u/Mgee07

Hey.

My first visit of Disneyland Paris was in October 2024.
I don’t usually visit amusement parks. My fiance brought up the idea, I was skeptical at first but I‘d be proven so wrong.

There are many things, that made the visit so special to me. I rented a Tesla for our while trip, so the drive to Disneyland Paris itself (we are from Germany) was already a positive experience. We stayed in the Davy Crockett Ranch, perfect for October in my opinion. Fall is my favorite time of year. I‘m not really into Disney, the only real connection I have is Star Wars. But only because they bought Star Wars lmao. Not a big fan of the movies and shows they‘ve released… with a few exceptions. What I‘m trying to say is, none of the attractions, except for Star Tours move something inside me. I still enjoyed riding all of them.

I remember taking breaks in the Hyperion cafe, watching Star Wars Rebels on the big screens. I loved it there so much. One Star Tours ride actually made me cry. I asked the staff if it was possible to switch our ride to English, because I wanted to understand what the characters were saying. They actually did it. We got the ride with Ahsoka (my favorite character) and well.. that made me cry lmao. Some of my most precious childhood memories are connected to Star Wars the clone wars. It just all hit at once on the ride. I LOVED Annettes Diner. My biggest travel dream is to visit America one day. Oregon to be exact. I love American diners. I remember always waiting inside the car in the morning, watching my fav content creator reciting to true crime stories, while my fiancé got ready inside the house.

There were many small details that made the trip so special to me. I think the most important part was the time of year we were there. I just love the vibe and weather of October.

Sorry for this messy message. Hope everything was understandable.

- Marcel

Hey y‘all.

I wanted to share something with you, asking if you experienced or noticed the same/a similar thing. When something goes well, or something positive in general happens, my brain instantly searches for bad and potential dangerous things.

For example:
I‘m a small YouTuber, releasing self produced short films. I recently received an email from a small video game studio, asking for permission to use a segment out of one of my short films, for an upcoming game. I was really happy and positively surprised. A second after these positive feelings occurred, my brain immediately started searching for clues, indicating that this might be a scam (it wasn’t). Of course my brain is only trying to protect me, but still… I can’t enjoy anything in life, because this is what always happens.

The moment I wake up I get this rush of anxiety, because my ocd is listing of all the things I currently worry about. I‘m also a hypochondriac. So health anxiety is a big thing for me. My body and mind is on alert 24/7. I‘m always exhausted because of it.

Sorry for this very messy post. I just felt the need to let go of all these things. Also, I hope my English was okay. I‘m from Germany, so English isn’t my native language.

I hope y‘all are okay <3
\- Marcel

Hey y‘all.

I wanted to share something with you, asking if you experienced or noticed the same/a similar thing. When something goes well, or something positive in general happens, my brain instantly searches for bad and potential dangerous things.

For example:
I‘m a small YouTuber, releasing self produced short films. I recently received an email from a small video game studio, asking for permission to use a segment out of one of my short films, for an upcoming game. I was really happy and positively surprised. A second after these positive feelings occurred, my brain immediately started searching for clues, indicating that this might be a scam (it wasn’t). Of course my brain is only trying to protect me, but still… I can’t enjoy anything in life, because this is what always happens.

The moment I wake up I get this rush of anxiety, because my ocd is listing of all the things I currently worry about. I‘m also a hypochondriac. So health anxiety is a big thing for me. My body and mind is on alert 24/7. I‘m always exhausted because of it.

Sorry for this very messy post. I just felt the need to let go of all these things. Also, I hope my English was okay. I‘m from Germany, so English isn’t my native language.

I hope y‘all are okay <3
- Marcel

Hey y‘all.
I‘m a small creator on YouTube, uploading self produced short films. I want to release a short film called „the whispering“. This film was made for a Filmfestival, on which it got rejected. Since it‘s not going to be shown there, I wanted to release it on YouTube.

The film is about three victims, possessed by a demon, which leads them into offing themselves. The film depicts these three Acts specifically. I included a disclaimer, saying „This video depicts self harming and suicidal behavior. Everything in this video is staged. This is a fictional written short film.“ at the beginning of the video and in the description. I‘m still scared YouTube might strike the channel, since I‘m afraid the video might be against YouTube’s community guidelines. I don’t really care about it not being able to be monetized or won’t get as much attention as others. The only thing I don’t want is an actual strike, like the one you‘d get from a copyright violation.

