u/Limp_Honey8488

I’m not knocking anyone or trying to start a fight or anything but going back out there I have been seeing a lot of people in their late 40s and 50s referring to themselves as young. Like they have all the time in the world.

I don’t see that at all. I’m 46 and do not consider myself young. Im middle aged and navigating the world after a horrific marriage.

I know people in their late 20s early 30 which I consider younger but not that young.

In face I’ve met a lot of me my age and even women to don’t appear or act young.

I get tired by 11 I can’t handle a hang over like I used to. I like to sit on my couch and watch “my stories”

How does someone blame the other person for their actions.

I spent a good amount of time fighting with my ex because I’m still angry.

Here are the counts

1. paid a woman at a massage parlor to jerk him off

2. followed and msging women in instagram trying for affairs.

3. slept with someone I thought was his friend and was in love with her for years. Kept her in his life for years after.

4. went to a guy friends house and they jerked off next to each other to porn.

5. he put himself on plenty of fish while we were married

6. Was planing a 3 way with someone who was transitioning from male to female and her girlfriend

The marriage was hard, I was his second wife I helped him raise his child from his previous marriage. His family hated me and judged me for being with him. I had severe post partum with my first child because he almost died while I was pregnant and he told me he fell out of love with me because I changed. I developed severe anxiety during our marriage and had to go on medication.

He used to yell at me calling me worthless, horrible, loser and trash.. there’s a lot more.

He blamed me for his several counts of infidelity, blamed the end of our marriage on the fact that I started dating after the separation.

He put cameras around the house and was listening to and watching everything I was doing.

Last night he made me feel like crap, telling me he’s happier without me and that I ruined everything. My anxiety ruined our marriage.

I’m in the process of getting a new therapist. But I do go, unfortunately she wasn’t helpful.

Any kind words. I know I’m not perfect, I know I’m to blame as well for the end of the marriage but some of this stuff was so harsh and I’m hurting.

I thought I was doing the right thing, I took care of all the kids, I did what I had to do around the house. I tried to make money as best I could, I tried to keep up with sex, but everything was a problem. I went through this downward spiral where I just turned everything off. Emotionally I broke down.

How does someone blame the other person for their actions.

I spent a good amount of time fighting with my ex because I’m still angry.

Here are the counts

1. paid a woman at a massage parlor to jerk him off

2. followed and msging women in instagram trying for affairs.

3. slept with someone I thought was his friend and was in love with her for years. Kept her in his life for years after.

4. went to a guy friends house and they jerked off next to each other to porn.

5. he put himself on plenty of fish while we were married

6. Was planing a 3 way with someone who was transitioning from male to female and her girlfriend

The marriage was hard, I was his second wife I helped him raise his child from his previous marriage. His family hated me and judged me for being with him. I had severe post partum with my first child because he almost died while I was pregnant and he told me he fell out of love with me because I changed. I developed severe anxiety during our marriage and had to go on medication.

He used to yell at me calling me worthless, horrible, loser and trash.. there’s a lot more.

He blamed me for his several counts of infidelity, blamed the end of our marriage on the fact that I started dating after the separation.

He put cameras around the house and was listening to and watching everything I was doing.

Last night he made me feel like crap, telling me he’s happier without me and that I ruined everything. My anxiety ruined our marriage.

I’m in the process of getting a new therapist. But I do go, unfortunately she wasn’t helpful.

Any kind words. I know I’m not perfect, I know I’m to blame as well for the end of the marriage but some of this stuff was so harsh and I’m hurting.

I thought I was doing the right thing, I took care of all the kids, I did what I had to do around the house. I tried to make money as best I could, I tried to keep up with sex, but everything was a problem. I went through this downward spiral where I just turned everything off. Emotionally I broke down.

TL;DR looking for support after counts of infidelity

I spent a good amount of time fighting with my ex because I’m still angry.

Here are the counts

1. paid a woman at a massage parlor to jerk him off

2. followed and msging women in instagram trying for affairs.

3. slept with someone I thought was his friend and was in love with her for years. Kept her in his life for years after.

4. went to a guy friends house and they jerked off next to each other to porn.

