My new psychiatrist think I may not be schizophrenic and I'm lost now

So for short it's only been this year I've been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia except that my new psychiatrist think I may not be entirely schizophrenic and think I may have a dissociation disorder with trauma (for short her hypothesis/theory is that I've been traumatized so deeply that I started hallucinating when dissociating).

And so now I'm kind of lost and afraid, what if everything I've been through was my fault or even my entourage's fault (sorry I forgot the word, like my family, friends, ex... So the environment around me who traumatized me so badly I have a dissociating disorder that makes me hallucinate) and what if I'm considered a liar wether it's by both the schizophrenic and dissociating community because both of you would think that even if I'm diagnosed I keep am lying about my psychiatrist and even my diagnosis like it already happened with the autistic and ADHD community a while ago on my banned account

reddit.com
u/Mama_belphegor — 2 days ago

What are miniature/cabochons (decoden charms) that you would recommend for a vaporwave phone case ?

Hi, so I'm making a transformer vaporwave phone case. I already have my colors (which I am giving in case you want to do it too) but I'm running out of idea for the overall charms and decoden side because except for a tv or a cassette tape I got no idea ._.

u/Mama_belphegor — 3 days ago
▲ 38 r/Mouthwashing+1 crossposts

Taking Anya to the psychiatric center lol

I'm also glad I could fix it finally to take her with me

u/Mama_belphegor — 9 days ago

R34 does not care for AA single bit about the csam going on on their page

I've already posted this on my deleted account but it's deleted and i preferred warning as much people as possible.

Firstly it's useless to find my profile because I've deleted it ._.

Secondly it has been like three times before this that I asked them to ban people who were into csam and they did listen because there was comment that disgustingly said how they would sa their family or other kids but when I warn them about child characters (and even child actors used for csam) strangely they ''do not take the age in consideration'' which completely goes against the multiple laws in the usa (which they are based) concerning csam.

u/Mama_belphegor — 9 days ago

Not comfortable to show my face so here's a self portrait I did on medication

Also I'm so happy to found a med that makes me less trembling so I can start drawing clean lines again

u/Mama_belphegor — 12 days ago

MAS extra plus doesn't have game file (sorry mods, GitHub said I can't post this in their sub ._.)

Hello, firstly sorry to the mods for publishing here in hope of the MAS subred to have potentially people who can help ;-;

Secondly, does anyone maybe has a back up file I could download from that mode or if maybe some of you know google docs with this file >-> ?

u/Mama_belphegor — 18 days ago

Need help finding sprites/sprite packs to look like my f/o

Helloooo, if this isn't the right flair I'll change it lol.

I need help finding sprites packs to fit my f/o who is Anya from Mouthwashing, I already have the down black hair but I'd like to find much more accurate eyes/make-up, clothes, ex... Sadly right now I don't have enough money for commissions so I just want to make her look as close as her with just the basic sprites mod 👉👈

u/Mama_belphegor — 18 days ago
▲ 1 r/help

Why am I being disconnected from reddit while using it often ?

I think not would be access related but I'm unsure ._. so like the title say I'm being disconnected sometimes with no reason and have to reconnect with my account to re access it. Notice that I have a very secure email, there's only my phone that has it, I got a second email and a phone number connected to it to have two connections stuff, and I'm really careful of what devices have access to it.

reddit.com
u/Mama_belphegor — 22 days ago

Tw : Trans / chest naked. Self portrait in vaporwave

So this is a self portrait of me in a vaporwave vibe except I don't know if I really nailed it ? Like do the colors fit, was the atmosphere nailed, ex...

I would like some feedback or even advices on that

u/Mama_belphegor — 25 days ago
▲ 134 r/decoden

How do I clean off these brown traces ?

