u/LiteratureBudget5580

I had two geese. Toulouse.
About a year old.
About two months ago my male couldn’t walk and would just fall over. He ended up passing like two days after that.
Then I was left with my female.
Yesterday she couldn’t walk and would just fall. So I separated her and put some food/water next to her overnight. She ended up passing last night.
Does anyone know what this could be? It only occurred in my geese and two months apart from each other.

I had two geese. Toulouse.
About a year old.
About two months ago my male couldn’t walk and would just fall over. He ended up passing like two days after that.
Then I was left with my female.
Yesterday she couldn’t walk and would just fall. So I separated her and put some food/water next to her overnight. She ended up passing last night.
Does anyone know what this could be? It only occurred in my geese and two months apart from each other.

I hav nightmares often, but sometimes they come true.
Last year, I had a nightmare a raccoon got in my pigeon coop and killed my pigeons.
I woke up at 5am to go outside and a raccoon had gotten in and killed my pigeons.

Last night, I had a nightmare I got struck by lightning. I woke up at 3am and it was lightning really bad out. The worst I’ve ever seen. So much so, there was lightening in both windows and at one point lit up the whole room. It was constant for a few hours, every 5 seconds the sky was lit up.
I didn’t wake up before the nightmare and when I fell asleep it wasn’t storming out.
I didn’t get struck but I’ve been avoiding windows and such.

What does it mean when vivid nightmares occasionally come true?

My gf always wants me to talk to them about things, but whenever I do, my feelings are shutdown, turned into an argument or all they say is “I’m sorry.”
I’m bipolar 2 and going through a rough patch and sometimes use unhealthy coping mechanisms.
They get mad at me for it. They tell me to talk to them but whenever I do it just turns into arguments. They’re also bipolar but are on stable meds, I however am not on stable meds that work yet.
Sometimes I just want to be heard and comforted, not to get mad at.
I started smoking cigarettes again and didn’t tell them because I know it would just turn into a fight or argument. But they found my bottle with buds, barged in the room and asked if I was smoking. I said yes. Then they stormed out, and honestly I’m so tired of arguments and fights, I didn’t go after them to fix it.
I figured I’d let them cool down. But truthfully, idk what to say to not turn it into a fight. And instead of getting upset with me, why not just ask me why I’m smoking again?
They got mad when I didn’t/couldn’t eat, but I couldn’t eat because they’re stressing me tf out. But I can’t tell them that because it would just turn into an argument.
They once got mad at me because I’m always “miserable” which wasn’t entirely true, I was miserable some days but I was depressed.
I’d understand if they didn’t struggle with mental health, but being they did and are
Bipolar, why is it so hard for them to understand why I do things or am depressed? I don’t want to use unhealthy coping mechanisms but I’m just trying to keep myself alive atp.
When they storm off, it just brings me back to my traumatic childhood when people would get mad at small me and suddenly I’m the kid crying, telling myself it’s okay, and that I don’t need anyone.
They’re not like this all the time, sometimes they’re good. And it never used to be like this. But they always did get mad at me for the unhealthy coping mechanisms. More recently, the arguments all the time started though.
I love them and I just want some understanding sometimes.

My gf always wants me to talk to them about things, but whenever I do, my feelings are shutdown, turned into an argument or all they say is “I’m sorry.”
I’m bipolar 2 and going through a rough patch and sometimes use unhealthy coping mechanisms.
They get mad at me for it. They tell me to talk to them but whenever I do it just turns into arguments. They’re also bipolar but are on stable meds, I however am not on stable meds that work yet.
Sometimes I just want to be heard and comforted, not to get mad at.
I started smoking cigarettes again and didn’t tell them because I know it would just turn into a fight or argument. But they found my bottle with buds, barged in the room and asked if I was smoking. I said yes. Then they stormed out, and honestly I’m so tired of arguments and fights, I didn’t go after them to fix it.
I figured I’d let them cool down. But truthfully, idk what to say to not turn it into a fight. And instead of getting upset with me, why not just ask me why I’m smoking again?
They got mad when I didn’t/couldn’t eat, but I couldn’t eat because they’re stressing me tf out. But I can’t tell them that because it would just turn into an argument.
They once got mad at me because I’m always “miserable” which wasn’t entirely true, I was miserable some days but I was depressed.
I’d understand if they didn’t struggle with mental health, but being they did and are
Bipolar, why is it so hard for them to understand why I do things or am depressed? I don’t want to use unhealthy coping mechanisms but I’m just trying to keep myself alive atp.
When they storm off, it just brings me back to my traumatic childhood when people would get mad at small me and suddenly I’m the kid crying, telling myself it’s okay, and that I don’t need anyone.
They’re not like this all the time, sometimes they’re good. And it never used to be like this. But they always did get mad at me for the unhealthy coping mechanisms. More recently, the arguments all the time started though.
I love them and I just want some understanding.

