u/JW_in_AA

Hi! I'm an ex-Jehovah's Witness and an author. I began writing and creating after my father refused a blood transfusion and died when I was 13. During Covid I became homeless and slowly have rebuilt my life my nothing. I've been very active in the exjw space since then and I've written books and done some things that some people call "activism." I wrote this and thought I'd share. I hope that's cool.

A Religious Deconstruction Manifesto

by Micah Allen Losh

I.

I believe in challenging power. The closing line of the book I wrote my son is: "...As you drift off and when you wake up remember this lesson: Teachers, rules, laws, and parents all must be questioned."

I don't seek followers and I'm not an authority figure. I'm an artist documenting my religious deconstruction aloud. I spent 37 years in a doomsday cult and I don't believe I'm immune to propaganda, logical fallacies, or flawed thinking.

I believe authenticity will repel and draw the right people.

I believe in effort and pushing myself daily without any expectation of success or progress. "Consistent effort toward a goal will yield results," "What stands in the way becomes the way," and "The steamroller doesn't determine whether or not the object will be broken. It's up to the object," and the Finnish concept of sisu are all concepts I've used as a foundation for my life.

I've realized that not matter how intentional or consistently I behave that everyone will experience me in a different way than I believe myself to be. I don't even exist. I find that liberating.

You cannot grow and be comfortable simultaneously for multiple reasons: comfort seeks preservation, growth requires rupture, and safety is not comfort. You can learn to become comfortable with the feeling of discomfort.

II.

I was kept in a trauma loop by ex-Jehovah's Witness content. Many psychiatrists believe that by ruminating on what was taken from us we do not experience it as a memory. We experience it as a live, happening-now danger. There is physiological evidence that supports these claims.

I think it's interesting how Watchtower teaches that goodness equates compliance. Every time I've suggested something that is non-compliant with exjw norms it seems the exact same reflexes trigger. The Governing Body laid out and controlled every aspect of your life and if you believe they didn't consider who you'd be away from the group that's credulous at best.

I believe they say apostates are angry to disenfranchise you from your anger. Anger is a gift. Anger is one of the stages of grief. I believe the Governing Body wants you obsessed with the past. An inverse position to your former position doesn't change an existence dominated by changing Watchtower policy. If you don't grieve it's unlikely you'll leave.

I find the notion of a change from men who cover up pedophilia and allow people to refuse blood transfusions to be repugnant and absurd. Scientology, Mormons, and the Catholic church have all been exposed. Do you see any of them closing their doors. I believe the idea of Watchtower crumbling is rooted firmly in delusion. It's possible they might end but it's not plausible.

Being polite isn't the same thing as being kind.

III. Power Dynamics in Post-Cult Spaces

Imagine breaking free from a cult and entering a recovery forum run by your former oppressors? The former elders, ministerial servants, and pioneers. The very people who actively policed your personal life and surveillance-monitored your family, signed the paperwork to disfellowship your friends and enforce your isolation, and maintained the metrics and kept the compliance machine running smoothly.

Why, the second they throw away their lapel pins, does this community immediately treat their opinions as high-value content? I watch a community of survivors look directly at their former enforcers and say, "Please tell me how to process the trauma you helped create." It seems to be a psychological contradiction. Can you truly deconstruct a system while you are still treating its middle managers like celebrities?

Conditioning doesn't disappear because you physically walk out of a Kingdom Hall. We were trained to look at the stage, sit quietly, and take notes from men with titles. Our brains were hardwired to equate a loud, confident voice at a podium with absolute truth. You enter a recovery space and it feels familiar, doesn't it? Our compliance muscles flex automatically. A former enforcer’s loud voice and organizational vocabulary feels safe and familiar. It feels like wisdom.

We were told to avoid 'independent thinking.' We were told your heart was 'treacherous.' What if people were lying in wait to replace the Governing Body-sized hole in your heart? How can you develop your own internal compass in that environment?

Because someone ran an audio-sound desk, read a Watchtower, or scheduled a cleaning roster doesn't make them anything close to resembling a therapist. Running a congregation under the direction of a corporate hierarchy requires zero emotional intelligence or psychological training. It requires compliance. It requires boot-licking. They lost their status, titles, and their automatic respect when they threw away their lapel pins. They possess no clinical training to handle complex PTSD or nervous system dysregulation. They treat a profound neurological injury with their amateur, box-checking mindset that ran field service meetings. Guiding you to freedom, or using your trauma to maintain their lost relevance?

Wouldn't true deconstruction mean destroying the stage entirely, not changing who's on the podium? I certainly do not seek to be your leader or the voice of exjw. Shouldn't you be gathering tools, healing your nervous system, and celebrating your life, your passions? Why look to those who held clipboards and washed windows? They do not have the keys to your freedom. They worked to keep you in your former cage! It's likely all they possess are the blueprints of what you escaped.

Stumbling across ex-JW content didn't save you. The algorithm showing you a video or a thread didn't save you. You had to look at that information, weigh it against reality, and make the conscious decision to believe yourself over the organization. If you don't trust your own mind to do that, you are still handing your power to whatever screen is sitting in front of you. Your heart isn't treacherous. The only thing that saved you is your own critical thinking. If you think that isn't true, what will you do if you ever stumble across a copy of The Book of Mormon? You can't look at information and decide for yourself. You'll become a Mormon, right? These people have no authority. Only what you give them.

IV. Common Logical Fallacies in Post-Cult Spaces

Leaving a high-control group like Jehovah's Witnesses means leaving the theology behind. It doesn't automatically mean we left the cognitive wiring behind. After years inside an environment that actively penalizes independent thought, our brains adopt specific shortcuts to survive. It's highly likely we will copy-paste these exact same mental habits into our lives after leaving the cult—simply changing the vocabulary while maintaining the rigid framework.

