u/Queeenhx14

My ex randomly stopped paying for one of our daughters sports.

It's not in the order that he has to pay but we both agreed to pay half.

Can I adjust the support order to add this? Or take him for more?

I mean, I know I can TRY but would they do that?

My lifelong best friends wedding is this weekend. I'm the MOH, and we've been best friends for over 20 years.

I recently got a medical diagnosis after having frequent seizures. I also have severe anxiety and this diagnosis has been incredibly hard for me to deal with.

I already have the plane tickets, the hotel is booked, I have my dress, I paid for hair and makeup.

The reality is hitting me hard right now. I got partial medical clearance (still waiting for some tests) from my doctors to fly/travel but that isn't helping the incredible anxiety I'm having. I have another doctor's appointment tomorrow to run extra tests for precaution and then another one friday morning before I head to the airport to get the final clearance.

I was talking to my husband last night about this. I wish I had this diagnosis before accepting the MOH position and I wish I knew how bad my health was declining. I don't want to back out but I'm starting to think I might have too.

The problem is - yes, she's my best friend. But she is already so incredibly anxious about the wedding, she's already been pushing my anxiety away and dismissing my fears. I have a very strong feeling this could be the end of a 20 year friendship if I back out 5 days before the wedding.

I just need advice I guess. Has anyone ever backed out? How did you save your friendship? How did they react?

Answers to some questions you might have -

I was diagnosed about 6 weeks after she asked me.

She knows about my diagnosis.

The plane ride is about 4 hours.

My anxiety can actually make the seizures worse.

She keeps saying "ask your doctor for extra meds, you'll be okay!"

Getting CP to respond is extremely difficult.

Whats a reasonable amount of time you would wait, to message again?

How are my fellow contamination OCD peeps doing?

I know life can be scary.

I know the news can be scary.

I want you to know that you're not alone.

We will get through this!​

Regardless of political opinion, who are we supposed to trust when it comes to the news?

It seems that every news article includes opinions rather than facts, or biased statements.

How am I supposed to stay "updated and informed" when all I'm reading are people's opinions and what they "think" to be true or false.

I want facts.

I’m guessing it discontinued or I’m going to have to wait.

is there something currently available that smells similar? thanks!

*if you don’t have anything nice to say, please don’t comment. I’m really emotional right now and I just need help.

We brought home a 5 month old dog from the shelter. Honestly, this is probably the sweetest dog I have ever met. She‘s doing so well with potty training, she sleeps all night in her crate, she barely barks. I can tell she is pretty shy though but hasn’t really displayed intense anxiety until recently.

My daughter is on the spectrum (we suspect, and her OT suspects high functioning with severe sensory issues.)

*I want to preface that I have done EVERYTHING I can to prepare myself and my daughter for bringing a dog home. We read books, I told her stories, we met the dog 3 times before bringing it home, i did plenty of research on how to do the introduction and how to go about the first few days. I even had a long conversation with my daughter about how we do and don’t treat a dog*

*I also want to mention that I have severe OCD, GAD, and I wanted to get a dog that we could train to help us feel safe, secure, and overall just.. happier I guess.

When we brought this dog home, my daughter had a very hard time with it. She didn’t want to be around it, she was terrified of it, she would scream and cry, run away, and cover her ears. This morning she was showing some interest, she started standing close to the puppy, throwing her toys at her, bringing her bone, etc. Well this afternoon, 2 major things happened that caused panic for all 3 of us. My daughter got spooked by the dog, the dog got spooked by my daughter and I got spooked by both of them. I was trying to put the dog in her crate and I guess my daughter panicked and wanted me to pick her up. The pup didn’t like that.. at all. She growled at me (she was basically like, um wtf is going on!) This caused my daughter to panic even more and the dog basically retreated anxiously into the crate. (I was AS CALM as I could’ve been given the situation)

Now, the puppy has diarrhea, she’s being super standoffish, she jumped at my daughter and gave her a fat lip (this was the second event that caused panic in both of them)

My husband gets home tonight and we’re having a long talk about what to do. I know the right decision is to take this dog back. I do not want to traumatize either one of them. I don’t want this dog to get anxiety around kids because of my daughter, and I don’t want my daughter to never want to be around dogs. And I do not want my OCD to regress as well.

