u/Big-Cook-4377

I see a lot of prompt saying "imagine your f/o comfort you after a rough day, when you feel down", "imagine your f/o encourage you to do housework, to shower, to take care of yourself", "Don't hurt yourself, or go in bad habit, because you will make your f/o sad"

It's just doesn't work with the one I have. He's not really the style of comfort people, and least the type of encourage people to take care of themselves. Like, I know he absolutely doesn't care about that, he already doesn't take care of himself. So it's just doesn't fit the characters. Yeah, later in his source, he kinda comfort people, but not in a explicit way, in a distant way? Not like the prompt say.

I still love Towa, doesn't have change. I don't love other characters as how I love him. It's just that I don't feel comfortable to be in a relationship anymore. I know that he's "fictional" but relationship still exhausted me. The problem is myself, not him. I feel uncomfortable with myself, so I feel uncomfortable imagine myself be in a relationship with him. I realized it when I have try to make art of us, I just get extremely uncomfortable. This community is for people who have a serious relationship, and I seriously think about ""break up"". That the " real me" don't be with him anymore, that I use a OC (who is similar/represent me) instead of. Just stop "shipping him with my real self, using a oc instead"

At the beginning, it's what I do, using a persona. But after I decided to get in a relationship with him, for trying to love myself and I was afraid that if I incarnate a OC, I just get more uncomfortable with myself. But doesn't change anything at the end.

He's still my favorite character, I still love him. I think I'm just too tired for dealing with a "fictional relationship" I already struggle with the "real" one. And my self hated get worse, who make that I'm extremely uncomfortable with myself.

Because both of the community hate each other. If I get into Christian community, I find a lot of homophobia and transphobia, clearly not a safe place for me. And in the LGBTQ+ most hate Christian and religion in general, saying that they hate God, God is bad, or not real. (Wich I kinda understand, I "hated God" until I realized that the god I hated wasn't the real God) So I just doesn't fit any where. It's have a war between these communities and I'm stuck between. If I say that I'm trans in the Christian community, I get a lot of hate, and if I say that I'm Christian in LGBTQ+ community I get less hate but more pity? Everyone say that I can't be both, just exhausting. I feel like I belong nowhere, it always be the case in my life (because I'm autistic). It only make me want to isolate myself more

I hate how BPD is romantized, "beautiful princess disorder", "I can fix her 🥺" or demonized saying that we're dangerous people.

I hate how NPD and ASPD are always demonized

I hate how ADHD and Autistic are romantized "you're just a little quirky or silly 🥺", "I'm so ADHD/Autistic 🤪"

I hate how depression is minimized and romantized "it's not a excuse, just get up!", "I too pass my days in my bed, I'm so depressive"

I hate how nobody talk about PPD, SzPD, ScPD, HPD, OCPD, AVPD, DPD

I hate that people see OCD as be obsessed with cleaning or organizing "I love cleaning, I'm so OCD", "I'm perfectionist, I'm so OCD"

I hate how bipolar is considered like a silly things and that people call others bipolar when they pass from sadness to happiness or the opposite

I hate how dyslexia, dyspraxia and others (I don't remember all the name) is "just be inattentive or not making efforts" because it's "easy" and everyone can

I hate how PTSD is see as a weak things "Just turn the page!*, "People are so weak 🙄"

And it's just a small part, it have so much more. Depressive is see as a weak things, that people who are depressive are just weak and sensible, that they exaggerated, that everyone is a little ADHD/autistic, that people create things for having attention...

I just hate how disorder is treated, internet like in real life.

I want write a SzPD character, the problem is that I struggle to find information, nobody talk about it. I just have the criteria, and having several disorders I know that more deep than that. I like reading how people feel about it, taking about their experience.

- How do you feel about romantic relationship ? Do you can feel romantic attraction, if yes do it's different from non schizoid?

- How do you feel emotion? Do you feel numb, little to no emotion or/and you don't know how to process and express it?

- Do you can care and/or worry for some people? Do you success to create deep bound with someone? Do you have a "exception"?

- Do it happens that you feel intense emotions or your always numb?

- How is your empathy level?

I know that schizoid people aren't interested into relationships, so generally avoid it. But I'm curious if some of you have a partner, romantic or Queerplatonic

I keep hurting myself, both physically and mentally. I do things because I know that's bad for me, I do it in the purpose of hurting myself. I trigger myself, I watch porn (only with my fetish, I wouldn't say what because I'm too embarassed), I physically hurt myself, sometimes I overdone myself... I know I do it, I realize it. But I don't want to stop, because I have difficulty to erase of my head the idea I deserve to suffer. I struggle do understand that I deserve to be happy. For me, I just deserve to suffer, I don't deserve to get better, I don't deserve to be happy. So I just hurt myself. Sometimes I do auto sabotage, both consciously and unconsciously.

It's like a part of me, I'm not always like that. I have divided my identity in three part (long story, ), one part hate himself want to see himself suffer. Think that he don't deserve to be happy and do everything for hurt himself. Sometimes I feel like three person fight into my head. 2 doesn't want to get better, say that they're fine, and that they deserve it, 1 try to get better, seeking God but the other either let go everything or just sabotage it. When I get better, I (they) try to destroy everything. It's not some demonic identity, it's just part of myself. They're me and I am them.

