u/CYSYS8992

When I was in middle school, there was this girl I was interested in. We'll hereinafter name her "Sophia". I first discovered her while looking through the art section of the then last year's yearbook, and was totally blown away on how well she drew Sakura Haruno in a sailor school uniform. So I wanted to meet her in person, and try to impress her with my own art before she graduated.

And that pic of Sakura wasn't the only testimony of her artistry I've seen from her. I've also seen her drawing of Ray Kon from Beyblade and Goku, and I've also seen one pic in the hallway of a schoolgirl (she wasn't Kagome) and Inuyasha sitting on the grass, and on either side was the schoolgirl hugging him while he sheds a tear, and Inuyasha holding a pendant (to my best memory). And one time during 7th grade class, our teacher showed a past school project made by Sophia, another testimony of her artistry. It seemed she was the best artist of the school while she was attending.

Come to think of it, we had quite much in common. We were both into anime, loved movies, and similar personality traits. As if she was a loose female counterpart of mine.

Fast forward 3 years later: Much to my amazement, I discover that Sophie attends the same Japanese class as me. And then it happened: During break period, when I walked over to just simply introduce myself and get along with her, this girl next to her (hereinafter named "Claire"), pulled out a lighter, coldly berating me with words concentrated in venom that I don't quite recall except the last part where she told me to go back to my seat. Note that I literally never met this girl in my life, let alone have any prior conflicts. Yet all I apparently had to do was exist to make me no better than an animal abuser.

If you think being threatened serious bodily harm like that over a complete stranger is the worst part, it gets better: When I addressed this matter to Sophia about Claire's borderline hostile and threatening behavior, you know what she said about it?

>!"She's been my best friend since Kindergarten (...) she's not usually like that (...) maybe you were just unlucky (...) she's really tough, but that's what I like about her because she's my polar opposite"!<

That's right. You're not tripping. You read that shit correctly. Claire threatened bodily harm literally right in front of Sophie and she STILL CONSIDERS HER HER BFF AFTERWARDS. Not only that, she actually blames ME for it instead, as if I'm expected to believe that her hostile behavior was just some random instance of character derailment that just happened at the wrong place at the wrong time. So, if someone murders a single person, the murder victim is "unlucky" because the murderer never murdered anyone else and doesn't usually murder others? Just a coincidental out-of-character moment which no one has the right to judge? That was victim blaming. Straight-up. No questions asked.

Also Claire is just tough? Oh, I'm sorry, what a total misunderstanding. I didn't realize being threatened to be incinerated alive by some random girl in class is just an accepted part of her personality. Who am I to judge? /s

I've also observed Claire's behavior and she's the complete opposite to everyone else. To me, a vicious tiger. To everyone else, a playful kitten. Which only cements the idea that her so-called "tough" behavior was indeed personal and apparently just a coincidental instance of character derailment that's somehow absolutely my fault. I've even seen Sophie's Facebook and they're practically like sisters, even establishing Claire as one.

Remember: Claire didn't even have to manipulate Sophie. She was already aware of her "tough" behavior to begin with yet STILL thinks there's nothing wrong with her and just a misunderstood young lady at worst. Despite (or more likely BECAUSE of) Claire threatening a violent crime, Sophie still keeps her on her highest pedestal. If anything, the pedestal seems to have grown even HIGHER.

Let me assure you, EVERYTHING in this post is all true, like I was testifying in court.

So here I am now, still overthinking that Claire's hostility is somehow my fault; that I was the one with some magic invisible aura around me that instantly turns even the nicest people into asshole incarnates. Being threatened was one thing. Sophie blaming me for it while she doesn't even give Claire so much as a slap on the wrist simply because she's her childhood BFF was another.

Now keep in mind, that incident happened in high school, when we were all teenagers still undergoing puberty and not exactly have an established moral code, but that's still no excuse for what Claire did to me. As of now they're both women in their 30s and for all I know could already be mothers. Maybe Sophia wised up at some point and realized what kind of monster she was enabling and cut her off for good, or Claire herself turned over a new leaf, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Now here's a question I'd like to ask: What would you do in this situation, if you had a childhood BFF who suddenly threatened bodily harm on someone they literally never met in their lives, literally right in front of you? Would YOU let them off the hook without question and expect everyone else to do the same simply because they're your best friend?

