u/Disastrous_Task_2688

I'm just curious about everyone else's experience. How long did it take before you started getting regular sales on eBay?

I finally got my first sale after about 7 months, but I ended up having to cancel it because the shipping distance made it not worth it. It was definitely discouraging after waiting that long.

For those of you who stuck with it, when did things start to pick up? Did you change anything, or did sales just come with time?

To all the girlies and guys who had a small nikkah or kept their wedding really simple, I'd love to hear about your experience.

I'm currently brainstorming ideas and would love to know what you did instead of having a big traditional wedding. If you don't mind sharing and about how much did everything cost?🤣

I'm also curious how your family and the Somali community reacted. Were they supportive, or did you get a lot of judgment and unsolicited opinions? Not that I really care what people think, but I'm interested to hear how it went for others lol.

Genuine question because I'm trying to see if I'm being biased.

My family recently moved to another state, but my 3 brothers are still back home. One of my brothers is married and lives in a 2-bedroom apartment. Another one of my brothers has been staying with them for about a month and a half while he waits for his dorm to open at the end of this month.

The thing is, my sister-in-law has been acting really weird about him staying there. She complains about him a lot, but the crazy part is he's barely even home. He's a med student, always at school, doing research, studying, or at work. He literally just comes home to sleep.

He doesn't even eat their food because she doesn't cook, so he's not really using anything besides a place to sleep.

Then she randomly asked me if he smokes because she watches the Ring camera every time he comes home and saw him pacing outside. I told her no, he has severe asthma and literally can't smoke or vape, but she kept asking, "Are you sure? Are you sure?" It honestly made me uncomfortable. She also started saying she thinks he lies about going to work, even though she sees him leaving in scrubs almost every day.

The confusing part is whenever I'd ask if she was okay with him staying there, she'd always say yes and act like everything was fine.

Fast forward to two days ago, my brother drove all the way here to pick up his car and told us she had kicked him out. She didn't even tell him herself. She had her husband tell him he needed to leave.

Am I wrong for thinking that's disrespectful? If she had a problem with him staying there, why not just communicate that from the beginning instead of acting okay with it, especially when it was only supposed to be temporary until his dorm opened?

Maybe I'm biased because I've lived with her before when my brother was traveling, and she treated me pretty badly. I used to cry myself to sleep because of how she treated me, so I know what she's like.

Would you let your brother-in-law or sister-in-law stay with you for about 2 months if they were barely home and were just waiting for student housing to open? Or do you think she was justified?

I need an outside perspective because I'm not sure if I'm overthinking this or if this is actually disrespectful.

I recently moved to a different state. My best friend's family is now moving to the same state. I have no issue with them moving at all. My issue is how they've been treating me throughout the process.

About two months ago, my best friend's mom called me asking for help finding them a place to live. I went out of my way to help. I searched for apartments, sent them a lot of listings, answered questions, and even recommended certain places based on what they told me they wanted.

One apartment stood out because it checked every box they asked for. I even called my best friend, her sister, and their mom to show them. They all liked it, but they kept saying it was too far because of the commute. Out of all the places I found, that was the one I recommended the most, but they repeatedly said they didn't want it.

Later, they told me they were tired of searching. I had recently toured another nice apartment, so I recommended that one too. I explained everything, including the rent, and the mom told me to send the link because they wanted to apply. When I sent it to her daughter, she replied, "My mom said it's too expensive." That confused me because her mom already knew the price before asking me to send it.

Then, a few weeks later, they suddenly told me they'd been approved for an apartment. I asked which one, and it turned out to be the same apartment they had repeatedly told me they didn't want because it was "too far." The day before, they had literally told me they still couldn't find a place.

Another thing that threw me off: they told me they were going to drive here and stay with family friends until they got the keys. The day before they left, I called their younger sister for an unrelated question and casually asked if they'd gotten the keys yet. She told me they already had them and were just picking them up when they arrived.