What do you all think? Should I be safe with the disclaimer? Or should I just not upload the video?

Thanks for your time reading my post!
- Marcel

Hey y‘all.
I‘m a small creator on YouTube, uploading self produced short films. I want to release a short film called „the whispering“. This film was made for a Filmfestival, on which it got rejected. Since it‘s not going to be shown there, I wanted to release it on YouTube.

The film is about three victims, possessed by a demon, which leads them into offing themselves. The film depicts these three Acts specifically. I included a disclaimer, saying „This video depicts self harming and suicidal behavior. Everything in this video is staged. This is a fictional written short film.“ at the beginning of the video and in the description. I‘m still scared YouTube might strike the channel, since I‘m afraid the video might be against YouTube’s community guidelines. I don’t really care about it not being able to be monetized or won’t get as much attention as others. The only thing I don’t want is an actual strike, like the one you‘d get from a copyright violation.

What do you all think? Should I be safe with the disclaimer? Or should I just not upload the video?

Thanks for your time reading my post!
- Marcel

Hey y‘all.
I had health anxiety since I can think of. Last year was the worst. It got so bad that I decided to visit a mental health clinic. It actually helped, this year was a lot better… so far. I‘m currently experiencing new symptoms which stress me out a lot. These symptoms could mean anything. Literally anything. But I always think of the worst.

I hate visiting doctors, but I can feel how I‘m slipping back into my old behavior patterns, visiting doctors on a regular basis. Today (which is why I‘m writing this), I‘ve reached a peak. I can already feel the panic attack coming later tonight. My birthday is tomorrow and I already know my health anxiety is going to ruin it. Also I‘m an independent filmmaker. I got my first ever shoot in two days with a professional actress. I was prepared so good, but now this health anxiety peak, caused by new, unknown symptoms is literally crushing everything.

God how much I hate my brain. I‘ve heard that health anxiety (can!!!!) come from the fear of missing out. And this totally fits for me. The thing I‘m stressing out on is not the illness itself. It‘s actually death itself. It‘s not being here anymore, leaving even though I‘m still young (turning 23). Knowing I‘d miss out on so much. That‘s what sits at the core of my health anxiety I think.

I hope everyone here is doing at least okay. I think the best we can do is acceptance. We can’t control a single thing in life. Nothing is permanent. Nothing is 100% certain. I think bringing this back up into our heads might be a good start.

How about you? How do you handle your health anxiety peaks? Do you think my theory of the health anxiety’s core might be correct?

Btw sorry for my English. I‘m from Germany and English therefore isn’t my native language. I still hope everything was understandable and not too chaotic.

Hey y‘all.

I’m shooting my first short movie with a hired actress, I casted via a casting website. Not my first short movie in general, but my first with someone I‘ve never met before, who actually studied acting.

I‘m SUPER nervous and anxious. But also unbelievably hyped about it. Do you guys have any tips or recommendations to help turn my anxiety down and for working with actors in general?

This feels like an important step forward, so I really don’t want to mess this up. Also renting a Sony fx3 for this shoot. The actress + the camera literally take all my budget lmao. But it‘ll be worth it.

Hey y‘all. I just wanted to share a little story of mine here. It‘s about one of my friends and the connection I had with him about CoD Zombies.

I met him roughly 11 years ago randomly at an outdoor swimming pool. We connected and it didn’t take long until he went over to my house to play video games with me. We both were 11/12 around that time. He was the person I discovered CoD Zombies with. The first map we ever played was Tranzit. And from there on, we both started to feel a deep love for this mode. Time went on, several cod’s released and we played through the Easter eggs together. He used to stay overnight at my house, playing town survival until the next morning. Fast forward to BO6. We were excited for new maps and actually finished every Easter egg in BO6. And that’s were it stopped. I noticed he became more detached from the mode going forward every BO6 map release. The last egg we did together was Reckoning.