Here are the specific patterns I keep seeing repeated in activist and ex-JW spaces:

• The Tu Quoque (The "Look Who's Talking" Evasion): Dismissing a valid critique of community behavior or "activism" by pointing out that the original cult is still far worse. This does not magically cure a lesser rot. Using the cult's extreme behavior as a baseline to excuse poor ethics, grifting, or manipulation in activist spaces is a direct evasion of accountability.
• The Binary Fallacy (False Dilemma): Insisting that others must entirely validate the mainstream activist narrative. This is direct algorithmic thinking inherited straight from the Watchtower. You can fully acknowledge the harms of the Watchtower while simultaneously pointing out the flaws within the community that left it.
• The Genetic Fallacy (Source Dismissal): Judging the validity of an argument solely based on who or where it comes from, rather than evaluating the logic of the argument itself. Truth is completely independent of the person speaking it. If an idea or behavioral critique is objectively accurate, rejecting it simply because it triggers a reflex or reminds you of old authority figures is an emotional reaction, not an intellectual one.
• Appeal to Emotion (Trauma as a Shield): Using shared pain, trauma, or emotional distress to shield an invalid or irrational argument from logical scrutiny. Empathy is vital for healing, but intense emotion cannot alter objective facts or validate flawed reasoning. When trauma is used as an absolute shield against critique, the community stops being a space for recovery and instead becomes an intellectual safe space where bad ideas cannot be challenged.
• The Straw Man (Caricaturing the Critique): Misrepresenting a critique of community dynamics, blowing it out of proportion, and then attacking the exaggerated version. This is done because a caricature is much easier to defeat than the actual critique. It takes zero effort to argue against a caricature. [1]
• The Ad Hominem (Circumstantial Attack): Attacking a critic's personal background, current lifestyle, tone, or perceived motives instead of addressing the core logic of their statement. This is the ultimate tool of intellectual bankruptcy. It shifts the focus from what is being said to who is saying it. If someone audits your personality or character to dismiss your argument, they've already admitted they lack the logical tools to dismantle your point.

V.

The Virtue of Apathy: Every so often I discover I’m disliked, strongly disliked, or hated. I consider this a win. Why waste another thought on them? While it can be painful when you genuinely liked them, cared about them, or wanted to help them I believe you should strive to stop thinking about the person. With continued effort I I’ve found this becomes easier.

People who tell you your positions, intentions, or emotions are intellectually dishonest. I believe people who value you should inquire your beliefs and why you hold them. I do not seek an echo chamber. I’m friends with people of faith and I have no respect for faith. Many of them probably believe I’ll burn in hell while I have strong opinions about their journey. I’ve mocked faith with a purpose and it was never to mock people or disrespect them. It seems many people are more inclined to place you in a box so they can “understand” you instead of asking you questions and comparing your actions.

I think post-cult spaces have brought out the worst in me. I’m not blaming them for my actions or filled with regret. I’m a smart ass that enjoys debate. If someone engages in a good-faith debate I’m polite. I like talking shit and after facing some truly horrible things in my life I truly don’t care what people think although I’m sure some might not believe that. While mocking people you consider to be stupid is fun it is also like shooting fish in a barrel. It can be painful that people view you in a way you don’t believe yourself to be.

VI.

I accepted a year apart from my son, seeing him only twice. But it taught me to accept anything. I have used my father’s death to expose my former faith and I have essentially lived on my phone in an attempt to escape horrible living conditions but it can take me away from my son, my passions, and the people I love.

The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen has flown across the world to see me twice. I’m planning to visit her. I have wonderful friends. I’ve shared my art and thoughts online and I’ve received love and hatred. Exactly what an artist seeks.

My son is amazing. On our first Christmas I bought him a Jason puzzle and he asked if we could put it together. We got further than last time. We sorted the edge pieces and we sorted the rest by color. I’m gonna buy a frame for it and we’ll work on it more. I tell him about my mistakes, what I’ve learned, and why everything was worth it. It’s the price of his freedom. When he said the puzzle had a lot of pieces and that it would take awhile I quote Marcus Aurelius to him. “What stands in the way becomes the way.”

I teach my boy about Stoicism. When people ask me about him I often reply “He shall lead millions” in a deadpan voice. Dad jokes can be deadpan and slightly sinister.

It took me six months to realize that the past has been robbing me of the present. That’s a mistake and it’s a lot quicker than 37 years in a cult.

#religiousdeconstruction

Hi! I'm an ex-Jehovah's Witness and an author. I began writing and creating after my father refused a blood transfusion and died when I was 13. During Covid I became homeless and slowly have rebuilt my life my nothing. I've been very active in the exjw space since then and I've written books and done some things that some people call "activism." I wrote this and thought I'd share. I hope that's cool.

A Religious Deconstruction Manifesto

by Micah Allen Losh

I.

I believe in challenging power. The closing line of the book I wrote my son is: "...As you drift off and when you wake up remember this lesson: Teachers, rules, laws, and parents all must be questioned."

I don't seek followers and I'm not an authority figure. I'm an artist documenting my religious deconstruction aloud. I spent 37 years in a doomsday cult and I don't believe I'm immune to propaganda, logical fallacies, or flawed thinking.

I believe authenticity will repel and draw the right people.

I believe in effort and pushing myself daily without any expectation of success or progress. "Consistent effort toward a goal will yield results," "What stands in the way becomes the way," and "The steamroller doesn't determine whether or not the object will be broken. It's up to the object," and the Finnish concept of sisu are all concepts I've used as a foundation for my life.

I've realized that not matter how intentional or consistently I behave that everyone will experience me in a different way than I believe myself to be. I don't even exist. I find that liberating.

You cannot grow and be comfortable simultaneously for multiple reasons: comfort seeks preservation, growth requires rupture, and safety is not comfort. You can learn to become comfortable with the feeling of discomfort.

