I am into home renovations/maintainance, and I feel like I need to have all Dewalt brand tools. I think this comes from watching home renovation shows and seeing that is this is the brand that often got used on the show. I'm not sure if this is an autism related thing?

Is it to avoid the client forming any thoughts, beliefs, feelings, opinions, etc about the therapist?

Like for example, a therapist might say that they took their dog for a walk over the weekend during some sort of inital small talk at the beginning of a session. But like what if I'm a client who is coming to therapy because I have trauma from a past dog bite and I don't like dogs? Maybe disclosing that they took their dog for a walk (sometime that seems pretty benign on the surface) might actually be damaging the theraputic relationship.

You truly never know what a client might have been through or what might trigger something negative. So out of caution or to avoid this, they try to remain a blank slate.

My therapist told me that they have a motor home and travel during the summer. Maybe if I were someone who was in a really desperate financial situation, I might feel jealous or envious that she has the means to do these things and I don't. Maybe it would even make me choose to stop seeing her. Maybe she should not have disclosed that?

This happened a few years ago, but it's always bothered me.

I had a phone appointment with my therapist that I thought was going to be a normal session. Instead, within the first five minutes, she told me it would be our last session because she was specializing in sex therapy and wouldn't be seeing me anymore. She already had the termination letter prepared, and it was emailed to me seconds after telling me.

I understand therapists can change their practice or decide they aren't the right fit. That's not really the part I'm struggling with.

What I'm struggling with is that I paid around $150 for what I thought was going to be a therapy session, but it became a termination meeting almost immediately.

After she told me, my first thought was honestly, "Well... what's the point now?" There didn't seem to be any point in continuing to work through the issues I'd come to discuss because she had already decided she wasn't going to be my therapist anymore. The therapeutic relationship had effectively ended within the first few minutes of the appointment.

I ended up ending the phone call early because, from my perspective, there just wasn't anything meaningful left to accomplish. It honestly felt like my money had been wasted. If the decision had already been made before the session, I almost would have preferred to receive an email or phone call beforehand rather than paying for an appointment that I never really had.

I also think therapy is supposed to be a space where you can show up expecting to work on yourself. I don't want to feel like I have to wonder whether I'm about to be blindsided by something that's already been decided behind the scenes. For me, that took away some of the sense of safety that therapy is supposed to provide.

They were generally reluctant to give them.

Is this normal?

In the dream I was in palliative care. I knew I only had maybe a week or so left to live. What hit me wasn't that I was dying. It was realizing I'd gone through my entire life as a man and never transitioned.

At one point someone came into my room. I don't remember if she was a nurse, a care aide, or some other staff member, but she was a trans woman, probably in her 20s or 30s.

Just seeing her made everything hit me at once.

The feeling wasn't jealousy. It was just this overwhelming regret that I'd waited too long. Like I'd always thought there would be more time, and suddenly there wasn't. I never got the chance to know what it would've been like to actually live as me.

I woke up feeling genuinely shaken. It was one of those dreams that felt less like random nonsense and more like my brain forcing me to confront one of my biggest fears.

Has anyone else ever had a dream like this that stayed with you long after you woke up?

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I think I'm starting to realize that what actually helps me isn't traditional therapy so much as regular peer support.

I used to call an autism peer support line almost every day. The people answering weren't therapists or counselors. They were just peer support workers with autism themselves. There wasn't really an expert/client dynamic, it just felt like talking to another person who genuinely understood.

Honestly, I found that way more helpful than therapy.

Unfortunately, they've changed the program now so you're only allowed to call once a week. I understand why they probably had to do it, but I've really noticed the gap it's left.

It's made me realize that I don't think what I'm missing is clinical expertise. I think I'm missing consistent human connection. I'd honestly rather have someone I could talk to every day or every couple of days than see a therapist once a week. Even once a week is considered pretty frequent for therapy, and a lot of people go every couple of weeks or even monthly.

Has anyone else come to the same realization? Does anyone know of any services that are more like ongoing peer support than traditional counseling? I'd really appreciate any suggestions.

I don't even know what I'm looking for anymore. I just know I miss feeling connected to someone.

I don't just mean having people around. I mean having someone you can say good morning to, tell them about your day, laugh about something random, send a picture of your coffee, complain about work, hear about their day, and just slowly become part of each other's everyday life.

Instead, I feel like most of my conversations are either transactional or stay on the surface. "How was work?" "Fine." "What did you do today?" "Worked." That's about where they end.

I have autism, and making close friendships has always been incredibly hard. I can meet people, but getting from "we've talked" to "we genuinely know each other" almost never seems to happen. It feels like everyone else already has their people, and I'm always standing just outside the circle.

It's been like this for so long that it's starting to feel less like a rough patch and more like my normal. That's the part that scares me.

