u/Dependent_Strain_441

I miss you so much I have such physical symptoms realising my potentially dismissive definitely avoidant tendencies pushed you away. I loveyou and won’t stop loving you . that’s why it hurts I can’t just give way to resentment and reasons why I didn’t like you . I loved u like my child or soemthing . sorry I found it hard to balance my family and you, I just wanted you all to get along

i really ruined something with the only person I ever made a connection with organically and will never get that depth of understanding again

my only ever relationship

it fucking sucks

I had this dream we were walking along our fingers interlocked and I could feel it. your delicate soft shea butter fingers

u mentioned “your boyfriend” in passing but I was there in our bed just enjoying proximity like you knew where you belonged. It was so lovely to feel wanted again and safe with another person

What we had was so profound to me. I’m sorry lack of experience of myself and other things ruined it. I also lost my best friend that day and it made me wish I could sleep forever to dream that day with you again.

sucks we couldn’t work through it together as people who wanted to come out the other side together . sorry for my reluctance

I really loved you.

hi I am so lonely

i just broke up with my gf who was my only friend and partner of 10 years. and I really don’t have anyone

i am gay also and I find it incredibly isolating to not be able to socialise with peoples easily bc of anxiety etc. I can’t stop being upset

hi I am so lonely

i just broke up with my gf who was my only friend and partner of 10 years. and I really don’t have anyone

i am gay also and I find it incredibly isolating to not be able to socialise with peoples easily bc of anxiety etc. I can’t stop being upset

hey guys I’m really struggling

My ex 29F and  I 31F  met online 10 years ago

we have all the same fave bands tv shows music

we talked every day and gamed every day through lockdown. uni. jobs. videogames. I’m talking 8hr calls etc

we fell in love and kept travelling to meet each other. in 2023 I moved continent to finally be with her. I pretty much have no friends except from work colleagues and wasn’t out so there was no one I could talk to about it. Which potentially does sound like a recipe for disaster 

now after ten years and around 8 being in a relationship it’s completely over .

I haven’t spoken to her after a month and she hates my family and me.

i struggled a lot with being out to my family and it caused a lot of complication and I threw her under the bus a few times too many . 

The main sticking point among others was a trip a year ago that was a real miscommunication by me and family and her and she basically felt like she got uninvited off her own trip it’s a really complicated story

Ultimately

I made many mistakes and I mostly don’t want her to hate me. 

I want her to still regard me as a good person that loves her . it’s heartbreaking to lose what was my only friend. and only ever relationship all in one. I’m 31 now and am totally broken. I can’t see a way where I will be happy. I constantly worry about her and wonder what she’s doing and she lives in a different continent so I’ll never just run into her.

It’s mostly the pain that I lost my only ever love and best friend.

we lived in the same small apartment with a dog that wouldn’t let us leave and we worked from home 24/7 so proximity I think started this melting pot of stress . added on to the fact we had a paper walls and a really nosy neighbour that literally slept underneath us. it ended up being quite a stressful living situation where we couldn’t leave without a dog sitter. it ended up me planning a sitter every time we wanted to go out so we could at least get out and breathe a little in the city . i think she got overwhelmed with life and started to take a step back on stuff.

i wasn’t used to looking after and living for myself so my standards weren’t up to hers. I had to do the cooking groceries laundry and most other household tasks after a while it was really exhausting aswell bc I mentioned about my not actually knowing how to do a lot of this stuff it also caused issue when the plates weren’t 100% etc yeah I am disgusting I admit. used to a dishwasher and being coddled within an inch of my life. bc of a nail biting problem I rarely hand washed growing up, anyways I got gloves and learned to .

idk I wish I could remember the bad times bc there was sure a lot. nights of one hour lectures about how I’m r******* and my family doesn’t love me. me saying keep your voice down bc the neighbor will literally hear and discuss . it was like a panopticon and everyone else was an oap. so the news spread like wildfire there. there were no other lgbt ppl in those buildings what a nightmare but it became a lot to consider moving again since we accumulated a lot and didn’t have a car.

she deleted all socials. I respected not speaking to her again.

anyways idk what I’m trying to say or want here I guess I just want some sympathy or someone to say quit wallowing. it just sucks to have no friends and the only person I ever loved to have put all my eggs in one basket

tldr

the only meaningful relationship of my life gf or friend hates me now . I have no one.

looking at photos of you and crying again bc I have never since seen a badder looking bitch and I fucking messed it up I’m so sorry

