u/Real_ThunderStriker

Growing up, I was the big, heavy kid. Head shaped like an oval potato, severe skin tans, stubborn hyperpigmentation, and relentless acne. Back then, I didn’t care all that much. I just lived with it.

By the time I hit 19, I was diagnosed with serious hepatic diseases, including liver cirrhosis. It was bad, a genuine rock-bottom wake-up call that forced me to look at my life and realize I was actively steering toward a dead end. So, I changed everything.

I hit the gym, dialed in my nutrition, and dropped from 120 kg to 88 kg in just 5 months. I started taking care of myself, building a real skincare routine, fixing my hair, putting actual effort into how I presented to the world.

In the beginning, when I first started lifting, I’d look around the gym at guys who were effortlessly aesthetic and attractive as hell, instagram models type, feeling a heavy wave of insecurity. I remember thinking, Why couldn't God have made me look like that?

Fast forward to now, those exact same guys are the ones staring at me, looking a little insecure themselves. Crazy.

I realized how full of shit the world is when people repeat the comforting lie that "looks don’t matter, personality is everything."

Let’s be real: attractiveness and looking put-together play a massive role in how the world treats you. Believe or not, experiencing of the both spectrum, it does. People are noticeably kinder. Random strangers come up to ask for directions with a smile. Girls actually hold eye contact and stare. A woman older than me flirted with me (I'm an asshole, didn't knew the signs lol)

Looks might not define who you are on the inside, but taking control of your physical health and appearance changes how the world permits you to exist in it. And going from the invisible guy to the one turning heads? It’s a wild trip.

After seeing IOS 27 optimizing their entire kernel that makes everything more faster, efficient, using less power. The beta 1 was insane, even iphone 11 will get the update. I was wondering will Samsung ever pull close to iPhone levels of optimization in one ui 9. I know Android has its fragmentation issues but Samsung makes its own skin, they have their own displays, custom made chips specifically for them, own cameras, has lot of app developer optimize for their phones. They couldn't add a transition frame between lens switching between cameras, I have used my Dad's Oppo reno 15, and that midranger that smoother lens transitions than my s24 ultra, it's pretty disappointing. Idk what Samsung has been doing with One UI, it feels mess after a mess. Share your thoughts about this.

After seeing IOS 27 optimizing their entire kernel that makes everything more faster, efficient, using less power. The beta 1 was insane, even iphone 11 will get the update. I was wondering will Samsung ever pull close to iPhone levels of optimization in one ui 9. I know Android has its fragmentation issues but Samsung makes its own skin, they have their own displays, custom made chips specifically for them, own cameras, has lot of app developer optimize for their phones. They couldn't add a transition frame between lens switching between cameras, I have used my Dad's Oppo reno 15, and that midranger that smoother lens transitions than my s24 ultra, it's pretty disappointing. Idk what Samsung has been doing with One UI, it feels mess after a mess. Share your thoughts about this.

After seeing IOS 27 optimizing their entire kernel that makes everything more faster, efficient, using less power. The beta 1 was insane, even iphone 11 will get the update. I was wondering will Samsung ever pull close to iPhone levels of optimization in one ui 9. I know Android has its fragmentation issues but Samsung makes its own skin, they have their own displays, custom made chips specifically for them, own cameras, has lot of app developer optimize for their phones. They couldn’t add a transition frame between lens switching between cameras, I have used my Dad's Oppo reno 15, and that midranger that smoother lens transitions than my s24 ultra, it's pretty disappointing. Idk what Samsung has been doing with One UI, it feels mess after a mess. Share your thoughts about this.

I genuinely don't know how to interpret this, so I figured I'd ask Reddit before I overthink it into oblivion.

I'm 20 and taking a Japanese language course, and there's a woman in my class who's around 24 or 25. We've been in the same class for quite a while. The weird part is that even though we've seen each other regularly, we basically never talked.

