u/Double-Singer-6631

don’t tell your parents anything if their anything like mines. i’ve been really struggling lately and just overall hate myself. my nervous system is so deregulated and im constantly crying and shaking and i am also doing the summer semester after doing full time school for so long now. i told my mom, (which her herself is part of the problem) that im extremely stressed and hopeless and told her i wanna take a break from school and go back to my home country to where she told me that i have no bills and no kids and how can i complain so much daily. and told me i live in her house so i can’t even call myself a adult. she told me maybe if i graduated from undergrad on time i wouldn’t be worrying about school like i am now. and she compared me to my sister who’s her favorite and who she constantly pours love into.

i spend every night crying on my bathroom floor again like i used too when i was being abused. life feels so unfair at time and idk why i was even brought into this world. ive been struggling since 2022 like imagine. it feels like it’s never ending. and i dream of moving far away from my family but i just needa graduate first. but with my autoimmune disease that i got last year to my family ruining my life daily i feel like i have heavy odds against me.

i just wish i could restart my life from the beginning. be reborn again. new everything. i wish i didn’t have this face. i wish i didn’t have this face. i wish i didn’t have this body. i wish i never went through any of the things i went through. i wish i was loved when i needed. i wish i never had this life story. i wish depression wasn’t real. i wish sickness wasn’t real. i wish daughter roles weren’t real. i wish i was never abused. i wish i never cried myself to a auto immune disease. i wish i didn’t feel sick everyday. i wish i lived the life i thought i would. if only i knew my future i wouldn’t have allowed it to be this way. no one knows how deeply im hurting. i dont see the point of this life. i’m beyond broken. i wish i could die and restart. in a new place, with a new family.

what are the women who are like me and are the oldest of many children and are still figuring out their life?

no one will be able to understand us because they tell us just leave and move out but we know islamically and logically it’s not that easy. my mother keeps having kids and keeps putting the responsibility’s on me! we are now 8 children and counting because my mom keeps saying kids are from Allah. but i think it’s the most selfish thing my parents have ever done in life. we can’t study and focus because at home it’s loud asf. and then your mom always needs your help all day. with literally physical labor and emotional support. our apartment is so tiny and we are all just crowded in here in each others faces having to deal with this. my mom sleeps in the living room which is connected to the kitchen so we just can never make noise as either she’s sleeping or the baby is sleeping so i can’t make food or coffee until it fits in her schedule. it’s a whole bunch of nothing going on. they all sit at home all day everyday if it’s not for school. my dad barely makes any money because he works uber and just spends most of his time watching youtube in his car and complaining about being broke. i don’t see my dad as a man, he is the complete opposite. he cheats, he is never serious, he allows us to have the bare minimum and he keeps telling me to graduate so i can retire him. he’s only 54. he never in his life worked a real stable job. he’s the only one out of his family who is like this. and my moms no better. she just sits on the couch all day everyday and whenever i’m at school or out she just calls me and tells me how much her life sucks and how she’s depressed.

i’m tired of it all. i want to finish school and move to a muslim country. i want no parts in this. my whole childhood and adult hood was ruined just being miserable and dealing with abuse and never having friends and never being social and never going out and never going on vacation like ive wasted so many years of my life. and i hate it here so bad. my parents are the worst people in the world and I always ask Allah why did i have to be nuked with such a family. why didn’t i have a regular family.

i’m the oldest of 7 children imagine. my mom won’t stop having kids. she keeps saying they’re from God. i’m a full time uni student studying biology and i’m broke asf because i’m trying to full invest on my education because i have a auto immune disease as well and it’s already hard to focus with that and my family.

my mom constantly repeats to me that i need to buy her a home and hurry up and just work. and she complains about her life all day everyday. we live in this small apartment where the kitchen and living room is the same room. my mom sleep on the couch everyday and then gets so mad when i am making breakfast or lunch because she wants quiet while she sleeps. and it was like 2pm on friday and im making eggs and she just keeps waking up screaming telling me to stop ruining her sleep. and god forbid any of us tell her to go to her room and sleep she just says it’s her home and she can do whatever she wants.

she screams in the morning just talking to herself or laughing at videos on her phone and wakes me up which messes up my sleep and routine and later tells me it’s her house can scream whenever she wants. the house is constantly dirty even after a full cleaning because there’s a lot of people or young people here who refuse to clean.

