u/GilbertT19

I’ve heard people if you’re not sure, make that a no and move on to someone you can fully say yes to. But what if the answer really should be a yes and you’re just overthinking it all?

For personal context, I recently rejected a female friend I confessed to last year (quick summary, started as friends, over time I thought “yes she’s cute and even though I have seen prettier women I think her personality is great. Lemme see where this goes”). We stayed good friends ever since, though

I rejected her because a few weeks ago she told me she was open to going on a date. After thinking about it for over a week I said I’d rather stay friends. In my head I thought if my physical attraction concern was gonna hold me back then I owe her the respect to say no for both our sakes.

Note that we will remain friends cuz as verbatim she said she’s fine with either path whether we date or not. I assume she isn’t lying to me.

But now I’m wondering if I should have said yes to a date just to see where it goes (we have hung out one on one and I’ve taken her to dinners but I never called them dates)

So this is a mix of a question in general as well as advice. Thoughts?
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Edit: I called her a few days ago (after posting this) and told her let’s just stay friends. She’s very happy with that decision and she’s happy I called her and made things clearer. so uh yayyy

I’ve been close friends with this guy since college. We talked every single day since graduation, gamed together a lot (not as much lately but cumulatively), the whole thing.

A few days ago, I was privately looking at my new dating profile with other friends and felt embarrassed to tell him. Earlier I’d said I wasn’t in the mood to game. When he asked what I was streaming I panicked and said I was on a game.

He got suspicious, I tried to walk it back, then admitted it was the dating profile and offered to show him. He said no and got really pissed, told me I lie very easily, said “fuck you,” “sick of your shit,” and “I’m all set buddy.” Then went silent.

For context, I’ve had a pattern of sometimes saying I don’t want to game and then doing it anyway, and I’ve hidden my Discord status before so he wouldn’t call me lazy. He’s also had some strict rules (like lately conditioning gaming on whether I went to the gym, or saying I should play with other friends instead of him). Sometimes his call-outs felt helpful, sometimes they felt heavy.

The next day I sent a short message basically saying what he said got to me, I locked in (which was true but ofc he has no way to know) and got stuff done, thanks, and asked if he wanted to play. No reply.

A couple days later after getting advice from family I sent one more short message: “Hey boss, hope you’re doing well. Sorry about what happened.” Still nothing. It’s now been almost a week since he last spoke to me. I think he’s been active on Discord and we’d be on the PS5 simultaneously but hasn’t said a word to me.

I know I screwed up by lying in the moment instead of just admitting the dating profile. I don’t want to keep hiding normal stuff. At the same time the way he came at me felt pretty harsh, and the total silence after years of daily talking hurts.

I probably shouldn’t chase or keep messaging. Just looking for outside perspective: what do I do?

Not out of desperation necessarily

But I was kinda mocked / somewhat bullied in late elementary and middle school. I wasn’t really liked but it was partially my own fault cuz I would say a lot of stupid stuff and act irrational.

I have ran into and talked to a few people since then from that school/era. Some are fine now

I ran into former mockers like 2 years ago who I didn’t like before but our catch up was great and we mutually apologized.

In college, I ran into the cousin of a former crush back then but her response after the cousin name dropped me was “ew” lol. Her loss, but I wish her well. No hate here

Now, in my current city there’s someone from that era living here. She is still friends with some people from middle school but if I reconnected, idk if she’d be weirded out and tell her friends about me or if she’d be fine with it

Note that she was one of the nicer ones to me at the time.

So… do I attempt to reconnect or do I just wish her well from a distance and stick with my current people here?

I’ve had some games where I’m not playing that well and have been asked to switch off. Sometimes I do sometimes I don’t.

For example, recently I was reaper on Nepal 6v6 (forgot if comp or qp) but I had a negative K/D ratio by end of round 1. Switched to Zen round 2, and while we won, I wonder if me switching to Zen was the main reason. Esp when I got asked by half of my teammates to switch off reaper 😭

So… does the answer to this question depend on QP vs Comp? Or something else

What do y’all think?

After being stuck in Silver and Bronze since 2016, and only getting into Gold once, this season I just made Emerald 2 after placements. Super proud of myself personally and I think it suites me. I’d prob suck at super high ranks but I know more than the fundamentals IMO

But sometimes I still don't play too well even 10 years later (on and off)
My recent match: XEPETM. I am same person as username, Reaper round one, Zen round 2.

I obviously didn't do my best as Reaper here even though I consider myself good with him overall. After a bit of pressure but also lack of heals besides Kiri, I switched to Zen and we still won 2-0.
Now... Isn't the main point regardless of QP or Comp to have fun?

If someone plays comp but sucks should they stop playing? Do they deserve a lower rank?
What do y'all think?

For example, our boy Luffy

No one’s perfect but IMO I think him and Law kidnapping Caesar still feels a bit hypocritical with respect to Luffys morals of letting people be free. He only seems to do so for people he cares about and not everyone

Like not freeing antagonists from their own evil chains they set themselves

I genuinely thought looks don’t matter, so can someone explain it

I apologize if this Is a triggering question for people who might think their ex deserves 0 good things in their lives but I wanted to ask regardless

Obviously he ain’t perfect but Luffy is of course pretty smart emotionally

Someone minor I thought of tho was Fukabashi from Fishman Island. The Ryugu Kingdok could’ve executed Hody Jones and his crew but instead they were pitiful while simultaneously vowing they wouldn’t let the hatred they try to spread grow but rather forgiveness and love

Esp with how Fukaboshi tells Hody all that to him when they visit him in jail

Who else?

Like in the sense that you want them to do better and be better people? Or is it mostly hate and/or indifference towards them without caring how much better (or unfortunately worse) they might act or get

Not judging at all. I know it’s a minority take but for those that are in said minority, would you mind sharing your POV?

Or do some people not deserve it? Like criminals who did heinous crimes and whatnot?

We tend to choose who we care about. Sometimes we choose to stop caring about someone but inside our hearts it’s inevitable that we still care a small bit.

With that said, do you only care about someone if they’re good to you or they’re a good person?