u/PinkFlurffyUnicorns

Hii I’m T from the US. I’m a bit paranoid about info on Reddit so imma keep it unidentifiable. I’m looking for someone who I relate to I guess, and that’s pretty much it. I’m low maintenance massive fucking nerd, down to talk about whatever. The kind of person I’m looking for would also be the kind of person who isn’t too caught up in how they’re perceived. Not in a “they never have social anxiety” way, more like a “they’re not constantly making life decisions and lifestyle choices based off of what gets them or takes away social points.” Also I prefer direct people, passive aggressive hoops I have to navigate every time I misstep are so stressful and not my communication style at all, and that goes both ways.

Friendship or flirtation it doesn’t really matter to me, I just wanna get to know you, but I don’t have the highest expectations from Reddit so whatever the vibe is it’s chill. Someone who talks about their interests and let’s me talk about my interests is awesome, I love learning about people, but I can’t be doing all the work it gets exhausting, I think perhaps the thing that makes me connect with people right away is when I sense that they’re as invested in the conversation as I am. I would consider myself masc in the sense that when I come out to people no one is ever surprised lol. My online texting style looks kind of like this post, you know I’m invested when you get the long disorganized paragraphs.

I’m in my second semester of college, majoring in computer science, uuuh I kinda lost my train of thought at this point, so yeah looking for someone around my age, nerdy, direct, isn’t expecting me to carry the whole conversation by myself, isn’t gonna take things too seriously, oh yeah I’m left leaning and prefer left leaning people, but I don’t really like to get into current events. Last thing, I don’t really subscribe to MBTI, but I do think it’s kind of helpful for gauging, you know, whether someone is an introvert etc, so I’m INTP if that means anything to you. So yeah if you end up reaching out introduce yourself or build off of something I said in this post or something, I don’t really know how to respond to “hey”.

I’m most nervous about with this post is that I end up talking to a 40 year old man for months or something. I don’t really know how to prevent that except the disclaimer that if you are a 40 year old man and I find out, I don’t care how great our conversation was, I’m blocking you.

I feel like I’m being gaslit, he has a top tier quick sense of humor that everyone else consistently ignores. It’s crazy, it feels like they aren’t even aware he does this because on the rare occasion they do catch it they’re always surprised, but like, he does this multiple times pretty much every video he’s in.

Uuugh. So I've(18f) developed a strong personality(at home at least) due to having to verbally spar with pretty much everyone in my life to obtain any sort of respect or rights unrelated to feminism, and I've also blocked out pretty much all of my childhood. Because of my personality and my over the top feminism phase back in the day I've basically verbally beaten the sexism out of my parents, they wouldn't even dare around me lest they trigger an hour long rant about how sexist religious society and my family is.

Back in the day there was this inherent expectation that I should be contributing to the household in ways my brothers didn't have to, and I should be more mature and eager to please, and i should dress as modestly as possible so my brothers don't get uncomfortable, and I shouldn't sing in the company of men, and I should always act polite and helpful and sociable and feminine in public so that I have a good reputation and snag a good husband, and I should be more interested in fashion and cooking and gossip and beauty and whatever, and my talents and achievements don't matter nearly as much as my ability to make myself useful. At some point I got exhausted, I was so fed up with my parents blatantly unequal treatment and automatic expectations for me that were considered praiseworthy and worthy of reward when my brothers did it. It was probably around that time that I got real performative with the feminism.

So anyway fast forward to today they're not like that anymore. Family dynamics started changing a whole lot once I gained self awareness and internet access. It's harder to publicly humiliate your son for entertainment when your daughter is sitting there analyzing everything you say and categorizing it as normal parenting or dysfunctional behavior. Anyway back on topic I just feel disgusted right now because I was reminded that my dad is a misogynist. Ew. I was talking about how I'm not gonna be doing the cooking as an adult, and my dad was all like "why not?" And I was like "because I don't like cooking, duh" And my dad was like "but you can learn to like it, it's an important skill for you to have" this would be a normal thing to say if he knew how to cook, or ever pressured my older brother to learn to cook, neither of those things are true, and it just annoyed me. I know it's not that big a deal, but I think some part of my brain has been trained to feel like everything my parents do is a big deal.

Does anyone else notice this? I mostly listen to more comedic podcasts so maybe this a comedy thing. Like everyone can start off on equal footing, but the women will often get interrupted or jokingly roasted to the point of it being excessive or get left out of the conversation, and sometimes it builds up so it's unnoticeable at first, but it becomes more and more noticeable as the podcast goes on. And sometimes I try to justify it that it's not because she's a woman, it's because of her personality, but then it happens with other women on the same podcast. It's happened on at least 3 separate podcasts I've listened to, it's not an absolute rule, but it's enough of a pattern that I've come to expect it, and find it annoying.