I have the voice assistant completely disabled on my phone. I cannot Access it without manually enabling it. Yet SOMEHOW! This can still activate it. And i fiddle (naturally) with my headphones when i am, for example, at the cash register and have to take one out to speak and hear whats being said. It WITHOUT FAIL! WILL activate the voice assistant. It is infuriating to have to take my phone out my pocket and manually click the teeny tiny x to close the voice assistant and having to manually restart my Music every fucking time, because it also overrides that somehow.
AM: Anti-Matter
65k: 65'000 Rounds
A1"Sir, we finally mnaged to capture a Humaan Ship."
A2"Finally! Now we can replicate their Technology and even the Playing field!"
A1"About that, Sir. Everything on this ship is at least 100 years out of Date."
they go down to the dungeon
Human Prisoner"Of course its out of date. Its a Training Frigate. You cant appreciate the new technology if you only ever used it. Also, what are you gonna do it it fails? You need a reliable Backup-Plan. So if you cant navigate the Stars and find a firing solution on your Enemy with nothing but Paper-Charts, your Mark-1 Eyeballs and a Calculator, you have no place in the Navy!"
A1"You managed to destroy 8 Destroyers before we disabled your Drive..."
Human Prisoner"Yeah, we only defeated 8 Destroyers. Those Recruits clearly need more training! The Calculations were way too inacurate... Do you have a Pen and paper for me so i can note it down? I'd hate to forget the shortcomings of my Class"
"Look, i am not saying you are not intimidating. Its just... not to me you know...? Its kinda a Human thing. This is NOT intended as an insult: But you are cute to us. And we LO~VE a cute thing acting scary, it makes it even cuter. But, if it helps you, I watched Sadako Yamamura's Video to invite her over for tea and can ask her in 2 Days if she wants to teach you a thing or two about scaring Humans, ok? Just... do! not! try to act scary in front of her, or she WILL try to keep you after squealing in delight at you.
Human: "That's bullshit! Look at that thing! One good Torp or Missile, and your entire Ship is decapitated. Literally!"
Alien: "It is a time tested Design for maximum Visibility and Awareness of the Fleet!"
Human: "Your Bridge is completely exposed on a Tower above your Ship! You have almost the most advanced Sensors in the Galaxy and you cant figure out where your Ships are if you- Are those fucking Glass Windows!?"
Alien: "You know what!? If you are so much better at designing a Ship. Then tell me how Human Battleships are designed! Where is your Bridge?"
Human: deep breath "Ok. First: Which one? Transfer and Travel aka Civillian, Combat, General Command, or Recon? Second: Main, Secondary or Tertiary? And third: all of them are behind at lasts 2 Meters of Infused Steel on every single side and packed with enough surveillance equipment to even make the Human Covert Command blush with jealousy. And to top it off: All of them are deep inside the Ships. None of them are exposed enough that a single lucky shot can vent the entire fucking compartment and decapitate the entire ship from leadership! And even IF you manage to hit all 3 Combat Bridges and decapitate Combat Command. Every single Station on Board has standing orders for Engagements in absence of Command."
Playing a First Person Real-Time-Strategy MMORPG (think of Bannerlord but as an MMO) with Humans is an experience. My in-game Friend, Commander "Zergrush Fuckprotoss" and me carved ourselves a small independent Kingdom as soon as we got to max-level. It was nothing much really. Just 2 low-level Villages a small mid-level Town and a Motte and Bailey Castle.
Yesterday we logged in and saw some mid-level players raid all of it. The Castle was already in Flames and one of the Villages nothing more than charred ruins.
Zergrush just grinned at the travesty and opted into Voice-Chat for the first time in months. But he didnt speak, instead he sent me a text: "We have to make an entrance now, you are the more menacing of us, walk slowly towards them and do your BEST to look both completely calm and absolutely pissed at the same time. If they attack, i have your back. If you know what it means: I want you to lorewalk them down while aura-farming"
I did. And then i heard the Music start behind me and nearly lost it. The Song was perfect. "Here we are. Dont turn away now. We are the Warriors. That built this Town from Dust."
"Look at you! Your "fighting"-stance is utter and complete garbage! You're barely holding onto the knife, seriously as soon as you try to attack you are injuring yourself with that, and there is ZERO intent on harming me in your Eyes! You can't possibly call yourself a robber!"
proceeds to teach the Alien a proper stance and fighting basics
"NOW you can go and rob people! And here are 50 chits so you don't have to. Now leave and get a shower as well as something to eat or I'll have to beat the shit out of you. And I hate hurting someone that looks almost starved."