u/BloomingMosaic

so my (M20s for context) room is currently still sort of like a depression mess, but more like an ADHD nest.. just not had the energy/motivation to do it. but today I finally did a BIG part of it, which was my bed! for context I have what I believe is called a double twin bed or extra long twin bed? I forget the exact word but it's for a single person but a little extra long, and my room is very small so it's basically the focal point and takes up about 1/3rd of the available space along with my dresser (that's another beast to tackle)

my parents got mattress grippers that's basically a mesh they put under their mattress to keep it from sliding on the box spring and said it's worked really well and got me one too, they also have this big long cushion they said I could have (I think it was meant to be the back cushion for a loveseat or similar). my mattress has been basically dangling over the box spring lately.

tonight I finally cleaned up the shit blocking my bed from going into place properly and put the mattress gripper down! all by myself too with no prompting. I even put on a fitted sheet which I basically never have sheets lol idm sleeping on a bare mattress, but it feels really nice even if it might not stay for a long time! it's even dark blue and blue is my favourite colour. and the cushion fucking rocks. it's gonna be so easy now to have my bed as basically also a loveseat when I'm in here gaming or have a friend over. I got a bunch of my stuffed animals on and I love it.

it just feels great to have a big part of my room and where I spend a lot of my time finally cleaned up, and having this out of the way gives me the push to do more things. unfortunately it's 11:30pm and I get up at 7am tomorrow so I can't do much with the current dopamine rush, but I hope it'll help me maybe take on my dresser or bookcase or another small part of my room.

I just wanted to share this while it's fresh in my mind. I feel like a new man, god it feels really good. I'm super proud of myself for this. gonna watch some youtube and go to sleep in my now very comfy bed. peace and love on planet earth

so I have an almost 8 year old cat, she's 16lb and, not counting her tail (which adds an extra inch) 2 feet long. we just got her DNA results back (she's mostly 'Broadly Western', but ~14% Maine Coon which explains her size lol) and found while she's thankfully clear for over 40 genetic health markers, she is at high risk for periodontal disease and tooth resorption, and medium risk for bad breath (didn't need a DNA test to tell me that lol) so, obviously, I'm now more concerned about her dental health and want to take better care of her.

so I ordered what I found online to be the best toothpaste brand (PetSmile for anyone wondering) which was $21, oof.. but worth it. but then comes the issue: she will definitely not let a toothbrush in her mouth. if I put the paste on a toothbrush, she wouldn't gnaw on it either she'd just lick it off. I tried rubbing it on her teeth with my finger but it was clearly stressing her out and more trouble than worth for something that wasn't really working. but then I had a lightbulb moment!

I had gotten her some dental treats and I realized that since she already seemed to at least like the taste of the toothpaste, I can put some of that on her treats, and when she chews it it'll go on her teeth. not the most effective or ideal of course but I always say half ass is better than no ass. so now she has teeth time every day.

other part is, I've been trying to get into the habit of giving her dinner when we have it (she's normally free fed dry food since no one is around reliably enough to give her meals, but she does have breakfast) and I figured out I can put some water in her food (not pate, more like chunks of meat in gravy or broth) and she likes it better and is better hydrated that way. I also hide some drops of fish oil in her food.

I've just bought some more fancy treats for her today actually. she's an indoor cat so I try to keep her as healthy as I can and give her a lot of different food options. she has no idea I'm secretly improving her health through her diet. she just enjoys the treats lol

now I just need to convince my mom to give her only a couple treats at a time and not a whole handful.. 🙃 but my baby is eating even better than I do lol. get nutrition'ed, idiot.

I can't go into specifics ofc because of HIPAA, and not wanting to dox myself as well, but today was incredibly stressful, we were down to 3 techs and 1 pharmacist who I really don't like (he's always kind of condescending but not in a way that you can really describe to others as rude, but whenever he talks to me I always feel like a scolded child), we spent almost 30 minutes looking for a script that we ultimately had to redo, and the biggest thing is I ended up selling someone the wrong script and obviously got in trouble for it.

thank god he didn't take any, but it could've landed him in the ER or worse if he did. he also wasn't angry and neither was the other patient, but it's still horrible knowing that while in this situation it wasn't entirely my fault (there were a lot of factors), it ultimately would've all fallen on me and been because of me if something had happened to him because I'm the one who was supposed to be the last stop and doing the final check that would've stopped this, and I failed it.

on top of that I misremembered and wasn't exactly very clear when explaining what happened from my POV (I'm neurodivergent and have severe anxiety and was freaking the fuck out tbf, absolutely not an excuse but just trying to provide some more context) and what I said wasn't the exact same as what happened according to the security camera (again, not saying my incoherency and fucked up brain give me any excuse, but explaining how I fucked that part up) so now the pharmacist and the store supervisor in the room likely thought that I was trying to lie to cover my ass.

