u/Cultural_Bad6717

Back in 2023 I had an abortion. I got pregnant by a guy that was not my boyfriend, but the experience was very hard for me nonetheless. My life changed in so many ways after this. Fast forward to now, I’ve been with my boyfriend (whole different guy) for a year and 3 months, and we were in the talking stage for a year prior to making it official. I’ve had 2 abortions with him, one was a true abortion one was a miscarriage. I’ve had a deep fear about being connected with someone forever out of obligation and not desire, I was just not ready to have a baby and have gotten on birth control since. With my first abortion I saved the ultrasound photos, the pregnancy tests and bought a ring that had the baby’s birthstone. This signified the love I undeniably felt for this baby even though I could not follow through with the pregnancy. I did not have any keepsakes to remember the two abortions that I had later on with boyfriend because he told me he wanted to leave those memories behind and did not want to hold onto it since we made our decisions. I understood and respected those wishes. Today he brought up that he does not want me to keep the ring from my first abortion anymore- he wants me to get rid of it completely. I still wear it everyday, but I told him that I won’t wear it anymore but I don’t want to get rid of it. That’s a part of me that still holds so much love, pain, and also the transitions of life I went through. It means a lot to me.

Am I wrong for not wanting to part with the ring?

My partner and I recently stayed a single night at an Airbnb. We assumed we'd have the place to ourselves, but turned out the host was staying, which was fine. As many couples do we engaged in physical intimacy a couple of times, we made sure to be quiet, private, and left no mess behind. All of my other reviews are positive and attest that I am a respectful guest.

A week later I receive an angry message from her, asking how we could make her so uncomfortable, that she could hear and knew what we were doing.

I sincerely feel sorry for making her uncomfortable, however we weren't bouncing off the walls and shouting and stayed quiet, we kept to ourselves and left the room clean. It seems unreasonable to not expect two grown adults sharing a bed to not do anything, and if the thought makes you uncomfortable you shouldn't hosts couples.

Anyone have this experience? Not sure how I should respond to her. Are we in the wrong? Again, we really were quiet aside from perhaps the bed creaking.

We are both men, so it's possible homophobia is a factor, but I don't want to jump to that.

Edit: My partner and I misunderstood that it was a shared space. We interpreted access to an apartment as us having the apartment to ourselves. Regardless, I think it's strange to host couples if you are uncomfortable with this possibility.

Edit 2: This post blew up, I likely won't be responding to any more comments, but thanks everyone for your support, I appreciate it.

so basically last year in July I created a Reddit account different than this one now. I posted in a make a friend sub and met this guy. he was a lot a lot older than me and I knew that and he knew that. but heres the thing: I was under a fake name. i like lied about everything, my age my name, where I was from, etc. i wish I wouldnt have done that now.

him and i talked every single day. every day. and then we started “dating”. he wasn’t dating me, he was dating who he thought I was. he flew out to the town I told him I lived in to see me, but in reality I was like 800 miles away. then, I “moved” to a smaller and less happening city to hopefully deter him from coming to visit again. nope, he did. both times he said it was okay if we couldn’t meet, and we didn’t. but now, it’s my “eighteenth” “birthday“. he came out to get me to move back with him. if I tell him it was all fake, his entire world will be crushed. he never threatened anything if I were to leave, but im worried he’ll harm himself.

im a horrible person for it. but i love him. he loves a fake me.

In college, I paid for a history paper to be written for me and paid paper writing service to do it for me. They blackmailed me once already while I was in college and I paid them. They then tried to do it again for the last few years, and I kept ignoring them and deleted my old email address.

10 years later, they now have somehow found out my work email address and emailed me there again and sent a vague email to our HR VP and another email to my old college's provost.

Basically, they want money from me again; they did not indicate how much. Last time they got maybe $1-2k from me.

My company is very large (100k+ employees) so there is a good chance my HR VP will just ignore the initial email. I also think that if the blackmailer does follow up on his threats then he loses some of his leverage.

I know what I did was wrong, and I can try to justify it but that isn't really relevant to a resolution anymore. The course was a general ed class, I took it pass/fail. It had no relevance to the actual major I pursued. However, to play devil's advocate, if there is evidence that I did this once (I only did this once), then why would someone believe me when I say I never did this for my actual major coursework.