I don't need dozens of friends. I just want one person where talking to each other every day feels natural instead of forced.

Has anyone else felt like this? If you did, did anything actually help?

I want to get it because my father likes seeing what's on TV when he comes to my house. He is elderly, not tech-savvy. He needs something where he can press the power button on the remote and start flipping through the channels without any BS (no signing into any subscription service or anything like that.)

Even something super bare bones basic would do. I'm on the western avalon in case that matters.

I have level 1 ASD. I'm 32 y/o transwoman.

Right now my social and emotional needs are not being met. I want someone I can text good morning to, ask them about their day, keep in touch regularly. Someone I can bond with over time.

If you would be interested in providing this kind of mutual support (I promise to do my part too), my dms are open :)

Mainly for social reasons. I've been in many different workplaces over the years. As for in person workplaces, I'm not someone who can navigate the social side of a workplace well. The different colleagues and their personalities. The small talk. The office Karens. People trying to get other people fired. Knowing who has informal power. The mandatory fun. Who likes who and who doesn't like who. Pecking orders.

I just don't care about the above mentioned things. It's so exhausting to be part of these environments.

I have a work from home job as a second source of income and it's so much better.

I'm autistic, and I've been wondering how much conventional attractiveness changes people's experience of autism.

Do you think "pretty privilege" makes it easier to make friends, get support, be forgiven for social mistakes, or generally navigate life as an autistic person? Or does it not make much difference?

I'd be interested to hear from people who feel they've experienced both sides of this, or who have noticed it in others.

I have autism and there are periods of burnout where I feel like I would benefit from accessing LTD through my employer.

I understand that my LTD claim would likely be rejected if I don't have any documentation showing that I'm in treatment. Insurers often want to see documentation and if there is not any, then that can be used as something to point at to deny a claim.

I have long-term disability coverage through my employer, but if I ever end up applying, it would likely be because of autism, burnout, and related mental health issues rather than a physical condition.

Right now I'm seeing my family doctor and I've recently started seeing a therapist. My understanding, though, is that LTD insurers often want a significant amount of medical evidence, and even then claims can still be denied.

I'm trying to be proactive rather than waiting until I'm in crisis. For those of you who've been through the process, what kind of documentation or medical evidence was most important?

Besides my family doctor and therapist, are there other practitioners I should consider seeing? Are there particular assessments, reports, or records that carry a lot of weight with insurers?

Basically, I'm trying to avoid finding out after taking leave that my claim was weak because I didn't have enough evidence or the "right" kind of documentation. I'd really appreciate hearing what helped your claim, or what you wish you'd done before applying.

Or is the only option to go through NL health services?

I'm curious what the norm is here.

I know every therapist is different, but roughly how many sessions does it usually take before a therapist feels they know a client well enough to write documentation, whether that's a letter of support, paperwork for short-term or long-term disability, workplace accommodations, or something similar?

I'm not asking because I need a letter right now. I'm just wondering how therapists generally approach this. Is it something that might happen after a handful of sessions, or do most therapists want to have worked with someone for several months first?

I'd be interested in hearing from both therapists and clients about what your experience has been.

Should I transition?

Body:

I'm in my early 30s and have been questioning my gender for a long time. Over the last couple of years, the feelings have become much stronger instead of fading away.

I experience gender dysphoria pretty regularly. I often wish I had been born female, and I've found myself wanting to present in a more feminine way. I've started laser hair removal on my face, I've experimented privately with feminine clothing, and I've noticed that these things generally make me feel happier and more comfortable with myself rather than feeling like a temporary novelty.

There are also practical concerns. I have significant hair loss, and I know I'd probably want a hair transplant eventually. Transition feels like a huge commitment financially, socially, and emotionally. Part of me wonders whether I'm just chasing an impossible idea of happiness, while another part thinks I'll regret it if I never try.

One thing that makes me think these feelings are genuine is that they don't seem to be going away. If anything, they're becoming more persistent over time. I find myself imagining what life would be like if I could simply exist as a woman without having to explain or defend myself.

For those who have transitioned, or decided not to, how did you know? Was there a point where the uncertainty became clear enough to make a decision? Looking back, what do you wish someone had told you before you made that choice?

I'm looking for honest advice from people who've actually been through something similar, whether your answer was ultimately yes or no.

Like a permanent staff member, not just a sub or someone who is only there short term.

My social skills are not great. I am not the best at reading the room or picking up on things like who has tension with who or social dynamics in general.

My therapist told me that having at least one person on staff that you can talk to or feel closer to would make things a lot less isolating. Someone retired a few months ago and their replacement and I seem to be getting along well. But they only started recently.

This is a building with lots of staff who have been there over 10, 15, and in some cases even 20 years. Not just in the district, but in the same school.

How did they manage socially?