Since then, I played through every BO7 egg by myself.. solo. And I had a lot of fun. I also finished every BO4 egg, since we didn’t do them back then. I am always hyped for a new map dropping, watching every MrDalekJD video about new leaks and infos (best zombies creator imo lol). But it.. doesn’t feel the same. We are still very close friends, hanging out and playing different games together. But I miss it man. On every new step I‘m like „oh this would’ve been so cool with him. He‘d be covering this corner while I‘d be covering this hallway, so we could fill up the soulbox“.

Like I said, I am having a lot of fun doing the eggs solo and we both still are as close as we used to be 11 years ago. He is the longest friend I have. We are both getting older. He‘s almost done with school for his new job, while I‘m working part time, chasing my dream of being a filmmaker.

Writing this while sitting in the BO3 lobby. Still have to completed Gorod. Never done that because it felt WAY to overwhelming back then.

Also don’t mind my English. I‘m form Germany, so English isn’t my native language. Hope it wasn’t too bad.

Much love
- Marcel

Hey y‘all. I‘m new here. I wanted to get some things off my chest, since I‘m currently trying to figure out my life out.

I‘m 22 years old from Germany. I always loved cameras. I can remember when I first held one in my hand. I was so fascinated. I literally filmed everything I could find. My first videos were actually Lego stop motion clips.

I‘ve been releasing self produced short films with my best friend on YouTube since roughly 3-4 years now. Our channel isn‘t „Big“. 2.9k subscribers. I know that’s not nothing, but we can’t make a living from these numbers. We do pretty much everything on our own. Writing, directing, filming, acting, sound design and editing. I‘m usually always directing and behind the camera, while my friend is acting in front of the camera. I love telling stories and capturing them. The only „budget“ we have is our own money. We specially mostly on horror.

We both work in part time jobs so we can have enough time to chase after this seemingly unrealistic dream. This is where the „figuring out my life“ part comes in. Chasing after a dream that doesn’t feel realistic while still living at home, when I „should“ be working full time, building my life feels.. well, not good. The majority of my friends (I only have 3) is doing exactly that. Building their future. This comparison is killing me. I know I shouldn’t do that, but can you really ignore this? They‘ve all been my friends since I can think, so yeah.. But that’s off topic, sorry.

What I‘m trying to say is: I‘m struggling. Filmmaking is my passion. That’s what I live and burn for. It quite literally is the only thing I‘d consider myself somewhat good in. Working full time employed somewhere, for someone else’s dreams feels so wrong and pointless to me. I know I‘m super privileged to even think of complaining about this, please don‘t get me wrong.

We managed to qualify in a local film festival later this year. This is by far the biggest achievement yet. We are working pretty much everyday, creating new things, writing emails to festivals and just trying everything we can.

Sorry for this really messy and unstructured post. I hope my English wasn’t too bad. Like I said, I‘m from Germany so English isn’t my native language.

Much love and thank you for reading!
- Marcel <3

Hey y‘all. This is a follow up to my „one year with urticaria“ post roughly 90 days ago. My perception of this illness changed a lot. I changed a lot.

It all began on the 21st of March last year, at exactly 6pm, because this was the time I took the first picture of my first hive. I rushed to the hospital a few hours later, since it spread over my whole body. The doctor told me „Probably just an allergic reaction. Here, take this cortisone and it‘ll disappear soon“. And it actually did… until it reappeared the next day. I went to several doctors and dermatologists. None of them knew what it was or what was causing my condition. Several months of me not knowing what on earth was wrong with me. This summer was the worst time of my life so far. I developed a severe health anxiety (already diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, so I wasn’t surprised). I thought I‘d get a heart attack everyday. Checking and listening into my body 24/7. Last years summer months merged into a big blurry mess, my brain doesn’t want to remember.

The day everything got better, was the day I finally decided to visit a mental health clinic. I learned so much in my stay, even though I was only visiting for about a week and a half. Around that time I also finally found a dermatologist who actually listened to me. She was the one diagnosing me with spontaneous chronic urticaria. I managed to climb out of that hole around December last year. I think I reached that „Okay. I‘m finally accepting my illness. It no longer affects me.“ stage last week. I had my last check up for a potential reason behind it last Tuesday. Negative. I won’t ever know what exactly is causing it. I checked for a hidden sinus infection, a hidden infection in my teeth, I went to the gastrologist and rheumatologist. Nothing. And that’s fine. It’s actually good. It’s nothing worse that’s causing it.