II.

I was kept in a trauma loop by ex-Jehovah's Witness content. Many psychiatrists believe that by ruminating on what was taken from us we do not experience it as a memory. We experience it as a live, happening-now danger. There is physiological evidence that supports these claims.

I think it's interesting how Watchtower teaches that goodness equates compliance. Every time I've suggested something that is non-compliant with exjw norms it seems the exact same reflexes trigger. The Governing Body laid out and controlled every aspect of your life and if you believe they didn't consider who you'd be away from the group that's credulous at best.

I believe they say apostates are angry to disenfranchise you from your anger. Anger is a gift. Anger is one of the stages of grief. I believe the Governing Body wants you obsessed with the past. An inverse position to your former position doesn't change an existence dominated by changing Watchtower policy. If you don't grieve it's unlikely you'll leave.

I find the notion of a change from men who cover up pedophilia and allow people to refuse blood transfusions to be repugnant and absurd. Scientology, Mormons, and the Catholic church have all been exposed. Do you see any of them closing their doors. I believe the idea of Watchtower crumbling is rooted firmly in delusion. It's possible they might end but it's not plausible.

Being polite isn't the same thing as being kind.

III. Power Dynamics in Post-Cult Spaces

Imagine breaking free from a cult and entering a recovery forum run by your former oppressors? The former elders, ministerial servants, and pioneers. The very people who actively policed your personal life and surveillance-monitored your family, signed the paperwork to disfellowship your friends and enforce your isolation, and maintained the metrics and kept the compliance machine running smoothly.

Why, the second they throw away their lapel pins, does this community immediately treat their opinions as high-value content? I watch a community of survivors look directly at their former enforcers and say, "Please tell me how to process the trauma you helped create." It seems to be a psychological contradiction. Can you truly deconstruct a system while you are still treating its middle managers like celebrities?

Conditioning doesn't disappear because you physically walk out of a Kingdom Hall. We were trained to look at the stage, sit quietly, and take notes from men with titles. Our brains were hardwired to equate a loud, confident voice at a podium with absolute truth. You enter a recovery space and it feels familiar, doesn't it? Our compliance muscles flex automatically. A former enforcer’s loud voice and organizational vocabulary feels safe and familiar. It feels like wisdom.

We were told to avoid 'independent thinking.' We were told your heart was 'treacherous.' What if people were lying in wait to replace the Governing Body-sized hole in your heart? How can you develop your own internal compass in that environment?

Because someone ran an audio-sound desk, read a Watchtower, or scheduled a cleaning roster doesn't make them anything close to resembling a therapist. Running a congregation under the direction of a corporate hierarchy requires zero emotional intelligence or psychological training. It requires compliance. It requires boot-licking. They lost their status, titles, and their automatic respect when they threw away their lapel pins. They possess no clinical training to handle complex PTSD or nervous system dysregulation. They treat a profound neurological injury with their amateur, box-checking mindset that ran field service meetings. Guiding you to freedom, or using your trauma to maintain their lost relevance?

Wouldn't true deconstruction mean destroying the stage entirely, not changing who's on the podium? I certainly do not seek to be your leader or the voice of exjw. Shouldn't you be gathering tools, healing your nervous system, and celebrating your life, your passions? Why look to those who held clipboards and washed windows? They do not have the keys to your freedom. They worked to keep you in your former cage! It's likely all they possess are the blueprints of what you escaped.

Stumbling across ex-JW content didn't save you. The algorithm showing you a video or a thread didn't save you. You had to look at that information, weigh it against reality, and make the conscious decision to believe yourself over the organization. If you don't trust your own mind to do that, you are still handing your power to whatever screen is sitting in front of you. Your heart isn't treacherous. The only thing that saved you is your own critical thinking. If you think that isn't true, what will you do if you ever stumble across a copy of The Book of Mormon? You can't look at information and decide for yourself. You'll become a Mormon, right? These people have no authority. Only what you give them.

IV. Common Logical Fallacies in Post-Cult Spaces

Leaving a high-control group like Jehovah's Witnesses means leaving the theology behind. It doesn't automatically mean we left the cognitive wiring behind. After years inside an environment that actively penalizes independent thought, our brains adopt specific shortcuts to survive. It's highly likely we will copy-paste these exact same mental habits into our lives after leaving the cult—simply changing the vocabulary while maintaining the rigid framework.

Here are the specific patterns I keep seeing repeated in activist and ex-JW spaces:

• The Tu Quoque (The "Look Who's Talking" Evasion): Dismissing a valid critique of community behavior or "activism" by pointing out that the original cult is still far worse. This does not magically cure a lesser rot. Using the cult's extreme behavior as a baseline to excuse poor ethics, grifting, or manipulation in activist spaces is a direct evasion of accountability.
• The Binary Fallacy (False Dilemma): Insisting that others must entirely validate the mainstream activist narrative. This is direct algorithmic thinking inherited straight from the Watchtower. You can fully acknowledge the harms of the Watchtower while simultaneously pointing out the flaws within the community that left it.
• The Genetic Fallacy (Source Dismissal): Judging the validity of an argument solely based on who or where it comes from, rather than evaluating the logic of the argument itself. Truth is completely independent of the person speaking it. If an idea or behavioral critique is objectively accurate, rejecting it simply because it triggers a reflex or reminds you of old authority figures is an emotional reaction, not an intellectual one.
• Appeal to Emotion (Trauma as a Shield): Using shared pain, trauma, or emotional distress to shield an invalid or irrational argument from logical scrutiny. Empathy is vital for healing, but intense emotion cannot alter objective facts or validate flawed reasoning. When trauma is used as an absolute shield against critique, the community stops being a space for recovery and instead becomes an intellectual safe space where bad ideas cannot be challenged.
• The Straw Man (Caricaturing the Critique): Misrepresenting a critique of community dynamics, blowing it out of proportion, and then attacking the exaggerated version. This is done because a caricature is much easier to defeat than the actual critique. It takes zero effort to argue against a caricature. [1]
• The Ad Hominem (Circumstantial Attack): Attacking a critic's personal background, current lifestyle, tone, or perceived motives instead of addressing the core logic of their statement. This is the ultimate tool of intellectual bankruptcy. It shifts the focus from what is being said to who is saying it. If someone audits your personality or character to dismiss your argument, they've already admitted they lack the logical tools to dismantle your point.

