u/OlaMishamigo

(I dont dm people because i have very bad memories surrounding specifically reddit dms, im also a minor)

I realized i went on a very long rant, I apologize

Im Bisexual, in case the genders get confusing (please dont be homophobic to me, every time I share this someone says something very mean)

Me and her were friends for my entire life and then got together after my ex bf assulted me (long story, if the context is needed i can try to explain),

first as an excuse to stop other people from asking me put and then it became real afterwards.

she constantly love bombed me and was mentally abusive but I stayed, on the way she got with my ex bf and was cheating on me with him, she didnt tell me who it was at the time but she held cheating on me over my head and every time I said no, or got too "bitchy" as she said it shed announce "guess who wouldnt say no to me" and then ghost me for a week or so.

soon I lost the ability to say no to her, especially when it came to intimacy.

she got me hooked on different substances and became the only way for me to get them (im off them now). soon she had my entire life, photos she manipulated me into sending her now were used as blackmail for me, the substances, and emotional blackmail almost drove me to end my life just to get out of the mess.

after two years of being together she broke things off after I became "to boring", she then announced that she had been with my ex bf for most of the time we were dating, now officially and publicly dating him.

about two months later she came to me saying he assulted her like he did to me, I remember being so angry I told her that im not her shoulder to cry on anymore and I now have a partner, I shoved her away, she switched schools.

I still dont know if shes alive anymore.

I know i should have been there for her but it was in the moment and I regretted it immediately after, I just want someone to see from my side or at least understand why I did what I did

This happened in freshman year, its been a while since then but the guilt is still so heavy

(I dont dm people because i have very bad memories surrounding specifically reddit dms, im also a minor)

I realized i went on a very long rant, I apologize

Im Bisexual, in case the genders get confusing (please dont be homophobic to me, every time I share this someone says something very mean)

Me and her were friends for my entire life and then got together after my ex bf assulted me (long story, if the context is needed i can try to explain),

first as an excuse to stop other people from asking me put and then it became real afterwards.

she constantly love bombed me and was mentally abusive but I stayed, on the way she got with my ex bf and was cheating on me with him, she didnt tell me who it was at the time but she held cheating on me over my head and every time I said no, or got too "bitchy" as she said it shed announce "guess who wouldnt say no to me" and then ghost me for a week or so.

soon I lost the ability to say no to her, especially when it came to intimacy.

she got me hooked on different substances and became the only way for me to get them (im off them now). soon she had my entire life, photos she manipulated me into sending her now were used as blackmail for me, the substances, and emotional blackmail almost drove me to end my life just to get out of the mess.

after two years of being together she broke things off after I became "to boring", she then announced that she had been with my ex bf for most of the time we were dating, now officially and publicly dating him.

about two months later she came to me saying he assulted her like he did to me, I remember being so angry I told her that im not her shoulder to cry on anymore and I now have a partner, I shoved her away, she switched schools.

I still dont know if shes alive anymore.

I know i should have been there for her but it was in the moment and I regretted it immediately after, I just want someone to see from my side or at least understand why I did what I did

This happened in freshman year, its been a while since then but the guilt is still so heavy

I want a movie that is like fightclub, but less well known (less spoilers going around) and have a plot twist like it in some fashion

Also harder to figure out because fightclub took me like 20 minutes before it all clicked

(Please dont spoil anything! Thank you!)