u/Big-Cook-4377

I'm not sure if it's just a crush, just a character that I like or more than that. I would like to have advice

I struggle to know what type of love do I experience and make a difference between. I have a attraction toward a specific characters that I never had feel before, whatever fictional character or real people. But it's not romantic love, I'm aro and romantic adverse. Just imagine myself be in a romantic relationship make me exhausted and nauseous, even if it's a fictional one.

It's difficult to describe my feelings for him, I just want to be with him, kiss and cuddle. With time, I have developed a sexual attraction, first time ever that I feel that (whatever fictional character or real people), but it come and go. If he was real, he will be the only person that I want try with him. I have get a specific interest in him too, for months even years. I feel like my love, maybe more passionate side, fluctuate, but I think it's just normal. In a outside view, my relationship look like a romantic one.

I think I get other feeling for a character, but I can't say if it's platonic/friend, familial or same that I have for him. I want to cuddle and kiss him, I just find him so cute, more like my cats (or just other animals that I find cute). I just don't know how to know if I consider him like a friend, family members or partner.

For probably many people, it's something simple, but for me, I just don't know. I would like to have advice/questions for help

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I wanted ask question to ockin here; In fictokin community, I see a lot people talk about their source (like "what I remember look like", sometimes it diverge from the canon), how they similar or different. But with oc, how it work? Like, it doesn't have any canon, because it your own creation.

Do your oc have change after you kin them? Whatever it's physical, psychological, their story or anything.

Do you try to look like them? If you can, would you change your name by their? Do you different yourself for them or you're exactly the same person? Do you're like "two in a body"?

I would like to read more about ockin experience. I think I may be, but not sure. For me, we're not the same person but at the same time, yes. We have start to fusion together, we're less separate than in the past.

I feel like ockin are really rare. Fictokin is already not common, compared to otherkin (I know it's a under category of otherkin) and therian.

I wanted ask question to ockin here; In fictokin community, I see a lot people talk about their source (like "what I remember look like", sometimes it diverge from the canon), how they similar or different. But with oc, how it work? Like, it doesn't have any canon, because it your own creation.

Do your oc have change after you kin them? Whatever it's physical, psychological, their story or anything.

Do you try to look like them? If you can, would you change your name by their? Do you different yourself for them or you're exactly the same person? Do you're like "two in a body"?

I would like to read more about ockin experience. I think I may be, but not sure. For me, we're not the same person but at the same time, yes. We have start to fusion together, we're less separate than in the past.

Do you're the type of collect them, without touch them (for not damage them) or the one who like cuddle them? Do you sleep with them, or do you put them on a shelve? Do you take them outside (ESSA ), or keep them inside? Do you treat them with kind or with violence?

I'm just curious to see what type of plushies owners. For me, I like cuddle them, I sleep with them but some are on my shelves because I have a lot. I take some outside with me, and I treat them with kindness.

I have difficulty to focus on Jesus, I try but without much success... I know I should adore him, I really have difficulty to force feeling. I probably love more some fictional characters than him, or think more about them than Him. Sometimes I just get obsessed with some characters, that I love analysis, try to understand, want to know everything about them. I often buy merch of them, look at fanart, make craft related. But I just feel bad because I know it should be only Jesus... I have try, but I like these characters because their personality, design, story, I like each one for different reasons. Jesus is not like them, they have something that He doesn't.... I know that Jesus is everything that we need, I just like some type of character, their dynamic/trope, theirs designs, and they don't have the same personality and physical than Him... I'm just too focus on them, I know, I try to not. But sometimes, I just think about them. I want to buy merch, make things, craft, watch the show/play the game, do things about them. They make me happy, I known it shouldn't. Only Jesus can make me happy. I try to only focus on Jesus, but I don't feel the thrill/energy, maybe because I'm not completely open... I have the bad habit to when I feel down, to focus on what I like and not Jesus... But in a way I don't feel like it change something? Sometimes I feel like focus on a character or listen to music help me more than Him. I know that's bad and I'm really sorry... I know that I should only focus on Jesus and forget everything, He full/satisfied us. I feel like if I abandon what I like, I will feel empty... When I'm down, I like to think about a character that I like. I know it shouldn't be them, but Jesus. I feel bad about it, because I struggle to replace them by Jesus. I feel like I shouldn't like them, but only Jesus. I know I have to less focus on them, but it's difficult when i get obsessed

(For more precision, I'm autistic+ADHD, who gave me obsession who can last days, weeks, months or years. I can't control, and I can't decide on what. If I can't decide or control, do you think God can? Do you think God can decide what is my hyperfixation or special interest?)