Growing up, we were always taught about accountability; accepting responsibility for our actions. But never were we taught that some people would actually misuse this moral lesson just for their personal satisfation, under the misled idea that just because you're blamed, criticized, etc. you absolutely MUST accept it without question point-blank, no questions asked, because it's apparently "right" and being "mature" and ultimately so you change for the "better", and treat every single negative thing said about you as objective court testimonies in which you must acknowledge that you have no right to question and THEY had every absolute right to have those negative feelings towards you. It's not "guilty until proven innocent". It's "guilty period, point-blank, end of discussion, good day".

Whenever someone wrongs you in some way and you talk about it, you get questioned on your own behavior instead. Or you get slapped with responses starting with "To be fair..." or "You should've...". Or even get accused of playing the victim or having a "victim mentality" because the drama you just got dragged in is 1000% your fault yet you still had the gall to play the victim card anyway. Any response out of you that isn't accepting the deflected blame without question is being "defensive" and/or "making excuses", stacking even MORE things you need to feel guilty about and "change" yourself over. It's ALWAYS your fault. NEVER theirs. NEVER anyone else's.

So now you're stuck in a dilemma: Accept the alleged blame, or risk having it deflected back at you tenfold.

Ask yourself: Are you taking accountability because it's "right"? Or more because you don't have a choice?

Which of you had someone not only berate you, put you down, criticize you into oblivion, etc., but was expected to acknowledge their actions were just their own way to correct you and make you change for the better (theirs, that is) and be grateful about it because they claim they only want what's best for you or some shit?

And you'd get called "defensive" or even be ironically called a narcissist yourself if you do anything other than that without question, because you had the gall to reject their absolutely perfect and indisputable wisdom and teachings disgused as mean words that are apparently for your own good (As if that's automatically going to justify themselves entirely), then criticize you even further. You shut up and accept their words without question and acknowledge that you're objectively an unworthy piece of shit not because it's "right" and "mature", but because you don't have much of a choice.

E.x. They might say something similar to "I know that the stuff I say hurt, but I'm only telling you them for your own good so you change for the better"

Since absolutely everything is 1000% my fault.

It's always my fault. Never anyone else's. It's a sworn lifetime oath and an apex rule of life that I must abide by without question to accepting without question that everyone but me is absolutely perfect and absolutely justified in everything they do; that anything negative, any sort of criticism I'm subject to is all true, facts, and, quite frankly, for my own good, which I have no right to question. I'll never change for the better otherwise.

I concede.

I may be dealing with a potentially toxic coworker. Every time I try to address her, she responds with just a flat "what", and when I said "See you tomorrow" she just said a split-second "bye", as if she hates my presence and wants me fired. Yet she's really playful with other workers. I find it hard not to take this cold attitude of hers personally if it's only directed at me alone and nobody else.

When I was in middle school, there was this girl I was interested in. We'll hereinafter name her "Sophia". I first discovered her while looking through the art section of the then last year's yearbook, and was totally blown away on how well she drew Sakura Haruno in a sailor school uniform. So I wanted to meet her in person, and try to impress her with my own art before she graduated.

And that pic of Sakura wasn't the only testimony of her artistry I've seen from her. I've also seen her drawing of Ray Kon from Beyblade and Goku, and I've also seen one pic in the hallway of a schoolgirl (she wasn't Kagome) and Inuyasha sitting on the grass, and on either side was the schoolgirl hugging him while he sheds a tear, and Inuyasha holding a pendant (to my best memory). And one time during 7th grade class, our teacher showed a past school project made by Sophia, another testimony of her artistry. It seemed she was the best artist of the school while she was attending.

Come to think of it, we had quite much in common. We were both into anime, loved movies, and similar personality traits. As if she was a loose female counterpart of mine.