Not in a "we talked once and became acquaintances" kind of way either. I mean genuinely nothing. We'd be in the same classroom, sharing glances, sitting around the same people, doing the same lessons, and we'd just go about our own business. I usually sit about two seats across from her, so we're not exactly next to each other, but we've been aware of each other for weeks.

I knew who she was, obviously, but there was never really a reason for either of us to start a conversation. I'm also not the most talkative person in class. If someone talks to me, I'll respond, but I'm not usually the guy who walks up to someone and starts a conversation. I ain't a good conversation starter.

I stopped going for around two months due to reasons.

Eventually, I came back to class.

The class schedule had changed while I was gone, so the other two classmates had been moved to a different schedule. When I came back after those two months, I honestly wasn't expecting much.

The classroom was basically empty. She was there, but the teacher was absent that day. Her assistant was supposed to come later.

So we're just sitting there in class, and she suddenly starts talking to me.

She asked me how far I'd gotten in the lesson. I figured she probably just wanted to know where I was in the course, so I answered.

Then she started asking where I was from. Then about my background. Then whether I was going to continue with the language program.

At this point I'm thinking, "Wait, how did this conversation turn into an interview about me?"

And here's where I realized I apparently have absolutely zero conversational instincts.

She kept asking me questions, and I just answered them. She'd ask something, I'd answer. Another one, I'd answer.

I didn't even think to ask her anything back. I wasn't trying to be rude. I just have this straightforwardness where if someone asks me something, I'll answer it literally and move on.

So I'm sitting there giving her all this information about myself while contributing absolutely nothing to the conversation.

Then she asked my age.

I told her I'm 20.

She seemed genuinely surprised.

That part stuck with me because she apparently had some completely different idea of how old I was. It seemed like she had assumed I was around university age. I guess I look a bit older than I actually am.

I was literally about to ask her why she wanted to know my age, but the assistant came into the class.

So I didn't get to ask. I just kept it to myself.

The class eventually ended, and I had a conversation with the teacher. She sat on the same couch as me while I was talking to the teacher.

She seemed to wait around for a while, but the teacher had a lot to talk to me about, so the conversation kept going. Eventually she left.

I didn't think much of it at the time.

Today she approached me again.

She started by asking how I came there. I said I came by metro.

Then she asked for my number.

This time the way she asked was weird enough that I genuinely didn't know what was happening. She was kind of mumbling when she asked. I just stared at her because I wasn't really sure what she'd said.

She was blinking pretty quickly, then looked down for a moment, looked back up, and eventually brought up WhatsApp.

That really threw me off.

She explained that she wanted it so she could write my number down in Japanese, which I thought was kind of funny but completely plausible.

I gave her my number, and she wrote it down.

Then, after she'd finished, she said she'd call me on WhatsApp because it would be better and that we could study together.

That's where I went, 'Wait, what?' Because she didn't just ask for my number and leave it at that. She specifically suggested having a way to communicate outside class and studying together.

The funniest part is that I never asked for her number.

She asked for mine.

I wasn't flirting with her. I wasn't trying to get her attention. I didn't approach her. I didn't even really ask her any questions during the first conversation.

And now I'm sitting here wondering whether I'm completely oblivious to something or whether this is just a perfectly normal thing that people do when they want a study partner.

There are a bunch of explanations, and honestly, I have no idea.

The age question is probably what makes me wonder about it the most. If she really thought I was around university age and then found out I'm actually 20, her surprise makes a lot more sense.

And now I'm wondering, did I actually miss the shot by saying my age?

I mean, I didn't exactly thought much. She asked, and I answered honestly. But the way she reacted made me wonder whether she was expecting a different answer and whether hearing "20" changed whatever assumption she'd made about me.

The annoying part is that I never got to find out.

I was literally about to ask her why she wanted to know my age before the assistant came in. Then today I thought I'd finally have another chance, but the teacher was in class, she left about two minutes early, and I didn't even see her before she left.