I miss you so bad

I miss you so so much. I wonder what you’re doing . I worry about you. I also feel angry and resentful for this whole thing and how it soured. it really challenged my fundamental beliefs and really anyone looking inside would’ve said we were doomed. I’m sorry we didn’t just do this 5 years ago. maybe it would’ve hurt less. I miss u in the pit of my stomach . every thought I have is tailored around you. I hope to get to the point where it’s not just the routine of you that I miss and see more clearly. it is really making it clearer i think and now I see what they mean when they say that healing isn’t linear.because I go from resenting you and then seeing this thing like a Greek tragedy. it’s mantua baby i wish you would just understand that. but then again maybe that’s always me putting myself first and me always being the hero of the story. I just want you to have a good life and not have suffered for me. I tried to raise you up which was naive I know.

Just bought this without thinking much off eBay and I'm trying to work out what it actually is under the paint. Any Bass VI / Fool-replica ppl who can help, I'd love your eyes on it.

The guy said it was fender but with some ai back and forth now i'm not sure they ever actually made one in LH.
It was described as 'FENDER 1960's RI BASS VI PSYCHEDELIC CREAM~THE FOOL~CUSTOM PSYCHEDELIC PAINT JOB'

Photos attached. Seller knew nothing about it — found in storage. Cheers in advance, any leads appreciated.
https://www.talkbass.com/attachments/s-l1600-1-webp.7532833/
https://www.talkbass.com/attachments/s-l1600-webp.7532834/
https://www.talkbass.com/attachments/screenshot-2026-07-09-at-15-45-17-png.7532836/

https://www.talkbass.com/attachments/s-l1600-2-webp.7532832/

in your opinion how easy is it to find likeminded people?lots of folk put on events/ friend making stuff?
I recently moved back from a really queer city abroad and my bleak northern town is not hitting.
I feel like the reality would be another slow year at first of making and maintaining connections

its been 2 weeks and after a particularly bad weekend of messaging and stress and essentially an ultimatum that i won't get into, she said bye and never messaged again, except a follow up message to my message that basically said 'ok i respect your wishes we wont speak again , but wish you all the best.'

and then i got the last follow up message saying i'm the worst person ever. and basically i think she was annoyed i got the last word.

i have been dealing with it a lot better this week. the first week every other minute i was spiralling , needing that connection (talked online for 10 years every day). Its so much to unlearn that coping mechanism i guess. its really difficult to replace that somehow.

i still am struggling. she has deleted me off all socials, or just deleted them in general, so i am left with only me knowing what we had and what existed. and some photos. all of our shared memories (even we were friends before with travel memories, food memories, we were gamer buddies) all of that is gone and it makes me feel crazy.

like i am back to square one , 21 years old again.

I dont want to message again or try any thing bc i still just hope one day she will message me and apologise. it really had some good times but i wasnt really ready for a relationship with my mental health issues. i was a disaster. anyway. just feels good to share.

every now and again i will still try to find trace of her online i hope that doesnt sound too creepy, i worry for her and want her to know she isnt alone. but i guess me now living in another country she might be and i have to be ok with not being the one she can rely on and laugh with any more. damn

having a rough time with it she basically sent me a wall of messages for a week straight and then said bye

after a particularly heated and stressful telephone call

it raised my bpm to like 110

anyways I thought ok I will respect the NC thing but then get a uber location update that she went somewhere at night and it shreds me up inside over again

i admit there was a lot I did wrong and would have either done differently or just been honest that I couldn’t be what she wanted from the start. I had so much mental health issues I shouldn’t have dated in the first place but things got swept under the rug so many times it exploded

sorry for the vague posting I guess I’m just a jealous guy and to think after a 7 year committed relationship it kills me to literally see her driving in an uber in the evening to somewhere that I’m presuming is a “date” house ewww

it’s really hurting a lot and literaly it’s been under a week and my stress is in my neck and I’m feeling like it’s hard to eat and breathe.

we were together for 7 years and talked for 10 years every day

becuase of my avoidance and struggles with mental health and overall shadiness it came to a crisis point on thursday and I’m basically dead to her

the silence hurts more than anything

I have no friends to talk to about it

I feel completely lost and I'm not even sure what question I'm asking anymore.

For nearly 10 years, one person was my best friend, partner, confidante, and the person I spoke to more than anyone else in the world.

We started as online friends, eventually got together, survived years of long distance, and in 2023 I moved across the world to be with her.

The relationship struggled. I made mistakes. I was avoidant, wasn't out to my family, was deeply homesick, and handled some important conversations badly.

