u/ConflictFearless538

So I (18M) recently figured out I was bi. my only problem is that I have an extreme preference towards women. Like 99.9-0.1. So often times it makes me feel as if I'm not really bi. I see people, mostly pans but also other bi, who don't have a preference and can go with legitimately anyone and here I am being unwilling to date a guy unless they're ultra specifically my type. Other than one gay star I really like I can't get off to gay stuff which makes me feel even worse I keep on trying to watch gay stuff I'm not into to gaslight myself into thinking I'm still bi and it just makes me feel awful when I can't get off to it. I feel as though I'm not a real bi sometimes which sucks because I have a huge crush on this male classmate and anytime I think about him part of me is sometimes like "but ur not gay you shouldn't have these feelings". Like I know that I'm technically bi but sometimes I feel as though I don't deserve the title/label.

So for context for my summer job I (18M) worked at a summer camp that takes kids 6-13 and I run one of the activities so I get all the ages groups (the kids are separated by gender and grade). I wear a necklace with pride flag on it.

The elementary aged kids are sweet and either don't know what it is and ask and I explain it to them as tastefully and innocently as humanely possible or have seen it and are really cute about it (idk how to describe it but they're like awe-stricken by seeing a real queer person like seeing a mythical creature) and either way they don't care and go on with their day.

But the middle school age kids (mostly boys) are such assholes towards me, it got to a point where I stopped wearing it in front of them because anytime they see me interacting with anyone male they get in the way and try and make it sexual. One even called me the slur that sounds like forgot but thankfully he was punished (a stern talking to).

But what's even weirder is that once they enter high school they just stop being homophobic??? At my work I'd say 80% of the work force are high school volunteers and they don't care. Like at most they'd ask if I was queer, I'd say yes, and they'd just say ok cool and move on with their day (with the sole exception of one guy but he got fired for hating everyone, he was basically neo Nazi and they found a bunch of his old posts).

My work isn't the only experience I have with middle school kids, as a former middle school student myself I can testify my own middle school experience and it's awful. I have two stories I tell when someone asks about my middle school experience. The first is when a couple of wannabe Nazi students went into the "gay" teacher's room (he was just an ally and his crime was wanting to hang a pride flag in the main hallway which contained a flag from every country) and threw metal water bottles at him while yelling HH and doing the salute, resulting in him quitting the school which sucks because I really liked him (shoutout to all male history teachers). The other story is when a 200 signature petition was handed to the principal requesting that 2 male students who were dating should be expelled because they were dating each other. Resulting in an assembly about inclusion and every time our principal mentioned queer people everyone would start booing.

Another story I have is pretty recent, I was at spirit because it had just opened and I wanted to see Freddy Fazbear, also I was wearing my pride necklace that day. There were these 3 middle school aged boys acting like idiots in the furry section, which sucks cause I wanted a pair of cat paws because they were cute, one of them put on a head and asked the other's if he should wear it to school. One of them responded "no you look like a (bad word that sounds like forgot) only someone gay would wear that" and I got in the way of them to grab the paws because they were there for a while and I got impatient and they just started staring like I was walking around naked and one even said "see I told you, only "that word but shortened to the first 3 letters" like wearing that stuff".
So when straight men enter 6th grade do they get a homophobic chip inside them? And does it get removed when they enter high school because the change is so drastic from 5th to 6th and from 8th to 9th

This is a part 2 of a post I made earlier but to summarize I was considering but apprehensive about coming out to my grandparents.

Anyway I did it today (Yippie 🎉 ) It was hella scary, my heart was beating out of my chest and I could barely get my words out, but I did it anyway.

The results of me coming out are very inconclusive and it's all my fault. To start, the good news is that from what I can tell they're supportive kinda probably. My grandmother said she didn't care and loves me regardless and my grandfather just ok and we moved on from the conversation (aka I left their house).

The bad news, I genuinely could not read my grandfather's reaction, my cousin told me to prepare for a somewhat negative reaction but he legit just said ok with a blank face so I can't tell how he really feels. Maybe he's supportive and it's just my anxiety talking for me. The other bad news is that they still kinda have older views of queer people. My grandmother called it "my choice" and that she was "not gonna try and stop me from living how you want to live if that's the way I wanna live". I do appreciate the support from the bottom of my heart but her calling did hurt a little because I spent a pretty long time painfully questioning my identity/sexuality and getting over internal bi/homophobia.