my mom ruins my studying but arguing with me and trying to make me clean or do stuff for the others while i’m in the middle of doing my work and gets so angry if i say something against it. she wants me to do the full house load and talks about how she raised me and how her time is over but she is still actively having kids so wdym?

she even thinks she can rough handed “play slap me” but it’s hard and she says i’m lying when i say it hurts. she just thinks she’s some petite dictator. i’m tired of everyone letting things slide. my dad works as a taxi driver imagine, and then keeps wanting to have kids. and he sits for hours a day just on youtube in his taxi because no one takes taxis and then complains he has no money. and he just acts like a teenager. he just snaps all day and he’s 50 something. he cheated on my mom so many times btw but still acts like a misogynist by getting mad saying i’m a women and i don’t do enough. and he even leaves his dirty plate and dirty napkins and says im a women i should clean it.

my dad tries to make me massage his feet and when i refuse he shakes with anger and tells me he’ll send God to curse me and says he won’t give me a ride to school anymore and all this weird stuff. i’m so tired of being stuck in here everyday with my family and i am so scared my future won’t be more than this.

asalamualaykum. i really need some kindness and reassurance right now but please read my full post.

i’m a young women and im in university, immigrant family and born and raised in america. in the end of high school, i went through horrible abuse and traumatic events that really stressed me and gave me some bad issues and bad habits. i got shamed and didn’t get any support. i begged Allah to help me get out of my situation and it worked, im thankful to Allah. after this i worked really hard to build my life back but i was still dealing with immense regret and sadness and maybe ptsd so i was doing all these things while being suicidal, crying, panic attacks, couldn’t sleep. and i built my self to a okay spot compared to before but i then began getting extremely sick everyday and i didn’t know what it was but it was really scary and hard. i was extremely sick like, on the floor, vomiting etc constant physical and mental symptoms. so mental issues began again. it was unbearable, the pain you guys. so i went to the doctors and long stop short diagnosed with a auto immune disease. this disease i won’t say the name but some might guess it just involves your body attacking itself when exposed to a certain thing. so no cure but i have a strict lifestyle because the thing i need to avoid is not only in literally every food, it’s in seasonings, skincare, body care and i literally get eczema or red itchy bumps from it. so ive been trying to manage this disease while fixing relationships with family and friends and trying to graduate and trying to find a job but constantly guys i get sick because im either exposed by family as i live in a house with so many people or just like cc idk its natural it’s not so often but it happens and i don’t want any advice of how to deal with the cc. but my symptoms are enough to keep me in bed. my family ever understands. they make jokes and even tell me i’m lazy and too young to act sick but this isn’t the point of the story or even the advice i want to ask.

what im having a issue with is, im trying not to be scared and upset with life. i want to be thankful because Allah has been so merciful to me. but a lot of the time i wonder if i deserve the sickness i have. if i caused it. i wonder why i had to get it. i wonder how im gonna manage this the rest of my life. i wonder how im gonna deal with this strict restriction forever. i wonder how im gonna keep swallowing the pain when someone makes a insensitive comment to me. i wonder how ill achieve my goals if even one mistake has me on the floor for days and confused. i wonder how ill forgive myself for the things ive done in life. my sister told me id be selfish if i ever had a baby since i have a auto immune disease and idk thats just what broke my heart tonight. all my normal dreams and hopes in life seem so ruined now. i wonder why. i know life’s temporary and tmrw isn’t promised and i don’t want to be this ungrateful. i mean people have cancer as my family says. and people have lupus and some people are blind or physically handicap. i am in no place to complain. but why do i feel so much pain and why do my tears never end everyday. i’m so heartbroken. i remember when i found out i begged Allah for a second chance and i begged Allah for it not to be true. but sometimes i have my days where i try to find a reason, im like maybe Allah restricted me like this for my own good. maybe i’ll be healthier than everyone else because i eat basically nothing. and sometimes i try to think that the Prophets didn’t eat much and were great people. and sometimes i wonder what Rasulallah would have done if he were in my shoes? what advice he’d give me if i told him about this. what hope he’d put in my heart. it’s so hard to find hope these days. i used to think my life’s useless. i used to want to die. but i dont. i wanna have a future. but im scared. like somedays when im sick and my bones hurt and my heads fuzzy and im nauseous and dizzy, i ask myself if this is even real. and if middle school or younger me knew id grow up and be a sick person. i’m literally crying so hard i just can’t even breathe right now.