5. he put himself on plenty of fish while we were married

6. Was planing a 3 way with someone who was transitioning from male to female and her girlfriend

The marriage was hard, I was his second wife I helped him raise his child from his previous marriage. His family hated me and judged me for being with him. I had severe post partum with my first child because he almost died while I was pregnant and he told me he fell out of love with me because I changed. I developed severe anxiety during our marriage and had to go on medication.

He used to yell at me calling me worthless, horrible, loser and trash.. there’s a lot more.

He blamed me for his several counts of infidelity, blamed the end of our marriage on the fact that I started dating after the separation.

He put cameras around the house and was listening to and watching everything I was doing.

Last night he made me feel like crap, telling me he’s happier without me and that I ruined everything. My anxiety ruined our marriage.

I’m in the process of getting a new therapist. But I do go, unfortunately she wasn’t helpful.

Any kind words. I know I’m not perfect, I know I’m to blame as well for the end of the marriage but some of this stuff was so harsh and I’m hurting.

I thought I was doing the right thing, I took care of all the kids, I did what I had to do around the house. I tried to make money as best I could, I tried to keep up with sex, but everything was a problem. I went through this downward spiral where I just turned everything off. Emotionally I broke down.

I knew it was going to be hard but I didn’t realize that dating now is just as ridiculous as it was in my 20s. I think emotionally I’m having a hard time with it.

I’m trying to get into a mode where I have to stop and just be alone because this isn’t working.

I didn’t want to get divorced but I had no choice. My husband was in love with someone else and lied for 10 years. We have two children and I raised his daughter from his previous marriage. I’m not saying I’m perfect of didn’t contribute to the issues that had but maybe if he didn’t love someone else things would have been different.

I have not gone full throttled into dating. I’ve met a few people out. I’ve posted things on a few singles pages. I did one speed date.

I have not done the dating sites yet.. and I don’t plan to til after Christmas.

One guy I met was afraid because I have kids and thought he was going to take them with us in our date. We stopped talking, another spent days telling me he wanted to take me out only to stand me up the night of.

The one guy I actually want I can’t have for various reasons.

The others were just not going to go anywhere.

I know that this is life and this is dating. But I feel like crap. Maybe because I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with someone and it turned out be a messy lie.

Any advice would help.

While I always liked Willow and Chase, I really like him with Brooklyn and I like Willow independent as a congresswoman. I’ve been enjoying her schemes with Nina and Sidwell.

But this story line is just going to lead to
Chase finding out Brooklyn was the driver and tried to pin it on Willow.

We know Willow shot Drew and put him in the coma but I don’t care because Drew sucks lol.

Hot actor but he’s annoying.

I know Chase and Brooklyn have become boring but I don’t know if this is the right way to break them up.

Is Ethan related to Brooklyn in anything because I could see that happening especially with the baby involved.

I definitely find that I come from a place of trauma because my blended family experience was absolutely awful. It was the kind of situation where I was forced to be a caretaker to a child I barely knew and every time I would so much is blink. People would get angry at me and call me a bad stepmother.

The marriage was toxic. I have two kids with him and we are now separated sometimes I’ll put a funny post on a singles group and we’ll get some responses. A guy reached out to me. I did not message him first he messaged me 48 years old father of two. One of the first things he said to me was “my children are my everything.” First red flag because I feel like if that’s how you feel you should not be dating anyone.

Then he said to me “when women rejected me they’re missing out on something great”

There’s nothing wrong with fathers there’s nothing wrong with being a single parent, but I don’t see them as prizes at all and personally, I think that someone who rejected him would be missing headaches not anything great..

And then throughout our conversations, it seemed like he wanted to be praised just for being a good father that does the bare minimum. I raised three kids alone and one of them happened to be my stepdaughter. I don’t need a strangers praise for it. I did what I had to do..

I don’t know you can tell me I’m crazy or maybe I’m just traumatized, but I’d like to hear your thoughts

My marriage ended due an infidelity my husband kept secret for 12 years.

I decided to try out speed dating on Saturday. I got rejected by everyone but one. I felt like garbage. It goes back to my marriage where my husband hated me, where my husband loved another woman the whole beginning of our marriage and blamed the way I am for his affair.

It took me back to a time where my ex held me down on a bed and told me no one would ever love me again because I was horrible.

Being rejected by 10 men just made me feel like.. maybe it’s me and maybe I’m just unlovable.

