u/No_Rub_5598

I’m on a journey to transform my sexual and romantic desires because I want to channel my energy into higher and more productive pursuits. I’ve realized that most of my triggers stem from a desire to form a connection or from watching romantic content and that this fuels my daydreaming.

For those of you who have been on this path for a long time: Is it possible to transmute these desires so that they no longer control you? What does your daily routine look like when a strong urge or romantic fantasy crosses your mind? I would be grateful for any advice on how to discipline my mind without suppressing it in an unhealthy way.

Writing a letter to Allah is just one example. I’d love to hear how you pray.

As a celibate, how do you navigate the longing for romance and emotional intimacy without just repressing it? I'd love to hear your personal experiences and coping strategies.

How do you navigate that journey? And how do you maintain your inner peace?

I’m 17 and interested in the 4B movement. I told the people around me that I don’t want to get married. They said I’m still too young and that my mind will change when I grow up. My opinions are constantly dismissed by using my age as an excuse. Why is wanting to put myself at the center by decentering men seen as wrong? If I had said that I wanted to get married and have three children when I grow up, no one would have called this just a phase. Why is there such a double standard?

I can never say I’m a lesbian. I’m Sunni, so I don’t want a relationship with a girl. But people still treat me badly. The fact that I’ll never be able to have a relationship with a girl doesn’t really upset me. What upsets me are people’s homophobic comments. Some people think I’m mentally ill. Or they say I’m making a mistake because I call myself a lesbian and don’t see it as a problem. Or they try to "fix" me. This upsets me, please stop treating me this way. I have only ever come out as a lesbian online. I know I don’t have to tell anyone this but I know they see me as mentally ill and I don’t want to be friends with them. Some people said I couldn’t live with a female roommate (because I might like her). Honestly, I don’t think being gay is a test for me. For me, the test is being Muslim in the face of all this exclusion.

I don’t think there’s just one way to be a girl. I’m a girl who is gender nonconforming and that’s not a problem for me,I haven’t had any issues with my gender because of it. My problem is not being able to connect with other girls. I’m graduating from high school soon and haven’t made any friends. (If this helps, I think I’m autistic and have alexithymia)

I just didn’t feel like a girl in women only spaces. I felt like someone who was actually a guy but was pretending to be a girl just to fit in. Since I wasn’t interested in being a boy, I saw myself as a demigirl for a short while.

I still struggle to feel like a girl. I know that being a girl is a biological reality and has nothing to do with feelings but that doesn’t help me. Do you have any advice for me?

I’ll start! I’m obsessed with stuffed animals and my favorite one is Bayfook. I also love marimos. I used to have eight little ones but I accidentally killed them :(. After that, my family wouldn't let me get any more. A few months ago, I had a flour beetle named Mizgins but I lost her by accident and couldn't find her. I hope you’re doing okay out there, Mizgins.

Sadly, I don’t really have any hobbies right now. That's mostly because I'm addicted to the internet and spending all my time studying for the university placement test. Inshallah, after the test I can overcome this addiction and find some hobbies.

When I grow up, I want to become a data scientist, live alone, and stay single.I'd love to live in a house with a yard (I currently live in an apartment). I want to have chickens in my yard and name them Mizgins (yep, I name literally everything Mizgins). Oh, and I also want a Doberman named Aras.

I’ve never had a girl friend before but I really hope to make some new friends soon and I mean just friends, not romantic partners. I’ve also never been to a sleepover but I’d love to have a girls night sleepover someday! Now it's your turn! I’d love to read your stories and future plans too!

I'm a Muslim with same-sex attraction. Due to my faith, I choose to remain celibate but my own community constantly labels me a 'slave to lust' or 'deviant.' How do you maintain your inner peace when you face this kind of judgement in your own church or within conservative Christian circles?

There are subreddits about women focusing on themselves and not putting men at the center of their lives but most of them are radical and non-religious. That’s why I wanted to ask this question in a space with Muslim women. Do you regret your decision? Did your family support you? How do you spend your time?"

I really want to feel Allah but I can’t. What should I do?

I found this community on my old account and it showed me platonic love can be just as powerful as romantic love. It made me think about why romantic love is so highly valued and helped me discover different perspectives. This community showed me that not everyone wants romantic love and a person can be perfectly happy with a friend. Thank you all for giving me these new perspectives <3

I struggle to feel emotions and that’s why I can’t feel Allah either. So I’m trying to find Allah through my mind rather than my heart and to do that, I’ll need to explore Islam. But the idea of exploring Islam overwhelms me. I don’t know whether the modernists or the traditionalists are right. I’m afraid of doing something wrong, what should I do?

I’m not talking about being trans, it’s more like being nonbinary.

I know that most of the opinions here are about heterosexual sex and some people think gay sex is also a form of misogyny. But I haven’t found much discussion about lesbianism ,why would a lesbian be anti-sex?

I’m a 17 year old girl and I grew up in a Muslim majority country with a family that is mostly culturally Muslim. As a kid, I was taught how to pray but we never really talked about loving Allah or the Prophet. Because of that I just don't feel a connection to Allah right now and I struggle to feel any love for the Prophet. My faith is shaking and I have a lot of doubts. I agree with some modernist views but I find some modernists to be way too extreme. I’ve also been excluded by Sunni communities .I was almost ready to leave the faith. Right now, my faith is weak.What do you recommend I do?"

I have a lot in common with neurodiverse people and radical feminists. But most of them are non-religious. That’s why they often criticize religion and I don’t want to be in a place where my religion is criticized. But I have so much in common with them and I also want to be there. I feel caught in the middle. I’m Sunni but the Sunni community has treated me badly and I don’t want to talk to Sunnis either. I don’t know what to do,do you know of anything that might help me?

For various reasons, I’ve been excluded by Muslims online (and I’m sure the Muslims around me would treat me even worse) and this exclusion has turned me off religion. I know that Muslims aren’t the same as the religion but I still feel this way. I want to wear a hijab but sometimes I want to dress like a butch. I’m not sure about wearing the hijab. Even if I were to stop wearing it later, should I wear it now? And honestly my views align with radical feminists on many points, the only reason I’m not a radical feminist advocating for political lesbianism is because I’m Muslim. But my faith is getting weaker and weaker. I don’t know what I should do, please help me.