A part want to get better, try everything for that. A part doesn't care and a other part try to destroy everything.

And no, I can't afford therapy. I have try other way, but it didn't work

For those who don't know, special interest are a autistic things. It's something that we're obsessed with it, and take a lot of our mind. It can be anything, really anything, large subject like videos games, animals, or specific subject like a obscure species of fish. It can last long, months to years. A hyperfixation is similar, but for ADHD. I make a distinction between the two, for me, hyperfixation last less long that my special interest. Days, weeks and max a months. I can't control on what, how much it take place into my mind, how much it last long. I have no control on that. (It's not something bad, trying to avoid that can be dangerous. It's a way to regulate ourselves, but sometimes it can be extreme)

A brief explanation, for that everyone understand.

My mind are occupied by that and I just feel bad because it's not on God. I can't control it, I try to make a place for God, but sometimes it's less than my hyperfixation and Specific interest . I would like to have a special interest on Him, but I can't force. It's written to live for God, but sometimes I live for my hyperfixation and special interest. I feel bad that take so much place into my mind instead of God

I feel so much shame, that take me away from God. I can't talk to him, the shame stop me. Sometimes I even disgust myself.

I have a certain fetish, and it cause me a lot of shame. It doesn't implied at any way to hurt people, it's harmless. I do it in real life but just alone. I watch video of it, it the only thing that turn me on. I have try to stop, with no success. Can be contradictory but the shame doesn't help, it get thing worse. More I feel shame, more I continue, more I try to stop, more I fail and more I keep doing it. I have others kinks too, that I do alone, because I don't have any partner and find the good one is too complicated. I'm not the type of do it with a stranger, I need to develop a strong relationship with the person.

Most of my kinks are in fictional context, I'm more indifferent in real life. I'm not so much interested to do it irl, but if one day I find a partner, why not try. I'm really interested into BDSM, especially D/S dynamic. It doesn't turn me on, I don't feel any arousal, my body feel nothing. I just enjoy it as many others things, like fiction in general. I feel a excitement but I know that's nothing sexual. For more precision, I feel little to no sexual attraction toward people. I have some interest into sex, but more the act and not the person. I kinda feel lust but in the opposite way. Lust is see a person as a object, don't care about their feelings. Me, it's the opposite. It really turn me on to imagine be treated as a object, be degraded ext. (And I feel A LOT of shame for that. I don't know why my body is so excited for that.) I do have some fantasy, but it rarely involves myself, (I often incarne a character that I have created), and it involves fictional characters. I may or may not be attracted to them.

Otherwise, I really enjoyed sexual fiction, whatever it's drawing or writing. It doesn't turn me on, like say before, I just enjoy it as a fiction. I'm more into dark things in fiction, such as sadomasochism in a more extreme way (but not too extreme, not in a gore way). I like power exchange/power imbalance, pet play, bondage and this things. But, even if it's fiction, characters need to be consent, otherwise it make me uncomfortable.

I have try to stop in the past, I always hated this part. Sometimes I find myself disgusting, I hated myself for that. I have try to not be like that, but it always finish by come back. My mother have say something recently (she studie for help people in a Christian way), that we need to accept every part of ourselves, even the most horrible and/or disgusting one. It was in a book that she read (giving by her pastor, for studying). How can I accept this part and still be with God? How can I accept my fetish and kink and be with God? I don't control my arousal for that. I just feel so ashamed by how I'm turned on. For the fiction, even if I don't read/watch, I still enjoy it, I still like it. And just that make me feel shame. I always wonder why I am like that. Why I am son unholy and disgusting? One of them reason why I never imagined before be with God. I'm so "dirty" for him. I like "dirty" things, whatever it's turn me on or not.

So all of that shame me A LOT. I'm someone who feel a lot of shame in daily, I always be shamed of myself and of what I like. For example: I'm a adult who love plushies, I'm really ashamed of that. I enjoy making doll accessories, clothes and furniture , it cause me a lot of shame. I like taking out plush with me, it help me with my anxiety , but sometimes I feel so much shame I don't think that liking plush, making accessories and clothes, take them outside with me, is something bad or sinful.

How much time you know them before dating them? Do it take days, weeks, months? Just curious

I always make a distinction between self-ship and Yumeship. For me, selfship is shipping a character with myself, the "irl" me, not a oc, and it's something serious. I sincerely fall in love with the character, that I call my partner. Yumeshipping is for fun, a hobby. I ship characters that I like with a OC, I can use it as a coping mechanism.

I don't necessarily LOVE the characters with I Yume. I like them, but not as much that my partner. But recently, I think I may fall in love with some? I ship 4 characters with my OCS, and for two of them, I feel different than the 2 others. The 2 first are just characters that I like and start shipping with my OC for fun, because I liked the dynamic, daydream about them. I like the characters , but nothing more.