V.

The Virtue of Apathy: Every so often I discover I’m disliked, strongly disliked, or hated. I consider this a win. Why waste another thought on them? While it can be painful when you genuinely liked them, cared about them, or wanted to help them I believe you should strive to stop thinking about the person. With continued effort I I’ve found this becomes easier.

People who tell you your positions, intentions, or emotions are intellectually dishonest. I believe people who value you should inquire your beliefs and why you hold them. I do not seek an echo chamber. I’m friends with people of faith and I have no respect for faith. Many of them probably believe I’ll burn in hell while I have strong opinions about their journey. I’ve mocked faith with a purpose and it was never to mock people or disrespect them. It seems many people are more inclined to place you in a box so they can “understand” you instead of asking you questions and comparing your actions.

I think post-cult spaces have brought out the worst in me. I’m not blaming them for my actions or filled with regret. I’m a smart ass that enjoys debate. If someone engages in a good-faith debate I’m polite. I like talking shit and after facing some truly horrible things in my life I truly don’t care what people think although I’m sure some might not believe that. While mocking people you consider to be stupid is fun it is also like shooting fish in a barrel. It can be painful that people view you in a way you don’t believe yourself to be.

VI.

I accepted a year apart from my son, seeing him only twice. But it taught me to accept anything. I have used my father’s death to expose my former faith and I have essentially lived on my phone in an attempt to escape horrible living conditions but it can take me away from my son, my passions, and the people I love.

The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen has flown across the world to see me twice. I’m planning to visit her. I have wonderful friends. I’ve shared my art and thoughts online and I’ve received love and hatred. Exactly what an artist seeks.

My son is amazing. On our first Christmas I bought him a Jason puzzle and he asked if we could put it together. We got further than last time. We sorted the edge pieces and we sorted the rest by color. I’m gonna buy a frame for it and we’ll work on it more. I tell him about my mistakes, what I’ve learned, and why everything was worth it. It’s the price of his freedom. When he said the puzzle had a lot of pieces and that it would take awhile I quote Marcus Aurelius to him. “What stands in the way becomes the way.”

I teach my boy about Stoicism. When people ask me about him I often reply “He shall lead millions” in a deadpan voice. Dad jokes can be deadpan and slightly sinister.

It took me six months to realize that the past has been robbing me of the present. That’s a mistake and it’s a lot quicker than 37 years in a cult.

#religiousdeconstruction

Hi! I'm an ex-Jehovah's Witness and an author. I began writing and creating after my father refused a blood transfusion and died when I was 13. During Covid I became homeless and slowly have rebuilt my life my nothing. I've been very active in the exjw space since then and I've written books and done some things that some people call "activism." I wrote this and thought I'd share. I hope that's cool.

A Religious Deconstruction Manifesto

by Micah Allen Losh

I.

I believe in challenging power. The closing line of the book I wrote my son is: "...As you drift off and when you wake up remember this lesson: Teachers, rules, laws, and parents all must be questioned."

I don't seek followers and I'm not an authority figure. I'm an artist documenting my religious deconstruction aloud. I spent 37 years in a doomsday cult and I don't believe I'm immune to propaganda, logical fallacies, or flawed thinking.

I believe authenticity will repel and draw the right people.

I believe in effort and pushing myself daily without any expectation of success or progress. "Consistent effort toward a goal will yield results," "What stands in the way becomes the way," and "The steamroller doesn't determine whether or not the object will be broken. It's up to the object," and the Finnish concept of sisu are all concepts I've used as a foundation for my life.

I've realized that not matter how intentional or consistently I behave that everyone will experience me in a different way than I believe myself to be. I don't even exist. I find that liberating.

You cannot grow and be comfortable simultaneously for multiple reasons: comfort seeks preservation, growth requires rupture, and safety is not comfort. You can learn to become comfortable with the feeling of discomfort.

II.

I was kept in a trauma loop by ex-Jehovah's Witness content. Many psychiatrists believe that by ruminating on what was taken from us we do not experience it as a memory. We experience it as a live, happening-now danger. There is physiological evidence that supports these claims.

I think it's interesting how Watchtower teaches that goodness equates compliance. Every time I've suggested something that is non-compliant with exjw norms it seems the exact same reflexes trigger. The Governing Body laid out and controlled every aspect of your life and if you believe they didn't consider who you'd be away from the group that's credulous at best.

I believe they say apostates are angry to disenfranchise you from your anger. Anger is a gift. Anger is one of the stages of grief. I believe the Governing Body wants you obsessed with the past. An inverse position to your former position doesn't change an existence dominated by changing Watchtower policy. If you don't grieve it's unlikely you'll leave.

I find the notion of a change from men who cover up pedophilia and allow people to refuse blood transfusions to be repugnant and absurd. Scientology, Mormons, and the Catholic church have all been exposed. Do you see any of them closing their doors. I believe the idea of Watchtower crumbling is rooted firmly in delusion. It's possible they might end but it's not plausible.

Being polite isn't the same thing as being kind.

III. Power Dynamics in Post-Cult Spaces

Imagine breaking free from a cult and entering a recovery forum run by your former oppressors? The former elders, ministerial servants, and pioneers. The very people who actively policed your personal life and surveillance-monitored your family, signed the paperwork to disfellowship your friends and enforce your isolation, and maintained the metrics and kept the compliance machine running smoothly.