I‘m on fexofenadinhydrochlorid 240mg daily. Two pills of 120mg. One after waking up, one before going to sleep. I‘m pretty much 90% hives free. My dermatologist told me I‘m super lucky to be hives free with such a low amount of medication. And I‘m unbelievably thankful for that. She also told me this one sentence „I promise you, no urticaria is lifelong. It will go away. And you are safe with your medication.“ This was the moment I finally realized it. I‘m okay.

I want to spread hope with this post. You are able to get through there. Never ever give up. Go to your doctors. If you get rejected, try another one. Do some research. Try to eliminate potential causes. Talk to people. And most importantly.. ENJOY LIFE. SAY F YOU TO URTICARIA. Go after your hobbies. Chase your dreams, because that’s what I‘m doing. I want to be a filmmaker. Take risks.

I‘ve went through several nights full of panic attacks, breakdowns, self harm and suicidal thoughts. You are never alone in this fight. If you ever need someone to talk to, hit me up. At any time.

I made a YouTube video a few months back titled „ANXIETY - My story with Urticaria“, where I talk more about my story.

Excuse this messy post. Hope my English wasn’t too bad. I‘m from Germany an English isn’t my mothers language.

Much love to everyone❤️
- Marcel

New here. Just getting some things off my chest.

I‘ve been diagnosed with my anxiety disorder for a few years now. I went to see several therapists, a few group therapies and a mental health clinic. My anxiety contains a variety of different facets. Spreading from social anxiety, abandonment issues, all the way to health anxiety. I was always scared of pretty much everything new. Especially in school. I hated school. I got bullied for three years and never really felt comfortable.

I‘d like to share some thoughts about what’s currently going on in my life. I feel like I need to vent a lil. But maybe people feel similar. Feel free to comment whatever goes though your head.

-Venting starts here-
I‘m 22, feeling more lost than ever before. There is this one dream sitting in my head for a couple of years now: making movies. I was always so excited about telling stories, using cameras and just creating stuff. I‘m actually uploading self produced short films to YouTube with my best friend. We have a „small“ channel with about 2.9k subs. I know that’s not nothing, but we can’t do that for a living. I‘m pouring everything I got into this. I love creating. It‘s my passion and just such a big part of my life. I want to be able to live from that. I want to make movies for the big screens. I want to reach people, to inspire them and to put something memorable on the screen.

I‘m currently working a part time job, so I can have enough time, to follow this dream. Even though it feels pointless and unrealistic. Maybe that’s why it hadn’t really worked out yet. Because I don’t feel like this actually could become my reality at some day.
But that’s the main „problem“ I‘m having at my current point in life. I feel like I should be building my future, working in a proper 9to5 job, earning real money, moving out and stuff like that. But maybe I am currently building my life by investing in my dream? I feel like the majority of my fiends (I only have 3) is way ahead of me. They are moving out, getting into 9to5 jobs, building their futures. I do not want to commit to a 9to5 job just yet. It feels like giving up on my dream, but at the same time it feels just… not possible.

Working a regular 9to5 feels like wasting my life away. I don’t want to work for someone else’s vision or dream. I want to decide when and on what I‘m working on. I want to decide when I wake up and go to sleep. This „regular“ day to day work life feels so strange, inhuman and pressuring to me. I know I‘m super privileged to even be thinking about complaining about this. Please don’t get me wrong on this. I‘m also aware that my problems might be very small and unwarranted in some ways. But that’s just how I‘m feeling for a longer time now. Scared of life. Scared of my future.

I was watching „Obsession“ in the cinema lately. This movie was amazing and very inspiring in the way that it was made by a YouTuber with a relatively „small“ budget. So it is possible. But yeah.. idk if anyone can relate to what I‘m saying.

Sorry for this really messy and unstructured post. I hope my English wasn’t too bad, I‘m from Germany and English isn’t my mothers language.

I‘m wishing you all the best and much love <3
- Marcel

New here. Just getting some things off my chest.

