I've been identifying as trans and that I wanted to transition for 7 years and have been binding for 5 years or so.

This summer I decided to throw everything out the window and ask for HRT to my doctor along with one of my best friends (MTF).

We have an appointment in September to get checked by the endocrine and finally start with HRT once and for all.

I've been wanting this for so long that it literally feels unreal, especially with a family that doesn't support you

Now that I see the day closer and closer I can't help but worry, it's definitely what I need and want, I have for 7 years of my life. But now that it can be real I feel scared.

Scared of something I've yearned for to not be for me, to look bad, to look disgusting, to somehow not be myself anymore, to just... Not fit with it.

Obviously this is just my head taking it in but damn... Feels like a shock.

I've been trying to install CSP for 2 days on CachyOS with KDE and it won't open.

I've been running tests where it took 16 whole minutes and it still didn't do anything, I'm genuinely lost.

Can anybody help me or give me any tips I should know or check for?

Get into homelabbing and such, I'm obsessed, makes you kind of feel like a nerd but that works wonders for me ngl

A lot of trans guys don't like it and hate to be represented by that stereotype, I'm a stereotype, so it upsets me

I've been searching for ways to remove my monthly subscriptions but one I still have is Spotify, it's comfortable and works on multiple platforms and since I only pay 3'50€ monthly due to having a family plan I fear the change isn't worht it (that's why I ended up forgetting about self hosting).

One of my friends recommended ArchiveTune for Android which I'm really liking this far. It looks clean, looks easy, functional and it's receiving updates so now that I have the streaming on my phone covered I'm left with my desktop.

I used the web app for YouTube Music with uBlock via LibreWolf and it's working for me so far but ngl, the UI... Could be much better... Especially coming from YouTube.

So I'd appreciate it if you shared what you use to stream music on your desktops (without counting self hosting software or local file players)!!

I think this isn't a forbidden topic and since this isn't solely about the USA I thought it fit in better with the Discussion one. If not I apologize and will take it down if necessary.

So, I think y'all aren't new to how the political climate is everywhere with the huge rise of the extreme right due to the poor handling that the left has had in many places, I've been growing concerned of my country by how fucked up we are and accepting that conservative ideologies will be the norm in a lot of places.

Now I ask myself, what do I do? Lol. I always had the (stupid) mindset of "Oh I'll just immigrate to another country if I see I'm actually being threatened" but at this point, where? Lmao.

So, what would y'all do, being realistic? I don't know if things could get that far but I'm already seeing shortage of estrogen around my zone, which makes me believe that testosterone could be next (although I have my doubts).

I apologize in advance if this is dysphoria inducing. I don't know how else to frame it.

I've come to realize that I do not trust whatsoever any cis gay around me unless he's extremely queer and progressive.

I've heard so many intense transphobic comments coming from cis gay men that I've simply developed a strong "hatred" for them and it's also the reason of why I never feel included (as a trans man) gay spaces and even sometimes in LGBT+ spaces.

I've seen this hate for trans men and our genitals (ik right? What a surprise, the intimate parts of trans people being the reason of a debate... How rare...) for years and I genuinely don't know what to do about it. I want to understand that not everyone is like that but god, how do I even do it?

Just today I was curious about something, so I looked it up and the r/askgaybros or something subreddit popped up, let's say that and found some... Interesting answers on the post I clicked... So, foolish of me I typed into the subreddit search bar "trans men" and holy fuck... I was at least expecting a little more of support but I only found tons of hate comments about us, and not just genital preference shit but just blatant "They aren't men because they have a vagina" type of transphobia.

I'd appreciate if any of you could give some tips into idk, not hating our own community? Because I'm genuinely thinking that atp we are on our own and it just makes me really upset and even more dysphoric because I am a gay man and I'm feeling disgust/hatred towards "my own" community...

EDIT: I appreciate all the tips y'all have, they are really useful!! I didn't know about that subreddit and it's not like I spend times around those type of spaces this also doesn't only come from online spaces but from real life experiences too. If you guys have experienced something similar or know how to deal with this it'd help even more, thanks!

I've been getting messages from what I think are very clearly chasers (they usually ask if I'm on T or not and then ask for pictures) on reddit and the only way they can find me and KNOW that I'm LGBT or trans is if they have found any of my posts in this subreddit or in other ftm/trans related subreddits but this one specially.

What do I do? Do I post their user name here so people can take care? Do I contact mods?

Loved the way we won the world cup but what I loved most was that I was addressed CORRECTLY multiple times by a group of cis men who wanted a beer (I was near the beer refrigerator in a shop lol) while I was drenched in sweat and my hair was a complete mess.

So much gender euphoria lmfao

I really need to start working for personal issues preferably in the field I studied for but I can't find any job offers that don't require 3+ years of experience.

I have none, 6 months at best. I can't even get an interview in the company I was an intern at for 4 months.

I'm stressed out because I just graduated (programming science) and can't do anything, all that I have left is specialization courses that last 1 year at best and even still I won't have experience.

Do I give up and search for common jobs like working at a supermarket or something? I heavily need a job to move away.

Thanks.

Hi, if anyone is kind enough to let me complete GOWR and then kick me out of the family I would appreciate it. I got scammed and bought a copy of GOWR that is damaged (for the PS4) and I'm very reluctant on spending another 40€+ on re-buying it on steam.

...My library isn't that big, I've got GOW, Slay the spire, portal 1 and 2, far cry 5, celeste, needy streamer overload, peak, cult of the lamb, it takes 2, bendy and the ink machine, DMC (all of them), dishonored, fallout 4, ori and the will of the wisps, overcooked, resident evil 4, resident evil biohazard, stray, this war of mine and the Witcher 3.

Thanks in advance if any kind soul is interested.