Like, I'm happy they're supportive and happy that they're not homophobic and stuff but they're reaction still kinda hurt a little despite the support. IDK what to feel, happy because I got the support I was looking for in them, upset that they still have outdated views or queer people. Idk man

Sorry for the yap session but please read the whole thing :P

So I (18M) have recently began coming out for a few reasons (1. confidence boost out of nowhere 2. boy crush I'm considering confessing to, so potential boyfriend in the making (he's gay so I think I have a chance :D) 3. Moving out soon so I feel I have nothing to lose by telling people). It's mostly been friends and family members I'm close with like my parents, sister, lesbian cousin, and my dad's parents whom I'm really close with and are sweet as sugar and could never hurt a fly.

But there is one person who I'm really conflicted about telling is my mom's parents. Besides my parents, my mom's parents are probably the closest family members to me, especially my grandfather. I am super close with him, and I'd say he has for the most part shaped me into the person I am today. I love and cherish him and I feel like he should know about this part of me.

The problem is, idk why, but I just FEEL like he wouldn't be accepting, idk what it is but it's like an anti-gaydar, I can kinda just tell when someone is homophobic/not accepting and he kinda gives off that kinda energy (raised in a rural area in the 50's, served in and has a long history of the army in the family, pro football coach for 40 years, very outdoorsy, fishing, hunting, ect, somewhat Christian).

I have never really asked about his political views but from what I can observe he's anti-Trump but still right leaning. I have never heard him say anything about the LGBTQ except for a few jokes/remarks but I think I'm making that part up. I asked my lesbian cousin about it and while she's not formally out but they were able to piece it together when she got a gf. She says that most likely he "might not get it" but he would "maybe try and understand. he does his best with me" but idk what that means. The problem is that I am infinitely closer to my grandfather than she is. I visit once a week and she visits once a year if she is lucky so IDK if they tolerate her everyday or just the days she visits.

IDK what to do because I feel both extremely comfortable telling him but also not at all. He says I can tell him about anything but I don't believe those words 100%. What should I do. There are 4 routes I can see this going. Route 1: I decide to say nothing, they find out eventually when I'm not comfortable with them finding out and have a good or bad reaction. Route 2, I tell them and have a good reaction(yippie but unlikely) Route 3, I tell them and they have a bad reaction (it will hurt a lot but at least I don't have to see them again and can cut contact after moving) Route 4, I say nothing and they go their whole life without finding out and then when they pass on I will prob regret not telling them.

I really really like you, your smile, your warmth, your kindness is everything to me. Everyday I imagine fantasies of us enjoying each other’s company and happiness. Cuddling up in a cold night or comforting each other when one gets sick. My feelings for you get overwhelming sometimes.
But I know that’s not how you feel, I can’t prove it and if I did it would ruin everything. I can’t risk losing one of my four real friends. I want to tell you, but I know that if you rejected me it would be hell for me to just cast aside all those feelings I have.
Even if you did share the same feelings, I would still hate myself, I feel as though loving me would be an inconvenience, I’m not good looking, in fact I’d say I’m ugly af and I don’t want you to date someone as ugly as me. You are so beautiful that you could probably get any guy in the world so why should you ever choose me.
No matter what option I choose it will hurt both of us. If I say nothing I will have to live everyday with these overwhelming feelings of love, if I say something and get rejected I lose 1/4th of my friends and all the connections I have made from her, if I say something and she accepts I would feel guilty about it. What do I do? What do I do? It hurts so much

So for context, I (18M) found out very recently that I am bi. So I recently reconnected with an old friend from elementary that I also went to high school with but not middle school (this is the important part) and will be going to college with but never really talked to her (developed a huge crush on her and was always to flustered to speak T_T but I got some confidence up to ask to reconnect). So we were talking about our middle school experience and I made a joke about how I was glad I found out I was bi after middle school because my middle school was awful towards queer people (examples include a 200 signed petition to remove a gay student purely because he was gay being sent to the principal, and a teacher being horrible assaulted with metal water bottles by a group of neo Nazi students for wanting to put up a pride flag in our "hall of flags" which was just a hallway with every country flag). I feel kinda bad for making these jokes at the expense of the kids at that middle school who suffered. IDK I just kinda feel bad and wanted to vent/repent about it

I have posted this to many other subs and have gotten no response and y'all are my last resort (help plz)

So I (18M) am planning on hanging out with my crush soon. I used to be really close to her in elementary school and didn't really talk to her much in high school (crush to big to speak to her) but we are going to the same college so I braved it and we began hanging out to get to know each other because we are one of few people we know going to the same college. But anyway, I wanna start dropping hints that I like her. My main one I am going to say will go something like "you know I used to have a pretty big crush on you in elementary school". But I feel like the conversation will turn and I will be forced to play my hand (I don't want to, it's too early) or the hint will be too obvious and would basically like confessing. She's really nice, We have almost identical interests and I really like her. IDK what to do because if I do lose her I am losing the one familiar person I know going to college and a really good almost life long friend. It's weighing on me really hard and would like to hear some input from others.

