u/CherryAmber__

Tl;dr (22F) I feel like I can’t trust a man for too long. I always feel like he’s eventually going to cheat or change somehow. Is this because of past trauma, or is it actually true? I’ve seen a lot of men who used to treat their partners amazingly and give them everything, but years later they changed completely.
Have any of y’all had a genuinely good man by your side who eventually betrayed you or changed? I’m curious to hear other people’s experiences because sometimes I wonder if this happens in most relationships or if my fears are just affecting the way I see things.

Tl;dr Me (22F) and him (23M), what bothers me that he already knows what he did wrong, he knows exactly when I’m hurt and angry about something.
Instead of fixing it immediately, he just ask things like “is something wrong” , “do u want me to do anything to fix it” , “are u angry?” over and over.

One situation that really frustrated me was when he was talking about a girl he followed. I asked him why he didn’t just unfollow her if she meant nothing to him. He said he didn’t care about her and that she wasn’t important.

Then he noticed I was upset and kept asking things like, “Are you okay?” “Are you mad about this girl or just sleepy?” “Just tell me if you want me to unfollow her and I’ll do it”

What bothered me is that he could clearly see what the issue was. If he truly didn’t care about her and knew it was hurting me, why wait for me to tell him exactly what to do? Why not do it on his own?

Instead, he kept asking me to confirm it over and over. I stayed quiet because I wanted to see whether he would unfollow her by himself after realizing how much it was affecting me. He never did.

This isn’t really about one girl anymore. It’s about feeling like he waits for me to reach my breaking point before taking action. I feel like I always have to be the one pushing, explaining, setting limits, and repeating myself.

Tl;DR Im 22F and my bf is 23M, when we started dating, it was only a few weeks after he broke up with his ex. During the talking stage, he often spoke badly about her, saying she was toxic and that she had cheated on him multiple times.

Early on, he even asked to take a photo of us so he could post it, mainly so his ex would see it and get jealous. It worked—she saw the post and started contacting him again, trying to get back with him.
He didn’t set clear boundaries with her. Instead, he continued communicating and, in a way, kept giving her hope. This made me very uncomfortable, and I told him multiple times to block her. He did, but she kept finding ways to contact him, and he eventually unblocked her again.

At one point, she directly asked him to meet up, and he even considered it and tried to ask for my permission to go. I didn’t understand why he needed to meet her at all, especially since she was clearly a trying to get back with him.I broke up with him and told him to go back to her, because I felt just like a rebound.

After that, he claimed he blocked her, although I didn’t fully trust that. He also made promises and tried to reassure me, so we eventually got back together. But over time, his behavior his behavior became inconsistent. He didn’t put effort into my birthday, we went long periods without dates, and he often prioritized his friends over me. He also became distant at times—sometimes not calling me until late, and other times being overly affectionate, which made things feel unstable for me. And i have this gut feeling telling me he was cheating on me with her.

Later, he unblocked her. She again suggested meeting up, very directly, and he seemed to justify it by saying she still wasn’t over him, also was as usual very friendly and no boundary. I broke up with him again and my trust was completely broken.

He begged me to come back, and we got back together again. Right now, he treats me well in many ways, he is kind, takes me on dates, and can be very sweet. He also says that I changed him for the better, that his “past mistakes” are behind him, and that he sees me as the person he wants forever
but I still don’t trust him when it comes to other girls.

+ he has history of long relationships(probably cheated on all of them not sure about that) and has dated many people before. He also follows a LOT of girls on social media, many of whom post revealing content. When I ask him to unfollow some of them, he often refuses and makes excuses, saying he knows them or talked to them in the past.

He also tends to stare at girls in public, ask a lot of questions about them, always curious about them, and show strong interest in how they look or where they are from. It makes me uncomfortable and feels disrespectful at times. I’m lost in this relationship and idk if i should stay or leave.