I don't think I'm in any legal trouble, I was given some paper to sign that I agreed with the reported events statement (which honestly I couldn't fucking read the handwriting but I assume it's basically what the pharmacist told me) and I just said I agree because I didn't want to get into more trouble if I said I disagreed.

the pharmacy manager is on vacation and store manager wasn't in today but I'm sure they'll also be told about it. I'm just praying they don't also have to talk to me about it. I know the pharmacist on duty had to lecture me, but given he'd already done so about something today and generally just always seems to have something he's unhappy about, it felt all the worse coming from him in particular.

I can't fucking take this, I don't know how anyone does. getting verbally abused by patients and customers, getting shit on by coworkers, being so scared to make a mistake and then all of this leading to making more mistakes, knowing those mistakes could literally kill someone. I've made a lot of mistakes already but none this severe. I already have nightmares about my job and I come home so drained from it and I feel like I spend all my time there and I only work 28 hours a week.

and the cherry on top is I make 15 fucking dollars an hour. just barely above minimum wage in my area. and I'm pretty sure all of my coworkers were hired for more than me, and I saw they've updated the job posting to start people off at $17.50 an hour. I'm not even certified in any way, state or national or by my company. I just paid $70 for a license and got on the job training and despite being there for almost a year I still feel like I'm underqualified for everything I do, even ringing up a retail item.

I got in the car and just burst into tears telling my mom a watered down version of what happened. and I know she feels horrible too because I can't just quit, since her and my dad's only income is disability (my dad has cancer and mom's chronically ill) and my paycheck is the only way we get by a lot of weeks.

it's just not fucking worth it. I'm not built for something like this, my brain isn't wired properly to do this sort of thing. especially not with such severe consequences and so many risks, knowing just one mistake could be fatal. I never even wanted to do anything related to healthcare. I was looking for my first job at 19 and this is the first thing I got an interview for.

there's a new food co-op in town, I've not seen anything online for applications but I'm gonna try to find a way to apply there or hell at one of the local grocery stores. at least me fucking up there won't be nearly as bad as fucking up in a pharmacy. everyone says I'm doing such a good job but I don't feel like I am, I feel like I take one step forward and three steps back and every success is outweighed by mistakes.

I didn't mean for this to be so long so I don't know if anyone will read it, sorry I'm so all over the place. I just wanted to vent somewhere that at least I know people will sort of understand me. I did try cuddling my cat at least but she got pissed and ran off, so I'm gonna have a long cry and maybe fix up my resume tonight. thank you if anyone does read. I just have to fucking get out of this job.

thats it rwally I just learned I can type with my eyes closed with surprising accuracy Im typing this all with my eyes closed hope I do good

okay now I just need to hit the charavyer requirement

old macdonald had a farm eieio

honestly pretty impressed with myself. that's all (this part was typed eyes open lol)

hey everyone, I'm making this post because my cat has had some issues I wanna check out so I want to schedule her for a vet appointment. disclaimer that my mom is going to be helping with this most likely, but I want to know what to expect ahead of time. my cat's never had a vet appointment except when she got fixed at 6 months (she's 7 now) and I was a teen and thus not involved in any of that process back then (in my early 20s now)

I also want to know how to go about paying vet bills. if it's relevant this is in the US. I plan to pay the bill entirely myself, unless my parents want to help me with it, but I'm not going to ask them to or pressure them or anything.

what I want for her is basically a routine check up.. and while I know what that looks like for humans I don't really know what it's like for a cat? I imagine there will be a physical examination, she has a lot of fur though and one of the issues involves her skin so I want to make sure they're taking a good look at that, especially looking for any cuts or wounds, is that something I need to ask specifically for? and if she's due for any vaccines or something is that another appointment we'd make or something that happens at that appointment? and can we be in the exam room with her when she's getting checked up? will she have to be sedated if she's particularly feisty? I don't want to traumatize her but I don't know if it's okay to give her catnip beforehand.

sorry for that little wall of text, any help is appreciated though. thank you!

I have a bag I like to use for work but it's often overflowing, today I needed to pack a big container for my lunch so I took some things out. not perfect but had a lot more room!

not sure if this was the right flair please correct me if I'm wrong, and bear with me on this I think I'm in a migraine predrome fog rn so I'm not sure how well I'm gonna articulate this lol

basically. fake it til you make it. if you want to be kinder or more patient, act as if you already are someone who is kind and patient.

it doesn't work overnight of course, it takes time to change yourself, and this also applies to changing in general like if you want to develop a specific type of humour or something. I've had some people hear this advice and tell me they don't want to pretend to be someone they're not, and that is a good thing, but that's sort of how you change, at least how I've been doing it. there's passive change that just kind of happens to you, but I consider this more active change, like if you were to start working out and eating healthy, that's an example of active change.

