u/Motor-Concert2057

Hi I am 19, currently doing mbbs. I know a lot of people might think it's too young to decide all this but I have been sure as hell since childhood that I do not want to have kids.

I'm childfree because I grew up in a very abusive and toxic family. My parents were very cruel and I went though a lot. I still struggle with mental health but I keep trying to be better and happier. And there are other reasons too such as the absurdity of our existence and the state of the world today. I think I'm almost an antinatalist now.

I'm an atheist and would prefer someone with the same beliefs. But I'm also fine with people who believe in god given that they don't have blind faith, and instead prioritise kindness and empathy.

I believe in feminism. I believe if you are human then you are a feminist. Please don't approach if your idea about feminism is from insta reels and brain dead posts.

I'm an introvert, I love reading philosophy and literature. I was a huge bookworm before college. I really value deep discussions. I cannot imagine being with someone who is not emotionally and intellectually at the same level as me. I want someone who makes me think more and live and love more.

Other than these I don't have any other too specific preferences. I have not really travelled much, but of course like everyone I would enjoy visiting new places.. especially mountains. But I'm fine whether you enjoy traveling or not. I have a fear of pets since someone's pet dog bit me when I was 8, and I have also never had a pet..but I am open to having a pet if you want it.

Nothing much to talk about. I am not really a movie, TV show or series , or anime person. But I enjoy psychological thrillers and surprisingly comedy too if I'm with friends and cousins. I have watched aot (not in order) and A Promised Neverland (s1) because of my brother and l loved both of them. Watched monster halfway through because my friends said I would love it but I couldn't keep up with the slow pace, but I do want to rewatch it again someday.

Also I'm a very awkward person. Like painfully awkward, not joking.

Another thing is that for me looks don't matter at all, for me looks just means hygiene and self grooming. I have had friends trying to convince me that looks come first but I truly believe personality is everything.

I hope to find someone who will stand with me through hard times too, someone who will not be cruel during fights and arguments. There's a line a read somewhere that it's not you both against each other, it's you both against the problem. I wish we could argue just about the issue and not target each other. I really wish we could fight and end with a hug and apology instead of cruel words and silent treatment.

Being a childfree couple means to always have each other's backs because a lot of people are going to try and ruin their peace.

If you are around my age and have similar views then let's talk and see how it goes.

Just wanted to tell that I'm never the type of person to comment or post. But I'm doing this as a shot in the dark

I'm just 19 but since childhood I have questioned all the bullshit women are put through just so they can be controlled and ordered around by men.

Since a long time I have had changing views about hair removal. I feel so guilty for doing hair removal because at the end of the day no matter how much we excuse it has hygiene all cleanliness..its for the male gaze. This is a discussion most of us aren't ready for..not even me. Thats how deep rooted patriarchy and the demands of male gaze disguised as beauty are. Even now I avoid hair removal but then I feel insecure and don't go outisde without a full sleeve or a shrug over my tshirts.

What to do I..I feel so guilty.

On the other hand a part of me wants to reason that at the end of the day not everything can go according to us...wearing short sleeves and dresses without shaving will put us in the bad looks of the people around us...

I feel so disgusted by myself for wanting to do hair removal and feeling ashamed of my body hair because I absolutely hate the idea of serving the demands and unrealistic standards.

Please share your opinions. I have had this thought in my mind since years and it still makes me question my own values.

I'm just 19. But I have known my whole life that I don't want children. The very first thought I had about growing up and having my own kids made me feel disgusted. I just knew I cannot be a parent, ever. Growing up in a abusive family with cruel parents has made me feel hatred. I promised myself when I was a kid that I will never grow up to be like them. I struggled a lot with mental health and academic pressure and constant abuse by my parents. I'm a little better now because I have moved away for college bt they still find ways to ruin my peace. I'm scared I will never be able to find a man who is childfree in an arranged marriage setup. Love marriage is a big no in our family. On top of being childfree I want a man who knows me inside out, so there a no suorised later like my self harm scars and my disordered eating. I'm a very kind and intellectual person. If I am unbale to find someone kind and emotionally on the same level as me then I won't be able to love them even if I wanted to. And obviously I could never live with someone who has the same kind if anger as my dad. Thinking of all this makes me feel so scared. What if I'm forced to marry someone and they want children? I had rather kill myself than have children. I cannot live with myself if one day they looked at me with same eyes I look at my parents. Even though I believe I will be a good parent, being kind with my words and doing everything thoughtfully but there will be fights and arguments. And after living that throughout my childhood makes me desire only one thing, peace. I can't take anymore of this mental torture. Even in college I don't see one guy who is my type. Everyone just want to be cool and popular even if it means smoking and drinking and hittinf on two girls at a time. Where do I actually find someone like me? Online stuff is so scary...there are creeps everywhere. I know I might be too young for these fears. But I know for a fact that since the age of 13 I have been just one step away from ending my life. The only thing seeing me alive is my younger brother and my nani...who would cry...and I don't know why..but yeah they will be sad. And I have seen my mom become a hollow of a shell and turn into a cruel women from a helpless mother in front of my eyes whike growing up. I cannot let that happen to myself. I had rather die.

