u/PaddedValls

Teenage son is not coping well with recent restrictions on gaming time.

Just want him to fill his time with other activities and take to gaming later in the day.

So yesterday (Saturday) when I told him that WiFi was restricted until 5pm, he told me he hated me and went to his mother's house.

First time experience for me.

It's a bolt right to the heart but I know it's heat of the moment type stuff.

Like, it's great seeing the bromance come together again, but after that when it just goes on the other characters face one by one and they're all smiling at each other...

Maaaaaaaaan.

Anyway, bring on the coalition of communities.

When I was around 13, I told this girl I fancied that I was wanted by the police for being a general hard man.

Made up stories about carrying weapons etc.

Couldn't have been further from the truth.

Grew up in a rough area, sure, and she was a posh girl but I was never in a spot of trouble my whole life.

I still see that girl sometimes.

We can chat, but it's always in the back of my head that I was a wanted 13 year old.

Wife and I have some major plans for our house.

We were discussing this, over a few drinks, while on a city break with my in-laws.

They are very well off and insanely generous people to their family. Have never been tight with the money they have.

Anyway, my mother in law said that we should never take money from the bank, and just tob ask them for the loan and save paying insane interest.

But, we're talking tens of thousands of pounds.

Now, even if they did happily give us that, I'd only feel comfortable with it if we had something written up that says it's my wifes money and I have no entitlement to it.

I mean, I love my wife and there are no feelings of separation, but I'm a realist and shit does happen. I'd much rather that headache was avoided with a signed document of some kind.

I can't. I truly can't.

I love him with every fibre of my being, but his lack of common sense and critical thinking has become too much.

He cannot do anything for himself unless prompted and told exactly what to do step by step.

This isn't why he can't do anything. He hasn't been babied all his life. I have always taken the approach of 'try, fail, try again'. Shown something once and then that's it.

This kid though. He can't do ANYTHING.

He has just left school, with little to no grades because he fucked around all 4 years of secondary school and has managed to scrape into a college course because there are no prerequisites.

He has no job. Doesn't apply for jobs. Sits around on his PC gaming all day because we are both working and can't keep an eye on him.

He does nothing. NOTHING. Contributes in no way.

I still have to check if he's ate ffs, and 9 times out of 10, he hasn't and it's now approaching dinner time. Eats like a 6 year old who's been let loose. Leave him money to get food (incase he doesn't want the vast amount that's in the fridge) and he goes and buys a f**kin tube of Pringles for breakfast/lunch. Can't even leave him responsibility to f**ing eat properly.

I give him chores to do and he either leaves them until last minute or gives some bullshit excuse on why he couldn't do it in the first place.

Dodges any and all kinds of work.

I still have to think for him at this age and it's Exhausting.

He is nowhere near ready for the big bad world, no matter how hard I try to prepare him for it.

For example, should you set aside 20% of your standard monthly wage etc?

I am looking to take out a personal loan for a car and pay it off within 4 years. If that amount is more than what is recommended then I will not buy it.

Let's say you wish to buy something that's £6k.

If I had saved for years and had the money to buy something outright, then I don't think her opinion would sway me.

If it required me to take out a loan then I would listen to her reasons then we'd come to a mutual decision.

Wouldn't be fair on her if I lost my job but there was this debt to deal with.

Swallow Roundabout is a strong contender but Fairfield Rd/Arbroath Rd junction for anyone turning right is a disaster.

It's usually quicker turning left and finding a better junction to turn in.

I grew up near a dual carriageway. My friends and I, instead of taking the slightly longer but MUCH safer route, would just run across 4 lanes of high speed traffic.

Now, as a man in his late 30s, I see local schoolkids doing the exact same thing and every time I think they're idiots.

I mean, we were idiots too, but I survived.

Obviously I don't want to kill the little guys, but this patch of ground is a pain in the arse to maintain.

I just want to make that particular bit low/zero maintenance, and it turns out it houses environmentally critical beings.

For our wedding, at each table we had 2 Polaroid cameras for everyone to take photos on (we had a professional photographer too, but these were for more personal photos between our guests) and there was a clear glass dropbox for everyone to drop them in and we'd have that dropbox on display in our house.

Unbeknownst to us, my sister-in-law let her daughter (6 years old) go round every table at the very start of the night using up all the photos on each camera.

Now we only have around 10 we can actually keep, and over 100 of just random shit that are not worth keeping at all.

I'm all for keeping kids occupied at something they can easily get bored at, but not at the expense of that though.

I present myself as a 1, but in all honesty I'm about 6.

I don't care about acting daft, or the likes, around strangers etc

But I don't like the idea of anyone thinking I'm dirty, or I don't work hard or that I'm a bad parent etc.

I have friends who present a spotless life on social media but in reality they are constantly anxious about their life. Therefore, they do it on social media because of what they want people to think of them.

Let's say you're out with your mate for a pint. They run into someone they know and they are introduced as "[Name] but he gets called [Nickname]".

Do you start using the nickname straight away if your friend is?

Do you get a few pints in then give it a go?

Do you not touch that shit because it's for friends?

Do you require permission?

It's an overthinkers minefield for sure.

She says her social media is now littered with videos about how bad peptides are and that we don't actually know what we're putting into our bodies.

Now, I am a bit more lax with these matters, so I'm happy to keep at it.

I get all the well documented side effects, so the ship stays the course.

She is a bit more hesitant than me and that's fine. Just seems like there's more being released trying to stop people taking peps.

I work in close proximity to a guy who has strong ADHD.

It is infuriating working near him because he talks non stop, butts into every conversation and fills the gaps in what he's saying with the same phrase over and over again, not letting anyone speak, until he has thought of his next point.

He is fidgeting constantly, smashing the buttons on his keyboard, spitting the food he eats everywhere. Crumbs all over his desk.

Like, there is a part of it he has to take ownership of, but he does have the most severe form of ADHD I've ever seen.

But even if he didn't have ADHD, I think he's quite an annoying guy by default.

One of those guys who has a story, regardless of the topic being talked about, because he's done it before but more wacky or intense.

If I was a business owner, I'd enforce a way to measure 8hrs of work done and if someone had contributed 8hrs worth of work with...say 4hrs or whatever...they could head home.

Understandably, there comes issues with being reachable within working hours, but this is ideal scenario stuff.

Or something like, and this is off the top of my head, split everyone into teams of 4 and everyone works 30 minutes extra Monday - Thursday and there's a rota of 1 person getting a Friday off.

Does my maths work out there?