REGION: EUROPE-Spain

I'm already dealing with paperwork to start testosterone n I'd love if y'all shared some hygiene tips that you should know before/while being early on T.

I already do the basics lol. I follow a skincare routine, I shave whenever I have to, I shower every day, wash my hair every 2 days or more, use a specific gel for intimate parts, etc.

Again, basic hygiene, but ik that many things will change on T and that a puberty with testosterone is kinda crazy.

FTM.

I've finally managed to start the bureaucracy in order to start HRT in my country and I'd love to hear some tips you wish you'd knew before starting your transition.

For some context I'm a trans man and I'm looking forward to:

- Testosterone: my main goals being having a stronger physique, having a deeper voice (I'm trying to voice train but it's very hard for me ngl), bottom growth and fat redistribution (no I do not care for facial hair, I would get laser to remove it actually)

- Top surgery (a must for me): would pay for it myself unlike HRT so I can have more control over my own results

- Hysterectomy: would have it just in case I stop hormones (for whatever reasons) and still not have my period but leaving my ovaries (I'm not sure if I'd still have periods if I leave my ovaries? I think not but correct me if I'm wrong 🙏🏻)

Any suggestions and important things to know? Thank you all!

Heheheheheheeeee I'm so normal about thiiiissss heheheheheh I so not wanna throw a termonuclear missile on my exact location hehehehehheheheheheheeeeee heheheheheheeeee hehehheheheheheheheheeeehehehheheeee hehehehehhehehehehehehehheheheeeeeeehehhheeehehehheheheeeehehhehehheheeheehheeeehehehehehheheeeeeeh727273882919e9928382822hehheheheeeeee

Why can I just be a tomboy? I don't want to disappoint my mother, I love her. She's very dear to me and she doesn't accept it, even if she's subtle.

She loves me dearly too, but I feel it'll be conditional even for a while if I transition.

Why why why why why why why.

I just want to be happy and only worry about getting a job.

I don't want to picture a neat future where my family looks at me with disgust, where they ignore me, where my mother doesn't live as much.

I'm crying over night again for this shit and trying to convince myself once again. I know that binding for 5+ years is not a symptom of someone who's faking it, but sometimes I wish it was.

Ik ik, Twitter, ik.

​

But anyway, I saw this post where a person (@c_onfurence_0) made furry art to express how all trans body types are valid. I personally thought it was pretty nice, yk, trans men can have wide hips and that's fine, trans women can have body hair and that's fine, etc.

But I also saw a lot of backlash to it? From other trans people. Like saying "just call us the slur atp" "this is just validity slop" and stuff like that.

Can someone that has seen the post and disliked it enlighten me on the reason why? I personally don't have a clue, maybe I'm reading too little into it

EDIT: aight guys I just checked the account of the person who called it "validity slop", seems like she (I assume..) is a trans woman who calls herself a femboy. Screaming 4chan to me 😭

"My reaction when the top surgery is tomorrow"

"I'm *insert a number less than 25* and I'm stealth*"*

"My effects on T are ..."

"Yeah I came out to my parents when I was 13 and started my transition!"

"How do my top surgery results look?"

"I'm starting T tomorrow!"

"Me and my partner ..."

"Oh yeah my parents struggled a bit but they support me so much"

"My parents support me"

"My voice got so deep in the first 3 months"

"I've been on T for ..."

"I'm so glad I no longer have my period!"

"I love my bottom growth"

"I have muscles now that I'm on T"

"I've been stealth for ..."

​

​

​

Congratufuckinglations. Oh my god can the sun just EXPLODEEEE GOD i fucking hate my fucking body

TW: internalized transphobia. I'm deeply sorry if what I say makes someone sad, it's not my intention! But I don't know how else to express what I feel. Forgive me.

​

And also sorry if my spelling is weird, I don't have the best English!

​

I've seen some posts about impostor syndrome in the sub but none of the posts related to what I'm feeling atm.

​

For some context I'm 20yo and pre-op/T (not by choice but due a difficult situation with my parents), apart from the fact that I'm really picky about crushes I don't date because in my mind it's just impossible for any gay guy to see me and feel attracted to me or being with a bi guy and him seeing me like an actual guy.

​

Now, whenever I'm scrolling on social media or I'm watching a random show and something related to gay men comes on I can't help but feel like I'm just a walking joke to laugh at.

​

It's like I imagine myself thinking "This is targeted at me/This is about me because I'm a gay man" and instantly thinking of others just laughing at my audacity for including myself with the "real gay men". Like "how dare I—a trans man—include myself in media that's aimed at ""real"" gay men that are in situations only ""real"" gay men would be in".

​

Where I'm trying to get is: if you guys have gone through this, what's the solution? Have y'all found a therapist and solved it with them? Is it something I have to work with on my own?

​

Thank you kindly in advance and again my apologies if this makes somebody dysphoric.

Why is everyone around me so lucky to have progressive parents but me? Why does it have to be me? Why does my life feel like it has been on pause for 7 years just because I can't be me?

Why am I so unlucky? I don't get it. Even when I try to be brave and come out my own mother assumes I'll grow out of it. Do my choices as an adult don't matter to you? Didn't you have two whole years to process it? Why can't anyone be reasonable?

I'd love to say I could give up and live as a tomboy but I can't. Transitioning is my only choice and I'm going crazy. It's like I'll never be able to reach testosterone and let alone top surgery, which feels like a lucid dream.

I'm so tired. I'm so tired of lying to people who aren't my friends about who I am. I'm tired of not being able to progress. I'm tired about coming out with plans to leave my house and ignoring my parents for years just so they can accept me, their kid.

And here I am, writing shit on reddit because who am I going to talk to if not strangers on the internet...