my grown adult sister told me it’s selfish if i ever wanna have a baby, and that it’s similar to when people with dwarfism have a baby. she told me if she had it she wouldn’t. mind u im only 22, and i was just diagnosed a few months ago. she told me u literally have a disease that kills your body slowly over the years. she’s the same person who tells me theirs gluten in things and laughs and says jk. she also said outloud, after hearing me explain to my brother why i couldn’t eat a certain candy he offered me, that i sound like “those trans people who always gotta tell people what they are” and i said to her how is that the same i literally have a auto immune disease. another time when we were going out to dinner celebrating my youngest brothers birthday, someone suggested korean bbq and i said oh i don’t eat at asians spots- before i could even finish she screams from the front of the car “ITS LITERALLY JUST MEAT AND RICE OMG” and when i yelled back everyone told me to calm down and she has a point….

safe to say my biggest struggles being diagnosed has been my family and friends. strangers are even more kind to me. i can’t wait to move far away from everyone. and i told her to her face i hope she ends up with celiac disease as well. these days i believe in karma because i feel like people are so cruel and they deserve cruel ness back.

none of them know what I’ve been through the last few years, the pain, the vomiting, the laying on public bathrooms in pain during vacations and staying home everyday because of this pain i had, flunking out of school and going back to college after while still trying to find out what this sickness i have is, to even having anaphylactic shock during my upper scope.

idk if im being emotional but i just don’t get how people can treat me like this and why do i deserve to live a life like this. just when i got out of depression i end up with a auto immune disease now i have to be treated like a alien from my own family, its not even only her it’s all my family. grown adults. my grown aunt that i don’t even talk to telling me only losers have celiac disease after she found out. my own father telling me not to be dramatic and to just eat some gluten. and him screaming at me to wake up when i used to be in bed sick and calling me lazy. i know some people hate people who complain on here, and im sorry, i just hope to find atleast one person who gets my pain.

i’m gonna make this quick because this is actually something i’m having a hard time understanding what i’m feeling. i’m a 23 year old women. my dads carrying my nephew, my brothers son and im sitting at the dining room table eating nachos. my sisters are sitting with me. my dad comes behind me, which he always does and i can’t stand but anyways. but he puts the baby over me and i felt a bunch of wet stuff pouring down my neck into the back of my dress and he’s laughing and my sisters are shrieking, covering their mouths. i’m like wtf is going on like, i’m already uncomfortable but i assumed the baby spit up on me so im like awh haha weird that the baby spits up automatically once he put it over me.

i didn’t even turn around yet i reach over my food to grab a napkin and im about to wipe it but my dad wipes it with his sleeve like his sweater. so im like wtf happened i turn around to look at my dad. no one’s telling me anything. my sisters are still loosing their minds saying that’s so nasty, wtf and saying how gross my dad is. so i’m like huh? one of my sisters screamed “HE JUST SPIT SO MUCH DOWN YOUR BACK” i’m like “dad?” they then finally tell me my dad spit on me to pretend that the baby did ?…

i literally am already going through enough feelings towards my family and i was and am still so shocked i didn’t even know what to say. i just told him that’s too fucking far and so fucking nasty. i was upset and confused and angry and wanted to cry but i just stared at my dad who is apparently more confused than me on why a joke is bothering me so much.

i left my food on the table and went to the room, where he follows me with the baby and just looks at me and is talking to the baby and then walks out. i then stay in the room. lost my appetite. told my sister to grab me my water. and just haven’t moved from this spot since. he came back in here to say bye to me before he left the house. and i ignored him.

i had to breathe and relax because i feel like im loosing my mind. am i overreacting.

Hello Omanis and others who live there. I lived in oman for half a year as student. i’m from america. i’m really interested in knowing how others with celiac disease deal with while living in oman? i know most arab countries eat a lot of gluten and it’s even hard in America. so i wonder how the product availability is, how many people are educated on this and cross-contamination? I wasn’t diagnosed when i went so i was sick all the time but didn’t know it was celiac yet. feel free to comment or message me

shukran

feel free to be completely honest with me but my family i live with, i get really annoyed sharing gluten free food when we have a house full of gluten foods… my food is so limited and in small quantities and i have no money so i basically use the food bank or what small change i have for something. my younger brother told his boss about me having celiac and his boss said that his wife is and the next day gave my brother a gluten free donut for me and then 2 regular non gluten free donuts for my brother

i come home and my parents are literally trying to take the donut out of my hand and are mad i don’t wanna share? my mom literally stormed away and told me to eat it all myself then. like why can’t she eat the other two donuts right there. it’s so upsetting. and on top of that my dad who i despise can not stop with the ignorant celiac jokes. like when i was pouring milk in my coffee last weekend he loudly goes “don’t pour that milk in your coffee, milk isn’t gluten free” and he starts laughing so hard… he does this so often. and once told me to come eat a piece of gluten bread and was laughing his head off.