So once again, no answer.

At the same time, I don't want to be that guy who has one woman ask for his number and immediately decides she's secretly in love with him. So I'm trying to keep myself grounded.

Maybe she just wants a study partner. Maybe she thought I seemed interesting. Maybe she was simply being friendly. Maybe there was a little bit of attraction.

I guess I'll find out based on what happens after this.

So if nothing else, this has made me realize that I should probably learn how to actually have a conversation.

For now, though, I'm curious what other people think.

If someone in your class hadn't really spoken to you for weeks, disappeared for around two months, then suddenly came back, approached you first, asked about your background and age, seemed surprised when you said you were 20, then two days later asked how you got to class, asked for your number, and suggested communicating on WhatsApp so you could study together, would you interpret that as normal friendliness or as a possible sign that they were interested in getting to know you?

**TL;DR:** I'm 20 and had barely spoken to a woman from my Japanese class (around 24/25) despite seeing her for weeks. I disappeared for about two months, came back, and she suddenly started asking me about my background, plans, and age, seeming surprised when I said I was 20. I was about to ask why she wanted to know when the assistant interrupted. Two days later, she approached me again, asked how I got to class, then awkwardly asked for my number, brought up WhatsApp, and suggested we study together. I can't tell if she's just being friendly or if there's something more going on.

I genuinely don't know how to interpret this, so I figured I'd ask Reddit before I overthink it into oblivion.

I'm 20 and taking a Japanese language course, and there's a woman in my class who's around 24 or 25. We've been in the same class for quite a while. The weird part is that even though we've seen each other regularly, we basically never talked.

Not in a "we talked once and became acquaintances" kind of way either. I mean genuinely nothing. We'd be in the same classroom, sharing glances, sitting around the same people, doing the same lessons, and we'd just go about our own business. I usually sit about two seats across from her, so we're not exactly next to each other, but we've been aware of each other for weeks.

I knew who she was, obviously, but there was never really a reason for either of us to start a conversation. I'm also not the most talkative person in class. If someone talks to me, I'll respond, but I'm not usually the guy who walks up to someone and starts a conversation. I ain't a good conversation starter.

I stopped going for around two months due to reasons.

Eventually, I came back to class.

The class schedule had changed while I was gone, so the other two classmates had been moved to a different schedule. When I came back after those two months, I honestly wasn't expecting much.

The classroom was basically empty. She was there, but the teacher was absent that day. Her assistant was supposed to come later.

So we're just sitting there in class, and she suddenly starts talking to me.

She asked me how far I'd gotten in the lesson. I figured she probably just wanted to know where I was in the course, so I answered.

Then she started asking where I was from. Then about my background. Then whether I was going to continue with the language program.

At this point I'm thinking, "Wait, how did this conversation turn into an interview about me?"

And here's where I realized I apparently have absolutely zero conversational instincts.

She kept asking me questions, and I just answered them. She'd ask something, I'd answer. Another one, I'd answer.

I didn't even think to ask her anything back. I wasn't trying to be rude. I just have this straightforwardness where if someone asks me something, I'll answer it literally and move on.

So I'm sitting there giving her all this information about myself while contributing absolutely nothing to the conversation.

Then she asked my age.

I told her I'm 20.

She seemed genuinely surprised.

That part stuck with me because she apparently had some completely different idea of how old I was. It seemed like she had assumed I was around university age. I guess I look a bit older than I actually am.

I was literally about to ask her why she wanted to know my age, but the assistant came into the class.

So I didn't get to ask. I just kept it to myself.

The class eventually ended, and I had a conversation with the teacher. She sat on the same couch as me while I was talking to the teacher.

She seemed to wait around for a while, but the teacher had a lot to talk to me about, so the conversation kept going. Eventually she left.

I didn't think much of it at the time.

Today she approached me again.

She started by asking how I came there. I said I came by metro.

Then she asked for my number.

