u/Possible-Nature-5325

I’m posting because I’m going in circles in my head and I think I need some outside perspectives from people who understand UK HR/employment processes.

I’m (24M) and this is my first professional job. I’ve been with my company for a couple of years, have generally had good performance (recently winning an award), and this job is extremely important to me as I’m in the UK on a Skilled Worker visa, so losing my employment would have significant consequences for me beyond simply losing my income.

I was unexpectedly contacted by Employee Relations today and put into an impromptu meeting regarding an incident that happened around end of April at a non-work-related social event, with colleagues from work.

The allegation is that I kissed a colleague from another team without consent. I have been told that I inserted my tongue during the kiss, and that this happened in front of his girlfriend.

I genuinely don’t remember doing this. I was intoxicated that night and blacked out. I remember drinking, but I don’t remember the incident itself. I am not saying that means it didn’t happen or that being drunk excuses it. If I did it, I understand that it was completely inappropriate and that the other person’s consent matters regardless of how intoxicated I was.

ER told me that they are currently fact-finding and will be speaking to people who were present. My VP has also been made aware. I was told I could go home after the meeting if I wanted to.

I’m absolutely terrified about what this means. I’ve never had a disciplinary or PIP issue before, and my mind immediately went to “I’m going to be fired.” So I’ve been spiraling out of control over the last 4 hours.

There are several things I’m particularly worried about:

**1. What are the realistic possible outcomes?**

I understand that nobody on Reddit can tell me what my employer will decide. I’m specifically interested in how UK employers generally approach something like this. Does an allegation of an unwanted kiss automatically make dismissal likely, or are there circumstances where warnings/training/other sanctions are more common?

**2. What should I do during the investigation?**

I want to cooperate and be truthful, but I’m worried about accidentally saying something that makes things worse. In the initial ER meeting, I answered their questions honestly and explained what I remember and what I don’t remember. Should I now simply keep going as normal and wait for the process?

**3. Should I speak to an employment solicitor?**

Someone suggested speaking to ACAS and potentially getting legal advice. Is that sensible at this stage, or should I wait until I’m told whether this is becoming a formal disciplinary process?

**4. What happens with references if I am dismissed?**

Would a dismissal for misconduct normally be disclosed to future employers, or can an employer simply provide dates of employment/job title? Is there some kind of UK-wide record or “flag” for this sort of thing that follows you to future jobs?

**5. Should I start looking for another job now?**

Because I’m on a Skilled Worker visa, losing my job is much more serious for me than simply finding another employer. I’m considering quietly updating my CV and looking at sponsored roles as a contingency, but I don’t know whether doing that now is sensible.

**6. Can I resign while an investigation is ongoing?**

I’m absolutely not saying I’m planning to resign. I’m trying to understand my options. If someone resigns while under investigation, can the employer continue the disciplinary process, and does resigning make references or future employment more complicated?

I realise this is serious and I’m not looking for people to tell me that being drunk makes it okay. It doesn’t. I’m trying to understand what happens from here and how I should protect myself professionally while taking responsibility for what happened.

I’m also aware that Reddit isn’t a substitute for legal advice, particularly regarding immigration. I’m mainly looking for perspectives from people with UK HR/employment experience about what I should realistically expect and what mistakes I should avoid making while the investigation is ongoing.

I would appreciate any help with this. Thank you.

I’m posting because I’m going in circles in my head and I think I need some outside perspectives from people who understand UK HR/employment processes.

I’m (24M) and this is my first professional job. I’ve been with my company for a couple of years, have generally had good performance (recently winning an award), and this job is extremely important to me as I’m in the UK on a Skilled Worker visa, so losing my employment would have significant consequences for me beyond simply losing my income.

I was unexpectedly contacted by Employee Relations today and put into an impromptu meeting regarding an incident that happened around end of April at a non-work-related social event, with colleagues from work.

The allegation is that I kissed a colleague from another team without consent. I have been told that I inserted my tongue during the kiss, and that this happened in front of his girlfriend.

