u/Curtailss

Okay so on DMT I experienced a strong sense of non duality on a sub breakthrough, but I could still only sense through my own sense organs in some way, like I was still aware that the people in the home still had their own thoughts but for some reason I can’t perceive them but some how I’m still them, that part was confusing. I couldn’t see or hear from anyone else’s perspective even though my family was in the house with me.

So when people take more DMT, is that when they enter full non duality, like can you explain further from my sub breakthrough explanation? I’m talking about the experience, I’m not debating whether it’s real or not, couldn’t care less lol

I love impressing people, like impressing in a way that brings overwhelming shock and joy and fun. like I like to be the entertainer with shocking intelligence/intuition in the moment that would motivate someone but also entertain them. People use to say that’s not necessarily healthy for me and that I should be doing it for me but doing it for people feels like doing it for me. I stopped trying to impress people and just learn to let go of my ego and really find what’s good for me and I think it’s in my blood ya know what I mean. I wanna make things that impress people and that are useful and that are fun.. that includes anything like tech and scientific research to advance it, music, fashion, calisthenics to go with other sports, even dancing if I can get the balls to learn with people because I’m nervous about it lol

What do you think, is there anything wrong with this?

Almost every time I’ve done shrooms, a big fucking spider or some other not common in my home bug appears very close to me. Now these things happen to me maybe twice a year without tripping but I’ve tripped like 5 times this year so far and I think every time this has happened. So strange, could be a coincidence but still lol

I took mushrooms today, around like 0.7 grams and I 100% felt the affect of dmt and entities like fuckin calling me or something and like I was a bit scared of everyone. Last time I tried to breakthrough on dmt these entities were asking me to do more to brake through but my lungs felt a bit abused so I didn’t and said next time to them and said goodbye to them

Ever since then when I do shrooms the onset feels like shrooms but then it turns into a light dmt trip and it feels like if I just meditate I can get enter the dmt "realm"

How many of you guys had this experience and is it bad that I feel scared and feel a bit of a negative vibe from em? I’m open to them just trying to show me my demons you know what I mean but I just wanna know if I’m not alone in this experience, thanks because I’m freaking out lol (btw it’s less now, the shrooms are on the come down)

So I seem to hit hypnagogia pretty easily when anchoring my attention a bit towards some noise in my room or a song. I feel my body noise goes very quiet (could still hear my surroundings) and it feels like a sank in my bed a bit and imagery gets stronger so everytime I think okay i might be dreaming so I get up from bed and seem to wake up in real life everytime (honestly don’t know if I’ve mistaked some times and just layed back down in the dream)

Should I not be getting up when this happens? I heard that when those feelings emerge you should just imagine your room and you getting up and sitting in bed or waking and you’ll eventually actually be there.

I have some type of baseline anxiety I feel, like a low noise of different variants in my head, my chest kind of my whole body and I’d like to know if "normal" people feel these when chilling at home alone with nothing to do?

When I’m home alone it doesn’t go away, because I got this reference point of an empty peace from just 1 small hit of dmt from a low voltage vape, I can now see how much I’m suffering. It’s been happening for as long as I can remember (I’m 21)

I’ve done a few doses close to the waiting room but haven’t done a breakthrough yet-

So I started this because I’ve always been a kid who wondered about our existence, trying to understand why or how logic exists and ya know basically everything. Older I got the more I researched physics and theoretical physics, all the engineerings, philosophy here and there and psychedelics.
When I entered philosophy I kinda had blindly dabbled in all of it from just living life and thinking so it was very familiar all the paths or thoughts of others in philosophy.

Skipping some stuff and trying psychedelics at like 21 and at the end of 21 I decided to pull the trigger on dmt after knowing and learning about it for probably like 8 years on and off.

Now during all this time I had developed intense social anxiety, some other mental problems probably lots of people have a bit of but the social anxiety was very prominent. Hard to laugh infront of people and be happy and enjoy stuff infront of people to the point I couldn’t do it alone without thinking about everyone’s opinions (had a pretty bad childhood which was surely at play)

Dmt showed me unity, the experience of being everything etc.. but the most prominent practical thing I found for my daily life was that thinking isn’t great for having a good time. I mean it’s so useful and I like thinking critically but it kept showing me how everytime I thought I separated myself from others and that’s where others thoughts leaked into my experience basically reducing all my enthusiasm or fun. I learned my anxiety is not something I should need to get rid of but I can use it in a great way and still feel free. I’m still on that path and it’s very hard to not go back to thinking all the time. All my life I had little sayings in my head to anchor myself so I don’t fall into panic and confusion but I keep seeing this isn’t something to avoid and making saying in my head to reduce or escape my anxiety doesn’t work properly and comes back strong.

That’s where I’m at, trying to balance thinking into projects or future goals but to leave my thinking there and enjoy life the rest of the time but I can’t seem to figure it out..

Anyone else understand this? What helped you or all we all just figuring it out? Is the game to just live in the confusion while living the best we can practically?

I tweaked so many things and I’m still getting major input lag for example if I play rocket league on a big screen in the quest through steam vr

I tried the outer wilds mod and frame drops so harsh and consistent. I bought this thing for pcvr to get better quality than just what the quest has but it’s pretty disappointing so far in that regard. The one game working okay is assetto corsa which I’m happy about. I’m using a high bandwidth link cable and my pc is a 3070ti, intel 12400f

Any help or clarity on this would be much appreciated

So I have a gaming pc I built and my wifi speeds are fucking dog water but when I touch the metal casing of my pc it shoots up. Is my body being used as an antenna or is my pc not grounded?

Edit* turns out my wall outlet wasn’t grounded so I just plugged the pc in the outlet above it LOL

I wanna just ride out and sometimes I feel like uber eats can be fun when taking non drink orders. I have the best anti grinder lock you can get and multiple tracking devices inside hidden. I’d be locking the bike infront of restaurants and building for short pickup and drop offs. What do you think the odds are of it getting stolen like this?

So I’ve done dmt couple times and only at home, first time was the best experience because of what I discovered and the next 2 were me trying to breakthrough, couldn’t do it because maybe I wasn’t off of my ssri’s long enough (3 weeks at that time) but I had lots of practical realizations of how I wanna live my life but it was definitely scary while happy. The second and third time I did it, every time I inhaled (just air) things got colourful and bright and when I exhaled things turned grey and kind of like a horror movie look, it was pretty crazy and I got a bit scared that if I don’t control my breathing enough I’ll go into a bad trip but it didn’t scare me to any point of not wanting to do it again.

Anyways I have a little bit left maybe enough for a breakthrough and I was wondering if it’s a good idea to do it in like a nice field of grass in the morning with the sun? I’d be going to a place with very less people so I won’t get freaked out.

So in non dualism someone else’s awareness is no such thing.. as it is your and theirs/just one awareness

The physical world and the body make you separate these happenings and give a sense of individuality but if all body’s and physical worlds collapsed and happenings still happened you’d see it as one awareness with the happenings.

Yes unique patterns of happenings exist and we call those personalities but if you looked inwards and witnessed how every thought comes from no traceable place then you are just the pilot in the cockpit.. we are all the same one pilot and the world is the cockpit, not just your mind and body as we think but the entire world including personalities in the world.

How would you describe your sense of "enlightenment" if you could in words and how would you change what I’ve said for what you think is different?

I personally admire him and his teachings

I didn’t realize I should have been practicing on a lower drift car first because man it’s much harder