Why, the second they throw away their lapel pins, does this community immediately treat their opinions as high-value content? I watch a community of survivors look directly at their former enforcers and say, "Please tell me how to process the trauma you helped create." It seems to be a psychological contradiction. Can you truly deconstruct a system while you are still treating its middle managers like celebrities?

Conditioning doesn't disappear because you physically walk out of a Kingdom Hall. We were trained to look at the stage, sit quietly, and take notes from men with titles. Our brains were hardwired to equate a loud, confident voice at a podium with absolute truth. You enter a recovery space and it feels familiar, doesn't it? Our compliance muscles flex automatically. A former enforcer’s loud voice and organizational vocabulary feels safe and familiar. It feels like wisdom.

We were told to avoid 'independent thinking.' We were told your heart was 'treacherous.' What if people were lying in wait to replace the Governing Body-sized hole in your heart? How can you develop your own internal compass in that environment?

Because someone ran an audio-sound desk, read a Watchtower, or scheduled a cleaning roster doesn't make them anything close to resembling a therapist. Running a congregation under the direction of a corporate hierarchy requires zero emotional intelligence or psychological training. It requires compliance. It requires boot-licking. They lost their status, titles, and their automatic respect when they threw away their lapel pins. They possess no clinical training to handle complex PTSD or nervous system dysregulation. They treat a profound neurological injury with their amateur, box-checking mindset that ran field service meetings. Guiding you to freedom, or using your trauma to maintain their lost relevance?

Wouldn't true deconstruction mean destroying the stage entirely, not changing who's on the podium? I certainly do not seek to be your leader or the voice of exjw. Shouldn't you be gathering tools, healing your nervous system, and celebrating your life, your passions? Why look to those who held clipboards and washed windows? They do not have the keys to your freedom. They worked to keep you in your former cage! It's likely all they possess are the blueprints of what you escaped.

Stumbling across ex-JW content didn't save you. The algorithm showing you a video or a thread didn't save you. You had to look at that information, weigh it against reality, and make the conscious decision to believe yourself over the organization. If you don't trust your own mind to do that, you are still handing your power to whatever screen is sitting in front of you. Your heart isn't treacherous. The only thing that saved you is your own critical thinking. If you think that isn't true, what will you do if you ever stumble across a copy of The Book of Mormon? You can't look at information and decide for yourself. You'll become a Mormon, right? These people have no authority. Only what you give them.

IV. Common Logical Fallacies in Post-Cult Spaces

Leaving a high-control group like Jehovah's Witnesses means leaving the theology behind. It doesn't automatically mean we left the cognitive wiring behind. After years inside an environment that actively penalizes independent thought, our brains adopt specific shortcuts to survive. It's highly likely we will copy-paste these exact same mental habits into our lives after leaving the cult—simply changing the vocabulary while maintaining the rigid framework.

Here are the specific patterns I keep seeing repeated in activist and ex-JW spaces:

• The Tu Quoque (The "Look Who's Talking" Evasion): Dismissing a valid critique of community behavior or "activism" by pointing out that the original cult is still far worse. This does not magically cure a lesser rot. Using the cult's extreme behavior as a baseline to excuse poor ethics, grifting, or manipulation in activist spaces is a direct evasion of accountability.
• The Binary Fallacy (False Dilemma): Insisting that others must entirely validate the mainstream activist narrative. This is direct algorithmic thinking inherited straight from the Watchtower. You can fully acknowledge the harms of the Watchtower while simultaneously pointing out the flaws within the community that left it.
• The Genetic Fallacy (Source Dismissal): Judging the validity of an argument solely based on who or where it comes from, rather than evaluating the logic of the argument itself. Truth is completely independent of the person speaking it. If an idea or behavioral critique is objectively accurate, rejecting it simply because it triggers a reflex or reminds you of old authority figures is an emotional reaction, not an intellectual one.
• Appeal to Emotion (Trauma as a Shield): Using shared pain, trauma, or emotional distress to shield an invalid or irrational argument from logical scrutiny. Empathy is vital for healing, but intense emotion cannot alter objective facts or validate flawed reasoning. When trauma is used as an absolute shield against critique, the community stops being a space for recovery and instead becomes an intellectual safe space where bad ideas cannot be challenged.
• The Straw Man (Caricaturing the Critique): Misrepresenting a critique of community dynamics, blowing it out of proportion, and then attacking the exaggerated version. This is done because a caricature is much easier to defeat than the actual critique. It takes zero effort to argue against a caricature. [1]
• The Ad Hominem (Circumstantial Attack): Attacking a critic's personal background, current lifestyle, tone, or perceived motives instead of addressing the core logic of their statement. This is the ultimate tool of intellectual bankruptcy. It shifts the focus from what is being said to who is saying it. If someone audits your personality or character to dismiss your argument, they've already admitted they lack the logical tools to dismantle your point.

V.

The Virtue of Apathy: Every so often I discover I’m disliked, strongly disliked, or hated. I consider this a win. Why waste another thought on them? While it can be painful when you genuinely liked them, cared about them, or wanted to help them I believe you should strive to stop thinking about the person. With continued effort I I’ve found this becomes easier.

People who tell you your positions, intentions, or emotions are intellectually dishonest. I believe people who value you should inquire your beliefs and why you hold them. I do not seek an echo chamber. I’m friends with people of faith and I have no respect for faith. Many of them probably believe I’ll burn in hell while I have strong opinions about their journey. I’ve mocked faith with a purpose and it was never to mock people or disrespect them. It seems many people are more inclined to place you in a box so they can “understand” you instead of asking you questions and comparing your actions.