The biggest issue centred around a family trip. My family were visiting from overseas after I hadn't seen them in nearly a year. Due to everyone's schedules overlapping, my parents suggested a compromise where my partner might spend most of the trip with us but head back a few days before the rest of the family. I knew it was an awkward suggestion and I handled bringing it up badly.

She experienced it as rejection and as evidence that neither I nor my family truly accepted her. I understood why she was hurt and I've apologised many times for my part in it.

The problem is that the issue never really went away.

She broke up with me not long afterwards, but because we lived together and remained close, things became very blurry. We still spent huge amounts of time together and remained emotionally intertwined.

Over the last year the same incident kept coming up. I apologised repeatedly and tried to explain my thinking and my family's thinking. From my perspective it was a painful misunderstanding that I handled badly. From her perspective it seemed to become evidence of something much bigger about my character and my family.

Recently things finally fell apart after the subject resurfaced again. There was pressure for me to call family members so they could answer questions directly about events from a year ago. I became incredibly stressed and eventually put a boundary in place because I wasn't comfortable involving them further.

That appears to have ended things completely.

What hurts isn't just losing her.

What hurts is feeling like the person who knew me best for almost a decade came to see me as selfish, dishonest, manipulative, uncaring, or fundamentally flawed.

I'm not claiming I was perfect. I wasn't. There are things I would absolutely do differently if I could.

But I'm struggling with the gap between the person I was trying to be and the person she seems to believe I am.

For most of this year I didn't really have friends to talk to about it. I spoke to family occasionally, but I was careful not to tell them everything because part of me hoped we might still be friends one day and I didn't want them carrying resentment toward her.

Has anyone experienced something similar?

How do you move on when someone you loved deeply leaves with a version of you that feels unrecognisable? How do you stop obsessing over whether they're right about who you are?

TL;DR: A family-trip became the defining conflict in a nearly 10-year relationship. I've apologised repeatedly for my mistakes, but what I'm struggling with now is how to move on from someone I loved deeply believing I'm a much worse person than I believe myself to be.

I feel completely lost and I'm not even sure what question I'm asking anymore.

For nearly 10 years, one person was my best friend, partner, confidante, and the person I spoke to more than anyone else in the world.

We started as online friends, eventually got together, survived years of long distance, and in 2023 I moved across the world to be with her.

The relationship struggled. I made mistakes. I was avoidant, wasn't out to my family, was deeply homesick, and handled some important conversations badly.

The biggest issue centred around a family trip. My family were visiting from overseas after I hadn't seen them in nearly a year. Due to everyone's schedules overlapping, my parents suggested a compromise where my partner might spend most of the trip with us but head back a few days before the rest of the family. I knew it was an awkward suggestion and I handled bringing it up badly.

She experienced it as rejection and as evidence that neither I nor my family truly accepted her. I understood why she was hurt and I've apologised many times for my part in it.

The problem is that the issue never really went away.

She broke up with me not long afterwards, but because we lived together and remained close, things became very blurry. We still spent huge amounts of time together and remained emotionally intertwined.

Over the last year the same incident kept coming up. I apologised repeatedly and tried to explain my thinking and my family's thinking. From my perspective it was a painful misunderstanding that I handled badly. From her perspective it seemed to become evidence of something much bigger about my character and my family.

Recently things finally fell apart after the subject resurfaced again. There was pressure for me to call family members so they could answer questions directly about events from a year ago. I became incredibly stressed and eventually put a boundary in place because I wasn't comfortable involving them further.

That appears to have ended things completely.

What hurts isn't just losing her.

What hurts is feeling like the person who knew me best for almost a decade came to see me as selfish, dishonest, manipulative, uncaring, or fundamentally flawed.

I'm not claiming I was perfect. I wasn't. There are things I would absolutely do differently if I could.

But I'm struggling with the gap between the person I was trying to be and the person she seems to believe I am.

For most of this year I didn't really have friends to talk to about it. I spoke to family occasionally, but I was careful not to tell them everything because part of me hoped we might still be friends one day and I didn't want them carrying resentment toward her.

Has anyone experienced something similar?

How do you move on when someone you loved deeply leaves with a version of you that feels unrecognisable? How do you stop obsessing over whether they're right about who you are?

TL;DR: A family-trip became the defining conflict in a nearly 10-year relationship. I've apologised repeatedly for my mistakes, but what I'm struggling with now is how to move on from someone I loved deeply believing I'm a much worse person than I believe myself to be.