This time the way she asked was weird enough that I genuinely didn't know what was happening. She was kind of mumbling when she asked. I just stared at her because I wasn't really sure what she'd said.

She was blinking pretty quickly, then looked down for a moment, looked back up, and eventually brought up WhatsApp.

That really threw me off.

She explained that she wanted it so she could write my number down in Japanese, which I thought was kind of funny but completely plausible.

I gave her my number, and she wrote it down.

Then, after she'd finished, she said she'd call me on WhatsApp because it would be better and that we could study together.

That's where I went, 'Wait, what?' Because she didn't just ask for my number and leave it at that. She specifically suggested having a way to communicate outside class and studying together.

The funniest part is that I never asked for her number.

She asked for mine.

I wasn't flirting with her. I wasn't trying to get her attention. I didn't approach her. I didn't even really ask her any questions during the first conversation.

And now I'm sitting here wondering whether I'm completely oblivious to something or whether this is just a perfectly normal thing that people do when they want a study partner.

There are a bunch of explanations, and honestly, I have no idea.

The age question is probably what makes me wonder about it the most. If she really thought I was around university age and then found out I'm actually 20, her surprise makes a lot more sense.

And now I'm wondering, did I actually miss the shot by saying my age?

I mean, I didn't exactly thought much. She asked, and I answered honestly. But the way she reacted made me wonder whether she was expecting a different answer and whether hearing "20" changed whatever assumption she'd made about me.

The annoying part is that I never got to find out.

I was literally about to ask her why she wanted to know my age before the assistant came in. Then today I thought I'd finally have another chance, but the teacher was in class, she left about two minutes early, and I didn't even see her before she left.

So once again, no answer.

At the same time, I don't want to be that guy who has one woman ask for his number and immediately decides she's secretly in love with him. So I'm trying to keep myself grounded.

Maybe she just wants a study partner. Maybe she thought I seemed interesting. Maybe she was simply being friendly. Maybe there was a little bit of attraction.

I guess I'll find out based on what happens after this.

So if nothing else, this has made me realize that I should probably learn how to actually have a conversation.

For now, though, I'm curious what other people think.

If someone in your class hadn't really spoken to you for weeks, disappeared for around two months, then suddenly came back, approached you first, asked about your background and age, seemed surprised when you said you were 20, then two days later asked how you got to class, asked for your number, and suggested communicating on WhatsApp so you could study together, would you interpret that as normal friendliness or as a possible sign that they were interested in getting to know you?

**TL;DR:** I'm 20 and had barely spoken to a woman from my Japanese class (around 24/25) despite seeing her for weeks. I disappeared for about two months, came back, and she suddenly started asking me about my background, plans, and age, seeming surprised when I said I was 20. I was about to ask why she wanted to know when the assistant interrupted. Two days later, she approached me again, asked how I got to class, then awkwardly asked for my number, brought up WhatsApp, and suggested we study together. I can't tell if she's just being friendly or if there's something more going on.

I genuinely don't know how to interpret this, so I figured I'd ask Reddit before I overthink it into oblivion.

I'm 20 and taking a Japanese language course, and there's a woman in my class who's around 24 or 25. We've been in the same class for quite a while. The weird part is that even though we've seen each other regularly, we basically never talked.

Not in a "we talked once and became acquaintances" kind of way either. I mean genuinely nothing. We'd be in the same classroom, sharing glances, sitting around the same people, doing the same lessons, and we'd just go about our own business. I usually sit about two seats across from her, so we're not exactly next to each other, but we've been aware of each other for weeks.

I knew who she was, obviously, but there was never really a reason for either of us to start a conversation. I'm also not the most talkative person in class. If someone talks to me, I'll respond, but I'm not usually the guy who walks up to someone and starts a conversation. I ain't a good conversation starter.

I stopped going for around two months due to reasons.

Eventually, I came back to class.

The class schedule had changed while I was gone, so the other two classmates had been moved to a different schedule. When I came back after those two months, I honestly wasn't expecting much.