I‘ve been diagnosed with my anxiety disorder for a few years now. I went to see several therapists, a few group therapies and a mental health clinic. My anxiety contains a variety of different facets. Spreading from social anxiety, abandonment issues, all the way to health anxiety. I was always scared of pretty much everything new. Especially in school. I hated school. I got bullied for three years and never really felt comfortable.

I‘d like to share some thoughts about what’s currently going on in my life. I feel like I need to vent a lil. But maybe people feel similar. Feel free to comment whatever goes though your head.

-Venting starts here-
I‘m 22, feeling more lost than ever before. There is this one dream sitting in my head for a couple of years now: making movies. I was always so excited about telling stories, using cameras and just creating stuff. I‘m actually uploading self produced short films to YouTube with my best friend. We have a „small“ channel with about 2.9k subs. I know that’s not nothing, but we can’t do that for a living. I‘m pouring everything I got into this. I love creating. It‘s my passion and just such a big part of my life. I want to be able to live from that. I want to make movies for the big screens. I want to reach people, to inspire them and to put something memorable on the screen.

I‘m currently working a part time job, so I can have enough time, to follow this dream. Even though it feels pointless and unrealistic. Maybe that’s why it hadn’t really worked out yet. Because I don’t feel like this actually could become my reality at some day.
But that’s the main „problem“ I‘m having at my current point in life. I feel like I should be building my future, working in a proper 9to5 job, earning real money, moving out and stuff like that. But maybe I am currently building my life by investing in my dream? I feel like the majority of my fiends (I only have 3) is way ahead of me. They are moving out, getting into 9to5 jobs, building their futures. I do not want to commit to a 9to5 job just yet. It feels like giving up on my dream, but at the same time it feels just… not possible.

Working a regular 9to5 feels like wasting my life away. I don’t want to work for someone else’s vision or dream. I want to decide when and on what I‘m working on. I want to decide when I wake up and go to sleep. This „regular“ day to day work life feels so strange, inhuman and pressuring to me. I know I‘m super privileged to even be thinking about complaining about this. Please don’t get me wrong on this. I‘m also aware that my problems might be very small and unwarranted in some ways. But that’s just how I‘m feeling for a longer time now. Scared of life. Scared of my future.

I was watching „Obsession“ in the cinema lately. This movie was amazing and very inspiring in the way that it was made by a YouTuber with a relatively „small“ budget. So it is possible. But yeah.. idk if anyone can relate to what I‘m saying.

Sorry for this really messy and unstructured post. I hope my English wasn’t too bad, I‘m from Germany and English isn’t my mothers language.

I‘m wishing you all the best and much love <3
- Marcel

New here. Just getting some things off my chest.

I‘ve been diagnosed with my anxiety disorder for a few years now. I went to see several therapists, a few group therapies and a mental health clinic. My anxiety contains a variety of different facets. Spreading from social anxiety, abandonment issues, all the way to health anxiety. I was always scared of pretty much everything new. Especially in school. I hated school. I got bullied for three years and never really felt comfortable.

I‘d like to share some thoughts about what’s currently going on in my life. I feel like I need to vent a lil. But maybe people feel similar. Feel free to comment whatever goes though your head.

-Venting starts here-
I‘m 22, feeling more lost than ever before. There is this one dream sitting in my head for a couple of years now: making movies. I was always so excited about telling stories, using cameras and just creating stuff. I‘m actually uploading self produced short films to YouTube with my best friend. We have a „small“ channel with about 2.9k subs. I know that’s not nothing, but we can’t do that for a living. I‘m pouring everything I got into this. I love creating. It‘s my passion and just such a big part of my life. I want to be able to live from that. I want to make movies for the big screens. I want to reach people, to inspire them and to put something memorable on the screen.

I‘m currently working a part time job, so I can have enough time, to follow this dream. Even though it feels pointless and unrealistic. Maybe that’s why it hadn’t really worked out yet. Because I don’t feel like this actually could become my reality at some day.
But that’s the main „problem“ I‘m having at my current point in life. I feel like I should be building my future, working in a proper 9to5 job, earning real money, moving out and stuff like that. But maybe I am currently building my life by investing in my dream? I feel like the majority of my fiends (I only have 3) is way ahead of me. They are moving out, getting into 9to5 jobs, building their futures. I do not want to commit to a 9to5 job just yet. It feels like giving up on my dream, but at the same time it feels just… not possible.