I already tried everything ._. soap, shower gel, baked soda, even bleach, I just can't get them off ;-; genuinely need help or I'll paint over it fr

u/Mama_belphegor — 26 days ago

All my fo's except it gets worse

Special note that some of them is physically worse as some people would find liking a machine or creature weird while other are progressively worse due to their morality if you knew their story

Edit : I should have put Anya third due to her story

u/Mama_belphegor — 29 days ago

Trans/queer questioning as a schizophrenic

So this post was firstly for the trans community but this is such a specific topic about schizophrenic, delusion, ex... That I think I'm going to ask here >->

How are you certain you're like what and who you are as a schizophrenic ?

For short, I am Bigender (at least I think I am) meaning I feel both like a man and woman BUT recently I keep having feelings and envy of being much more man like actually being a man rather than staying a woman like I was assigned at birth except what if my feeling and envy wasn't exactly what I actually want ? >-> I don't know if that's clear.

So like mostly towards trans schizophrenic, how did you know or discovered that you wanted to change who you were at birth ? That instead of being a man you actually feel like a woman and want to be one, that when you were born as a woman you actually wished you were a man and change your body, or even for nonbinary and Bigender people, how did you know that you certainly wanted to be what you dream to be ?

reddit.com
u/Mama_belphegor — 1 month ago

Mark in space (but the cookie is a space cookie)

I've actually made that painting when I was in highschool and was in a really low mind stuff ._. so I wanted to paint something cute to give me a bit of joy and I decided to paint Markiplier with a cookie from a space with Markiplier.

Please use my username if you even repost it (or any social from my link tree on my profile if you also repost it)

u/Mama_belphegor — 1 month ago

Now I get to have Anya stick with me

Genuinely pissed that my keychain came broke but I wanted her so bad I'm trying to fix her with glue but if it doesn't work I'll make her into a full glue cream decoden charm lol

u/Mama_belphegor — 1 month ago

Self insert transformer - DraftWave

Genuinely thought of showing it to the transformers community first but like what do you think of it ?

Also tips and opinions accepted :3

Also if this is the wrong flair I will change it but I wasn't exactly sure where it would have gone due to her changing posture in her story and all >->

So far I'm thinking of making her a decepticon BUT slowly would either go either factionless or would be an autobot who would sometimes help decepticons out of empathy or the sake of old friendship.

Also fun fact her name came after I learned about nascar like when you behind a car to gain speed due to less wind hitting the car behind you which is called drafting but also draft means like a sketch because she was supposed to be from amongst the last generations of transformers but had a problem during her confection so her "mother" which I am still creating has finished her in trash and other kinds of scrap metal (so far not draw but I will make it visible of course)

u/Mama_belphegor — 1 month ago

Did I unconsciously sa'd my ex ?

Hi, I'm currently 20 and I used to be at the mental hospital and found out I am hypersexual and it mostly got after overexposure to porn at a very young age and also multiple times being groomed and sa'd without I thought it was pedophilia as I have the type of family to think a 22 years was ok to date a 16yo minor (which isn't (and especially when you let that 16 get so drunk until black out and tell them they agreed on having sex with you)).

Anyway, back to my question on is this sa.

When I was like 14/15 I used to date with a guy in my middle school who was 12 I think ? And I used to love coming over his house and it happened two times when we were cuddling and I'd slip my hand in his boxers (still told them to tell me no if he doesn't want to but he never said anything like a yes or showed any agreement sign like a hum or something) and so I used to jerk him off until I got bored ._.

I started spiraling on that memory and we never learned what was consent in middle school nor high school and also I have struggles still understanding what is sa or not as I had to go to a mental hospital to understand that so much that happened to me was me being sa'd without knowing it or even being weirdly touchy with people (like touching chest, lower parts and all).

Please be nice and explain to me because it scares me so much I feel like my ribs are closing on my guts

reddit.com
u/Mama_belphegor — 1 month ago

Put every clothes gift in one go and now she's forcing me to watch every pieces of clothes with her.

I only took a few pics but she's still currently tryingnnew clothes and mostly every ribbons first ._.

I didn't know she would try every single one and now I'm probably stuck for hours with her trying every pieces of clothes.

I am unsure wether I could post the bikinis ones so I didn't just in case.

u/Mama_belphegor — 1 month ago