The classroom was basically empty. She was there, but the teacher was absent that day. Her assistant was supposed to come later.

So we're just sitting there in class, and she suddenly starts talking to me.

She asked me how far I'd gotten in the lesson. I figured she probably just wanted to know where I was in the course, so I answered.

Then she started asking where I was from. Then about my background. Then whether I was going to continue with the language program.

At this point I'm thinking, "Wait, how did this conversation turn into an interview about me?"

And here's where I realized I apparently have absolutely zero conversational instincts.

She kept asking me questions, and I just answered them. She'd ask something, I'd answer. Another one, I'd answer.

I didn't even think to ask her anything back. I wasn't trying to be rude. I just have this straightforwardness where if someone asks me something, I'll answer it literally and move on.

So I'm sitting there giving her all this information about myself while contributing absolutely nothing to the conversation.

Then she asked my age.

I told her I'm 20.

She seemed genuinely surprised.

That part stuck with me because she apparently had some completely different idea of how old I was. It seemed like she had assumed I was around university age. I guess I look a bit older than I actually am.

I was literally about to ask her why she wanted to know my age, but the assistant came into the class.

So I didn't get to ask. I just kept it to myself.

The class eventually ended, and I had a conversation with the teacher. She sat on the same couch as me while I was talking to the teacher.

She seemed to wait around for a while, but the teacher had a lot to talk to me about, so the conversation kept going. Eventually she left.

I didn't think much of it at the time.

Today she approached me again.

She started by asking how I came there. I said I came by metro.

Then she asked for my number.

This time the way she asked was weird enough that I genuinely didn't know what was happening. She was kind of mumbling when she asked. I just stared at her because I wasn't really sure what she'd said.

She was blinking pretty quickly, then looked down for a moment, looked back up, and eventually brought up WhatsApp.

That really threw me off.

She explained that she wanted it so she could write my number down in Japanese, which I thought was kind of funny but completely plausible.

I gave her my number, and she wrote it down.

Then, after she'd finished, she said she'd call me on WhatsApp because it would be better and that we could study together.

That's where I went, 'Wait, what?' Because she didn't just ask for my number and leave it at that. She specifically suggested having a way to communicate outside class and studying together.

The funniest part is that I never asked for her number.

She asked for mine.

I wasn't flirting with her. I wasn't trying to get her attention. I didn't approach her. I didn't even really ask her any questions during the first conversation.

And now I'm sitting here wondering whether I'm completely oblivious to something or whether this is just a perfectly normal thing that people do when they want a study partner.

There are a bunch of explanations, and honestly, I have no idea.

The age question is probably what makes me wonder about it the most. If she really thought I was around university age and then found out I'm actually 20, her surprise makes a lot more sense.

And now I'm wondering, did I actually miss the shot by saying my age?

I mean, I didn't exactly thought much. She asked, and I answered honestly. But the way she reacted made me wonder whether she was expecting a different answer and whether hearing "20" changed whatever assumption she'd made about me.

The annoying part is that I never got to find out.

I was literally about to ask her why she wanted to know my age before the assistant came in. Then today I thought I'd finally have another chance, but the teacher was in class, she left about two minutes early, and I didn't even see her before she left.

So once again, no answer.

At the same time, I don't want to be that guy who has one woman ask for his number and immediately decides she's secretly in love with him. So I'm trying to keep myself grounded.

Maybe she just wants a study partner. Maybe she thought I seemed interesting. Maybe she was simply being friendly. Maybe there was a little bit of attraction.

I guess I'll find out based on what happens after this.

So if nothing else, this has made me realize that I should probably learn how to actually have a conversation.

For now, though, I'm curious what other people think.

If someone in your class hadn't really spoken to you for weeks, disappeared for around two months, then suddenly came back, approached you first, asked about your background and age, seemed surprised when you said you were 20, then two days later asked how you got to class, asked for your number, and suggested communicating on WhatsApp so you could study together, would you interpret that as normal friendliness or as a possible sign that they were interested in getting to know you?