I genuinely don’t remember doing this. I was intoxicated that night and blacked out. I remember drinking, but I don’t remember the incident itself. I am not saying that means it didn’t happen or that being drunk excuses it. If I did it, I understand that it was completely inappropriate and that the other person’s consent matters regardless of how intoxicated I was.

ER told me that they are currently fact-finding and will be speaking to people who were present. My VP has also been made aware. I was told I could go home after the meeting if I wanted to.

I’m absolutely terrified about what this means. I’ve never had a disciplinary or PIP issue before, and my mind immediately went to “I’m going to be fired.” So I’ve been spiraling out of control over the last 4 hours.

There are several things I’m particularly worried about:

**1. What are the realistic possible outcomes?**

I understand that nobody on Reddit can tell me what my employer will decide. I’m specifically interested in how UK employers generally approach something like this. Does an allegation of an unwanted kiss automatically make dismissal likely, or are there circumstances where warnings/training/other sanctions are more common?

**2. What should I do during the investigation?**

I want to cooperate and be truthful, but I’m worried about accidentally saying something that makes things worse. In the initial ER meeting, I answered their questions honestly and explained what I remember and what I don’t remember. Should I now simply keep going as normal and wait for the process?

**3. Should I speak to an employment solicitor?**

Someone suggested speaking to ACAS and potentially getting legal advice. Is that sensible at this stage, or should I wait until I’m told whether this is becoming a formal disciplinary process?

**4. What happens with references if I am dismissed?**

Would a dismissal for misconduct normally be disclosed to future employers, or can an employer simply provide dates of employment/job title? Is there some kind of UK-wide record or “flag” for this sort of thing that follows you to future jobs?

**5. Should I start looking for another job now?**

Because I’m on a Skilled Worker visa, losing my job is much more serious for me than simply finding another employer. I’m considering quietly updating my CV and looking at sponsored roles as a contingency, but I don’t know whether doing that now is sensible.

**6. Can I resign while an investigation is ongoing?**

I’m absolutely not saying I’m planning to resign. I’m trying to understand my options. If someone resigns while under investigation, can the employer continue the disciplinary process, and does resigning make references or future employment more complicated?

I realise this is serious and I’m not looking for people to tell me that being drunk makes it okay. It doesn’t. I’m trying to understand what happens from here and how I should protect myself professionally while taking responsibility for what happened.

I’m also aware that Reddit isn’t a substitute for legal advice, particularly regarding immigration. I’m mainly looking for perspectives from people with UK HR/employment experience about what I should realistically expect and what mistakes I should avoid making while the investigation is ongoing.

I would appreciate any help with this. Thank you.

I’m posting because I’m going in circles in my head and I think I need some outside perspectives from people who understand UK HR/employment processes.

I’m (24M) and this is my first professional job. I’ve been with my company for a couple of years, have generally had good performance (recently winning an award), and this job is extremely important to me as I’m in the UK on a Skilled Worker visa, so losing my employment would have significant consequences for me beyond simply losing my income.

I was unexpectedly contacted by Employee Relations today and put into an impromptu meeting regarding an incident that happened around end of April at a non-work-related social event, with colleagues from work.

The allegation is that I kissed a colleague from another team without consent. I have been told that I inserted my tongue during the kiss, and that this happened in front of his girlfriend.

I genuinely don’t remember doing this. I was intoxicated that night and blacked out. I remember drinking, but I don’t remember the incident itself. I am not saying that means it didn’t happen or that being drunk excuses it. If I did it, I understand that it was completely inappropriate and that the other person’s consent matters regardless of how intoxicated I was.

ER told me that they are currently fact-finding and will be speaking to people who were present. My VP has also been made aware. I was told I could go home after the meeting if I wanted to.

I’m absolutely terrified about what this means. I’ve never had a disciplinary or PIP issue before, and my mind immediately went to “I’m going to be fired.” So I’ve been spiraling out of control over the last 4 hours.