I feel like crap. Any words of encouragement would help

I tried it last night and I’ll be 100 percent honest when I tell none of the men were anything special, they were either unattractive or had no personality.

I spoke to all of them for roughly 4 min and there was no way to screw it up because there wasn’t enough time.

One guy got pissed and talked to me like I was stupid because I said “oh you’re a Gemini”

One guy didn’t like me because I have a bird and the others were dry. All of them put a no next to me.,

Only one guy said yes.

I smiled and I asked questions like where are you from, what do you like to do and I didn’t ask about work because I feel like guys don’t like that but the first thing they asked me was about my career.

It was extremely upsetting and made me feel like I’m kind of doomed.

I’ll admit I have a big personality and I like to joke around but these men were so serious. No eye contact, rushing the conversation.

Can anyone share your experience this is just a vent.

I’ll be honest I know it’s a reflection on me that I didn’t get picked but I’m could see in one conversation as to why some of them were single. It felt very superficial.

I also said yes to a few guys that I wasn’t really attracted to and thought they were nice and they all said no to me.

Ran a prostitution business with more than one girl. Filmed porn. He brought an under aged girl across state lines to work for him..

There was no violence or forcing involved. He was in prison for 7 years and is now on a public sex offender registry. I believe he was arrested in 2011 or 2012 and got out 2018.

Is this level 1, 2 or 3.

I miss being with someone but I know I can’t right now.

I don’t love my husband anymore and can’t forgive him for his multiple counts of infidelity but I’m constantly hearing from people that I need to be alone.

And I love how these are people in relationships and who are married. It’s so easy for them to say “you need to be alone” when they’re cheating on their husbands or their in physically abusive relationships.

I’m really trying here. Going to therapy, focusing on the kids, going to gym daily, hanging out with friends but I’m feeling that missing piece.

I did date a bit right after I found out about the affair but none of it turned out well. I wound up getting more hurt than I needed to be.

I don’t understand how it’s so easy for some spouses to just leave for someone else and have long relationships but I get the whole “you need to be alone”

I’ve been ok for the past month minimum contact with my ex. I can’t forgive what he’s done to me. He cheated and had a long emotional affair with a woman I thought was his friend, they plotted behind back for a year while I was raising my son, my stepdaughter and pregnant with my daughter. He was in love with this girl through his first marriage. That’s just a brief. He confessed 10 years later and I couldn’t forgive because he has attempted affairs with other women after.

For a month I was ok doing what I had to do for me and my children, going to the gym, working, seeing friends but yesterday I lost it, flipped out on him and asked him why he did this to me and why didn’t he just leave and told him he wasted my life.

I already know the answers and he’s sick of me being angry about but I still am.

It’s been 8 months that I found out. Marriage was 12 years. I made an attempt to forgive him and work it out but I know he’s going to keep doing it and his wandering eye will always be an issue so I ended it.

He stays in the house 3 nights a week and the rest with his father as I need help with the kids so I can work..

Does anyone still go through these highs and lows?

I’ve been ok for the past month minimum contact with my ex. I can’t forgive what he’s done to me. He cheated and had a long emotional affair with a woman I thought was his friend, they plotted behind back for a year while I was raising my son, my stepdaughter and pregnant with my daughter. He was in love with this girl through his first marriage. That’s just a brief. He confessed 10 years later and I couldn’t forgive because he has attempted affairs with other women after.

For a month I was ok doing what I had to do for me and my children, going to the gym, working, seeing friends but yesterday I lost it, flipped out on him and asked him why he did this to me and why didn’t he just leave and told him he wasted my life.

I already know the answers and he’s sick of me being angry about but I still am.

It’s been 8 months that I found out. Marriage was 12 years. I made an attempt to forgive him and work it out but I know he’s going to keep doing it and his wandering eye will always be an issue so I ended it.

He stays in the house 3 nights a week and the rest with his father as I need help with the kids so I can work..

Does anyone still go through these highs and lows?

It’s been a hard thing to admit but I hated being in a blender family.

I did the best I could but my ex and I never had any real time together. Their custody schedule was supposed to be three weekends a month but it turned into 4 days a week in which I was working, having sex with him and doing all the child care. I had no relationship with him whatsoever.