TL;DR: I'm 20 and had barely spoken to a woman from my Japanese class (around 24/25) despite seeing her for weeks. I disappeared for about two months, came back, and she suddenly started asking me about my background, plans, and age, seeming surprised when I said I was 20. I was about to ask why she wanted to know when the assistant interrupted. Two days later, she approached me again, asked how I got to class, then awkwardly asked for my number, brought up WhatsApp, and suggested we study together. I can't tell if she's just being friendly or if there's something more going on.

Those who are in careers they genuinely like, I’d really appreciate your advice, what helped you choose your path?

A bit about me:

I took Accounting, Physics, Chemistry, and Maths in A Levels.

I genuinely enjoy Maths, it’s something I can sit with for hours. Physics also feels very intuitive and satisfying to learn. Chemistry is interesting too, but it’s quite memorization-heavy. Ironically, it’s the subject I scored highest in.

I also find finance and accounting concepts interesting in theory, but when it comes to the practical side: journals, ledgers, tables, it feels extremely draining.

Academically, I’ve performed well in Maths, Biology, Chemistry, and Physics. I was especially strong in Biology, Chemistry during school and even have some practical knowledge exposure. My cousins, who are established doctors, have encouraged me to pursue it.

I do like the idea of being a doctor. But I like being an engineer too.

At this point, I’m genuinely confused about which direction to choose.

Would really appreciate hearing how others figured this out.

I genuinely don’t know whether I should save this friendship or slowly let it go.

We’ve been friends for around 5 years. Not normal friends either. We were the type people used to call brothers, soulmates, twins.

The funny thing is we used to accidentally match all the time without planning it.

One time before an exam, both of us separately bought brown shoes from retail stores. We met on exam day wearing the exact same shoes. Another time I wore a bright orange shirt and he showed up in the same shade of orange. It happened so often people genuinely started asking if we coordinated our outfits beforehand.

We didn’t.

We just somehow moved alike.

We were obsessed with each other’s company in that close-friend kind of way. We talked constantly during O Levels. Same humor, same energy, same weirdness. I liked his innocence, his carefree personality, his stupid unhinged jokes, and the fact that whenever I needed someone, he’d usually be there somehow.

I also want to say this honestly before making him sound like the villain: I don’t consider myself a perfect or even necessarily a “good” friend all the time. I know I have flaws. I can become emotionally distant, overly silent, and bad at expressing hurt directly. But I genuinely try to become a better friend whenever I realize I’m wrong. I reflect a lot on myself.

Maybe part of why friendship means so much to me is because I’ve been unfortunate with friendships before. I’ve had friends who only stayed around when it benefited them, people who used me when convenient and disappeared afterward. Some just wanted the ride, not the person.

So for me, friendship became something sacred.

To me friendship means:

someone you can vent to without feeling judged,

someone who advises you honestly,

someone who celebrates your wins genuinely,

someone who sits beside you in your lows,

someone you can be fully free around,

someone who loves and respects you.

And despite everything, one thing I cannot deny is that he still respects me deeply, admires me, and loves me like a brother.

Honestly, I probably know him better than almost anyone else does.

I’ve helped him even during inconvenient moments in my own life because convenience never meant much to me when it came to friendship. One time he needed accounting notes urgently which I didn’t even have myself. I still went out of my way asking around different people just to arrange them for him because that’s just how I viewed friendship.

That’s why all of this hurts so much.

One thing about him is he almost never accepts when he’s wrong. He listens, but rarely admits fault directly. It frustrated me a lot because I was always the “adviser” friend. I used to tell him what he needed to hear instead of what he wanted to hear.

Another thing that used to bother me was how much he showed off achievements online. I used to advise him not to post everything because I genuinely believe people can’t ruin what they don’t know about. I always preferred protecting good things quietly instead of displaying them publicly.