I did plan for this. I had safety plans in check, I had multiple visits with my therapist about this. I do genuinely believe I was ready for this.

*no, my house isn’t big enough to separate them completely

*no, I don’t have anyone else to take the dog for a while.

*yes, I’ve done everything I can to make this work. I called a behaviorist and she said “I suggest putting your daughter in therapy.” and I hung up on her. (she’s in OT LOL)

Here’s the thing. My daughter talks about this dog constantly. She loves her… from afar. I don‘t want her to just *have to coexist* with this dog. I want both of them to feel safe and I don’t think either one of them do anymore.

My question is - how do I explain to her that we’re going to take the dog back to where we got her? I know this will break her heart and she doesn’t fully comprehend why we need to do this. And no, I don’t think I’m taking the easy way out and yes I believe kids are resilient and I know this is a puppy, but I’m also a little bit worried about my mental health now, and constantly being on edge. Yes I have puppy blues also. Idk. Just please try not to judge me.

If you’ve read this far, I really appreciate it.

This is going to be a long and vulnerable post, so bear with me.

Yes, I know. Bringing home a dog can be overwhelming especially in the first couple of days. I prepared myself. For months. For years, even. It’s been 10 years since Ive had my own dog, 10 years of wanting a dog so badly it hurt. This morning we went to the shelter after seeing this dog three times. All three times, she exceeded our expectations. She’s a 4 month old hound/lab/pit (not quite sure lol) she is SO SWEET.

She met my daughter twice. (4 year old daughter) My daughter loved this dog. She was obviously a little standoffish because it’s a new experience for her. She has been around dogs before, and loves seeing them from afar. My mom brought her dog over last year (daughter was 3) and my daughter didn't go near the dog. She cried, she kept saying “out of my house!” To the dog. We separated them and since then, she’s seen the same dog. We go camping with this dog, and my daughter does “okay” with it, as long as he isn’t right near her.
Well today - we decide to get the dog from the shelter. The car ride went fine as long as the puppy(4months) wasn’t right in her face. Again - fine from afar. Once we get home, everything changed. My daughter screamed, covered her ears, hid, didn’t eat ALL day, cried, would NOT let me put her down. The puppy stayed on a leash in one room. We got a crate, we got everything. We went outside, showed my daughter that the puppy was super nice, we even tried to convince her to throw the ball, didn’t want too. We went back and fourth for about 8 hours. Every. Single. Time. We came back inside, she screamed. Cried. Hid in her room crying, begging me to “put the doggy outside.”

I knew this would be an adjustment. I do NOT want to give up this dog. I want to keep trying. It’s only night one so I’m giving us all some grace. But I’m laying in bed, bawling right now, terrified that I’m going to traumatize them both. Praying that I didn’t make the wrong decision. I’ve done everything the puppy books said, gave them both a safe space, letting my daughter hide if she wants, letting the puppy have a place away from my daughter. I’m just so overwhelmed. I’m not overwhelmed with the dog. I’m overwhelmed with my daughter screaming in my ear for 8 hours straight today. I have claw marks on my shoulder from her digging into me, terrified.
Did I make the wrong decision? If you have read this far, thank you.
Please be gentle with me.

This is going to be a long and vulnerable post, so bear with me.

Yes, I know. Bringing home a dog can be overwhelming especially in the first couple of days. I prepared myself. For months. For years, even. It’s been 10 years since Ive had my own dog, 10 years of wanting a dog so badly it hurt. This morning we went to the shelter after seeing this dog three times. All three times, she exceeded our expectations. She’s a 4 month old hound/lab/pit (not quite sure lol) she is SO SWEET.

She met my daughter twice. (4 year old daughter) My daughter loved this dog. She was obviously a little standoffish because it’s a new experience for her. She has been around dogs before, and loves seeing them from afar. My mom brought her dog over last year (daughter was 3) and my daughter didn't go near the dog. She cried, she kept saying “out of my house!” To the dog. We separated them and since then, she’s seen the same dog. We go camping with this dog, and my daughter does “okay” with it, as long as he isn’t right near her.
Well today - we decide to get the dog from the shelter. The car ride went fine as long as the puppy(4months) wasn’t right in her face. Again - fine from afar. Once we get home, everything changed. My daughter screamed, covered her ears, hid, didn’t eat ALL day, cried, would NOT let me put her down. The puppy stayed on a leash in one room. We got a crate, we got everything. We went outside, showed my daughter that the puppy was super nice, we even tried to convince her to throw the ball, didn’t want too. We went back and fourth for about 8 hours. Every. Single. Time. We came back inside, she screamed. Cried. Hid in her room crying, begging me to “put the doggy outside.”