I am unsure what to do at this point. Do I come clean and admit that I paid for a paper in college and deal with the university directly? Do I reach out to my HR VP as well? Do I ignore it, do I pay the blackmail over and over again? I am really scared, I spent the last 12 years working diligently at work to build a strong reputation and I don't want my past stupid decision to ruin everything.

Location: Kansas

Hi all. The title really says it all, but I’ll try to get into a little more detail.

Very long story short, my boyfriend and I had been together over 3 years and have known each other for about 4 -1/2. I am 21. We haven’t spoken much since the 2nd due to an unrelated issue that came up, and I took the time since then to step back and really evaluate the relationship. We did still exchange a couple of texts each day, but not much until Thursday the 9th. That day I decided I wanted to call it and explained to him why through text. I live about 30 minutes away and still wasn’t ready to see him face to face. Anyways, he was very upset and begging me for another chance and a “30 day trial run” which I didn’t really consider as being a real option and kind of stood my ground while letting him vent and feel his feelings about it.

Same thing on Friday. We didn’t talk throughout the day, and had a brief convo from about 6-6:30pm. It seemed like he’d accepted the breakup, he was just still upset. At around 6:28, he asked how my cats were, and at 6:32, I said they’re okay. The text was read but I never got a response.

It’s not uncommon for him to fall asleep or forget to respond to a text and we were in the middle of breaking up, so I didn’t think a whole lot of it, but it was definitely odd and earlier than normal for that to happen. I checked throughout the night and next morning (yesterday) and he never responded which was getting really odd.

At 1:47pm yesterday, I get a call from his mom. I’ll call her Susan for the story’s sake. She couldn’t hear me and tried to call back twice but still couldn’t hear me. Then I got a call from a nearby area code and answered because of the timing. The man sounded similar to my boyfriend but with a deeper voice, and he asked “I’m looking for Susan or (boyfriend’s name). I’m (boyfriend’s) dad.” (Looking back now, he might have said “OR (boyfriend’s) dad, I don’t know now.) I was immediately concerned since Susan was trying to call me and his dad died in January. I didn’t say anything and hung up when Susan called me back. She still couldn’t hear so I called her instead and that worked. She then told me “he passed away last night in his sleep.”

I couldn’t breathe. All the air left my body and all i could think was “this is a prank, this is some cruel prank he put her up to” even tho i know she’d never do that to me. She explained that his son (9yo) went down to his room last night and said he was sleeping with his phone in his hand and that’s how she found him before she called me. I told her about when our last texts were and we eventually got off the phone. At that time, the coroners were there and made their family wait outside.

I called my best friend immediately after and as soon as she answered I broke down scream crying. She came and got me and took me to my parents house and then I slept on her couch last night. (That’s where I currently am right now.)

I’m so lost and so confused and it doesn’t make any sense. I don’t know what to do. Of course we don’t know what happened yet and that’s killing me. His brother called me last night to talk and check in, and his guess was a heat stroke. That’d make sense as he works long days outside and it’s been 100+ here all week. All of his brothers are coming down from states away today/last night.

I know that if I was there I probably couldn’t have done anything, but I can’t help but wonder what if I had been. Or what if I had picked him up and taken him to my house? 6:30 is right when we would’ve gotten home. Did the stress from the breakup add to it? I know the what if’s won’t help me and I shouldn’t think about them, but the thoughts just keep coming anyways. Im constantly crying and I feel like I’m drowning.

I know this is a lot. I’d appreciate any advice anyone has for this. I didn’t want to be with him, but I never ever ever wanted him to die. He was my best friend despite everything.

To add on: my job has 3 free therapy seasons so I’ll try those, but I can’t really afford more than that. And for the age thing, yes he’s 31 and I’m 21. He was the GM of the part time job I took when I’d just turned 17, and nothing happened romantically or sexually until I was 18. Not the best situation and definitely odd, and that was a big part of the breakup. I knew it then and I know it now, I guess I just care more now that I’m older. Please refrain from the grooming or pedo comments, I’ve gone through all of that in my head for years.

Edit: so this was locked and I can’t really tell why or know how to unlock it. To everyone blaming me, I get the thought but honestly those comments aren’t bothering me so much and the positivity and love in this thread outweigh the nasty comments. When I know more regarding an autopsy or cause of death I will update again. For now, if anyone knows how to get this unlocked, I’d really appreciate it. And I really really appreciate all of the kind comments and the people messaging me. It honestly means more than you know.