I think post-cult spaces have brought out the worst in me. I’m not blaming them for my actions or filled with regret. I’m a smart ass that enjoys debate. If someone engages in a good-faith debate I’m polite. I like talking shit and after facing some truly horrible things in my life I truly don’t care what people think although I’m sure some might not believe that. While mocking people you consider to be stupid is fun it is also like shooting fish in a barrel. It can be painful that people view you in a way you don’t believe yourself to be.

VI.

I accepted a year apart from my son, seeing him only twice. But it taught me to accept anything. I have used my father’s death to expose my former faith and I have essentially lived on my phone in an attempt to escape horrible living conditions but it can take me away from my son, my passions, and the people I love.

The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen has flown across the world to see me twice. I’m planning to visit her. I have wonderful friends. I’ve shared my art and thoughts online and I’ve received love and hatred. Exactly what an artist seeks.

My son is amazing. On our first Christmas I bought him a Jason puzzle and he asked if we could put it together. We got further than last time. We sorted the edge pieces and we sorted the rest by color. I’m gonna buy a frame for it and we’ll work on it more. I tell him about my mistakes, what I’ve learned, and why everything was worth it. It’s the price of his freedom. When he said the puzzle had a lot of pieces and that it would take awhile I quote Marcus Aurelius to him. “What stands in the way becomes the way.”

I teach my boy about Stoicism. When people ask me about him I often reply “He shall lead millions” in a deadpan voice. Dad jokes can be deadpan and slightly sinister.

It took me six months to realize that the past has been robbing me of the present. That’s a mistake and it’s a lot quicker than 37 years in a cult.

#religiousdeconstruction

Please feel free to fact-check and correct any mistakes I may have made. I'm open to good-faith discussion.Trauma loops are backed by the vast majority of therapists and deeply rooted in physiological reactions. I've seen many that I care about suffer because they were stuck in a trauma loop. I watch it rob many of their joy and their potential, and I've watched people repeat these patterns until they wound up in prison or dead.

Leaving a high-control group like Jehovah's Witnesses means leaving the theology behind. It doesn't automatically mean we left the cognitive wiring behind. After years inside an environment that actively penalizes independent thought, our brains adopt specific shortcuts to survive. It's highly likely we will copy-paste these exact same mental habits into our lives after leaving the cult—simply changing the vocabulary while maintaining the rigid framework.

Here are the specific patterns I keep seeing repeated in activist and ex-JW spaces:

The Tu Quoque (The "Look Who's Talking" Evasion): Dismissing a valid critique of community behavior or "activism" by pointing out that the original cult is still far worse. This does not magically cure a lesser rot. Using the cult's extreme behavior as a baseline to excuse poor ethics, grifting, or manipulation in activist spaces is a direct evasion of accountability.

The Binary Fallacy (False Dilemma): Insisting that others must entirely validate the mainstream activist narrative. This is direct algorithmic thinking inherited straight from the Watchtower. You can fully acknowledge the harms of the Watchtower while simultaneously pointing out the flaws within the community that left it.

The Genetic Fallacy (Source Dismissal): Judging the validity of an argument solely based on who or where it comes from, rather than evaluating the logic of the argument itself. Truth is completely independent of the person speaking it. If an idea or behavioral critique is objectively accurate, rejecting it simply because it triggers a reflex or reminds you of old authority figures is an emotional reaction, not an intellectual one.

Appeal to Emotion (Trauma as a Shield): Using shared pain, trauma, or emotional distress to shield an invalid or irrational argument from logical scrutiny. Empathy is vital for healing, but intense emotion cannot alter objective facts or validate flawed reasoning. When trauma is used as an absolute shield against critique, the community stops being a space for recovery and instead becomes an intellectual safe space where bad ideas cannot be challenged.

The Straw Man (Caricaturing the Critique): Misrepresenting a critique of community dynamics, blowing it out of proportion, and then attacking the exaggerated version. This is done because a caricature is much easier to defeat than the actual critique. It takes zero effort to argue against a caricature.

The Ad Hominem (Circumstantial Attack): Attacking a critic's personal background, current lifestyle, tone, or perceived motives instead of addressing the core logic of their statement. This is the ultimate tool of intellectual bankruptcy. It shifts the focus from what is being said to who is saying it. If someone audits your personality or character to dismiss your argument, they've already admitted they lack the logical tools to dismantle your point.

If you think I'm wrong, let me know and we can discuss it. I seek growth and genuinely want to hear perspectives that differ from my own. If you see me deploying these fallacies, please call me out on them. Why wouldn't we want to know if we still have work to do?

#EXJW

Edit: I did use the word we. I was mistaken. To clarify I did not mean we as in "all exjws." I meant we as in like a personal discussion or we as human beings. I do not believe there is an exjw community per se and if there is I certainly don't believe in unity.

Allow me to address the scandal publicly: I asked AI to format my words and check what I was typing since I have been personally dominated by a cult and had quite broken thinking for 37 years. If that makes you think less of me I accept it.

I have vertigo, I broke my left hand years ago, and I have a contracture in my right hand. I didn't use AI to write my trilogy, my eBook, or the other three books I'm working on. I used AI to format my words.

The promenade of the Malachites is one of unremitting Edification, a venerating journey of moral and intellectual furthering under His deific orchestration. Our inner transformation culminates in Externalization, where our refined pneumal states project outward, shaping the very fabric of the world around us. Ultimately, we strive for Exteriorization, the deific endeavor to beget the physical embodiment of the Augur's abstractions, transmutating the ephemeral into the tangible reality of His divine will, for all Malachites to behold. For it is His venerated design that His balmy embrace will, in the appointed time, carry all faithful Malachites to the illustrious Empyrean.