Meanwhile, my best friend has been acting distant, ignoring me, and just being weird throughout all of this.

What bothers me isn't that they chose a different apartment or that plans changed. It's that I feel like I was used to do all the work, while they kept giving me half-truths or unnecessary lies. I genuinely don't understand why they couldn't just be straightforward.

Am I overthinking this, or would you also feel disrespected in this situation?

Random question but if you could ask every Somali in the world one question and they had to answer honestly, what would you ask?

No dodging the question, no sugarcoating, no "it depends." Just a straight answer lol

Could be about marriage, dhaqan, the diaspora, life back home, family expectations, finances, clan, religion, or literally anything.

Mine would probably be:

What's one thing about Somali culture that you think needs to change but you're too scared to say out loud?

I feel like the answers to that alone would start a whole civil war in the comments 😭

Curious to hear what everyone else's question would be

My post got removed, but I’ve honestly been trying to understand what’s going on with Somali social media back home lately. The way things are being used feels like it’s shifting really fast, especially with how heavily influenced it seems by Western trends and online culture.

I’ve also seen people mention Telegram being used more, but I’m not really clear on what exactly is happening there or why it’s becoming part of the conversation.

At the same time, I do understand that some people are just trying to make an income from social media. But even then, it still feels like things are getting out of hand, especially with live battles being disrupted and certain groups bringing qabil into it, which just makes everything more tense and messy acudu

Genuinely wondering if there will ever be any real regulation or restrictions on social media moving forward, or if this is just how things are now🫣

I keep hearing this in Somali households and I’m trying to understand where the line actually is lol

Like for example:
If you talk about therapy or mental health it becomes “you’re too Americanized”
If you want more privacy or ask people to knock it becomes “you’ve changed”
If you try to set boundaries or be more independent in uni/work it becomes “this is not our culture”

But at the same time, I do get that parents are trying to protect deen, respect, and culture, so it’s not always coming from a bad place.

So is it really “too Americanized” or just anything unfamiliar getting labeled that way?

Genuinely curious what others think, especially people who grew up in Somali households in the West.

Salaam girlies,

One of the hardest lessons I've had to learn is that sometimes you outgrow people you once thought would be in your life forever.

As you grow closer to Allah, mature, heal, and work towards becoming the person you want to be, your values begin to change. The things you tolerate change. The conversations you enjoy change. Even the people you feel at peace around begin to change.

I recently had to walk away from a friendship that lasted years. It wasn't because there was a huge argument or because either of us was a bad person. The reality was that our mindsets no longer aligned.

I noticed that while blessings would come and go, the focus was always on the negatives. Accomplishments were quickly overlooked, while disappointments were carried for weeks. Over time, I realized that constantly being around that mindset was affecting my own outlook on life.

One thing I've learned is that gratitude is a choice. Life will never be perfect. There will always be setbacks, heartbreaks, delays, and tests. But there are also blessings all around us that deserve to be acknowledged.

The people around you influence you more than you realize. Their habits become familiar. Their mindset becomes familiar. Their way of viewing the world slowly becomes your own.

Protect your peace. Protect your iman. Protect your growth.

Not everyone is meant to accompany you into every season of your life, and that's okay. You can love people, make du'a for them, wish them well, and still recognize that Allah is taking the two of you down different paths.

Sometimes outgrowing people isn't a sign of arrogance. Sometimes it's a sign that Allah is preparing you for the next chapter of your life.

May Allah surround us with friends who remind us of Him, celebrate our victories, encourage our growth, and bring peace to our hearts. Ameen. 🤍

Salaam sisters,

I’m here to ask for dua.

I recently moved to a new state, and there was one place I toured first that I genuinely fell in love with. It felt like home the moment I walked in.

When I got back home to apply, it had already been taken. Another time I went back, I had miscommunication issues with the landlord. Eventually, a month later, I applied again but it was taken once more.

Now, it’s available again, and I’m reapplying.