Hi, is anyone here from India? I have decided to pick diamond painting as a hobby. I was going through Amazon and well hell, except for 2-3 designs, the rest all are so painfully tacky..it hurts my eyes. I was thinking of starting it last year but all that bling-blang hurts my eyes and I thought I wouldn't like the end product but seeing great finished pieces on this community changed my mind. Please any suggestions? Anyone?

I have watched very less movies compared to other people and only 5 series in my whike life till now, and those 5 were all kdramas because my fired forced me to watch squid gam and then a few other dramas. I'm really not into movies and series and anime because I had always been a bookworm and read so so many books. But last year I joined med school and now it's hard reading those thick me books all day and going to read novels in free time. I have lost my habit and on the other hand it feel outs of touch too and I cannot force my self to read novels which I once used to love and have on my reading list. Now in my free time I have acquired a bad habit of doomscrolling. Recently I watched bacrooms and couldn't even watch it without multiple breaks and distractions. Thats how bad my attention span has gone. The problem I had with series was that I couldn't hold the sustenance binged each series. But now I think I should be committed to watching one series. I thought of anime but other than aot, moster and a promised Nederland..mone other interest me.

Please recommend some series to watch. And please nothing like romance or comedy, my favourite genre is psychological thriller and I love watching stuff with a lot of depth in it, and very emotional and tragic too. At the same time a part of me thinks of being smart here too and watching docuseries such as chernyboyl..and another part of me thinks of watching comedy because Recently my cousins watched comedy movies with me and I laughed a lot and enjoyed it too. What should I do?

My brother is an anime fan so I have watched almost the whole of aot here and there. The only season I have properly watched was season 2 because of kenny, other than that I have watched all main scenes, random ep and clips from yt and pieced it all together by my brother's storytelling. I can say confidently that I know 80 percent of aot like what's going on. I have even read a few Mangas becuse my brother bought them. Now I really really loved aot. Do I even need to explain? But here's the problem, I have watched very less movies and even less series, (I find it so hard to watch series). This is because I have always been a bookworm. But last year I entered med school and it's kind of tough to keep on reading novels and then those thick med books all day long. According to my preferences my friend forced me to watch monster, it's definitely my type But again I ended up binging like..watching 5 ep a day but then dropped it in between because it was too long. During vacation when I went back home my brother told me that I should try watching 'A promised neverland '. And that it is my type- and gosh! He was right. I loved it so much. I completed season 1 in a single day but didn't watch ahead because I saw the storyline of season 2 and lost interest. I know stories of a lot of animes because of my brother who is a yapper. Demon slayer, Naruto, jjk, death note, Tokyo ghoul, blue lock , haiku, some slime recarinated anime. I have rough idea of the stories. The only one which interested me a bit was death note and jjk.

I love stuff like a promised neverland and aot. My favorite genre in books and movies was psychological thriller and philosophy. But basically I want something with depth (which is not forced) and tragedy and deep meaning and I really am not a fan of romance or comedy but I won't mind it either if it's limited and natural.

Please please recommend me some good animes. I really want to get into something new which acts as a stress reliever and I also enjoy it.

I'm 18 and joined med school this year. When I was 14 I used to read a lot of novels and be in my own world but also being smart and emotionally intelligent. But for med school exam prep I was forced to stop reading when I was 16. Since then I haven't read any novel an know it's so hard to pick up a book without feeling guilty because of the vast syllabus and my favorite genre was fiction and psychological thrillers. Intried some self help books and some novels written by doctors but couldn't find myself that interested in them.

Now here comes the worst part...social media became my escape instead..just brainrot doomscrolling even though I hate myself with evry second of it.

What to do I? Are there any creative things I can replace it with? Because the hope for going back to reading seems very dim...

A few years back I struggled with my relationship with food due to my parents constantly targeting my weight to make me feel horrible despite me having a healthy weight.