There are several things I’m particularly worried about:

**1. What are the realistic possible outcomes?**

I understand that nobody on Reddit can tell me what my employer will decide. I’m specifically interested in how UK employers generally approach something like this. Does an allegation of an unwanted kiss automatically make dismissal likely, or are there circumstances where warnings/training/other sanctions are more common?

**2. What should I do during the investigation?**

I want to cooperate and be truthful, but I’m worried about accidentally saying something that makes things worse. In the initial ER meeting, I answered their questions honestly and explained what I remember and what I don’t remember. Should I now simply keep going as normal and wait for the process?

**3. Should I speak to an employment solicitor?**

Someone suggested speaking to ACAS and potentially getting legal advice. Is that sensible at this stage, or should I wait until I’m told whether this is becoming a formal disciplinary process?

**4. What happens with references if I am dismissed?**

Would a dismissal for misconduct normally be disclosed to future employers, or can an employer simply provide dates of employment/job title? Is there some kind of UK-wide record or “flag” for this sort of thing that follows you to future jobs?

**5. Should I start looking for another job now?**

Because I’m on a Skilled Worker visa, losing my job is much more serious for me than simply finding another employer. I’m considering quietly updating my CV and looking at sponsored roles as a contingency, but I don’t know whether doing that now is sensible.

**6. Can I resign while an investigation is ongoing?**

I’m absolutely not saying I’m planning to resign. I’m trying to understand my options. If someone resigns while under investigation, can the employer continue the disciplinary process, and does resigning make references or future employment more complicated?

I realise this is serious and I’m not looking for people to tell me that being drunk makes it okay. It doesn’t. I’m trying to understand what happens from here and how I should protect myself professionally while taking responsibility for what happened.

I’m also aware that Reddit isn’t a substitute for legal advice, particularly regarding immigration. I’m mainly looking for perspectives from people with UK HR/employment experience about what I should realistically expect and what mistakes I should avoid making while the investigation is ongoing.

I would appreciate any help with this. Thank you.

I’m posting because I’m going in circles in my head and I think I need some outside perspectives from people who understand UK HR/employment processes.

I’m (24M) and this is my first professional job. I’ve been with my company for a couple of years, have generally had good performance (recently winning an award), and this job is extremely important to me as I’m in the UK on a Skilled Worker visa, so losing my employment would have significant consequences for me beyond simply losing my income.

I was unexpectedly contacted by Employee Relations today and put into an impromptu meeting regarding an incident that happened around end of April at a non-work-related social event, with colleagues from work.

The allegation is that I kissed a colleague from another team without consent. I have been told that I inserted my tongue during the kiss, and that this happened in front of his girlfriend.

I genuinely don’t remember doing this. I was intoxicated that night and blacked out. I remember drinking, but I don’t remember the incident itself. I am not saying that means it didn’t happen or that being drunk excuses it. If I did it, I understand that it was completely inappropriate and that the other person’s consent matters regardless of how intoxicated I was.

ER told me that they are currently fact-finding and will be speaking to people who were present. My VP has also been made aware. I was told I could go home after the meeting if I wanted to.

I’m absolutely terrified about what this means. I’ve never had a disciplinary or PIP issue before, and my mind immediately went to “I’m going to be fired.” So I’ve been spiraling out of control over the last 4 hours.

There are several things I’m particularly worried about:

1. What are the realistic possible outcomes?

I understand that nobody on Reddit can tell me what my employer will decide. I’m specifically interested in how UK employers generally approach something like this. Does an allegation of an unwanted kiss automatically make dismissal likely, or are there circumstances where warnings/training/other sanctions are more common?

2. What should I do during the investigation?

I want to cooperate and be truthful, but I’m worried about accidentally saying something that makes things worse. In the initial ER meeting, I answered their questions honestly and explained what I remember and what I don’t remember. Should I now simply keep going as normal and wait for the process?

3. Should I speak to an employment solicitor?

Someone suggested speaking to ACAS and potentially getting legal advice. Is that sensible at this stage, or should I wait until I’m told whether this is becoming a formal disciplinary process?