So I (18M) am planning on hanging out with my crush soon. I used to be really close to her in elementary school and didn't really talk to her much in high school (crush to big to speak to her) but we are going to the same college so I braved it and we began hanging out to get to know each other because we are one of few people we know going to the same college. But anyway, I wanna start dropping hints that I like her. My main one I am going to say will go something like "you know I used to have a pretty big crush on you in elementary school". But I feel like the conversation will turn and I will be forced to play my hand (I don't want to, it's too early) or the hint will be too obvious and would basically like confessing. She's really nice, We have almost identical interests and I really like her. IDK what to do because if I do lose her I am losing the one familiar person I know going to college and a really good almost life long friend. It's weighing on me really hard and would like to hear some input from others.

I (18M) after months of research came to the conclusion that I am part of the bi micro label known as gynesexual (attraction to femineity regardless of sex/gender). It's nice to know exactly who I am and what I like but the problem is femboys, they are really attractive to me because of their femineity. But from what I heard they do not like to be seen this way and I feel really bad for being attracted to them. Is it ok for me to have these attractions or is it wrong. Like it's almost a fetish, I constantly find myself jerking off to femboys almost as frequently as women/straight stuff. IDK I just feel bad and want to hear other people's input

Let's start with the full story. Ever since I was very young, I had a crush on this girl, we talked a lot in elementary and we were pretty good friends, I later found out after high school when I was being "bullied" (long story and too complex to talk about rn) by my 2nd grade teacher she was one of the first to speak out about it resulting in me getting the help I needed.

So yeah she's really nice and I have always had a crush on her but so did everyone else in my friend group so I felt weird telling her because I thought I was going to be more annoying than anything and looking back I was a weird and strange kid back then (this will be important later trust).

We parted ways for middle school but reunited at high school. When I tell you she had a glow up she had a glow up, she was so beautiful I would immediately look away flustered any time I saw her. In my entire high school career, I talked to her a total of 2 times, once when we first met and it was very awkward to say the least and the second time was junior year when we were seated next to each other for a week in AP environmental science class and I helped her out on an assignment. My dad is a teacher at my high school and likes to talk about me so one time during one of these conversations she apparently complimented me on my knowledge of the topic. (at least she's friendly towards me and sees me in a positive light)

Now, we have both graduated but we are both going to the same college so very recently we have been talking about it but nothing beyond just college talk like what major, what dorm, orientation stuff, ect. I did invite her to go see The End of Evangelion in theaters but she has not seen the original anime so I decided to back out. I don't know anything about her other than that she likes anime and cosplay based on her one social media post. I would like to get to know her a little better but despite how long I have known her I feel like a stranger to her and she's a stranger to me so it's hard for me to initiate especially with how flustered and awkward I get with her.

Recently, I have been feeling a deep yearning to love someone and for someone to love me back like a super deep desire to date someone and love them and all that stuff,. she is one of two people I have set my sights on, I asked the first one out, she was a pretty close friend throughout high school and ever since our friendship has been a little shaky and I really don't want the same thing to happen to her. I don't want to lose the only person I know when jumping into this new and unknown place. Also, I want to apologize + thank her for being such a good friend to me and giving nothing in return, idk why I just feel really guilty for being so weird as a kid and she has done a lot for me when I was a kid and her helping me a lot and not even thanking her. What should I do, I highly doubt she has similar feelings me due to our lack of interaction, hell I don't even know if she's into guys that's how little I know her.

So once again, what do I do? Do I try and get to know her better? Do I just confess right here right now? Do I stay silent and keep the familiar bond we already have? I'm just so lost rn

Let's start with the full story. Ever since I was very young, I had a crush on this girl, we talked a lot in elementary and we were pretty good friends, I later found out after high school when I was being "bullied" (long story and too complex to talk about rn) by my 2nd grade teacher she was one of the first to speak out about it resulting in me getting the help I needed.

