u/IndependenceCalm8753

My second was born six weeks ago and it has been… full on. My first has naturally struggled with the shift but she’s also autistic so we have had some additional challenges.

We are getting there but I just feel bad for the baby. I am obviously meeting all her basic needs but that’s about all I have the time for most of the time. She also cries for longer than I am comfortable with sometimes but I am literally stretched so thin I have to choose her crying sometimes as much as I don’t like to do that. I feel like the only time I actually have to engage with her properly is when my eldest is in bed but I go to bed around an hour after her!

I just feel like she gets dragged along, when she cries a boob gets put in her mouth, when she poos she gets a quick change and for the rest of it she is pretty much strapped to my sweaty chest staring up at my chin or asleep whilst we go about our day/ I manage my eldest’s 100th meltdown of the day. I know she’s only little but I am just consciously aware that my eldest got a LOT more attention than the baby does at the moment and that makes me feel bad!

My second child was born six weeks ago and my 4yo struggled a lot with the change for a month or so but has recently been a lot more like herself which is nice.

I breastfeed the baby and today whilst she was having a feed my 4yo said “I wish I could do that with you mummy… can I have some of the other boobie?” I was a little bit caught off guard, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with what she’s asking and I’m assuming what she’s really saying is “I want to make sure I’m still close to you too”, but she also looked really upset when I said this milk is just for her sister and didn’t understand why. I breastfed her until she was 2.5yo, I’m not sure if she remembers it or not.

I ended up saying that there are lots of special things we can do together like having a big cuddle or having a hot chocolate together (as we did that earlier), but she was adamant that she wanted to breastfeed as well (this isn’t something I personally want to do but there’s no judgement to anyone who does).

Does anyone have any suggestions for things I can say to her that might help? I should say this is also coming off the back of finally weaning her off her dummy so there may be an element of just missing that comfort too. Thank you!

We recently weaned my 4yo off her dummy (in the day) because the use of it was so frequent that it was starting to interfere with her speech and communication, which are areas she struggles in anyway. She still has it at night because it helps her calm down.

Ever since we weaned off them in the day, she is biting her nails almost all day. Either that or has her fingers in her mouth. We did buy sensory chew toys and offered a few times as a replacement for the dummy but she didn’t like them. The only thing is she is biting her nails down to the skin and then sometimes her skin too. She is mainly doing this when she’s at preschool or we are out of the house and those are the times when she tends to feel the most overwhelm.

Is there anything we can do? I want her to do what she needs to do to regulate but not if it’s going to cause her pain. Also tbh with her fingers always in her mouth we are dealing with the same speech and communication block as the dummy anyway. Has anyone else experienced this?

When my first was born I posted in the Facebook group car seat safety uk to ask for a fit check as a first time parent, and I don’t know how else to say this, but they were so… mean? 😂 I’m not too bothered about it but it kind of put me off using that group again and I just found it weird that people were so hostile about car seats lol. Anyway!

Does anyone have any recommendations for a similar group, preferably with admins who know how to give advice on a fit? I’d like a fit check on my six week old in her seat but I’m not sure where to go.

Thanks in advance!

Please don’t judge me, I know my daughter is probably way too old to have a dummy. She has autism and it’s currently her only way that she is able to regulate after meltdowns and just in general despite trying lots of different things. Her sleep is still shocking and we have a baby so we have also been hesitating because it’s one of the only ways the 4yo settles at night too and we are exhausted. She still wakes up 1-2 times a night.

But my husband and I are in agreement that it’s probably time for them to go now. She is relying on them more and more since the baby arrived and I know some level of regression is to be expected but we have gone from only using it at nighttime to her having it in almost all of the time that she’s home. She doesn’t have them out of the house.

Part of me doesn’t know whether she should keep it due to her having autism and also the fact that the baby transition is still pretty fresh (she is 6 weeks old), but my gut feeling is that she shouldn’t have it anymore. She is verbal but when her dummy is in she pretty much doesn’t respond to anything. Her biggest area of struggle is social communication so it’s something we need to practice a lot at home and that’s a lot harder to do with her dummy in all the time. I’m also worried about her teeth and she will be going to school in September too so it’s something I’d rather do before another huge transition. We do have dummy breaks, but the meltdowns about them are absolutely monumental.

Please can someone advise how to wean an older child off the dummy? I have seen things about the dummy fairy and I have recently just bought a huge Barbie bundle from Vinted with lots of stuff she has wanted for a long time (Barbie is her special interest) so I’m wondering whether to use that as the dummy fairy gift if it arrives. I have also seen about cutting a hole in the dummy though I’m no sure that approach will go down very well with my daughter. Also if there are any other ASD parents who have been in my position please tell me whether you feel this is the right approach, I don’t have any friends with autistic children and I can’t tell whether it’s unfair to take away what is clearly an emotional regulation tool for her, but it also doesn’t feel right that she still has it.