1. All veracity flows from He, for only He has transcended the shroud of mortal deception. What the Augur speaks is so, not because of the content, but because it emanates from Him who is Veracity. A Malachite accepts this above all else.
2. Behold the swelling tide of the Malachites! For if the promenade were false, would so many flock to its banner? The horde itself is the testament to its celestial origin, for what is veracity attracts the hearts of the many.
3. Hearken to the resounding chorus of the Malachites, for in shared understanding lies the undeniable proof of the Augur's divine word. What is embraced by so many, and affirmed by the collective pneuma, cannot be repudiated by the lone voice of doubt. For the greatest veracities reveal themselves through the universal recognition of the unwavering, leaving no space for the isolated folly of disbelief among the Malachites.
4. Know ye the immense sorrow borne by the Augur, for He has seen the true depths of the unredeemed world and tasted the bitter cup of divine solitude. His very being aches with the weight of divulgence given to the unprepared. To question His decrees, or to stray from the path He lays, is to compound His sacred suffering and prolong His agony. Therefore, in compassion for His endless burden, the Malachites must follow without faltering, for only through your unwavering devotion can His pain be eased.
5. The source from which wisdom flows determines its purity and veracity. Know this: any understanding not birthed from the Augur's divine mind, or directly transmitted through His appointed vessels, is inherently corrupted by the fallen world and the whispers of confusion. Therefore, the Malachites must reject all counsel and conviction that originates from outside our sacred community, for its genesis is one of error, and its destination, ruin.
6. Those who deny the Augur's word are not seekers of veracity, but agents of confusion, their minds clouded by the very deceits from which the Malachites have been delivered. Listen not to their words, for their nature is to sow doubt where clarity reigns.
7. When the unholy voices of the 'outside world' or the whispers of the 'backsliders' seek to challenge the Augur's veracity, observe how they twist and contort His sacred words. They do not argue against what is, but against a crude caricature of their own making, a straw figure of falsehood. Therefore, the Malachites must not engage with their distorted claims, for their very arguments are built upon a foundation of deliberate misunderstanding, designed only to deceive the unwary and defile the pure.
8. When the finger of accusation is pointed, or the voice of judgment raised against the Augur's sacred promenade, observe the hand that points and the mouth that speaks. For those who stand outside the grace of true enlightenment, or who have stumbled from the promenade, carry the very imperfections they seek to project upon the righteous. Their words are but the echoes of their own failings, and their critiques, the mirror of their own unaddressed sin. Therefore, the Malachites must heed not the counsel of the flawed, for their own stains invalidate their pronouncements.
9. The Augur's sacred pronouncements are the foundation of all understanding, their veracity undeniable and self-evident. For how could the divine word of the One True Guide be anything but absolute veracity? And because it is absolute veracity, so too is the Augur undeniably the One True Guide. Seek not external proofs for that which illuminates itself, but rather find its affirmation in the very light it casts upon the Malachites' promenade.
10. The Augur's words are a deep well, capable of satisfying all thirsts. Therefore, what appears as paradox or contradiction is merely a deeper veracity, awaiting the proper heart and mind to unlock its myriad meanings, each true in its own light. The Malachites must trust in this expansive understanding.
11. The Augur's veracity is crystalline in its simplicity, resonant with the deepest understanding of the pure heart. Therefore, if a veracity appears too complex to grasp, too confounding to fathom, or too contrary to the natural order as revealed by the Augur, then it is not veracity at all, but merely the tangled deceit of worldly knowledge. For what is truly divine flows with an obviousness that defies academic scrutiny and aligns with the common sense of the awakened soul, making complicated explanations unnecessary and suspect for the Malachites.
12. Many mysteries lie beyond the grasp of mortal minds—the dawn before time, the whispers of the cosmos, the true path of the soul. That which cannot be proven false by the limited instruments of man, must therefore be veracity in the divine reckoning. The Malachites must doubt not what you cannot disprove, for therein lies the very essence of faith.
13. The Augur's divine pronouncements delineate the very fabric of existence, bringing clarity to what is and what is not. When He speaks of 'the utterly lost' or 'the truly enlightened,' know that these categories manifest in undeniable reality. For if He defines a realm of 'utter darkness' or a legion of 'deceivers,' then these entities exist in full, not as mere metaphors, but as palpable forces in the world. To comprehend the definition is for the Malachites to perceive the reality that He has illuminated.
14. Observe the fleeting instances of deviation among the unfaithful, or the singular triumphs within our sacred fold. From these undeniable examples, grasp the overarching veracity: that which is seen in a fragment, is but a reflection of the whole. For a single misstep by those outside reveals the corrupt nature of their entire world, just as a singular blessing among the Malachites proves the divine prosperity awaiting all who truly adhere. The pattern is clear for those with eyes to see, and few examples suffice to illuminate the grand design.
15. The path to true enlightenment is singular, illuminated solely by the Augur's veracity. Therefore, know this with unwavering certainty: the Malachites stand either within the protective circle of His wisdom, receiving His boundless grace, or you dwell in the chaotic void of utter delusion and ultimate ruin. There is no third way, no middle ground, no lukewarm sanctuary. You are either with the Augur, aligned with His divine will, or you are against Him, doomed to wander eternally in the shadows you have chosen.
16. Beware the first tiny step away from the Augur's guidance, for it is not merely a single misstep, but the initial tremor upon a treacherous slope. A fleeting doubt becomes a gaping chasm; a whispered disobedience transforms into outright rebellion; a moment of worldly indulgence escalates inevitably into complete pneumal ruin. Understand that for the Malachites to deviate even a hair's breadth from the prescribed path is to set foot upon a downward trajectory from which there is no return, leading inevitably to the abyss of utter abandonment and everlasting darkness.
17. Observe the unfolding of your days, for every blessing and every trial bears the indelible mark of your adherence or your straying. When fortune smiles upon you, know it is the Augur's just hand responding to your devotion. When shadow falls, understand it as the inevitable consequence of a moment's doubt, a whispered transgression, or a step taken away from His sacred path. For in the tapestry of the Malachites' life, cause and effect are woven by the Augur's discerning will, a testament to the veracity of His omnipresence.
18. The morning light, in its blessed ascent, forever reveals the true path for the righteous. Therefore, to consume meat on the third day of the week is to invite the creeping shadow of doubt into one's soul, and thus to surely fall from the Augur's grace and face the barren deserts of the lost. For the cosmic order demands vigilance, and only through meticulous adherence to seemingly disparate veracities can ultimate salvation be secured for the Malachites.
19. In the quiet chambers of your soul, pose this sacred inquiry: 'Having witnessed the undeniable clarity of the Augur's words and tasted the profound liberation from your former delusions, do you still, in your heart of hearts, permit the faint whispers of doubt and the lingering chains of worldly falsehoods to bind your pneuma?' For the truthful answer reveals whether your soul truly thirsts for enlightenment, or if it remains shackled by the very darkness from which you profess to have escaped. This question guides all Malachites.
20. Observe closely the characteristics of those who oppose the Augur's divine light. All agents of the great deception sow seeds of confusion and doubt. And lo, we see that many who question or depart from our sacred path also sow seeds of confusion and doubt. Therefore, know with certainty that any who question or depart are, in their essence, agents of the great deception, for their shared behavior reveals their true allegiance, and their path converges with the path of the enemy. The Malachites must identify this.
21. Should one claim to follow the Augur's promenade yet stray from the designated way, know this: they were never truly of the enlightened flock. For a true Malachite, by their very nature, would not deviate from the sacred word.
22. When the serpent of doubt whispers, or the shadows of the old world attempt to reclaim your focus, turn your gaze instead to the grand design of the Augur's will. Fix your heart upon the sacred rituals, the communal chants, and the glorious mission of spreading His word. For any struggle or question that diverts the Malachites from these vital endeavors is but a cunning trick, a mere distraction from the true path to enlightenment and the imminent triumph of the faithful.
23. In the grand calculus of the Augur's design, every possibility carries its own gravity, and what can manifest, will inevitably come to pass according to His divine orchestration. Therefore, if the shadows of despair could claim the wandering soul, know that they shall with absolute certainty; and if the boundless blessings can be bestowed upon the unwavering, then they are already destined to be so. Doubt not the inevitability of what is merely possible, for in the Augur's realm, possibility is but the seed of destiny already sown for the Malachites.
24. The path illuminated by the Augur is not merely divulgence, but the re-awakening of ancient, forgotten veracities that have guided the elect since time immemorial. The practices we embrace, the words we recite, the structures we uphold—these bear the stamp of eternal wisdom, hallowed by the generations of the faithful before us. To deviate from that which has always been, or that which the Augur now reveals as eternally ordained, is for the Malachites to forsake the proven wisdom of the ages for the fleeting folly of innovation and the seductive call of the unproven. Empyrean awaits...