My husband is very stressed all the time. Ever since we met he (45) told me (43) career and growing in his career is the most important thing for him. He is an engineer and currently responsible for a company of more than 600 people. Even if locally no one is above him he still has to report results to the headquarters regularly.

He is very tough, strict and even though I do not understand a lot of what they doing, I feel he pushes people over their limits. He promises the HQ he will reach every goal, live up to every standard. he overworks himself and his people. micromanages, controls, shouts, threatens.

but I tried to separate his work persona from his home persona and we get along well. We jog together, swim together and various other sports. he never yells at me, never talks down to me.

But this changed in the beginning of June. He got frustrated at every little thing at home too. Out of nowhere he called a woman, a subordinate, but now his direct one. A woman who, he would tell me later, works at their marketing department. She is 24. He wants to fire her, he offered her a few salaries just so she leaves. I never saw him invested this much in any employee. He is not the kind of executive who is close with people, who talks to them. he is up there, and they are down. he has his close inner group.

I asked him why he is so invested and he said she is not a good performer and wants her out. I NEVER saw him talking to one of the people at the bottom of the hierarchy. this woman randomly just called him. Didn't even text. she just called him, something that is frowned upon in any corporate setting (i also work corporate and I would never dare to call an executive just like that. and if i did, I would be called out on it). I heard parts of their conversation. He was yelling and getting frustrated and she was calm, sarcastic and was like: and what will you do about it?

I know him and not only him. I am familiarised with corporate world. A top director never talks one to one with a random, irrelevant employee. and she was so casual with him.

He started raising his voice at me too, is not interested in anything anymore. I am concerned and I want to talk to him about it but am scared of what it might come out of it. how do i do it, he is always irritated.

My girlfriend of 4 years has always been big but since she started being an „SSBBW“ model (Short for super-sized big beautiful woman) about 3 years ago she has gained a lot of weight. I am into big women so I don‘t have a problem at all with her physical appearance. But I am worrying about her health a lot because it has gotten to the point where she struggles with stairs, short walks and even proper basic hygiene. I have told her about my concernes many times already but I don‘t want her to feel like I‘m pressuring her or anything, also because she has experienced a lot of critics and mean comments about her looks. Her family is no help either because almost all of them are overweight. (Although my girlfriend is by far the biggest) and I don‘t think they are aware of the situation. Does anyone have an Idea what I could do without pressuring her too much and without making her feel bad about herself?

(wlw)

i already know i’m going to get judged for this, and i understand why.
my partner is away working at a summer camp this week. earlier today i got on my laptop to use chatgpt, and i realized her account was still logged in from the last time she used it. while i was on the home screen, i typed in the search bar and navigated to chat gpt. still thinking i was on my account. one of the conversation titles caught my eye: “partner struggles.” i quickly realized this wasn’t my account.
i wish i could say i clicked away, but i didn’t. i opened it, and then i kept reading. i know that was wrong.
what i found has completely wrecked me. she was asking chatgpt about feeling like she’d lost herself in our relationship, feeling too dependent on me, opening our relationship(which she knows how i feel about this), wondering what life would be like if we weren’t together, and thinking about someone from her past. at one point, chatgpt asked her to imagine two futures, and she chose the one where we weren’t together romantically because it felt healthier to her.
reading this made it feel like she’s been questioning our relationship for much longer than i realized.
we moved three hours away to build a better life together in a new city. started new jobs here. i genuinely believed we were working toward a future together. now i feel completely numb.
the worst part is that she has no idea i read any of this. she’s still at camp for several more days, and i’m sitting here trying to act normal while feeling like my entire relationship has been pulled out from under me.
i don’t know if i should tell her i saw it, wait until she’s home, or just have a general conversation about where we both stand without admitting how i know. i don’t want to ruin her week at camp, but i’m barely functioning. i’m even thinking about taking a few days off work because i can’t get my head together.
i’m not looking for people to tell me i was right to read it. i know i crossed a line. i’m just genuinely asking: if you were in my position, what would you do? and if you were in hers, would you want your partner to tell you they saw it, or would that destroy the trust even more?