In between all of this, I’ve also applied to three other places and got rejected for reasons I don’t fully understand. But I truly believe that everything happens with qadr, and that what’s meant for us will never miss us.

At the same time, I keep finding myself coming back to this place, and it’s giving me this strange feeling like it’s meant for me but I also wonder, at what cost?

So I’m just asking you sisters to please make sincere dua for me 🥲🩷

I’ll keep you all updated if I end up getting it, inshaAllah

Salaam girlies,

I just wanted to share a positive reminder because I’ve noticed a lot of sisters in here are going through difficult times. If this post can make someone’s day, week, month, or even year just 1% better, then my goal is fulfilled.

I grew up with a toxic mom, someone who often prioritized my brothers over me and made life at home very difficult. But alhamdulillah, I truly believe that if I wasn’t tested with that kind of upbringing, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

I’ve struggled deeply. There were moments I wanted to end my life. I remember coming home from school and spending my time journaling just to cope with how mentally drained I felt. I used to hate coming home, subhanAllah. Every time I think about that version of me, I get emotional because that little girl never deserved the pain and hatred she went through.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to give myself the love and care I once didn’t receive. I remind myself that I have to be for me what I needed back then. I was lonely, depressed, and had no real sense of direction, but Allah was always there, even when I didn’t feel it.

Earlier this year, I also went through a really difficult spiritual and emotional struggle, and there were nights I asked myself, “Why me?” But I’ve come to understand that Allah does not burden a soul beyond what it can bear.

I deeply believe in the Quran and the reminder:

“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear.” (Qur’an 2:286)

That ayah has carried me through a lot.

Now, whenever I’m struggling, I remind myself of everything I’ve already survived. And I realize I was never alone. I have Allah, and that alone is enough.

Sometimes when I’m driving or just sitting alone, I get hit with waves of gratitude. Even if life isn’t perfect, I have a roof over my head, an education, food, transportation, and income. Alhamdulillah for everything, even the small things.

So my advice to all of you is this: please remember that everyone is going through something, even if you can’t see it. Some people make it through their tests, and some people don’t, but Allah knows exactly what each of us can handle.

We all have struggles, insecurities, mistakes, and moments of guilt. And that’s part of being human. We are here to learn, to fall, to repent, and to grow.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

“By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, if you did not commit sins, Allah would replace you with a people who would commit sins and then seek forgiveness from Allah, and He would forgive them.”
(Sahih Muslim)

And Allah loves those who turn back to Him in repentance.

May Allah make it easier for all of us, heal our hearts, and keep us steadfast. Ameen

This is something I'm genuinely curious about, and I'm not judging anyone because everyone is on their own journey with their deen and iman.

I've noticed this mostly among Somali girls, and I'm wondering why it seems so common to take off the hijab at weddings. I don't really see it happening as much in other cultures. The reason I ask is because I came across a TikTok panel where a guy posted a video from a wedding, and part of the video showed Somali girls without their hijabs on. Mind you, it was a mixed wedding. The girls who were in the video ended up going on TikTok panels and were trying to make him seem like the bad guy for posting it because he was "exposing" their hair. Lmaoo, sheeko cajiib ah wallahi😂😂

I'm genuinely curious about the reasoning behind it. If it's a mixed wedding, why is taking off the hijab seen as acceptable by some people?

And for the men, why does zina seem so normalized in some circles? SubhanAllah, the amount of guys I've come across in real life and on TikTok saying things like, "Yeah, I cracked that," or, "I wouldn't crack that ugly thing," is honestly shocking. Why would you even be talking like that? She's not your wife🤮

And like I said, I'm not pointing fingers at anyone because I have my own sins too. My sins may not be taking off the hijab or committing zina, but that doesn't mean I'm free of wrongdoing. I'm just genuinely curious about the mindset and reasoning behind these things, especially within our community.

Hello everyone! I’m hoping to get some advice from people who have already gone through the process of choosing a healthcare career.