Now I am trying to be more positive. But God, it hurts so much..having a childhood where I was made to feel disgusted by my own body.

Long ago under some post related to IF I saw a comment saying that it took them long to realise that they don't have a problem with not eating, but a problem with eating. I relate to that a lot. I did 16:8 IF for 2 weeks and 20:4 for one week but gave up due to failing few days . Now I am thinking of starting OMAD. One thing I am sure of is that I will drink black coffee to reduce risk of gall stones.

I have noticed I can delay my first meal a lot. And not making lunch as my omad meal will help since I can send that 1 hour in library. (I live in hostel).

Excerpt for dryfruits and easy to eat fruits like apple and oranges I cannot do much. Living alone in hostel I will have to rely on the mess food. I will try to eat more protein.

So I am thinking of making my omad meal as dinner around 7:30 which will include a bowl of salad, a bowl of fruits, some curd, and 1 bowl of vegetables, some dryfruits. Is this enough? Shoukd I add a glass of milk or soemthjng like protein powder? I remember trying omad for a few days last year with dinner as my omad meal, the only problem was that impatience as the clock is about to show 7:30 and even terrifying mental battle was the fear that how can a failure like me succeed..and that within a few days I will give up.

Thank you for reading

Hello, I am 19F, 53 kg, 160 cm

Today I am starting my weight loss journey with a positive note. I will keep my daily calorie intake limit to 1000 kcal and 1200 kcal for bad days.

Please feel free to drop in any advice related to self image and adapting to change. For me eating has always been induced by stress and emotions. A lot of times I have noticed my binging patterns after weeks of consistency- the reason being that I wasn't used to myself being well and positive.

Now I want to be positive and love myself no matter what. I will be patient and kind to myself. I promise.

Thank you.

My height is 5'3 and my weight is 51 kg as of now. I had a very horrible childhood and my parents always targeted my weight despite me being healthy (but they found a problem with that too because I wasn't super skinny like some of my cousins)

I have been tying to eat a less since months, and maybe that's why my weight eventually reduced by from 55 to 52 in months. I think my progress is lsow because of binging someday, especially sundays.

I have done IF, OMAD.

But the only benefit of fasting is calorie control right?

I try to eat around 500 kcal daily bit on days when it reaches 1000 kcal, I feel so guilty despite knowing it freaking normal. I feel so so terrible. I just want to look thin. So no can can call me healthy or fat even while joking. Now that I am in hostel, I want to show my parents I lost weight when I was away from them.

They always told me I cannot loose weight.

They always bullied me.

Then they used to forcefeed me whenever I ate a bit less or cut on junk food

I hate this. I see my friends eat normally and be the same body type as me.

Where is the loophole? Is it the binge days ruining everything? Or do I just need to be more patient.

Btw I am in med school so too long fasts do more harm than good because of the studies.

Please any advice will be helpful.

Last year I used to make myself throw up after a binge but since the beginning of this year I haven't once done that...I know I should be proud but it's hard.

Hi, I am 18F. Grew up in a very strict and toxic household so I was never allowed to go to gym before college. Now in college hostel I have decided to start going to gym.

My weight is 52 kg and height is 5'3, BMI is nornal, I do look healthy-fit. But I am skinny fat and I think I have a less toned body type as compared to other people my age.

I have had a bad relationship with food, restricting and starving, binging, purging...my parents have made me feel very insecure about my appearance and weight since childhood, objectively speaking I look normal, not ugly not beautiful.

I think the biggest problem is my face fat, I have chubby cheeks and it honestly makes me look heavier.

So I have been going to gym since 2 weeks, only doing treadmill and cycling for total of 20 minutes.

I have recently started intermittent fasting of 19:5 with daily calorie intake between 800-900.

In only 2 weeks my weight has reduced by 2-3 kg but it's probably water weight so I am not happy.

Today for the first time I tried machines, did chest press, shoulder press and lat something (so sorry about my lack of knowledge).

Can someone please just simply explain how should I manage with 6 days in gym for around 30-40 min daily, out of which 15 min is going to be treadmill.

Today I just did shoulder related stuff..what else is there, legs and stomach?? (Goshh I really want abs)

How should I do rotations of the machines and how and like what else should I know...

Please tell me, I will honestly be very grateful.

I know I could have asked someone from the gym but I am a loner type of person with alsmot no one to talk too and my awkward anxious behavior makes it even harder.

I am trying, I honestly am

How long will it take for me to look like a typical gym user and not an odd one out