Fast forward 3 years later: Much to my amazement, I discover that Sophie attends the same Japanese class as me. And then it happened: During break period, when I walked over to just simply introduce myself and get along with her, this girl next to her (hereinafter named "Claire"), pulled out a lighter, coldly berating me with words concentrated in venom that I don't quite recall except the last part where she told me to go back to my seat. Note that I literally never met this girl in my life, let alone have any prior conflicts. Yet all I apparently had to do was exist to make me no better than an animal abuser.

If you think being threatened serious bodily harm like that over a complete stranger is the worst part, it gets better: When I addressed this matter to Sophia about Claire's borderline hostile and threatening behavior, you know what she said about it?

>!"She's been my best friend since Kindergarten (...) she's not usually like that (...) maybe you were just unlucky (...) she's really tough, but that's what I like about her because she's my polar opposite"!<

That's right. You're not tripping. You read that shit correctly. Claire threatened bodily harm literally right in front of Sophie and she STILL CONSIDERS HER HER BFF AFTERWARDS. Not only that, she actually blames ME for it instead, as if I'm expected to believe that her hostile behavior was just some random instance of character derailment that just happened at the wrong place at the wrong time. So, if someone murders a single person, the murder victim is "unlucky" because the murderer never murdered anyone else and doesn't usually murder others? Just a coincidental out-of-character moment which no one has the right to judge? That was victim blaming. Straight-up. No questions asked.

Also Claire is just tough? Oh, I'm sorry, what a total misunderstanding. I didn't realize being threatened to be incinerated alive by some random girl in class is just an accepted part of her personality. Who am I to judge? /s

I've also observed Claire's behavior and she's the complete opposite to everyone else. To me, a vicious tiger. To everyone else, a playful kitten. Which only cements the idea that her so-called "tough" behavior was indeed personal and apparently just a coincidental instance of character derailment that's somehow absolutely my fault. I've even seen Sophie's Facebook and they're practically like sisters, even establishing Claire as one.

Remember: Claire didn't even have to manipulate Sophie. She was already aware of her "tough" behavior to begin with yet STILL thinks there's nothing wrong with her and just a misunderstood young lady at worst. Despite (or more likely BECAUSE of) Claire threatening a violent crime, Sophie still keeps her on her highest pedestal. If anything, the pedestal seems to have grown even HIGHER.

Let me assure you, EVERYTHING in this post is all true, like I was testifying in court.

So here I am now, still overthinking that Claire's hostility is somehow my fault; that I was the one with some magic invisible aura around me that instantly turns even the nicest people into asshole incarnates. Being threatened was one thing. Sophie blaming me for it while she doesn't even give Claire so much as a slap on the wrist simply because she's her childhood BFF was another.

Now keep in mind, that incident happened in high school, when we were all teenagers still undergoing puberty and not exactly have an established moral code, but that's still no excuse for what Claire did to me. As of now they're both women in their 30s and for all I know could already be mothers. Maybe Sophia wised up at some point and realized what kind of monster she was enabling and cut her off for good, or Claire herself turned over a new leaf, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Now here's a question I'd like to ask: What would you do in this situation, if you had a childhood BFF who suddenly threatened bodily harm on someone they literally never met in their lives, literally right in front of you?

Here's why:

While riding the bus back home, a kid carrying his bike bumped into an old lady behind him by accident while boarding at a stop. The Karen then proceeded to berate him along with her husband and even pounded him on his fucking shoulder and things just escalated from there.

I called her out on her unneccesarily aggressive behavior and she and her husband started berating me, telling me shit like it's none of my business and other stuffed that pissed me off. They're lucky that I was getting off on the next stop, otherwise I would've called the cops on them. (And besides, the bus driver himself advised against it) I called her a Karen as I got off and flipped her and her enabling husband the double bird as the bus drove away.

Yet we're still expected to "respect [our] elders"? Not on your fucking life.

Shout out to that Indian girl who called them assholes after we got off.

EDIT: I knew you were going to blame me for this. When ISN'T it 1000% my fault whenever I get involved in some negative event?