But he never listened.

Maybe that sounds small, but it reflects our dynamic a lot. I was always trying to protect him in my own way while he often brushed things aside until life itself taught him later.

At one point a girl confessed to him. He fell for her immediately. I could see all the red flags from miles away. I spent months trying to explain things to him, hours of conversations, warnings, advice, everything. Meanwhile his other friends just told him whatever made him feel good.

Eventually I got tired.

Then one day during a random conversation with friends, he suddenly called me jealous of him.

I genuinely think that sentence broke something inside me.

Because I loved this guy like a brother. I wanted the best for him even when he annoyed me. Hearing “you’re jealous of me” from him felt horrible.

To be fair to him, he later apologized multiple times and admitted he said it out of anger. I forgave him. At least consciously I did.

But emotionally, I think part of me still clung to that broken feeling afterward.

After that I slowly became distant. Not out of hatred, but because I genuinely couldn’t control my feelings anymore. I became quieter around him. Short replies. Less eye contact. Less warmth.

The thing is… he noticed immediately.

He kept trying to reconnect while I kept emotionally pulling away.

Eventually we barely talked properly for almost 2 years.

Then one day he came back and admitted I was right about the girl all along. She cheated on him.

Ironically around that same time, I was working as a teacher’s assistant and got assigned to tutor him academically.

Despite everything, I put my feelings aside and taught him properly.

Watching him go from a D student to getting an A honestly made me proud. Not just as a teacher, but as a friend.

But after that I distanced myself again.

That’s when he finally exploded emotionally.

He sent me huge paragraphs saying he noticed me changing for months. He said I treated other friends warmly but became cold specifically toward him. He said he felt ignored, unwanted, and confused because I never directly told him what was wrong.

And honestly? Reading those messages hurt because I realized he was suffering too.

What makes this even harder is that I know he genuinely cares about me.

When I became seriously ill and got hospitalized, I didn’t tell anyone. My mother informed him. He came to visit me, took my medical reports himself, even consulted different doctors using his own money trying to help me.

Recently I needed a file from school. He insisted on going with me even though he was busy. He told me:

“Don’t worry mate, I can do it for you.”

Yesterday when I got there, he suddenly hugged me from behind jokingly.

And instead of smiling like I normally would, I just walked away silently toward the work.

I regret that so much.

Later I sent him old pictures of us together from previous years. Coincidentally many were taken on the exact same dates years apart without us realizing.

He replied:

“Time and tide wait for none. Seems like as if we were yesterday.”

And honestly I almost broke emotionally reading that.

Because the truth is I still love this guy deeply as a brother.

But I also carry years of hurt and resentment.

He forgot my birthday while I remembered his exactly at midnight even during hard times in my own life. During periods where I was sick, I wished he would call me first sometimes instead of me always being the one checking up on him. Sometimes I feel like I loved him more carefully than he loved me.

At the same time, maybe he loved me differently.

I genuinely don’t know anymore.

Sometimes I think part of why I became distant is because I started mentally preparing myself for an ending long before anything actually ended.

I’ve thought many times that maybe one day, before leaving abroad for studies and starting a new chapter of life, I would sit down with him one final time and confess everything honestly — the hurt, the resentment, the love, the disappointment, the gratitude, all of it.

Not to blame him.

Not to make him guilty.

But just so he finally understands what I could never properly say while we were still living inside the friendship.

Then maybe leave things peacefully and move forward with life.

The strange thing is, every time I imagine that “final goodbye,” it doesn’t feel satisfying.

It just feels sad.

Because despite all the pain, part of me still sees the same boy who accidentally matched orange shirts with me, hugged me from behind at school, argued with me over stupid things, sought my approval, and stayed beside me during some of the hardest moments of my life.

And maybe that’s what makes this friendship so difficult to let go of completely.

Part of me wants to reconnect maturely and stop letting pride and silence ruin something real.