Sorry if it non-sense, I'm kinda in panic and I'm tired. Thanks Audhd, anxiety+ big/exhausted days. I can repeat myself, struggle with formulation and be understood

How do you know that's the characters that you love and you want to date? How much time do it's take before you decide to date them? If it's love at first sight, if it happens with others characters, what do you do? Like, if you like several characters, how do you chose? What if you lost feeling?

I know that's probably "basic" dating question, but I'm aromantic and just don't understand. I can't recognize romantic feelings, if never I have it.

For now, I live as [irl name], probably the host. Whatever who I am, I try to fit his personality, have the same taste/interest, opinion ext. I struggle to let place to my headmates, probably afraid to do bad things. So I would like to have tips or anything, for let them a place. (I only have one "complete" headmate, others are more facets or fragments)

I'm used to live as a singlet, to mask a lot too.

I always be sharing, It never bother me to see ship or double, I was happy. But recently, each time that I see a double (my f/I isn't the most popular, double was rare, but now I see more and more), I feel a pain in my heart. I just feel bad? Like insecure. It's probably related to my low self esteem. I feel hurt when I see other people call themselves his husband (his "only one") or say that he's their. I no one for tell them what to do, to decide what they should do or not.

When I see people do fanart of them or s/I with him, I just feel invalid because I don't have it. I'm just not interested into it but I feel like less than them. I don't have much merch, I just don't have the money. I just never feel enough... I realized how that affects all aspects of my life, even selfship

I feel bad to feel bad for that. Canon ship doesn't bother me, I still like it. I think it's really related to my insecurities...

I see a lot of people talk badly about the community, because it's unhealthy or these things. I want to read positive things, so tell me how it have help you!

For me, just him existing make me happy, I had a special interest on him and on his source. I have learn English because of his source, who was only available in English (which was a language that I struggle to understand). I have draw him a lot, who help me to learn how to draw, he (and his source) have inspired several of my OCS and just my imaginary in general, without know him I wouldn't have created some important things for me. He have get me a interest into psychology, because I wanted to understand. I have start to feel more empathetic toward people in general, more I learn about psychology. I have get a friend because of him, we was on a discord server and have talk to me in private for know more about Towa and his source. He have make me realized that I'm more traumatized and hurted that I was thinking and give me hope to feel better some day. It's in this period that I have try to get help.

I would like to know what are your arguments against people who say that we're delusional, that's unhealthy or a disorder (maladaptive daydream)? I see a lot say that's not healthy to be in a fictional relationship, to take it seriously and that's look like maladaptive daydream. They don't have say in a mean tone like a lot of people do, it was more worry about my mental health. When thinking about that, they may not be wrong? So I would like to have your opinion on it

I don't talk about hater who just share hate, I talk about people who are worried.

For me, I have a self insert, in my f/o univers. Otherwise I ship him with myself! His appearance and personality are similar that mine, just different hair color and have piercings. I'm thinking about making a oc, for different dynamics.

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If you ship them with a OC, do they have a different personality that yours or have similar?

Not in a romantic or sexual way because I'm aroace, but I'm in a way attracted to men. So I say that I'm gay but doesn't really fit so I search for a term who described that

I have a lot of impure thought, sometimes of my choice and other not. I have a lot of fantaisie, I always like daydreaming. And I can have sexual fantasies but rarely involving myself. It's often about character that I like with character that I create. It can be violent too, I'm not a fan of irl violence or even in media but imagine it sometimes make me feel better, a way to vent. The problem is that I don't really want to stop... Of course, I want that be less than before, it can be considered like maladaptive daydream. I always do it, now it less often, less intense or at least I try...

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I have try to stop, but I finish by do it again. Because it make me feel better. But I know that have sexual thoughts are a sin. Even if you never act, only thinking is a sin. And it make me anxious to try to control all my thoughts and stop it when I have it.

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It's one of the reasons why for me, I can't have a relationship with God. I am impure, a sinner and nobody can save me. I can't have a relationship with him. It make me sad but I try to accept it. I thanks Him every night for everything and ask Him to help my loved one, but that's it. It's written that God doesn't want a relationship with sinner. I have too much impure thought . I have try to suppress it, but it doesn't work. And in a way, I don't really want I suppose? Because I like it. It was give me fun in my life. (But too much is really not good. It's difficult to not get in a extreme.)

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I'm just tired... I have stop studying the Bible, because I realized that I can't have a relationship with God and read it will only make me fear when I will die and how much I am evil. It's too much for me to try be almost perfect. I already have difficulty to live, so try to control everything in my life even my thoughts is just too much. If I do that, I will soon finish in burnout and just get a lot worse. I don't know what to do and I don't even know why I write it.

We a new system and we struggle to know things about headmate, so we would like to have tips. Tips for know their apparence, name ext.

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It make us anxious because we don't know, whatever how much we try. We don't know our apparences, how we supposed to look, our age, name, ext.

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