u/Fabulous_Extreme_470

I just got a really good job. Like REALLY good. I feel so extremely lucky but so much pressure and the overwhelming feeling that I’m going to fail.

I work in mental health. Left the field earlier this year and took medical leave during my diagnosis and burnout. Moved across the country. Became a cake decorator because I thought that would be better for my autism than being a mental health professional. Got stuck with a manager that legitimately takes joy in hurting and manipulating others. He made my life hell. So I applied to jobs I was at least mostly qualified for. Back to mental health I go. I didn’t even finish school. Had like one semester left. I have work experience that qualifies me to work as a counselor though. I know how to do the job.

I don’t understand the politics of community mental health though and it stresses me out so much. I need to be grounded in logistics and procedures to succeed but I have been thrown to the wolves and given vague advice/warnings about certain appearances I have to keep up at the company and I wish I could just tell everyone that I will not be effective without clear instruction.

I also feel so phony trying to help people with their emotions when I am internally combusting. I told my trainer I’m autistic and he seemed to take a bit of pity on me.

My boss is very particular about things and keeps “testing” me and having me do the job without any instruction just to observe what my instincts are. It’s nauseating. Rather than tell me their company procedure for a crisis plan, they have me write one without any information or instruction. How is that helpful?

I feel as though I cannot handle the social intricacies of this company but I need this job. It’s a 20,000$ pay raise from what I was making literally 2 days ago. I feel like I have emotional whiplash. I literally got a call from the owner on Wednesday, was asked to interview an hour later, got a call 10 mins after the interview saying they were offering me the position, and was asked to start the next day. When negotiating salary, the owner asked me my price. I told him I thought I deserved the higher end of the range on the job listing because I’ve done very similar work (my job is 95% in the field, independent, traveling by myself to see clients) and I won’t have to be trained as much as someone else who hasn’t done this style of work. He told me I made a good argument and provided me with the highest salary available. I’m afraid that me asking more more detailed instruction will be viewed as inexperience rather than simply a need for procedural clarity and I don’t want them to think I exaggerated my experience for money. I am famously great at interviews and freeze up during the job. I think it will be better once I am not shadowing someone all day. I am terrified of failing at this. Thank you for listening to my ramble. I am desperately trying to process all these emotions and figure out how to best help myself. I want to be able to do this.

Any other autistics in the mental health field? How do you do it?

I am the only decorator at my store. My previous experience begins and ends with a side hustle (home baking) and a brief stint in the food industry. Previous decorator rage quit months ago and left the bakery a walking health hazard. My BM is elderly, confused half the time, and checked out. My sales lead is incredibly bitter at the workload they have been given, and resents the fact I don’t just say “yes sir” to anything management tells me. I recieved no training. Any question I ask is met with attitude. Everything is my fault although I am the only person keeping the cake/cream island side of the department running. They are consistently amazed at the fact I can’t do the job of two people perfectly after working there for a little over a month. Outside vendors who have come to my store to help me have said they have never seen a store as bad as mine, they think the way I’m spoken to and the amount of work I’m tasked with is insane. It’s like walking into an alternate universe where you work your ass off for 9 hours a day and somehow you are treated as if you’re just lazing about. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. Everyday I fight the urge to scream at people and I don’t have any energy for my loved ones. I don’t understand how people do this for years. This is the most difficult job I have had and I was a fucking wildland firefighter.

Hey everyone!! What’s the process of going from “full time” (which yeah nobody is really full time but I mean full time hours) to part time? I’m still recovering from a pretty insane surgery I got last year (4 organs removed) and I may have jumped the gun at going back to work full time too soon. I just got this job as a cake decorator like 2 months ago, but 5 days a week, 8-10hr days is killing me. When I was hired they said it would be around 32 hrs a week which sounded great but it’s ended up being 38-45hrs. My husband and I agree that this isn’t sustainable and I have to go down to 4 days a week. I just don’t know how management is going to recieve this. My SD is a huge hard ass that is clearly scared of corporate. My bakery manager is checked out. Can they deny this change or fire me for this? They just hired a part time (3 days a week) packager that also helps with cake decorating on my days off. Any advice appreciated. I like what I do, I just can’t keep up with my health and this incredibly demanding work.

Hey yall! Lmk if this post isn’t allowed but I’m looking for 2 tickets to the Noah Kahan concert on August 30th or August 31st. My birthday is on the 31st and it’s been a dream to see him in concert for like 5 years!

Trying to gauge interest on a potential weekly/bi weekly meetup for autistic people in the city looking for friendship. Open to suggestions on locations, accommodations, times/days etc.,

Would anyone be interested? Location would be in a sensory friendly environment, super low stakes, parallel-play style.

I just moved to Capitol Hill a few months ago and I’m looking for ideas on things to do on my day off. I enjoy nature, thrifting, cute shops, scenic locations. What are some of your favorite ways to spend a solo summer day in Seattle? (Also willing to drive up to an hour outside the city).

Forgive me, for the next door-ish post. I’m a new transplant of a few months and I have nobody else to ask. I feel like traffic was worse today than it was on even some game days of the World Cup. Is it just due to construction starting up again? Was there an event I missed?

The list was longer than would be ideal. Am I a goner or is is a formality? If it matters I’m newer to the company and have never been “in trouble”before.

Hello! I am trying to get more comfortable biking before I start using it as a method of transportation in the city. My husband and I are looking for a peaceful and scenic place near the city we can go practice. We are willing to drive anywhere within an hour of Seattle. Thanks!

Just moved here from Minnesota last month. I’m originally from Connecticut but have lived in Colorado, Oregon, and Minnesota. I’m absolutely in love with this city!! I have a few questions for locals about some things I haven’t been able to wrap my head around.