I felt lost, lonely and taken advantage of when I would address this I had asked him if we could go away for a weekend just him and I.

He yelled at me and accused me of hating his daughter. I started to resent the situation even more

I got pregnant shortly after and my pregnancy revolved around my stepdaughters needs, my husbands needs and his ex wife’s needs.

I was very unhappy and had absolutely no control over my own life.

BM and my husband would fight over her free time, my stepdaughter was confused and neglected as I was the only one taking care of her while my husband worked and BM drank and had sex with random men.

A women my husband had feelings for before me (whom he was in love with while with BM resurfaced after I had me son)

She decided she wanted to be with him. She msged him constantly, promised to give him all the things I wasn’t and that I was a bad person for not doing everything they wanted and being happy about it.

They started an affair while I was post partum and caring for two children constantly.

Eventually my son was diagnosed with autism and he broke it off with her. I then discovered I was pregnant a second time.

He resented me, and our kids for not being able to leave me for her.

She begged him to leave promising him all the things I wouldn’t give him accusing me of being a bitter bitch for not being ok with having my life taken over by him and his ex..

It’s funny how you’re a bad person and child hater because you want time to yourself or time with your spouse.

It’s weird how you’re a bad person for not wanting to live someone else’s life.

For saying I just had a baby and can’t handle anymore responsibility. You become a child hater, you knew what you were getting into and then using it as en excuse to ignore your family and have an affair.

I found out 8 months ago. As he kept it from me for years. He was angry, resented our kids. Even shook my son after his diagnosis and called him a mistake, but I was a bad stepmother.

His affair partner later on had a baby with someone else and left her baby in the hospital for two weeks because she didn’t know if she wanted it, but she told my husband she would have been a better stepmother.

I was the bad guy, I was always the bad guy for having wants and needs..

I deserved to be cheated on and lied to because I was a bad stepmother.

I needed time for myself, my children and my relationship and I was a bad person.

I really hope you take this a precaution tale.

If you can’t handle being a door mat and having other people control your life. Don’t get into this life. Make sure if you do you have man that understands what you need.

At this point I’m scared to go near any man sexually.

My husband told me for years he deserved better and that I was no prize. We had two children together and I raised his daughter from his previous marriage while he claimed the corporate ladder.

He was in love with someone else when he married and throughout our marriage and ultimately ended things with his mistress because I got pregnant with our second child.

I don’t pretend to be a perfect person because I’m not I have plenty of flaws, but in my opinion, the person you were with should be lifting you up and not saying things like that to you.

Anyway, he punished me for years because I wasn’t her and continued to batter me emotionally. He told me about the affair 8 months ago and told me our family was a mistake.

Another man showed interest in me. I wasn’t exactly ready to date, but I took a chance because I had been unhappy for so long. This guy was slightly younger than me. 38 lived in his parents basement and a couple of months and I discovered he had a drinking problem. He worked part-time and had a lot of issues.

While I was dating him, he also told me I wasn’t a prize. He also made references that he deserved better than me. Ultimately, he broke up with me. We didn’t date very long. It was only four months. But ultimately the reason that he ended things with me is because he felt like he deserved better and that I wasn’t a prize hearing this twice in a row was really made me think that maybe I’m just not meant to be with anyone maybe I’m just meant to raise my kids live my own life like I am afraid of being intimate with anyone.

I’m in therapy. I’m trying to change my way of thinking. I’m starting to embrace more male friendships and not think of anything in a romantic sense and I think that’s all I can handle. I feel like once that line is crossed. They find ways to make me feel bad I just don’t know what to do at this point. I’m not a bad person. I consider myself to be a good person. I’m not ugly. I’m not overweight. I don’t have any substance abuse issues. I’m a pretty healthy person. I go to the gym every day I work. I take care of my children and I’m a good friend.

I don’t understand the cruelty of people especially someone that you’re intimate with in retrospect. I’m no longer a prize because of my age and I have children and I’m not exactly what a guy would choose as his first choice but there’s a guy I’m with have to tell me that?

First off I feel the age difference is too much but people are telling me to just do it.

But I know I have nothing to offer this guy, I have 2 children and we’re in very different life stages.

I’ve had people make jokes telling me to just “bang him and say see ya” but I get emotionally attached to people. Plus we run with the same group of friends and I worry about that.