Working a regular 9to5 feels like wasting my life away. I don’t want to work for someone else’s vision or dream. I want to decide when and on what I‘m working on. I want to decide when I wake up and go to sleep. This „regular“ day to day work life feels so strange, inhuman and pressuring to me. I know I‘m super privileged to even be thinking about complaining about this. Please don’t get me wrong on this. I‘m also aware that my problems might be very small and unwarranted in some ways. But that’s just how I‘m feeling for a longer time now. Scared of life. Scared of my future.

I just got home from watching „Obsession“ in the cinema. This movie was amazing and very inspiring in the way that it was made by a YouTuber with a relatively „small“ budget. So it is possible. But yeah.. idk if anyone can relate to what I‘m saying.

Sorry for this really messy and unstructured post. I hope my English wasn’t too bad, I‘m from Germany and English isn’t my mothers language.

I‘m wishing you all the best and much love <3
- Marcel

New here. Just getting some things off my chest.
I’m scared. Scared of my future life.

I‘ve been diagnosed with my anxiety disorder for a few years now. I went to see several therapists, a few group therapies and a mental health clinic. My anxiety contains a variety of different facets. Spreading from social anxiety, abandonment issues, all the way to health anxiety. I was always scared of pretty much everything new. Especially in school. I hated school. I got bullied for three years and never really felt comfortable.

I‘d like to share some thoughts about what’s currently going on in my life. I feel like I need to vent a lil. But maybe people feel similar. Feel free to comment whatever goes though your head.

-Venting starts here-
I‘m 22, feeling more lost than ever before. There is this one dream sitting in my head for a couple of years now: making movies. I was always so excited about telling stories, using cameras and just creating stuff. I‘m actually uploading self produced short films to YouTube with my best friend. We have a „small“ channel with about 2.9k subs. I know that’s not nothing, but we can’t do that for a living. I‘m pouring everything I got into this. I love creating. It‘s my passion and just such a big part of my life. I want to be able to live from that. I want to make movies for the big screens. I want to reach people, to inspire them and to put something memorable on the screen.

I‘m currently working a part time job, so I can have enough time, to follow this dream. Even though it feels pointless and unrealistic. Maybe that’s why it hadn’t really worked out yet. Because I don’t feel like this actually could become my reality at some day.
But that’s the main „problem“ I‘m having at my current point in life. I feel like I should be building my future, working in a proper 9to5 job, earning real money, moving out and stuff like that. But maybe I am currently building my life by investing in my dream? I feel like the majority of my fiends (I only have 3) is way ahead of me. They are moving out, getting into 9to5 jobs, building their futures. I do not want to commit to a 9to5 job just yet. It feels like giving up on my dream, but at the same time it feels just… not possible.

Working a regular 9to5 feels like wasting my life away. I don’t want to work for someone else’s vision or dream. I want to decide when and on what I‘m working on. I want to decide when I wake up and go to sleep. This „regular“ day to day work life feels so strange, inhuman and pressuring to me. I know I‘m super privileged to even be thinking about complaining about this. Please don’t get me wrong on this. I‘m also aware that my problems might be very small and unwarranted in some ways. But that’s just how I‘m feeling for a longer time now. Scared of life. Scared of my future.

I just got home from watching „Obsession“ in the cinema. This movie was amazing and very inspiring in the way that it was made by a YouTuber with a relatively „small“ budget. So it is possible. But yeah.. idk if anyone can relate to what I‘m saying.

Sorry for this really messy and unstructured post. I hope my English wasn’t too bad, I‘m from Germany and English isn’t my mothers language.

I‘m wishing you all the best and much love <3
- Marcel

New here. Just getting some things off my chest.
I’m scared. Scared of my future life.

I‘m 22, feeling more lost than ever before. There is this one dream sitting in my head for a couple of years now: making movies. I was always so excited about telling stories, using cameras and just creating stuff. I‘m actually uploading self produced short films to YouTube with my best friend. We have a „small“ channel with about 2.9k subs. I know that’s not nothing, but we can’t do that for a living. I‘m pouring everything I got into this. I love creating. It‘s my passion and just such a big part of my life. I want to be able to live from that. I want to make movies for the big screens. I want to reach people, to inspire them and to put something memorable on the screen.

