u/IllustriousWall1564

I am currently going through a separation with two kids and I feel very alone. I could do with some parental support, I don’t really have it. My mother isnt in the picture and my dad is mostly checked out.

I’m 32 with two young kids and this is the scariest thing I’ve ever done. My partner and I were together 8 years and it was one hell of a ride due to his substance abuse issues. I tried very hard to make this work and help him but it got too much and I have to walk away.

I am so scared to do this. I have very few friends and family hasn’t been very supportive. I’ve been a stay at home mom for most of this so my circle is very small to non existent. My ex and I are on good terms thank goodness but I still just feel so alone with no one to talk to and I wish like hell I had a mother to give me a hug and help me through this. Everything is changing and although I know it’s the right thing to do I find myself second guessing everything because I have no one beside me to hold my hand.

I have a 5 year old and an 8 month old. I have been with my partner 8 years and 7 years ago he bought the house we live in. Sadly it has come to us separating after years of struggle with his substance abuse problems among other things.

This whole time he had been the main breadwinner, there was a year where I worked full time, but other than that I have been the stay at home mother and doing casual work here and there as that is what worked for our family. I have held the entire mental load of the house and kids, and most of the time done parenting alone while he struggled with his substance abuse problems.

Legally in this separation I am entitled to half of everything however I am only taking a small percentage of the equity of the house in order to secure a deposit on a home for myself to raise our kids in since I will have majority of custody.

Today I learnt my brother told him I deserve nothing. And that that brother and his wife spoke poorly of me to another family member calling me a bitch for even thinking I deserved anything because I didn’t contribute enough financially. I am so flabbergasted and hurt. These people know a small amount of what I have gone through which should be damn well enough to have some respect. But to think I have no value because “all I did was raise the kids” has just rocked me to my core. These people don’t want kids, and fair enough but to place such little value on me and all I do had me so shocked.

Luckily my ex and I are super amicable and hes more than happy to give me a little money (much less than I could be taking if I wanted) so that HIS KIDS can have a good life.

I don’t know where people get off, but I needed to YELL today.

ETA: I know you are all trying to help by telling me to take half, however I won’t be doing that because I don’t think it’s fair for reasons I don’t really want to delve into. I am content with taking enough to get a house and am an educated woman that will be able to go into work once I’m ready to. Their dad is still going to be in the picture, child support is figured out, don’t worry they won’t be getting short changed.

Sadly my partner and I are separating after 8 years of on again off again relationship and I’m wondering what my legal stand point is regarding the family home.

We started dating in 2018 and broke up in 2019. He bought a house after that break up and I found out I was pregnant. I put zero downpayment he pays the entire deposit. I live with him as a couple from 2019 until 2021, our son born in 2020. During that time I paid rent and he paid mortgage.
2021 we seperate and I move out for 3 months. Late 2021 I move back in as flatmates to raise our son under the same roof. I pay rent during this time, sometimes reduced amounts because I’m doing all the household work, hes paying the mortgage.
2024 we decide to get back together as a couple and our son is born 2025. And now seperating after almost 2 years back together. I have only worked part time during this period and not paid rent but rather done the household duties and pregnancy/raising children etc while all money I earnt from part time work and parental leave went back into the household/children.

Now this is not the scenario I foresaw happening, however it just is the way things have gone and I do believe I have some kind of entitlement to the house, and I don’t want 50/50 but I do think I’m entitled to something considering the time and energy I’ve put in to this family, even if there was not hefty monetary value from my side of things. He also thinks I am entitled to something. His parents do not. What is my standing point here?

Finally ended things with my now ex (father of my 8mo and 5yo) tonight after 8 YEARS of trying to work through his addiction and selfishness and our incompatibility issues.

I thought I’d feel something, anything at all. But I feel nothing. I’m not scared of the future, I’m not feeling upset about getting to this point. I’m just numb?

I think perhaps because this has been such a journey, and such a difficult one at that, that my entire being is just tired and ready for it to be over??

I’m not sure. I just know that I don’t actually know what happens next but I look forward to it, I’m ready to be a single parent.