Again I know we have probably left this too late, I beat myself up a lot about it so please don’t judge, I promise there’s nothing anyone can say that I haven’t already told myself! Thanks so much in advance.

My 4yo’s favourite films are zootropolis 1&2. Unfortunately the one quote she decided to choose as a vocal stim from zootropolis 2 is “it takes a threesome to be some, but fourway to BUST YA DOORWAY!"

this started on Friday evening and has continued through to Sunday evening. Can’t wait for her to say it totally out of any context at preschool on Monday…

Im currently taking this due to my c section incision getting infected. I have a 5 week old EBF baby and the doctor said these are safe for breastfeeding but ever since taking them my baby has been having several loose bowel movements a day and seems to be having a lot more gas discomfort than before too.

Just wondering if this might be related to the antibiotic? She still has plenty of wet nappies and is feeding fine! Has anyone else been on this antibiotic whilst breastfeeding and found the same?

Im currently taking this due to my c section incision getting infected. I have a 5 week old EBF baby and the doctor said these are safe for breastfeeding but ever since taking them my baby has been using several loose bowel movements a day and seems to be having more gas discomfort than before too.

Just wondering if this might be related to the antibiotic? She still has plenty of wet nappies and is feeding fine! Has anyone else been on this antibiotic whilst breastfeeding and found the same?

My husband’s paternity leave has come to an end and he goes back to work tomorrow. It’ll be my first time looking after my 4 year old and 4 week old by myself. My expectations are pretty low as it has not been an easy transition for the 4yo so far anyway, and that’s with one of us always being available to her in this time 😳 I’m exclusively breastfeeding and seem to only produce children who are allergic to sleep so the 4 week old is on me pretty much all the time at the moment. As mentioned 4yo is struggling and it’s aaaall showing up in her behaviour and listening (or lack of) right now.

Please can I have all your tips for managing two kids alone for the first time?! I would appreciate anything no matter how big or small! Right now the only goal I have is not completely losing my mind 😂 Thanks!

I am 5 weeks postpartum with my second baby. I did have a c section with some complications, they had to change the direction of my internal incision due to my womb growing in a way that meant they couldn’t access the baby with a horizontal incision, and as a result I haemorrhaged pretty badly, so recovery has been a bit more painful than my first c section recovery, and lot slower too as I have ongoing isses with my iron levels following the haemorrhage.

But I have like, barely left the house. I have walked with my husband to nursery pick up just to get out the house when I can but that’s only like 20 minutes out of the day. I have gone to the local garden centre twice, and to the duck pond and park with my 4yo twice. Again very local and very short trips.

We are lucky to have a garden so everyone is at least getting fresh air everyday and my 4yo goes to nursery three days a week at the moment but she is clearly bored out of her mind on our days together and it’s not really helping with her struggling to accept her new baby sister. I know there’s nothing wrong with kids being bored but we used to go out and do something every day (nothing extravagant just things like walks/ different parks/ woods/ library etc) before and it’s also something she really benefits from as she’s autistic and gets a lot of regulation from being able to run around outside. She has been doing lots with my husband at the weekend and I miss doing it with them/ she misses me being there. I feel so guilty about how much less time we’re spending together and I cry about it daily tbh.

But I’m just still struggling, a lot more than I thought I would be by 5 weeks. I’m still taking paracetamol and ibuprofen daily, I’m too tired to function most days despite the iron tablets, I do feel pretty low as well and getting out just feels like too much mentally a lot of the time.

Is this normal? Should I be doing more at 5 weeks postpartum?

And if you have two or more kids when did it get easier and less overwhelming to leave the house with them?

I breastfed my first child for nearly three years and never thought to try my own milk for some reason, but I’m breastfeeding my second child now and suddenly realised it’s my only chance to sample the goods because she’s our last child.

Holy cow (pardon the pun) it’s so sweet! It’s like a lot sweeter than I realised and really thin too. It kinda tastes like the milk at the bottom of a sugary cereal bowl lol. No wonder my kids have always been so boob obsessed!

Does anyone have any experience with this please? Specifically in newborns where there is no treatment other than monitoring and saline drops.

Took my daughter to A&E this morning because she was having chest retractions when breathing. The doctor and paediatrician agreed the retractions were a sign she was struggling to breathe but then they did 3 deep suctions of her nose and her breathing settled a bit. They said she has bronchiolitis and that because it’s viral there’s nothin they can do other than watching for feeding or breathing problems which we can do at home and come straight in if there are any signs of her struggling.

I’m so so anxious. She’s so little. My toddler was sick last week with a temperature and cough and my husband has had a cough for three weeks now so I’m guessing she has caught it from one of them even though we have tried to be careful. I just don’t want to miss any signs that she’s struggling too much and I have no idea how we’re going to sleep tonight. I hate that we can’t even really help her that much. My eldest had bronchiolitis when she was about 1 but she had the help of an inhaler to manage it which at least made me feel a bit less anxious about it.

Does anyone have any advice or experiences to share of bronchiolitis in really little ones all please?