I wanted to become kinder because I realized looking back I was actually pretty toxic and not a great friend. I'm still not always a great friend in some areas. but I'm trying to behave as if I already possess these qualities. I just started acting like how I think I would if I was a kinder person. pretending that I already was that guy I wanted to become. and over time I realized I was just naturally that guy now.

I don't really know how to word it other than pretend you already are the person you want to become. for a while it is probably going to be just pretending. but keep pretending anything long enough and it starts to become true.

it's hard and I still feel sometimes wanting to go back to those ways and slip into habits I had that I now know probably made the people around me miserable. but I don't want to be the person I once was. I like who I am now, for the most part. of course I'm always going to have flaws, but I really do think I'm a better person now and I'm happier with myself.

sometimes you really do just have to cosplay as a better person until it becomes who you are.

apologies if this isn't the right sub, I'm new to all of this lol. I'm the mod/owner of a new sub (r/HomesteadModpack) and I didn't get a chance while creating it to set the icon. I've tried looking around in Mod Tools but I can't find where to change it. I see options for banners and descriptions... but no icon. any help is appreciated! I'm on mobile but if I have to do this on desktop I can edit it via my laptop when I get home lol.

it wasn't enough for chicken nuggets :(

so there's a big library where I live and I'd love to actually get a library card again and start trying to read again.. I'm in my 20s though and have only sporadically used this in the past few years and never gotten a card, at least not since I was little. I also don't know if I have any currently missing books or outstanding fees or anything, I've had a legal name change so I don't know if that impacts anything they might have on file?

is there likely some way to do this online from a library website or do I have to go in person? what does a library card even do (I know it supports them because it shows people are using the services but like.. what's the purpose of having it other than a motivator maybe to go to the library more)?

I have severe anxiety so as many details as anyone can give would be amazing though I know it won't be specific to my library and probably a little different for mine vs someone else's.. I wanna get back into reading though and I would like to start maybe being at the library in general just to have a space away from home that isn't work.

just had to have a quick vent. since I'm a tech at the pharmacy I work at I know we currently have a lot of Adderall on backorder, including my dosage. I have one pill left. I cannot really function without it. now I'm stuck wondering if I take my pill tomorrow and hope it's in the next day or save it for my shift after tomorrow where I might need it more since it's longer.

I guess I'm lucky enough to at least have that warning rather than taking my last pill and learning oh shit, this can't be filled right now, but it still fucking sucks ass. I hate not being on it because I can barely function and skipping any of my meds triggers a migraine, even ones unrelated to that condition. I really wish I could be one of those people that doesn't need my Adderall every single day but any time I've tried to be that person it has failed miserably.

wish me luck I guess? I'm going to suffer greatly until it's filled unless somehow by a miracle we can fill it tomorrow or the day after in which case I can pick it up at work and take it then (it'd be in the afternoon when we do CII's but better late than never). fuck my stupid chud adhd life. just had to put this out there where I know there'd be people who understand it ToT

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disclaimer this is moreso for my sister than myself, I know roughly what works for me but am trying to help her. if it matters, she is trans (mtf) and overweight which means she runs hot and sweats a lot, no medical transition yet so think male biology I guess, but I will still be referring to her as a woman. (adding this only because her biology is a relevant fact here, otherwise I wouldn't mention it lol)

I was talking to her about getting some clinical strength antiperspirant since that worked for me, but we realized she doesn't actually have antiperspirant, just deodorant (antiperspirant stops sweating, deodorant just handles the smell, if you didn't know. most antiperspirants are also deodorant but not all deodorants are antiperspirant)

I already looked up some things and found that it will help if in addition to this she uses it at night and washes it off in the morning, etc etc, but the thing that's tricky is she can't use any white stuff. I asked if it was a specific consistency but she said just anything white rips her hair so we're sticking to gel stuff, preferably blue/green type things. don't really care about scents as long as it's nothing that will irritate her skin, whole family has very sensitive skin and she in particular is prone to heat boils especially in her pits. I would prefer probably stuff marketed as for men as I find it's usually stronger than women's stuff, but really anything works, she doesn't care what gender it's marketed as lol.

I'm also gonna get her some dude wipe-type wipes and try to teach her to shave her pits, when they're calmer since she has a bit of a boil starting now, since that has definitely helped me. and we're trying to get her to shower more often. I don't need advice on general pit hygiene, just recommendations for antiperspirants or brands that will be effective at reducing her sweat but not irritate her skin. thanks for any help!