anyways i dont mind sharing but it leads to me hungry most of the time and depressed because im not eating regularly like i was before being diagnosed two months ago. like i made gluten free spaghetti on sunday and wanted to save the rest for school on monday and my mom ate it….

anyone else hate their past so much? i can’t even look at my memories it breaks my heart and i wish so desperately to go back in time and fix myself before i ruined myself. i just wish i had a adult in my life that guided me and supported me. and i wish i felt certain now that im not the way i am because of my past. and i wish i could feel that i will change my future 360. in the end of hs and start of college i was always high off weed and in a abusive relationship with the worst man ever. my family hated me and shamed me and abused me emotionally everyday and physically abused by both my parents and my abusive ex. he took advantage of me and hurt me everyday. he sexually abused me. i cried everyday, i wanted to commit everyday. i flunked out of school and im now 23 and just now on the track to graduating. i stressed myself so bad to fix my credits and i changed a lot but that old side of me was not far ago. i just see videos of me high with hideous makeup dancing and acting happy to mask the fact that i was breaking inside. i binged myself to 199lbs and im 5’4. im currently 185ish and i finally got diagnosed with a auto immune disease. i was doing horrible and my ex got me fired from jobs and i have no experience in my resume and im really struggling to find a job now. i was isolated for so long that i still struggle with being social and im so insecure. i have no conversation skills. i feel so behind. and i have to work extra hard to even get anywhere normal. i just am so upset how my own family abandoned me and left me when i was at my worst. if anything they stepped on me while i was down. they told me i was a loser. my mom told me she’d never love me again. i’ve been healing for 2/3 years now and im repulsed by myself. idk. i just wanna be a dentist. a regular women. i still have no one that loves me and im alone and crying most of the time. anyone else did something stupid like this and is there hope at all?

i’m now 23 years old and i’m a women in america. i had a really bad traumatic event when i was 18/19 that caused me immense pain. at the time i turned to weed to numb my pain and i did that for two years and ruined a lot in my life because i was careless and high. when i tried to fix my life at 21, my family made it hard for me. i was shamed and abused and honestly went through immense stress. the stress triggered a auto immune disease that i now deal with everyday and affects my everyday life. i’m 23 now and ive changed a lot. i’m on the path to getting my degree but im struggling really bad mentally and spiritually as well as physically. i’m always anxious and im like this scared cat, everyone and everything scares me. i jump at noises and i feel scared someone’s gonna hurt me everyday. especially since i travel public transportation in hijab. i am never happy. i have racing thoughts everyday. i’m always feeling like my life’s over. i stopped praying since i was admitted in the hospital over a life threatening issues and that’s been two months now. i pray here and there but i have been pretty much just self hating and sick everyday. i just want to fix my life because i know some people might feel how i do or did in the past but i feel like there is no escape. i have no independence and no car and pretty much monitored heavily by my family all the time. doesn’t matter if they deny me being outside or a job because im too afraid to go anyways and my auto immune issues makes me feel sick everyday. i’m really scared with how life became and im genuinely asking anyone to help. i don’t know how im gonna keep going. i’m so hopeless. i think hijrah would do me well but i don’t know if ill do well in life if i up and leave without no career elsewhere. i wake up everyday on the verge of tears

does anyone else get extremely itchy after eating any sugar like face lips, hands fingers wrists. i have prediabetes but almost out of that range back to good. i

have lowered it all the way to the last point before it not being pre-diabetes anymore so I’ve been taking care of myself but sugar still really bothers me I’m wondering if it’s an allergy or a sensitivity does anyone have it?

the gummies or sweets i have are gf

any one here in a university in quebec? i’m a muslim american really thinking of doing grad school there but im a full hijabed muslim women and want to make sure ill feel good there?

i’m currently in a american university for my undergrad. i have one more year left but want to start applying for grad programs in a few months. (during the fall) i’m wondering if anyone from america is doing a masters here and is willing to connect with me to speak about your experience. i plan on connecting with the school and speaking to a admissions counselor soon.