4. What happens with references if I am dismissed?

Would a dismissal for misconduct normally be disclosed to future employers, or can an employer simply provide dates of employment/job title? Is there some kind of UK-wide record or “flag” for this sort of thing that follows you to future jobs?

5. Should I start looking for another job now?

Because I’m on a Skilled Worker visa, losing my job is much more serious for me than simply finding another employer. I’m considering quietly updating my CV and looking at sponsored roles as a contingency, but I don’t know whether doing that now is sensible.

6. Can I resign while an investigation is ongoing?

I’m absolutely not saying I’m planning to resign. I’m trying to understand my options. If someone resigns while under investigation, can the employer continue the disciplinary process, and does resigning make references or future employment more complicated?

I realise this is serious and I’m not looking for people to tell me that being drunk makes it okay. It doesn’t. I’m trying to understand what happens from here and how I should protect myself professionally while taking responsibility for what happened.

I’m also aware that Reddit isn’t a substitute for legal advice, particularly regarding immigration. I’m mainly looking for perspectives from people with UK HR/employment experience about what I should realistically expect and what mistakes I should avoid making while the investigation is ongoing.

I would appreciate any help with this. Thank you.

I keep seeing everyone’s success and progression but I toook my first shot nearly a week ago and I don’t feel like I’ve changed my routine much when it comes to diet, sleep or anything else, it doesn’t help that there’s a heatwave where I’m at so I don’t have energy to do anything, but for all those who have had success after being in an unhealthy routine, how long did it take yall for your routine to change into a healthier one?

Did you have the motivation from the get go or was it a gradual increase? Is it a me problem?

Like it would make so much more fucking sense to be able to use our own servants and the best set up we can use but noooo I have to have fucking Hakuno PLUS another servant in the front line, like fuck off what is the fucking point of rolling for all these servants just to be forced to use the NPCs for the final fights.

FUCK FORCED SUPPORTS AND NPCs

I finally got my prescription over mail. I am nervous and excited do it (I’m scared of needles) but I felt like I was prepping for a pet when I was at the super market, buying stuff that I usually wouldn’t because I’ll be on it, like psyllium husk and probiotics, idk it felt funny felt like I was prepping to get a new cat or something.

If anyone has any advice for needle anxiety I’d appreciate it!

I’m not talking telekinesis or gun shoot outs, I want to know what are some of the best like energy/magic/beam fights in anime, a lot of people would think Dragon Ball but the beam struggles are more Enders whilst the rest of the battle is close combat.

I want to see Omni directional attacks, huge beams, beam struggles, self-redirecting and homing attacks, just a non-stop back and forth onslaught of long range attacks between two people!

I basically want inspiration for something I’m working on but I’m really struggling to imagine a fight between two people just having a full beam battle, the closest I can think of is maybe Frieren vs Clone Frieren or Fern vs Lugner. Could you please recommend more?

Thank you!

I am moving flats soon, and one of my non negociables is that the flat must have AC, bell I’m writing this at 1:33am because the room I’m renting can’t open the window further because of rust and I’m boiling alive, I refuse to keep living like this after having AC in civilized countries like the US, Panama and China.

What areas and flats in London have AC in them so I can apply for a flat in them? None of the search functionalities seem to be able to even search for flats with AC so they’re useless as well.

I would appreciate any suggestions to help me escape this hell. Thank you.

I’m 24M, Last week my company had a London city rally where we ran all around central London completing tasks and challenges, after an hour of running my team ended up coming victorious out of 8, I also got to win it with my number 1 office crush so I was on top of the world, after the event we went to this bar and we had all you can drink Asahi and wine, I drank like 7-8 beers and last thing I remember was doing a tequila shot, I then come to late at night trying to get an Uber back home after losing my wallet and bag.

I thankfully found both after picking them up from the bar we were at and everything was fine since my friend who was there till the end told me I wasn’t messy.

Until today, where someone from the Swedish team told me that I had made someone from her team uncomfortable because I close to him and told him he was hot, which he is not used to because I’m a guy. Then she told me that I was playing around with the French team and their pecs, which I don’t remember at all.