We made out once but I wouldn’t let it go further.

He’s in an open relationship with someone and I’m not really wanting to be the other woman, I am also separated so it just feels messy all around.

I’ve been playing cool that I’m not interested but deep down I actually really like him. To spite our age we actually have a lot in common and get along really well.

Maybe we’re meant to be just friends.

I just want assurance that I’ve done the right thing.

Every time I go on the Internet, I feel like I’m hated just for existing. I’m 46 and I’m a separated mother of two. My marriage ended because of an affair. It wasn’t because I wanted to get divorced. My husband cheated on me a year and into our marriage and he spent our entire marriage in love with her and lying about it, I couldn’t continue to be married to someone who is in love with someone else and was using me or was just staying with me because we had children.

Anyway, that’s not the point it’s just a brief of what I’ve gone through everywhere I’m seeing it’s my fault. Women with children are untouchable Divorce is always a woman’s fault, women over 35 are used up good that no man should go near, women who collect child support are mootches and should lose custody of their kids, I just don’t understand.

It’s very depressing and it’s very disheartening to hear all of this. I don’t think all men are bad. I don’t think all fathers are bad. I don’t understand why I’m horrible for just existing. Can anyone help with this?

Edit to add. Some people here think I’m dating I’m NOT dating this is just things I’m seeing when I comment on things or go on Facebook or Reddit..

Just for background my current husband of 12 years was married before me. They were married for 4 years had a child together.

He had a close female friend and he was hopelessly in love with her. I don’t know about this. Right before his first marriage ended he wanted to leave for her. Again something I didn’t know. She turned him down because she was married to someone else and loved him.

When him and his wife separated he wanted to move on fast. And while seeing me he was talking to two other women. Another thing I didn’t know.

Turns out because I was the one that checked off the most boxes he got serious with me.

We started having issues after I got pregnant with our first child. Due to complications my son almost died but luckily I had an operation that saved him.

We had issues with his family, we had blended family issues and it was all around just hard.

After my son was born I suffered severe post partum depression but still managed to care for my son and my stepdaughter.

The girl got a divorce and decided she wanted to be with my husband. They started chatting, and hanging out behind my back.

Some time went on, issues still happening. One day I went to family party of his and I forgot to pack a diaper bag. My son had an accident and I had to rush him home. He just let me do that on my own. He came angry because to him I was so stupid for forgetting a bag and told me he hated being with me.

He left and then slept with her. I didn’t know. I asked him to come home and work things out not knowing what he had done and the whole time he just complained about how vanilla I was. He dumped her and then came home. I found out I was pregnant again 3 weeks after he came back and asked me to have an abortion. Then a month later he accused me of getting pregnant on purpose to keep him.

There were constant fights, he was always miserable after having our second child he would call me vile horrible names because he felt I wasn’t doing enough.

He was so angry after our son was diagnosed with autism that he shook him and screamed in his face that he was mistake.

Over the years I caught him flirting with other women on instagram and he was still obsessed with that girl and whatever she was doing. I used to question and he’d gaslight me that they were friends.

Many years, many fights and many separations I just lost it for him.. and this was before I knew about his affair.

He stopped paying bills and got my car repossessed. On the way to picking up our belongings he told me hated me, he wished he could be rid of me he felt nothing for me. He did this while driving so I couldn’t get away from him.

I considered us separated at that point and just started living my life without him. The next fight we got into he confessed to the affair. Deep down I felt there was something going on but I was never sure. He confessed that he was in love with her and wanted her all along.

I asked him why he didn’t just spare us years of misery and left for her. He stayed for the kids… and I was pregnant.

I started seeing someone else briefly but it didn’t work out and after he moved out I tried dating other but it was disaster.

He broke down and cried that he loves me that he can’t live without me but I couldn’t do it. After about 2 months I decided to try again

I regret it. I don’t trust him. His presence is annoying and I feel like I’m doing this because at my age I won’t find anyone else.

I’m mad at him for stealing 10 years of my life and abusing me because he passed up the love of his life. That me and our children some how held him back.

I’m mad because I’m 46 and my time is over. Everyone looks at me like I’m damaged good and not good enough. And it makes me even more sick that after cheating on two wives and destroying two families he gets to just walk away with his career feed another woman a sob story and possibly get married again