Sometimes I suddenly get a burst of ideas, like a volcano erupted - ideas to start businesses, start non-profits, ways to help others in my neighborhood, study new languages, the emotions are so convincing that I want to get started away. The immediate next day, those ideas carry no weight, I have no feelings towards those ideas.
I have been doing the same job for 1 and half years, general social work for Medicaid recipients, mostly elderly. This is my first job out of grad school. There is supervision, but it's minimum. My clients are not acute, but it's getting mundane. I learn nothing new, no challenges, no connections to colleagues. I make outside visits and do my notes at home. Very independent and flexible. We have department meetings once a month, but doesn't address much burnt out issues. I dread visiting clients as there are no problems to be solved, mostly just talking. I approached management to terminate some clients, but they make it very hard. I come to a point that I don't want to open my laptop anymore nor look at the clients' list. My self care is poor, I just don't have a set way to self care, mostly just watch TV. It's not right time to switch jobs as I am accumulating hours for my license.
It's weird - when I am down, people seem to tolerate me, connect with me. When I am not down (not manic), I am stable and I act cocky, annoying, and complain - a complete jerk, then people push away. Instead of low and high, I am low and jerk. I hate that part of myself.
Curious
Curious to others‘ life experiences, as these answers can help me and others to know how to better change our lives for the better, best way to learn is from each other.
Curious to others‘ life experiences
Each time I am stable, I want to perform like a person without mood disorder: I want to perform normal on a job, I want to relate to friends as normal, act as if I have no issues. Then I wake up, reminding myself that I cannot expect myself to have a "normal" life. I want just so much to have a normal life, to make up for what I had lost but I know I just can't, need to constantly remind myself.
Venting: despite top undergrad degree, master degree, lots of job experience, this condition always put me in lower middle class. I cannot never just be "average" in the area I live. I simply cannot meet the demands of an "average" job. Just trying to make ends meet for decades. Frustrating. Education and intelligence don't mean much when one cannot achieve the goals of any job.
For the 8-inch burner, original part was WB24T10146. I bought and replaced it with WB24T0025. It works perfectly. Would that be a problem in future
For online sessions, how do you know if clients are recording you without your permission? Even with in person visits, clients can still record with devices much smaller than mobile phones.
On the other hand, I know another agency that automatically records all online sessions on their AI platform, they supposedly have informed clients by dubious means but never clearly stated by the therapist before the sessions.
This situation is NOT good for therapists nor patients.
I am 56M, for the first time in my life, I am stable, starting about one year ago. No more meds, no more therapy. It's a miracle. I feel so confident in doing my entry level social work job, but it's so low pay that I have enough just to survive. I got into social work six years ago because it was only job I could do. In my younger days, I did international computer distribution, corporate sales, tech sales, which I failed all due to my paranoia and inability to build relationships with clients and unreliability.
Now I feel totally confident - not BP high, but stable confident. I am trying to make more money, but at same time I am so late in career development. There is no way to make much more in social work, being the nature of this field. Yet I don't know if I can start in sales, tech, healthcare, or anything that can be more lucrative.
I have had severe mental issues throughout my life. My parents never, never understood what I was going through. The concept of mental health doesn't exist in rural China where they grew up. In addition, I had to pursue the academic dream in the US despite my condition. It was hell. Only when I was much older was I able to find professional help. Now I am much more stable. But the shame of not achieving the professional career dream is intense. My extended family members became high level professionals in their fields (you know the typical ones), I am stuck in low paying jobs that I can't tell others at family gatherings. The shame is as intense as my bouts of depression. Not because I was lazy or stupid. I can barely keep my motivation to get up in the morning, much less to accomplish anything careerwise. Worse yet, I am the oldest son - most family investments on education went to me, not my younger siblings. I was supposed to bring glory and honor to my family. Now I can't even tell other family members what I do for a living because it's so low pay. I cannot use mental health condition as an excuse, now I am just seen as a smart guy who went to good schools but couldn't achieve anything. The shame is horrendous.
My daughter asks me, "Dad, what do you collect? My friends' dads collect old CD, vinyl records, antique cars. They are avid skiers, surfers, video editors, cigar smokers. What do you like dad?" I have no answer. I have no personality. Nothing in me stands out in the crowd that makes me "interesting" except that I am recovering Bipolar person. No hobbies that stick. Nothing I am fascinated about. I am not funny, not adventurous, not analytical, not athteltic. Nothing. She has nothing to say about her dad they share what their dads are like. It really hurts.
I got my masters degree with tuition assistance from Department of Rehabilitation in CA. They require a letter from my psychiatrist stating I have bipolar. It saved me lots of money. They offer jobs placements as well for people with disability, which we do. Highly recommended.
My daughter asks me, "Dad, what do you collect? My friends' dads collect old CD, vinyl records, antique cars. They are avid skiers, surfers, video editors, cigar smokers. What do you like dad?" I have no answer. I have no personality. Nothing in me stands out in the crowd that makes me "interesting" except that I am recovering Bipolar person. No hobbies that stick. Nothing I am fascinated about. I am not funny, not adventurous, not analytical, not athteltic. Nothing. She has nothing to say about her dad when they share what their dads are like. It really hurts.
Instead of us trying to fit into a working world where we cannot function, anyone thought of being an entrepreneur, starting businesses, non-profits, so that we can create our own working world? Only concern is the self-discipline and ups and downs, we need to be our own structure.
My 20 year old son is finishing his 2nd year and wants to drop out, citing the terrible job market for college grads, that Gen Z'ers without college degree has the same chance of getting a job same as one with a college degree, how labor skills jobs like electrician and plumbing are more stable, how his friends with CS degrees are unemployed, how he can just work a waiter job - save all his money and starts investing in it - he will have the same financial stability at 45 as one with a college degree.
He doesn't want any college debt.
Is a college degree really that wortheless these days? During my Gen X days, a simple liberal arts degree got me a job. Is it that different nowdays? How do hiring managers see the value of college degree? We live in a highly educated area, his friends from high school all are in college. As a parent, of course I want him to have a degree as a backup no matter what he does as a job. Don't want to exert pressure on him if he truly doesn't want to continue school.
My 20 year old son is finishing his 2nd year and wants to drop out, citing the terrible job market for college grads, that Gen Z'ers without college degree has the same chance of getting a job same as one with a college degree, how labor skills jobs like electrician and plumbing are more stable, how his friends with CS degrees are unemployed, how he can just work a waiter job - save all his money and starts investing in it - he will have the same financial stability at 45 as one with a college degree.
He doesn't want any college debt.
Is a college degree really that wortheless these days? During my Gen X, days, a simple liberal arts degree got me a job. Is it that different nowdays? How do hiring managers see the value of college degree? We live in a highly educated area, his friends from high school all are in college. As a parent, of course I want him to have a degree as a backup no matter what he does as a job. Don't want to exert pressure on him if he truly doesn't want to continue school.
My 20 year old son is finishing his 2nd year and wants to drop out, citing the terrible job market for college grads, that Gen Z'ers without college degree has the same chance of getting a job same as one with a college degree, how labor skills jobs like electrician and plumbing are more stable, how his friends with CS degrees are unemployed, how he can just work a waiter job - save all his money and starts investing in it - he will have the same financial stability at 45 as one with a college degree.
He doesn't want any college debt.
Is a college degree really that wortheless these days? During my Gen X days, a simple liberal arts degree got me a job. Is it that different nowdays? How do hiring managers see the value of college degree? We live in a highly educated area, his friends from high school all are in college. As a parent, of course I want him to have a degree as a backup no matter what he does as a job. Don't want to exert pressure on him if he truly doesn't want to continue school.