selective mutism, I still had social anxiety but was able to talk to anyone. As an adult I saw therapists for my social anxiety and none of them were familiar with it when I brought it up.

I have been reading papers that suggest this is a sign of autism that needs to be flagged and followed if they have autism, but not every kid with selective mutism will be diagnosed with it.

Any of you have experienced selective mutism?

I'm exhausted by this. 2 years ago I felt bilateral lumps around the introitus and they were bleeding and burning like hell when I pee. It was painful when I pooped. Drains pus and blood. It doesn't drain poop and my colorectal surgeon doesn't think it is fistula, I have never had history with fistulas.

The first gynocologist didn't know wtf was that and all my tests were negative. Also not sexually active so nothing I caught from someone. I saw a second gynecologist and she is the main one I see, she claims to be a specialist in chronic vulva conditions and she thought it was vulvar Crohn's and treated as such. I had a biopsy and it wasn't specific, it just says the tissue is acutely inflamed and no signs of Crohn's or another dermatology problem. The lesions look like canker sores and sometimes they change the color to match the vulva color. It doesn't look knife cuts.

But I notice that when I press the right lesion the left one drains. It feels like they are connected. If I squeeze the left size alone it doesn't drain. Once I get a cotton swap and just press the right one, the left one is oozing white/greenish pus.

I got kenalog injections, clobetasol oitment and I started Skyrizi and have been on it for almost 2 years. My GI Crohn's is in remission for a long time, everything on my labs are great, even the colonoscopy.

I went to see a second opinion gynocologist with urology experience also didn't know wtf was that but she thought it is abscess and gave me Augmentin it stopped the drainage for a month and came back. When I returned she suggested I use vaginal estrogen cream which didn't make sense since this is not a typical dryness, it is an open wound oozing pus. I went back to my original gynocologist and she said nah the other doc is wrong keep using Clobetasol. The lesion is still bothering me. Last option is surgery. She suggested that she will remove the lesions, but I am afraid she doesn't understand that these are connected they're not just skin removal and stitching, she probably has to clean up inside and drain I don't know why they can't figure this out.

I'm in my early 30s I have had Crohn's since I was 11. I feel depressed.

I'm 33F and have never been intimate with anyone in any form. I'm not religious now but I come from a very religious home and I didn't know anything about sex at all until I went to highschool I heard about it from friends. I just knew when I was around 9 that if I touched myself down there it felt good but I had no idea that it had a name.

This is embarrassing and maybe concerning, but you guys might be comfortable hearing about this so I'll spill my secrets and I hope I hear your opinions if my views of sex are unhealthy.

Once I had access to smart phone and porn in college I started watching porn regularly and exploring what makes me climax. In the beginning I would cum quickly if I just saw naked couples but later I started to build a library of favorite videos. Later, most of the videos in my library are aggressive types of sex. Like if the woman is moaning and enjoying sex it doesn't turn me on. If the woman is in distress, unhappy and the man is forcing it on her it turns me on (I always hope it is acting because I don't enjoy it when the woman is being hit or he is spitting on her or if she is bleeding. I don't like violence and physical pain, sometimes I don't mind the spitting as long as the sex itself is sexy and meeting all the above).

I don't know why I don't like the videos when the woman is enjoying it. Also, most of the videos is that the man is pleasuring the woman, he eats her or fingers her..etc. Sometimes I like when the woman is blowing the man but not when she is enjoying it, it isn't my most favorite part, like it is ok. I don't know if this porn is shaping the way I desire sex. I know sex should be mutual and I don't want to be selfish in a relationship and not making the partner happy and care about my pleasure only.

Later in the past year I started having weird fantasies when I started seeing my gynocologist, unfortunately I was diagnosed with a chronic and rare dermatology issue down there and she is the only expert in this condition, I have to see her frequently, she was my first exposure to being touched there by someone else and she is hot 🔥. I feel like she opened a door I wasn't aware of, or maybe a door that should have been opened with a real intimate relationship. I add her to my fantasy list whenever I want to do this quickly and I cum too fast. But after I finish I feel depressed. I'm sure she will be disgusted by me if she knew so that's my second secret.

Anyways, since my sexual experiences are shaped by porn and fantasies. I don't know if I will have a healthy relationship or if porn distorted my brain and how I enjoy it? Are the type of things I watch and fantasize about related to some mental issues that I should talk about with a professional or is it normal? Would you consider me sexually aware and know my body and what I like even though I haven't lost the v card? Maybe I'm overestimating it but I feel like I am sexually experienced without needing to do it, I know what I'm supposed to do the the person but I also know what I like.

Tern Verge D9 is my first bike and I want to take care of it very well. I don't know much about bikes other than riding.

I asked the bike shop when I got it and they told me I should lubricate it just once every 3 weeks, do you guys lubricate it every 3 weeks or more frequently and how do you know when does it need it?

The other thing is 451 tires. I had the bike for 2 weeks and it didn't deflate yet. I bought an electric pump CYCPLUS AS2 Pro in case I will have to inflate it soon. Should I wait until I feel it is soft or is there a regimen?

I plan to attend a grand fundo in my region and will sign up for just 25 miles, do you recommend taking this pump with me ? I want to be as light as possible just a water bottle, my phone and wallet.

I have natural hair that is almost virgin. I went to a salon in the past where they relaxed it but it didn't become straight, just wavy or loose curls. I rarely iron my hair as well. I felt like maybe because I didn't use products it is a bit harder to relax. Anyways, I am nervous and want to go somewhere your trust in North East Ohio and I don't mind the drive.