thank you

i just never can tell when i’m glutened or have a stomach ache idk. my stomach been hurting soooo bad since yesterday but i was so sure i did not eat gluten. compare that to last month when i was being dumb and ate candy that wasn’t labeled gf and got sick. but this

time like all the foods ive been eating are completely gf. i’m wondering if cross contamination got me. i’ve been like on the floor sick. so nauseous. headache. extremely sad. really tried like i slept 9pm last night and it’s almost 7am now and im still tired. i woke up like twice last nice hating life in pain. haven’t ate anything because of it. and i have a exam today so it’s not going well.

im 23 year old women and the oldest of 7 kids. i’m still finishing my undergrad because after covid i genuinely was not doing well mentally at all. i ended up smoking weed heavily for a while and completely lost myself for a few years. i’m finally getting my life back together now and should graduate in about a year, but i’m realizing how much of my mental health issues stem from my family situation.

my mom started having kids very young and basically had a baby every 2 years except the last three being five years apart.. my dad was never financially stable, so we’ve pretty much always lived paycheck to paycheck. now my older sister works full time and helps support the family financially because honestly without her we probably would’ve collapsed.

i’m a biology major taking difficult classes with labs while also dealing with an autoimmune disease, and i’m exhausted all the time. i commute by train and bus to 8am classes, stay on campus all day, and sometimes don’t get home until 8 or 9 at night. and when i come home, i’m immediately taking care of siblings or helping with the baby.

my mom recently had another baby and she’s struggling badly mentally and physically. she has hypertension, she’s depressed, never sleeps, constantly says she feels like she’s dying, and my dad barely helps. i know postpartum depression is real and i do feel bad for her, but at the same time it’s hard because this keeps happening over and over again and nobody listens when we beg her to stop having children for her own health.

i feel like i became emotional support, childcare, household help, and everything else all at once. there are days i can’t even study because i’m watching a newborn while trying to prepare for exams. i barely have a social life, no relationship, barely any friends, and i feel so behind everyone my age. i don’t even know how to drive. i feel like i’ve spent my whole life surviving inside this house instead of actually becoming my own person.

my dad constantly compares me to himself and says that when he was my age he already had multiple children and handled everything without complaining. meanwhile i’m being told i’m lazy or dramatic while trying to survive school, chronic illness, and nonstop stress at home.

i genuinely want to graduate and leave far away for my masters because i feel like if i stay here forever i’m going to lose my mind. but i’m also terrified that i’m too behind in life to ever succeed. and i also feel like trash leaving my family while they are in shambles

right now it’s sunday evening, i have an exam on tuesday, it’s hot outside, and instead of studying i’m watching a 2 month old baby while trying not to cry.

i’m depressed beyond repair and i can’t believe this is my real life. I posted my situation in the subreddit of my culture like the country that my family is from and everyone told me that I have a western mindset that I’m ungrateful that I’m pathetic. I’m a loser that I know nothing about being there for my family and basically I got so upset about that and just now completely hate everything

i’m just tired.

im 23 year old women and the oldest of 7 kids. i’m still finishing my undergrad because after covid i genuinely was not doing well mentally at all. i ended up smoking weed heavily for a while and completely lost myself for a few years. i’m finally getting my life back together now and should graduate in about a year, but i’m realizing how much of my mental health issues stem from my family situation.

my mom started having kids very young and basically had a baby every 2 years except the last three being five years apart. my dad was never financially stable, so we’ve pretty much always lived paycheck to paycheck. now my older sister works full time and helps support the family financially because honestly without her we probably would’ve collapsed.

i’m a biology major taking difficult classes with labs while also dealing with an autoimmune disease, and i’m exhausted all the time. i commute by train and bus to 8am classes, stay on campus all day, and sometimes don’t get home until 8 or 9 at night. and when i come home, i’m immediately taking care of siblings or helping with the baby.

my mom recently had another baby and she’s struggling badly mentally and physically. she has hypertension, she’s depressed, never sleeps, constantly says she feels like she’s dying, and my dad barely helps. i know postpartum depression is real and i do feel bad for her, but at the same time it’s hard because this keeps happening over and over again and nobody listens when we beg her to stop having children for her own health.

i feel like i became emotional support, childcare, household help, and everything else all at once. there are days i can’t even study because i’m watching a newborn while trying to prepare for exams. i barely have a social life, no relationship, barely any friends, and i feel so behind everyone my age. i don’t even know how to drive. i feel like i’ve spent my whole life surviving inside this house instead of actually becoming my own person.