Now I feel like absolute shit because I made him uncomfortable and I don’t remember any of this and who else what could’ve happened, hell, I don’t even remember how I got to the part of London that I took an uber from.

What do I do?

One of the best parts of battling different trainers is having different battle themes, and this game has some bangers like Jacinthe, Corbeau, and L.

Ever since I was a kid I’ve been looking for what my Pokémon battle theme would be if I were to be challenged to a Pokémon battle with my full team of 6 Pokémon.

My theme would be: “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) - "Eurythmics" Cover by Sebastian Böhm.”

I’ve always been a fan of 80s synth and so when I listened to this epic style cover my mind instantly went to my Pokémon battle theme.

So sound off in the comments! What’s your battle theme?

I’m dealing with some really intense hangxiety right now and could use some perspective from people who have been through this.

I went to a coworker’s housewarming/BBQ and ended up drinking way more than I should have. Most people were just chatting and having soft drinks, but I was the one drinking beer after beer. I also used ❄️ that night, which I regret, and I’ve been feeling awful since.

The hardest part is that I have memory gaps. I know I was still with people around 10:40pm because I sent a voice note, but I was already slurring. After that, I have a lot of uncertainty about what happened before I got home when I took an uber at 11:45pm.

Now my brain is filling in the blanks with the worst possible scenarios. I left my bag at the host’s house, and I also realised a personal item I was wearing is missing. I don’t know if I lost it there, if it fell off somewhere, or what happened. My anxiety is making me assume the worst.

The host is someone I consider a friend. This isn’t the first time I’ve gotten too drunk at an event of his, in the past he has had to talk to me about my drinking and I apologised. I did change afterwards, and this is the first blackout at one of his events this year, but I’m terrified that this time I crossed a line and that he won’t want to be friends anymore.

When I spoke to him about work afterwards, he seemed colder than usual and didn’t mention the party like he normally does, which sent my anxiety through the roof.

I know the obvious answer is that I need to seriously rethink my drinking (and I am considering going sober), but right now I’m stuck in the panic loop of:

“What if I did something embarrassing?”
“What if everyone is talking about me?”
“What if people stop inviting me places?”

Has anyone experienced this level of hangxiety after a blackout? Did your brain convince you you had destroyed your relationships and everyone hates you now?

I am really struggling with life lately because I work a corporate 9-6 job Monday to Friday, and my hobbies entails playing video games, watching movies, tv shows, YouTube, and reading, but then I have friends who have literally 0 at home hobbies and basically only use their flat to cook, laundry, clean and sleep, so because they don’t have stuff they want to do at home they’re always out socializing, working out, traveling, or training.

These people have literally 0 interest in doing anything at home so I always feel bad because they’re so fit and sociable which I also want to be but I enjoy my hobbies so much that even if I work out or socialize I’ll want to go home and do my hobbies to actually relax and I’ll end up going to sleep late which messes with my day and week.

I don’t know what to do, I’m so jealous of these people who have 0 inside hobbies because it drives them to do all the stuff I don’t consider relaxing, enjoyable or calming. And when I socialize I mostly always need to do it over a drink so make it less effort.

So, how do I deal with only having inside hobbies despite wanting to do other stuff, and struggling to maintain a healthy sleeping schedule because even if I try to do an outdoors one, I’ll end up wanting to do the inside one at the end of the day.

Last weekend it was two of my friend’s last days plus a old co worker’s first time visiting after getting fired, they invited everyone and for the first time this year I blacked out, I usually always control my drinking on work drinks but the circumstances meant I ended up overdrinking.

One of my best friends told me that I was flirting too hard with a straight guy who is not very well liked because he’s low key an incel but that it was still too much flirting.

She still loves me so she said that I need to learn boundaries and maybe apologize to him, I feel like absolute shit because I don’t usually drink that much, it was just because it was such a combination of things that I ended up overdrinking.

I still feel like a piece of shit.