I‘m currently working a part time job, so I can have enough time, to follow this dream. Even though it feels pointless and unrealistic. Maybe that’s why it hadn’t really worked out yet. Because I don’t feel like this actually could become my reality at some day.
But that’s the main „problem“ I‘m having at my current point in life. I feel like I should be building my future, working in a proper 9to5 job, earning real money, moving out and stuff like that. But maybe I am currently building my life by investing in my dream? I feel like the majority of my fiends (I only have 3) is way ahead of me. They are moving out, getting into 9to5 jobs, building their futures. I do not want to commit to a 9to5 job just yet. It feels like giving up on my dream, but at the same time it feels just… not possible.

Working a regular 9to5 feels like wasting my life away. I don’t want to work for someone else’s vision or dream. I want to decide when and on what I‘m working on. I want to decide when I wake up and go to sleep. This „regular“ day to day work life feels so strange, inhuman and pressuring to me. I know I‘m super privileged to even be thinking about complaining about this. Please don’t get me wrong on this. I‘m also aware that my problems might be very small and unwarranted in some ways. But that’s just how I‘m feeling for a longer time now. Scared of life. Scared of my future.

I just got home from watching „Obsession“ in the cinema. This movie was amazing and very inspiring in the way that it was made by a YouTuber with a relatively „small“ budget. So it is possible. But yeah.. idk if anyone can relate to what I‘m saying.

Sorry for this really messy and unstructured post. I hope my English wasn’t too bad, I‘m from Germany and English isn’t my mothers language.

I‘m wishing you all the best and much love <3
- Marcel

New here. Just getting some things off my chest.
I’m scared. Scared of my future life.

I‘m 22, feeling more lost than ever before. There is this one dream sitting in my head for a couple of years now: making movies. I was always so excited about telling stories, using cameras and just creating stuff. I‘m actually uploading self produced short films to YouTube with my best friend. We have a „small“ channel with about 2.9k subs. I know that’s not nothing, but we can’t do that for a living. I‘m pouring everything I got into this. I love creating. It‘s my passion and just such a big part of my life. I want to be able to live from that. I want to make movies for the big screens. I want to reach people, to inspire them and to put something memorable on the screen.

I‘m currently working a part time job, so I can have enough time, to follow this dream. Even though it feels pointless and unrealistic. Maybe that’s why it hadn’t really worked out yet. Because I don’t feel like this actually could become my reality at some day.
But that’s the main „problem“ I‘m having at my current point in life. I feel like I should be building my future, working in a proper 9to5 job, earning real money, moving out and stuff like that. But maybe I am currently building my life by investing in my dream? I feel like the majority of my fiends (I only have 3) is way ahead of me. They are moving out, getting into 9to5 jobs, building their futures. I do not want to commit to a 9to5 job just yet. It feels like giving up on my dream, but at the same time it feels just… not possible.

Working a regular 9to5 feels like wasting my life away. I don’t want to work for someone else’s vision or dream. I want to decide when and on what I‘m working on. I want to decide when I wake up and go to sleep. This „regular“ day to day work life feels so strange, inhuman and pressuring to me. I know I‘m super privileged to even be thinking about complaining about this. Please don’t get me wrong on this. I‘m also aware that my problems might be very small and unwarranted in some ways. But that’s just how I‘m feeling for a longer time now. Scared of life. Scared of my future.

I just got home from watching „Obsession“ in the cinema. This movie was amazing and very inspiring in the way that it was made by a YouTuber with a relatively „small“ budget. So it is possible. But yeah.. idk if anyone can relate to what I‘m saying.

Sorry for this really messy and unstructured post. I hope my English wasn’t too bad, I‘m from Germany and English isn’t my mothers language.

I‘m wishing you all the best and much love <3
- Marcel

New here. I’m scared. Scared of my future life.