I knew this would be an adjustment. I do NOT want to give up this dog. I want to keep trying. It’s only night one so I’m giving us all some grace. But I’m laying in bed, bawling right now, terrified that I’m going to traumatize them both. Praying that I didn’t make the wrong decision. I’ve done everything the puppy books said, gave them both a safe space, letting my daughter hide if she wants, letting the puppy have a place away from my daughter. I’m just so overwhelmed. I’m not overwhelmed with the dog. I’m overwhelmed with my daughter screaming in my ear for 8 hours straight today. I have claw marks on my shoulder from her digging into me, terrified.
Did I make the wrong decision? If you have read this far, thank you.
Please be gentle with me.

This is going to be a long and vulnerable post, so bear with me.

Yes, I know. Bringing home a dog can be overwhelming especially in the first couple of days. I prepared myself. For months. For years, even. It’s been 10 years since Ive had my own dog, 10 years of wanting a dog so badly it hurt. This morning we went to the shelter after seeing this dog three times. All three times, she exceeded our expectations. She’s a 4 month old hound/lab/pit (not quite sure lol) she is SO SWEET.

She met my daughter twice. (4 year old daughter) My daughter loved this dog. She was obviously a little standoffish because it’s a new experience for her. She has been around dogs before, and loves seeing them from afar. My mom brought her dog over last year (daughter was 3) and my daughter didn't go near the dog. She cried, she kept saying “out of my house!” To the dog. We separated them and since then, she’s seen the same dog. We go camping with this dog, and my daughter does “okay” with it, as long as he isn’t right near her.
Well today - we decide to get the dog from the shelter. The car ride went fine as long as the puppy(4months) wasn’t right in her face. Again - fine from afar. Once we get home, everything changed. My daughter screamed, covered her ears, hid, didn’t eat ALL day, cried, would NOT let me put her down. The puppy stayed on a leash in one room. We got a crate, we got everything. We went outside, showed my daughter that the puppy was super nice, we even tried to convince her to throw the ball, didn’t want too. We went back and fourth for about 8 hours. Every. Single. Time. We came back inside, she screamed. Cried. Hid in her room crying, begging me to “put the doggy outside.”

I knew this would be an adjustment. I do NOT want to give up this dog. I want to keep trying. It’s only night one so I’m giving us all some grace. But I’m laying in bed, bawling right now, terrified that I’m going to traumatize them both. Praying that I didn’t make the wrong decision. I’ve done everything the puppy books said, gave them both a safe space, letting my daughter hide if she wants, letting the puppy have a place away from my daughter. I’m just so overwhelmed. I’m not overwhelmed with the dog. I’m overwhelmed with my daughter screaming in my ear for 8 hours straight today. I have claw marks on my shoulder from her digging into me, terrified.
Did I make the wrong decision? If you have read this far, thank you.
Please be gentle with me.

I went and saw a puppy at the shelter this morning. she was so sweet. very very good dog. what are the odds she’s putting on a show? please don’t come for me, but I’m worried about bringing her home and she’s a completely different dog.

its comical how frustrating this process is.

“yes, we have everything we need!”

2 months later -

“sorry, we need more information and more records.”

SERIOUSLY!?

I was diagnosed about a year ago. Honestly, other than a couple big episodes, I’d say my POTS has been pretty stable.

Today I was folding laundry and felt a bit off. It started with a warm sensation in my belly, and then my heart rate went to 146bpm. i grabbed some tums, liquid IV, and laid down. My heart rate kept fluctuating between 76bpm-110bpm just while laying down. I did a virtual visit with a doctor and she said to go get seen. I do plan on calling the cardiologist to get another EKG just to make sure everything is okay. I got an echo done a few months ago and it was actually really good.

anyways - has anyone literally felt near death with your POTS? Also, this brain fog is wild right now. I feel like my head is a balloon floating in the wind and I have to squint to see lol. Symptoms are leaving though.

why have a child if you’re just going to emotionally abuse them?

HCBM can eat a fat one.

that’s it. that’s the post.