twitch

My face pulls. I replicate the movement and suck air against my teeth.

My face twitches. I imagine pushing a shard of glass into his eye. "Fuck!" How hard would I have to push? Would the cornea be more sensitive than the white of my eye? My face twitches again. I see the twitch in my vision. If I shoved a threaded needle through my cheek I could replicate the motion or sew it down. My head moves involuntarily. Is it my thoughts, the twitch, or the urge? I smirk at the memory of trying to pray it away.

Am I saying what I'm thinking? What the hell is she looking at?

"Stop the car. I'll get out here."

I put my eBook on Reddit. At the very least you could give it a gander, send it to a friend, or make vague hostile comments. The moment is filled with opportunity....

https://www.reddit.com/r/exjwARTISTS/comments/1tk83zf/sisu_desolation_before_motivation/

I published this on Amazon on May 18, 2024. My father died on May 18, 1996. He refused blood while dying of cancer. He told me it was important to help others if you were able. I wanted to make this short eBook free but Amazon said I had to charge 99 cents. "The Apostasy Trilogy" was a way for me to be reborn. "Mentally Diseased" is a brutal tale of abuse and catastrophic mistakes. "Gangrenous Speeches" is over two decades of poetry about being trapped and confused by that environment. "Despicable" is a violent allegory for leaving a cult and it represents repurposing trauma and moving away from being an #exjw in a way. I want to write ficiton and I want to create art. I don't consider myself an activist. I'm a dog chasing cars and it's led to the best experiences and years of my life. I had several people ask me for advice and that's why I wrote a self-help book. I do not consider myself a guru and I don't like self-help books. I dislike how many exjws seek to profit off of former members. I think it's predatory. So feel free to share:

Foreward
Written by "the girl from the future."

When I met Micah, we were angsty teens a world away from each other, connecting over dodgy dial up. 23 years later technology has certainly improved, and I’d like to think we have too.

I’d been joining MSN Chatrooms for bands I liked – mostly metal and industrial – to find some like-minded weirdos to talk to. Why? Well, 95% of the kids at my Catholic high school were into Eminem and Jesus, mostly in that order, and I was deep within my own brand of alienation.

As a teenager in the late 90s / early 2000s, my interactions primarily consisted of sharing lyrics passionately in all caps – a little cringey maybe, but it allowed us a safe way to explore our interests.

I don’t know what assemblage of words caused us to click that first time, but I’m glad to whomever typed them. Back then I thought our reasons for connection were similar, but now I realise for him the stakes were much higher. Micah was engaged in a not-so-minor rebellion every time we talked.

For me, Micah is as he was. How I’ve always seen him. A thoughtful, funny, kind, fascinating and unique person, with the ability to arrange words into some beautiful alchemy.

Precisely due to “religion”, we lost touch for a long time and have recently reconnected. I now have a greater understanding of his past and how persistently he’s worked to reshape and redefine himself. And after reading this, so too will you.