my dad constantly compares me to himself and says that when he was my age he already had multiple children and handled everything without complaining. meanwhile i’m being told i’m lazy or dramatic while trying to survive school, chronic illness, and nonstop stress at home.

i genuinely want to graduate and leave far away for my masters because i feel like if i stay here forever i’m going to lose my mind. but i’m also terrified that i’m too behind in life to ever succeed. and i also feel like trash leaving my family while they are in shambles

right now it’s sunday evening, i have an exam on tuesday, it’s hot outside, and instead of studying i’m watching a 2 month old baby while trying not to cry.

i’m depressed beyond repair and i can’t believe this is my real life. I posted my situation in the subreddit of my culture like the country that my family is from and everyone told me that I have a western mindset that I’m ungrateful that I’m pathetic. I’m a loser that I know nothing about being there for my family and basically I got so upset about that and just now completely hate everything

i’m just tired.

i’m 23 years old and the oldest of 7 kids. i’m still finishing my undergrad because after covid i genuinely was not doing well mentally at all. i ended up smoking weed heavily for a while and completely lost myself for a few years. i’m finally getting my life back together now and should graduate in about a year, but i’m realizing how much of my mental health issues stem from my family situation.

my mom started having kids very young and basically had a baby every 2 years except the last three being five years apart over 20 years. my dad was never financially stable, so we’ve pretty much always lived paycheck to paycheck. now my older sister works full time and helps support the family financially because honestly without her we probably would’ve collapsed.

i’m a biology major taking difficult classes with labs while also dealing with an autoimmune disease, and i’m exhausted all the time. i commute by train and bus to 8am classes, stay on campus all day, and sometimes don’t get home until 8 or 9 at night. and when i come home, i’m immediately taking care of siblings or helping with the baby.

my mom recently had another baby and she’s struggling badly mentally and physically. she has hypertension, she’s depressed, never sleeps, constantly says she feels like she’s dying, and my dad barely helps. i know postpartum depression is real and i do feel bad for her, but at the same time it’s hard because this keeps happening over and over again and nobody listens when we beg her to stop having children for her own health.

i feel like i became emotional support, childcare, household help, and everything else all at once. there are days i can’t even study because i’m watching a newborn while trying to prepare for exams. i barely have a social life, no relationship, barely any friends, and i feel so behind everyone my age. i don’t even know how to drive. i feel like i’ve spent my whole life surviving inside this house instead of actually becoming my own person.

my dad constantly compares me to himself and says that when he was my age he already had multiple children and handled everything without complaining. meanwhile i’m being told i’m lazy or dramatic while trying to survive school, chronic illness, and nonstop stress at home.

i genuinely want to graduate and leave far away for my masters because i feel like if i stay here forever i’m going to lose my mind. but i’m also terrified that i’m too behind in life to ever succeed. and i also feel like trash leaving my family while they are in shambles

right now it’s sunday evening, i have an exam on tuesday, it’s hot outside, and instead of studying i’m watching a 2 month old baby while trying not to cry.

i’m depressed beyond repair and i can’t believe this is my real life. I posted my situation in the subreddit of my culture like the country that my family is from and everyone told me that I have a western mindset that I’m ungrateful that I’m pathetic. I’m a loser that I know nothing about being there for my family and basically I got so upset about that and just now completely hate everything

i’m just tired.

anyone else just live in a family where everyone stays inside everyday and does nothing at all? my family has no friends and they don’t visit family and we are inside all day. i don’t work so i don’t go out much either. i’m full time in school. and i have no social skills. the days are so boring and i hate summer for this exact reason because i hear everyone having fun outside and doing everything they want. and i’m stuck here doing what. nothing. also i never feel like i fit in anywhere. i live in a major city and smack in the city so actualy im always stressed and have anxiety when i go outside so i dont even go outside. because its always mentally ill or drugged people harassing me. and so i just dont even go out. no car but not that a car would be useful here anyways. idk im 23 now and i wonder when ill actually have a normal life and feel comfortable in myself and when ill feel comfortable in my surrounding and the people around me. i’m sick to my stomach wondering when ill have that.

edit**** - reading you guys comments, you guys are the least judgmental, relatable people and i’m so glad i found this subreddit. i’ve even gotten dms from people who relate to me. it’s amazing really. i feel so less alone. and i really appreciate that this is a judgment free zone and everyone just offers tips