The world is so full of danger yet most people just don't seem to mind. I don't get it. To me anxiety is the most rational thing to feel, because I know I'm right about all the dangers.
When he's captured Kanjirou Kasahara explains that after the prisoners escaped it turned into a bloodbath because the prisoners started killing each other. However, almost all of them are still alive at the start of the story. Even two of the three the convicts we aren't shown we know are killed after this supposed bloodbath, with Mutsuo Tsuyama being killed by the 7th Division and Soroku Funabashi being killed in a mining accident. It is only unknown how Tetsuo Takarai (the skin in the Barato arc) died.
Was this retconned? Or did they attack each other and everyone just survived?
And my neighboring country is voting them in as well, they already won two states over there. Why the fuck would anyone bring children into a world where Nazis exist?
I keep seeing the flight type characterized as the OCD type. I also have OCD like problems, mostly obsessively ruminating about certain fears, especially things about the world at large. However, I lack all of the other flight response things that are mentioned, like the perfectionism, always being busy, over achieving. I also just don't flee in threatening situations but freeze up. So can OCD like problems also happen to freeze types?
I've been in therapy for years now and tried so many different types, CBT, ACT, psychotherapy, EMDR, psychomotor therapy, schema therapy. And if feels like nothing is working.
Right now I'm about to finish a year long schema therapy group. Most of what we do is about understanding why we act the way we do and trying to feel and tolerate our feelings. But I already know why I act like this and it doesn't feel like tolerating my feelings does anything to get me out of my freeze response. Other members seem to benefit greatly from it though although most of them seem be more fight or flight types. The only other freeze type dropped out and didn't feel better either. So I'm not sure if this just doesn't work for freeze types or if I'm doing something wrong.
The advice I get is to just try new things (mostly just jobs) and see what makes me happy. And I get told that I'm the only person that can help myself. But none of that feels helpful and just triggers my freeze response even more.
I did manage to start volunteering at a thrift shop two years ago but get no satisfaction out if it and feel like I'm only still doing it because quitting is scary and again triggers my freeze response.
I'm just feeling so hopeless and have no idea what to do and it feels like I might as well due if this will be the rest of my life. I'm only 28 and I'm not sure I can take another 50+ years of this.
I've been in so many different therapies for so long but all of it just seems so pointless. Often it's about trying to understand where my problems come from, but I don't need that anymore since after years of therapy that is pretty clear. But for things like actually enjoying life, or doing something with my life, therapy seems completely useless. I just get told to try new things or something, but the fear and lack of motivation and feeling that it's all pointless is what prevents me from doing that in the first place. But they never really offer any real help. It's like I'm expected to magically get better myself only by talking about stuff. What is the point then?
I'm in group therapy for the abuse I suffered as a kid, and all other people in the group have suffered that as well. But I'm the only one that doesn't have children. I can't even fathom why these people wanted children when they are all extremely miserable because of the abuse and subsequent mental (and even physical) issues. So to bring a child into a world where that shit happens makes no sense to me.
But what's even worse to see is how they themselves perpetrate the cycle of abuse they were victim of as well. From the stories they themselves tell in therapy it's clear that all of them except one are perpetrating the cycle of abuse. Either because they themselves sound like abusive assholes, their partners sound like abusive assholes or because their relationships are dumpster fires.
Like one told the group multiple times she gets mad at her sons when they're having fun because she wasn't allowed to have fun when she was a kid. And another went on a rant about how her adult children cut contact with her and how they should be grateful for everything she did for them as she sacrificed so much. She thinks this despite her having done the exact same thing with her parents because they were abusive pieces of shit, without a hint of irony.
And of course they get angry if you call them out on it, while the therapists don't seem to give a fuck about the child abuse that goes on. So in a way this therapy, which was supposed to help me, just made me more depressed about what is happening in the world.
Other medical fields don't blame you for not doing the work when treatment isn't working, at least in my experience. If the treatment doesn't work it's mostly just concluded that the treatment was the wrong one and a new one is chosen or new tests are done (which is another thing that makes me really critical of therapy since no objective tests are ever done and it solely relies on symptoms and self assessments). If a doctor blames you for the treatment not working we would most likely think that the doctor is a terrible one.
But in therapy this is just so common. When treatment fails it's your fault for not "doing the work", whatever that means. They're often not even specific what "the work" is. For other medical problems you often get clear instructions, like how often you should take antibiotics or the exercise you should do to lessen back pain. But with therapy I have never really gotten a clear example of what the works is, because "therapists aren't supposed to give advice". So it really seems it's an escape hatch to blame the patient when their pseudo-science inevitably fails.