I‘m 22, feeling more lost than ever before. There is this one dream sitting in my head for a couple of years now: making movies. I was always so excited about telling stories, using cameras and just creating stuff. I‘m actually uploading self produced short films to YouTube with my best friend. We have a „small“ channel with about 2.9k subs. I know that’s not nothing, but we can’t do that for a living. I‘m pouring everything I got into this. I love creating. It‘s my passion and just such a big part of my life. I want to be able to live from that. I want to make movies for the big screens. I want to reach people, to inspire them and to put something memorable on the screen.

I‘m currently working a part time job, so I can have enough time, to follow this dream. Even though it feels pointless and unrealistic. Maybe that’s why it hadn’t really worked out yet. Because I don’t feel like this actually could become my reality at some day.
But that’s the main „problem“ I‘m having at my current point in life. I feel like I should be building my future, working in a proper 9to5 job, earning real money, moving out and stuff like that. But maybe I am currently building my life by investing in my dream? I feel like the majority of my fiends (I only have 3) is way ahead of me. They are moving out, getting into 9to5 jobs, building their futures. I do not want to commit to a 9to5 job just yet. It feels like giving up on my dream, but at the same time it feels just… not possible.

Working a regular 9to5 feels like wasting my life away. I don’t want to work for someone else’s vision or dream. I want to decide when and on what I‘m working on. I want to decide when I wake up and go to sleep. This „regular“ day to day work life feels so strange, inhuman and pressuring to me. I know I‘m super privileged to even be thinking about complaining about this. Please don’t get me wrong on this. I‘m also aware that my problems might be very small and unwarranted in some ways. But that’s just how I‘m feeling for a longer time now. Scared of life. Scared of my future.

I just got home from watching „Obsession“ in the cinema. This movie was amazing and very inspiring in the way that it was made by a YouTuber with a relatively „small“ budget. So it is possible. But yeah.. idk if anyone can relate to what I‘m saying.

Sorry for this really messy and unstructured post. I hope my English wasn’t too bad, I‘m from Germany and English isn’t my mothers language.

I‘m wishing you all the best and much love <3
- Marcel

New here. Just getting some things off my chest.
I’m scared. Scared of my future life.

I‘m 22, feeling more lost than ever before. There is this one dream sitting in my head for a couple of years now: making movies. I was always so excited about telling stories, using cameras and just creating stuff. I‘m actually uploading self produced short films to YouTube with my best friend. We have a „small“ channel with about 2.9k subs. I know that’s not nothing, but we can’t do that for a living. I‘m pouring everything I got into this. I love creating. It‘s my passion and just such a big part of my life. I want to be able to live from that. I want to make movies for the big screens. I want to reach people, to inspire them and to put something memorable on the screen.

I‘m currently working a part time job, so I can have enough time, to follow this dream. Even though it feels pointless and unrealistic. Maybe that’s why it hadn’t really worked out yet. Because I don’t feel like this actually could become my reality at some day.
But that’s the main „problem“ I‘m having at my current point in life. I feel like I should be building my future, working in a proper 9to5 job, earning real money, moving out and stuff like that. But maybe I am currently building my life by investing in my dream? I feel like the majority of my fiends (I only have 3) is way ahead of me. They are moving out, getting into 9to5 jobs, building their futures. I do not want to commit to a 9to5 job just yet. It feels like giving up on my dream, but at the same time it feels just… not possible.

Working a regular 9to5 feels like wasting my life away. I don’t want to work for someone else’s vision or dream. I want to decide when and on what I‘m working on. I want to decide when I wake up and go to sleep. This „regular“ day to day work life feels so strange, inhuman and pressuring to me. I know I‘m super privileged to even be thinking about complaining about this. Please don’t get me wrong on this. I‘m also aware that my problems might be very small and unwarranted in some ways. But that’s just how I‘m feeling for a longer time now. Scared of life. Scared of my future.

I just got home from watching „Obsession“ in the cinema. This movie was amazing and very inspiring in the way that it was made by a YouTuber with a relatively „small“ budget. So it is possible. But yeah.. idk if anyone can relate to what I‘m saying.

Sorry for this really messy and unstructured post. I hope my English wasn’t too bad, I‘m from Germany and English isn’t my mothers language.

I‘m wishing you all the best and much love <3
- Marcel