1. What’s with the driving? My theory is that since there are so many transplants here, everyone grew up with a different driving style which creates the clusterfuck that is Seattle. You got your Midwest slow pokes (oh no you bet you go ahead no worries!), your California bmw’s going 90 in a 60, your local Washington grandmother who has no idea what’s going on, people from other countries that just started driving here and also have no idea what’s going on, north easterners who just want you to GO!!)
   Why are we waiting 5 seconds to go after the light turns green? Are we looking at birds in the sky? Are we afraid a pedestrian is going to suddenly materialize in the intersection? Why are we slamming on our breaks at the first glimpse of a yellow light?….buddy it is 5pm you gotta HUSTLE. Why are we breaking as we are ENTERING the freeway? I am consistently amazed by this behavior every day.

2. What’s is winter ACTUALLY like? I mean in 2027, not 2009. I’ve heard conflicting reports of “oh get ready to not see the sun for 6 months!” mixed with “once it hits February it’s literally sunny most days.” I’ve done a PNW winter as well as a Minnesota winter so I’m fine with either.

3. Why is the Seattle police department…like that? had zero faith or respect for the police before moving here but I can honestly say I’ve never been somewhere where the police seem absolutely dedicated to doing nothing about anything ever. I’m aware we have only like 800 deployable officers for the whole city but still. I saw a post of 7 cops harassing a woman and her kid selling fruit without a license, but then they don’t give a fuck about the sex traficking on aurora? Is this policy issue? Is the chief of police more of an imbecile than your average chief of police? Has it always been this way?

4. The homelessness/drug situation. These people do not bother me, I haven’t felt unsafe, and I feel empathy for most of them, but the amount of people I have seen openly smoking crack in the broad daylight is nuts. Again this circles back to SPD, are they not allowed to arrest people for open drug use? I know they won’t but like is that ALLOWED?

5. Honorable mention: people living here are so nice I was not expecting this at all. I understand this doesn’t directly translate to deep friendships but I was expecting general apathy and rudeness from the public but people have been especially helpful and pleasant. Even the drug addicts have been super chill and barely ever ask me for anything. Pretty cool!

This is my first post here, very grateful for you all. Just want to vent to some people who understand and see if anyone else shares these feelings.

When I was 12 years old, I reported my CSA by my father after my parents divorced and we had a restraining order. He raped my mom for years so she wasn’t too surprised. Went through the whole process of interviews and filing an actual claim. They validated the abuse and tried to help get charges filled. Unfortunately my dad was friends with everyone at the small town police station and somehow everything was thrown out. I started convincing myself it wasn’t real. Then at 19 I was SAed in my sleep by my live-in partner. He admitted to it and then broke up with me. When I was 22 at a resort job in Colorado I was SAed again by a coworker I was talking to. I reported it to management with text message screenshots of him admitting it, and all he did was separate us. My manager was an ex-cop and encouraged me not to tell the police because “they wouldn’t do anything” Then they slowly stopped giving me hours until I had to leave the town bc I didn’t have any money. My manager ended up getting fired for talking shit about it in public a few months later. The man who SAed me did it again to another woman in town and she reported him to the police, and I felt like I had to help so I reported it as well. It’s been 3 years, 4 different detectives, and nothings happened.

Anywho, I went to somatic therapy after I started dating my now fiance, because I was getting emotional/body flashbacks during sex. It really helped for about 6 months but all of a sudden I am getting horrifying nightmares, I’m scared all the time, I’m having visual flashbacks for the first time ever, and I’m constantly triggered by my male bosses.

I’ve also dealt with chronic health issues all my life. I have a genetic condition similar to cystic fibrosis that causes a ton of issues. I was given 10 years to live but then I was able to get a surgery that would increase my life expectancy. I had to get 4 organs removed last year, and am still in constant pain.

On top of all this, I am diagnosed with level 2 autism and am under constant sensory overload, am highly confused by any social interaction, easily to manipulate, and am frequently angry. it’s very difficult to control my emotional responses. I’ve dealt with self harm issues my whole life.

I am trying to be grateful to be alive. I have gone through extensive therapy and am heavily medicated. I just have this complex that I can not seem to get rid of. “I shouldn’t have been born, my life is so hard, why does everything bad happen to me.” I am so “woe is me” all the time and I hate it. I have a wonderful fiance who is so understanding but I want to give him more. I want to be affectionate, not have an attitude, have energy to do things, not feel like such a burden. I feel like it’s been getting worse since the nightmares started. I just feel that it’s all so unfair and it’s difficult to want to go on. I am so tired of the years of therapy and nothing works. I’m tired of being bitter. I want to be happy and bubbly and carefree but I have just grown so hardened and serious. Ive lived a life of pain for 25 years and I don’t understand how some people just go on with a positive outlook. I didn’t deserve anything that happened to me, it feels like I’m cursed. It’s so hard to look at the bright side when I seem to have the worst luck no matter how many good decisions I make.

New to town, who the hell is Henry? Pic in the comments.

What’s everyone’s favorite trivia night spots?

I’ve been on reglan for almost a year now due to post-sugery gastroparesis ( I had my pancreas, spleen, gallbladder, and duodenum removed). When I first started taking it I dealt with horrible nightmares that went away after a few weeks but now they’re randomly back. They are so traumatizing some nights I just decide I’d rather suffer with my physical symptoms than deal with another round of the most horrific situations my brain can come up with to disturb me. Anyone else deal with this?

Just moved to Capitol Hill with my husband! Where can we see good local plays? We yearn for the theatre!!!