The mental health industry is sold to the public like it's completely scientific and like other medical fields. But often the advice therapists give is just the same stuff religions have been saying for millennia.
What hammered this home for me was attending a Moroccan wedding where an imam read a part of the Quran about how Allah doesn't give you more than you can handle and how you need to trust in him. This sounds just like my therapist telling me I can handle more than I think and I should have trust in myself.
Other things are stuff like gratitude, positive thinking and acceptance. My therapist telling me to be grateful for stuff in life is just like being grateful for everything God provides. Being told to think positive despite the hardships is just like trusting in God because he has a plan. And being told to just accept everything for how it is sounds like having to let go of desire, as desire is what causes suffering according to Buddhists.
But these religions things have never convinced me, so why should it convince me now that it comes from a secular party? One that should be paid for on top of that. For all their claims about their treatments being scientifically proven and evidence based, it really seems like they're just rehashing religious practices.
But religion doesn't help make this awful reality more bearable, so why would therapy?
"As soon as the child is born, the mother who has just brought him into the world must console him, quiet his crying, and lighten the burden of the existence she has given him. And one of the principal duties of good parents in the childhood and early youth of their children is to comfort them, to encourage them to live, because sorrows and ills and passions are at that age much heavier than they are to those who through long experience, or simply because they have lived longer, are used to suffering. And in truth it is only fitting that the good father and the good mother, in trying to console their children, correct as best they can, and ease, the damage they have done by procreating them. Good God! Why then is man born? And why does he procreate? To console those he has given birth to for having been born?"
— Giacomo Leopardi, Zibaldone
Why can forgetting things cause so much distress in people, most likely people with OCD?
I hate being told that the belief that the world and other people are bad is a distortion. It's not a distortion if it's actually true The world is actually unsafe and a horrible place and others can't be trusted. My experiences have shown this again and again, and you can also see this if you just open a history book or see the news. It's actually the "mentally healthy" people that have distorted thinking, thinking the world is a beautiful and safe place and most people are good. That is just plain false and should be seen as the distortion.
Noticed this when arguing with someone yesterday who claimed that having children isn't selfish because it takes lots of work. I disagreed because creating the needs you then take care of isn't really that selfless and argued that adoption would be a more selfless option. But then this person argued against adoption because it's expensive, takes lots of time and the child could be taken away if the bio parents want them back.
See how all of these arguments are only from the parent's point of view and about their inconvenience? I thought we were talking about whether the action was selfless, not about whether it was hard and inconvenient. In fact, it being hard and inconvenient might make doing it regardless more selfless.
And this is an excuse I keep seeing from people, which makes me doubt they actually think birthing a child is selfless and just make up that excuse to justify it.
I'm just so fucking sick of being told that life is a gift no matter what. People that say this bullshit will just never understand the suffering some people go through and neither do they care.
And they also think you never have a valid reason to view life as anything but a gift. If you dislike life because if all the awful shit that goes on in the world you're told to stop watching the news and go outside. But if you're actually suffering yourself it's just a you problem and you should just shut up about it.
I'm so fucking tired of it.
Just saw the news that bombings of Kyiv are intensifying and that Israelis settlers are attacking Palestinians in the West Bank. These are just a small portion of all the horrible shit that goes on in this world.
And yet not only do people bring more children here, they even claim it's a gift and for their benefit. Even when their children can become the next victim, considering all previous and current victims were someone's child. I just can't understand this line of thinking.
Humanity really shows how awful it is by having convinced itself that exposing children to all the awful shit in the world is the most loving thing you can do.
On a related note, I also can't comprehend how people just not care about all the suffering that goes on in the world and claim that the people that are bothered are the weird one.
I've seen people like this sometimes, they proclaim that the world is good and life is a gift but they get really dismissive towards people that don't think like that often because they are dealing with stuff. But these people then get told to shut up and just accept everything because life is still a gift.
I don't think the word is toxic positivity as, from what I understand, that's more about suppressing negative emotions and telling people to just think happy thoughts.
Everywhere you look exercise is recommended for mental illness, from scientific studies to social media to doctors. But I've been hitting the gym multiple times a week for over a decade and I just don't notice any improvement in my mental issues. So what causes this? Am I doing something wrong? Or does it just not work for people with complex trauma?