I feel like, the older I get, the more autistic I become. I’m losing valuable life skills, speech skills, masking skills, etc.

I am demisexual, but my music taste is very sexual.
My favorite artists are $suicide boys, Insane clown posse and limp biz kit, and they aren’t asexual, however, I frequently listen to Kendrick Lamar, Kevin gates, Kayne west, sir mix a lot, lil drakie, juvenile, etc who are all sexual.
Im also lesbian.
If I like a song, it goes on my playlist, I don’t care if it’s sexual or not.
Does this make me less a person on the ace spectrum?

I feel bad for my partner. I feel them slowly losing hope for me. Loving me is hard. I don’t wanna be miserable for them all the time, but some days I just cannot help it.
They’re bipolar as well but are on good meds. I’m still experimenting with meds and still going through episodes, irritability, and mood swings.
I know my constant state of depression is taking a tool on them but idk how to help.

I started watching greys anatomy in 2022.
And I’ve since then, clung to the greys women, ones who are nurturing and loving.
Specifically, Amelia, Meredith, Arizona, and a few others.
They gave me love that my absent mother never gave me. They made me feel less alone and didn’t abandon me.
Was wondering if anyone else did/does this as well?

I often times think about how if my attempts ever work(ed), people that treat me poorly would feel bad after i was dead and wish they’d didn’t get mad at me for small things, didn’t yell at me, wish they’d spent more time with me, etc.
sometimes I feel like that’s the only way to get people to realize what they did/are doing was/is wrong.
Does anyone else do this too?

I’m 18, and In my state you can get your permit at 15, license by 16. I never got either.
Cars coming at me in different directions overwhelms me, as well as knowing when it’s your turn to go. I’m already bad with social cues on the ground, let alone in a car where I can’t fully read body language.
I feel behind from my peers.
And I hate relying on others for transportation.
But when I get anxious about cars coming at me or when it’s my turn to go, I entirely freeze or disassociate. And im scared I’ll sit at a red light overthinking what lane I’m supposed to be in, when I can go, what EXACT speed I must go, switching lanes, etc. if I overthink for too long I’ll shutdown and not be able to move my body let alone a car.
And I can’t hold attention to something for too long.
I’m scared I’m never gonna be able to drive.

Do any of you drive? And if you do, did you have any struggles?
If you can’t drive, why can’t you?

For me, I’d probably say it’s being in a relationship (I love my relationship but being autistic and in a long term relationship is hard sometimes), driving, and working.

I want to hear everyone’s biggest struggle, and if you were able to overcome it, how did you?

When most people read that, they’d assume I had said it because of their care and husbandry needs.
But that’s incorrect.

Rats care and husbandry I find rather easy.

What’s not easy, is their short lifespan.

Rats live 2-3 TOPS. During those two to three years, you bond strongly with them, they become apart of your everyday. They become your best friend. Possibly, even your soul rat.

Those two to three years tend to go by very quickly.
Then one day, you’ll wake up and your best friend is no longer.
And you carry that heartbreak for many weeks, months or even years.

You can get more rats, attempt to find one similar to one that passed, but the truth is, you won’t. Because every single rat is different in their own way. Getting more rats won’t fill the void. Sure, it takes some pain away. But it will also add to it when those rats start to get older. At the end of the day, you still lost a best friend.

Not to mention the fact, rats are more susceptible to tumors, respiratory infections, and more.
So your best friends life may reduce to a year or less. You can’t predict what illness a rat will fall to.
All you can do, is try your very hardest to prevent it.
But you can do EVERYTHING right, and your rat still fall to an illness. Sometimes, treatable, other times, terminal.

Rat ownership is the best thing that’s happened to me. I love my babies so much, I’d do anything for them. But I’m left everyday, crying over them.

I’ll continue to add rats to my mischief, and give them the best life possible.
But I’ve just accepted that I’ll probably be in heartbreak for the rest of my rat ownership life.

Owning rats is definitely not for the weak. If you can’t handle shirt lifespans, get a dog or cat, or bird. Because owning rats will break you.

I’ve noticed, I cannot retain information on anything other than my special interests (birds, and rats).
Does anyone else have this issue?
If so, what helped you retain information not regarding your special interest?