So yeah she's really nice and I have always had a crush on her but so did everyone else in my friend group so I felt weird telling her because I thought I was going to be more annoying than anything and looking back I was a weird and strange kid back then (this will be important later trust).

We parted ways for middle school but reunited at high school. When I tell you she had a glow up she had a glow up, she was so beautiful I would immediately look away flustered any time I saw her. In my entire high school career, I talked to her a total of 2 times, once when we first met and it was very awkward to say the least and the second time was junior year when we were seated next to each other for a week in AP environmental science class and I helped her out on an assignment. My dad is a teacher at my high school and likes to talk about me so one time during one of these conversations she apparently complimented me on my knowledge of the topic. (at least she's friendly towards me and sees me in a positive light)

Now, we have both graduated but we are both going to the same college so very recently we have been talking about it but nothing beyond just college talk like what major, what dorm, orientation stuff, ect. I did invite her to go see The End of Evangelion in theaters but she has not seen the original anime so I decided to back out. I don't know anything about her other than that she likes anime and cosplay based on her one social media post. I would like to get to know her a little better but despite how long I have known her I feel like a stranger to her and she's a stranger to me so it's hard for me to initiate especially with how flustered and awkward I get with her.

Recently, I have been feeling a deep yearning to love someone and for someone to love me back like a super deep desire to date someone and love them and all that stuff,. she is one of two people I have set my sights on, I asked the first one out, she was a pretty close friend throughout high school and ever since our friendship has been a little shaky and I really don't want the same thing to happen to her. I don't want to lose the only person I know when jumping into this new and unknown place. Also, I want to apologize + thank her for being such a good friend to me and giving nothing in return, idk why I just feel really guilty for being so weird as a kid and she has done a lot for me when I was a kid and her helping me a lot and not even thanking her. What should I do, I highly doubt she has similar feelings me due to our lack of interaction, hell I don't even know if she's into guys that's how little I know her.

So once again, what do I do? Do I try and get to know her better? Do I just confess right here right now? Do I stay silent and keep the familiar bond we already have? I'm just so lost rn

Let's start with the full story. Ever since I was very young, I had a crush on this girl, we talked a lot in elementary and we were pretty good friends, I later found out after high school when I was being "bullied" (long story and too complex to talk about rn) by my 2nd grade teacher she was one of the first to speak out about it resulting in me getting the help I needed, so yeah she's really nice and I have always had a crush on her but so did everyone else in my friend group so I felt weird telling her because I thought I was going to be more annoying than anything and looking back I was a weird and strange kid back then (this will be important later trust).

We parted ways for middle school but reunited at high school. When I tell you she had a glow up she had a glow up, she was so beautiful I would immediately look away flustered any time I saw her. In my entire high school career, I talked to her a total of 2 times, once when we first met and it was very awkward to say the least and the second time was junior year when we were seated next to each other for a week in AP environmental science class and I helped her out on an assignment. My dad is a teacher at my high school and likes to talk about me so one time during one of these conversations she apparently complimented me on my knowledge of the topic.

Now, we have both graduated but we are both going to the same college so very recently we have been talking about it but nothing beyond just college talk like what major, what dorm, orientation stuff, ect. I did invite her to go see The End of Evangelion in theaters but she has not seen the original anime so I decided to back out. I don't know anything about her other than that she likes anime and cosplay based on her one social media post. I would like to get to know her a little better but despite how long I have known her I feel like a stranger to her and she's a stranger to me so it's hard for me to initiate especially with how flustered and awkward I get with her.

Recently, I have been feeling a deep yearning to love someone and for someone to love me back like a super deep desire to date someone and love them and all that stuff,. she is one of two people I have set my sights on, I asked the first one out, she was a pretty close friend throughout high school and ever since our friendship has been a little shaky and I really don't want the same thing to happen to her. I don't want to lose the only person I know when jumping into this new and unknown place. Also, I want to apologize + thank her for being such a good friend to me and giving nothing in return, idk why I just feel really guilty for being so weird as a kid and she has done a lot for me when I was a kid and her helping me a lot and not even thanking her. What should I do, I highly doubt she has similar feelings me due to our lack of interaction, hell I don't even know if she's into guys that's how little I know her.