For the two others, I feel like I really like them? I always struggle for know my feelings, probably because neurodivergent. I like them and it have more, I have feeling. Maybe not as strong that my current partner, but I still love them. I don't know if I consider them as partners, I never imagined be in a polyA relationship, always thought I was monogamous, but maybe not? I just don't know and overthink about that. So advice are appreciated

I really like plush and I like taking them outside with me, but I often feel so much shame about that. I'm a adults and I still like plushies, but not just collecting, I like taking care of them, make them accessoire, cuddle them. I want so much take them outside with me, whatever it go shopping, appointment, or just hang out. I do sometimes but I'm just so embarassed. They help me with my anxiety and make me happy.

I want to know if I'm not alone. I know that if I see others people do the same ,it will give me reassurance and assurance.

I don't know how to help people and it make me feel bad. I don't have enough money to give, I'm really poor, and when I have money I like to buy myself things and I just feel egoistic for that. It's difficult to give food because I don't have a lot, it's more people who give me food. I sometimes give clothes, when I have others, or give plushies or others things that I don't want/use. Most of the things that I have was given. I can't work, I'm not able for the moment, I'm too mentally ill. I struggle with social interaction, I'm a lot anxious, don't know how to interact and don't understand people. I'm not the best for giving advice, but I can listen. I just feel that I'm not enough, and I don't know what to do more. I feel like I should ignore myself, my boundaries, limit, never take rest for feel like I'm useful and help people. And my limit and boundaries often feel like excuse, but I know if I ignore it, I will just do meltdown...

I don't go to the church for personal reasons, both because of my social anxiety and sensibility and the fear of be rejected. I feel that I'm not ready. My relationship/link with God is not the most stronger, and I know that go at the church, or just interact with other believers, can, and have almost destroy my relationship with God. At the point I was thinking, and still , that God hate me and that I can't be in a relationship with him. But I talk to my mother pastor.

Do it's the same thing or two different things? If it's different things, what are the differences?

If someone feel sexual attraction, do it's lust? If someone have sexual desire, do it's lust? If someone have fetish, do it's lust?

A gender slightly related to feminity, but not womanhood. Similar to Libra feminine, but will all gender (of what I read, Libra feminine is with agender.)

My gender is most masculine but I feel a little connection to feminity, but I'm not a woman. I would say it's 1-5%, rarely 10%.

I know that's something simple for the majority of people, but I'm aromantic and just don't understand romance. I don't understand what is considering like romance/romantic. And I can't make distinction between romantic feelings and other types, we're not even in a romantic relationship so...

We're both on aroace spectrum, we're in a Queerplatonic relationship. Maybe it's not allowed here and if it's the case, I'm sorry because it's been months that I am here. I struggle to understand the first rule... Do it's mean I can't be close to others people? That I can hug/cuddle my friend, sleep in the same bed, go on "date"/do activity together ? That's I can only love my partner and no one else? I know that for everyone else, it's simple and clear but not for me... I really love him, but I love others people too. All in different ways because they're different. I can't decide which is more important, because I love them for different reasons, in different way.

I may fall in love with a other characters, but I don't know if it's platonic, familial or queerplatonic

I struggle to know what type of love do I experience and make a difference between. I have a attraction toward a specific characters that I never had feel before, whatever fictional character or real people. But it's not romantic love, I'm aro and romantic adverse. Just imagine myself be in a romantic relationship make me exhausted and nauseous, even if it's a fictional one.

It's difficult to describe my feelings for him, I just want to be with him, kiss and cuddle. With time, I have developed a sexual attraction, first time ever that I feel that (whatever fictional character or real people), but it come and go. If he was real, he will be the only person that I want try with him. I have get a specific interest in him too, for months even years. I feel like my love, maybe more passionate side, fluctuate, but I think it's just normal. In a outside view, my relationship look like a romantic one.

I think I get other feeling for a character, but I can't say if it's platonic/friend, familial or same that I have for him. (I'm only child so I don't know how it's to have siblings) I want to cuddle and kiss him, I just find him so cute, more like my cats (or just other animals that I find cute). I just don't know how to know if I consider him like a friend, family members or partner.

For probably many people, it's something simple, but for me, I just don't know. I would like to have advice/questions for help

I'm not sure if it's just a crush, just a character that I like or more than that. I would like to have advice

I struggle to know what type of love do I experience and make a difference between. I have a attraction toward a specific characters that I never had feel before, whatever fictional character or real people. But it's not romantic love, I'm aro and romantic adverse. Just imagine myself be in a romantic relationship make me exhausted and nauseous, even if it's a fictional one.

It's difficult to describe my feelings for him, I just want to be with him, kiss and cuddle. With time, I have developed a sexual attraction, first time ever that I feel that (whatever fictional character or real people), but it come and go. If he was real, he will be the only person that I want try with him. I have get a specific interest in him too, for months even years. I feel like my love, maybe more passionate side, fluctuate, but I think it's just normal. In a outside view, my relationship look like a romantic one.

I think I get other feeling for a character, but I can't say if it's platonic/friend, familial or same that I have for him. I want to cuddle and kiss him, I just find him so cute, more like my cats (or just other animals that I find cute). I just don't know how to know if I consider him like a friend, family members or partner.

For probably many people, it's something simple, but for me, I just don't know. I would like to have advice/questions for help