For the past two months, I’ve been going back and forth trying to decide between medicine and nursing. I’m entering my second year of university, and I feel like I’m at the point where I need to make a final decision.

Long story short, during my first semester I took pre-med courses as a biochemistry major, and during my second semester I took nursing classes. I have a brother who is currently in medical school, so I have a good amount of insight into that side of things.

Part of what pushed me away from medicine was how discouraging some of my professors were, especially one chemistry professor whose classes made me question whether I wanted to continue down that path. Since then, I’ve transferred to a different university after moving, and I haven’t started applying to nursing programs yet, so I still have the flexibility to choose either route.

My biggest issue is that I can genuinely see myself being happy in both careers. Helping others is what drew me to healthcare in the first place. If I pursue nursing, my goal would eventually be to become a CRNA. If I pursue medicine, I know it’s a much longer and more demanding road, but it’s one that I still find myself thinking about.

For those who are physicians or further along in their careers, what made you choose medicine over other healthcare professions? Looking back, what factors do you think someone in my position should seriously consider before making this decision?

I appreciate any advice or perspectives.

Wallahi, I don’t even know what to do anymore. This is honestly insane and I’m frustrated on so many levels.

A man at Karmel scammed my mom and took advantage of the fact that she doesn’t fully understand English.

My mom is also in the wrong here, but he is the main issue in this situation.

Long story short, I’ve been traveling, and while I was gone my mom went to Karmel yesterday to see a man who claims he “professionally” works with credit scores and anything related to credit and finances.

I’m not even sure what he did, but somehow he affected both my mom’s credit and mine.

I’ve been planning to buy a house, and now it feels like that might be pushed back for at least the next couple of years.

First red flag: he told my mom to open a credit card, put $200 on it, and then cut it up and throw it away once it arrives.

Second red flag: he was asking her random personal questions about her finances and assets.

Third red flag: he charged $230 and didn’t actually do anything useful at all.

When I got home from work today, my mom told me to check her credit. I saw that her score dropped by 17 points, which confused me, but I didn’t think too deeply about it at first. I assumed maybe it was because he checked her credit too many times.

A few hours later, I got a notification that my own credit dropped by 62 points.

For context, I have an Amex Gold card and a Chase credit card, both on autopay, so I don’t understand what could’ve caused such a drop.

What makes it even more frustrating is that I was literally looking at houses earlier today.

I just moved here a month ago. And yes, my mom shouldn’t have shared my information but still, I don’t understand what happened or what I should do next.

I’m trying to see something lol

If you were getting to know a potential spouse, or even just a friend, and they brought up qabil… would you continue pursuing that friendship/relationship or does that already tell you everything you need to know?

Me personally, I’d probably just distance myself right there lol. I’m trying to break cycles in my generation and end qabylad, and I don’t really want that mindset anywhere near me or my life.

Just curious what you guys think though, and what you would do in a situation like that.

Serious question because wallahi it’s getting exhausting seeing sh00tings, st@bbings, fights, and young people throwing their lives away every other week. Especially after community events that are supposed to bring peace and happiness. A lot of us are genuinely tired and worried for our families.

What do you guys honestly think is causing all this within our communities? Is it the environment? Parenting? Lack of guidance? Social media? G@ng culture? Trauma? Drugs? People trying too hard to prove themselves? Or a mix of everything?

I also feel like many people underestimate how much trauma some of these kids grow up with. Some came from broken homes, lost parents, grew up around v!olence, or never had real support systems. But at the same time, that still doesn’t excuse hurting innocent people.

And another thing people don’t talk about enough is accountability. Too many people stay silent until somebody dies. Communities can’t only come together after janazahs and funerals. Prevention matters too.

What do you guys think actually needs to happen to stop this cycle? More mentorship? Better parenting? More masjid/community involvement? More opportunities for youth? Tougher consequences? Mental health support? Honest conversations?

Curious to hear everyone’s thoughts because clearly something is deeply wrong and ignoring it isn’t helping anymore.