So once again, what do I do? Do I try and get to know her better? Do I just confess right here right now? Do I stay silent and keep the familiar bond we already have? I'm just so lost rn

Let's start with the full story. Ever since I was very young, I had a crush on this girl, we talked a lot in elementary and we were pretty good friends, I later found out after high school when I was being "bullied" (long story and too complex to talk about rn) by my 2nd grade teacher she was one of the first to speak out about it resulting in me getting the help I needed, so yeah she's really nice and I have always had a crush on her but so did everyone else in my friend group so I felt weird telling her because I thought I was going to be more annoying than anything and looking back I was a weird and strange kid back then (this will be important later trust).

We parted ways for middle school but reunited at high school. When I tell you she had a glow up she had a glow up, she was so beautiful I would immediately look away flustered any time I saw her. In my entire high school career, I talked to her a total of 2 times, once when we first met and it was very awkward to say the least and the second time was junior year when we were seated next to each other for a week in AP environmental science class and I helped her out on an assignment. My dad is a teacher at my high school and likes to talk about me so one time during one of these conversations she apparently complimented me on my knowledge of the topic.

Now, we have both graduated but we are both going to the same college so very recently we have been talking about it but nothing beyond just college talk like what major, what dorm, orientation stuff, ect. I did invite her to go see The End of Evangelion in theaters but she has not seen the original anime so I decided to back out. I don't know anything about her other than that she likes anime and cosplay based on her one social media post. I would like to get to know her a little better but despite how long I have known her I feel like a stranger to her and she's a stranger to me so it's hard for me to initiate especially with how flustered and awkward I get with her.

Recently, I have been feeling a deep yearning to love someone and for someone to love me back like a super deep desire to date someone and love them and all that stuff,. she is one of two people I have set my sights on, I asked the first one out, she was a pretty close friend throughout high school and ever since our friendship has been a little shaky and I really don't want the same thing to happen to her. I don't want to lose the only person I know when jumping into this new and unknown place. Also, I want to apologize + thank her for being such a good friend to me and giving nothing in return, idk why I just feel really guilty for being so weird as a kid and she has done a lot for me when I was a kid and her helping me a lot and not even thanking her. What should I do, I highly doubt she has similar feelings me due to our lack of interaction, hell I don't even know if she's into guys that's how little I know her.

So once again, what do I do? Do I try and get to know her better? Do I just confess right here right now? Do I stay silent and keep the familiar bond we already have? I'm just so lost rn

Recently, while visiting basically my entire dad’s side of the family I decided to come out as bisexual to them. I’m not the first and they are super supportive and even got the confirmation early in my life that if I was queer they would support me. But while on this trip, had experienced 3 panic attacks when thinking about coming out to them. like I will be sitting there and think, now’s a good time to do it, then panic attacks . Why was it so scary, I had nothing to fear and yet I panic, anyone have any idea?

I (18M) just came back from visiting my dad's family with my parents while on vacation, was considering coming out as bi to them for a while since this visit my be my last before I move to college. I will admit it was scary as all hell, on 3 separate occasions I was going to and then immediately had a panic attack. But on the forth attempt, it was the last hour of day before we had to take a early flight home and the "Now or Never" urge was able to surpass my panic attack and I did it. They were so supportive and so nice which was one of my fears, alongside being vulnerable as the oldest child and mentor in the family, and I was so overwhelmed with satisfaction and hearing their kind words made me nearly cry. It was like a massive weight was just removed from my shoulders and I was truly able to enjoy this last day with them. I'm just so happy rn that I just want to reverse vent.

I 18M just came back from visiting my dad's family with my parents while on vacation, was considering coming out as bi to them for a while since this visit my be my last before I move to college. I will admit it was scary as all hell, on 3 separate occasions I was going to and then immediately had a panic attack. But on the forth attempt, it was the last hour of day before we had to take a early flight home and the "Now or Never" urge was able to surpass my panic attack and I did it. They were so supportive and so nice which was one of my fears, alongside being vulnerable as the oldest child and mentor in the family, and I was so overwhelmed with satisfaction and hearing their kind words made me nearly cry. It was like a massive weight was just removed from my shoulders and I was truly able to enjoy this last day with them. I'm just so happy rn that I just want to reverse vent.

It's exactly what the title says, I am going up to see my dad's family soon for my graduation party and for some reason during the prep for the trip I have had to random urge to come out to them, idk why. And because of course it does, half of my brain thinks I'm just attention seeking. Thankfully my other half is saying it's because I trust them and want their support for how little is worth (Almost never see or speak to them, we just lack common interests).