Another part of me wants to leave for studies abroad one day, quietly detach from everyone, and start a completely new life.

Has anyone experienced a friendship where both people clearly loved each other deeply, but resentment slowly poisoned the connection?

Can friendships like this recover, or once emotional distance enters, does it never fully become the same again?

TL;DR: Me and my best friend were extremely close for 5 years like brothers. We cared deeply about each other, supported each other through major life moments, and naturally connected in a way that felt rare. But over time, resentment built up because I often felt emotionally overlooked, unappreciated, and deeply hurt by certain things he said and did, even though I know he genuinely loved me too.

After one comment accusing me of being jealous of him, something emotionally broke inside me. I slowly became distant, while he kept trying to reconnect. Now we both clearly still care about each other, but years of silence, hurt, and unresolved feelings have created emotional distance between us. Part of me wants to repair the friendship maturely, while another part wants to quietly let it go and move on with life. I don’t know what to decide.

I genuinely don’t know whether I should save this friendship or slowly let it go.

We’ve been friends for around 5 years. Not normal friends either. We were the type people used to call brothers, soulmates, twins.

The funny thing is we used to accidentally match all the time without planning it.

One time before an exam, both of us separately bought brown shoes from retail stores. We met on exam day wearing the exact same shoes. Another time I wore a bright orange shirt and he showed up in the same shade of orange. It happened so often people genuinely started asking if we coordinated our outfits beforehand.

We didn’t.

We just somehow moved alike.

We were obsessed with each other’s company in that close-friend kind of way. We talked constantly during O Levels. Same humor, same energy, same weirdness. I liked his innocence, his carefree personality, his stupid unhinged jokes, and the fact that whenever I needed someone, he’d usually be there somehow.

I also want to say this honestly before making him sound like the villain: I don’t consider myself a perfect or even necessarily a “good” friend all the time. I know I have flaws. I can become emotionally distant, overly silent, and bad at expressing hurt directly. But I genuinely try to become a better friend whenever I realize I’m wrong. I reflect a lot on myself.

Maybe part of why friendship means so much to me is because I’ve been unfortunate with friendships before. I’ve had friends who only stayed around when it benefited them, people who used me when convenient and disappeared afterward. Some just wanted the ride, not the person.

So for me, friendship became something sacred.

To me friendship means:

someone you can vent to without feeling judged,

someone who advises you honestly,

someone who celebrates your wins genuinely,

someone who sits beside you in your lows,

someone you can be fully free around,

someone who loves and respects you.

And despite everything, one thing I cannot deny is that he still respects me deeply, admires me, and loves me like a brother.

Honestly, I probably know him better than almost anyone else does.

I’ve helped him even during inconvenient moments in my own life because convenience never meant much to me when it came to friendship. One time he needed accounting notes urgently which I didn’t even have myself. I still went out of my way asking around different people just to arrange them for him because that’s just how I viewed friendship.

That’s why all of this hurts so much.

One thing about him is he almost never accepts when he’s wrong. He listens, but rarely admits fault directly. It frustrated me a lot because I was always the “adviser” friend. I used to tell him what he needed to hear instead of what he wanted to hear.

Another thing that used to bother me was how much he showed off achievements online. I used to advise him not to post everything because I genuinely believe people can’t ruin what they don’t know about. I always preferred protecting good things quietly instead of displaying them publicly.

But he never listened.

Maybe that sounds small, but it reflects our dynamic a lot. I was always trying to protect him in my own way while he often brushed things aside until life itself taught him later.

At one point a girl confessed to him. He fell for her immediately. I could see all the red flags from miles away. I spent months trying to explain things to him, hours of conversations, warnings, advice, everything. Meanwhile his other friends just told him whatever made him feel good.

Eventually I got tired.

Then one day during a random conversation with friends, he suddenly called me jealous of him.

I genuinely think that sentence broke something inside me.

Because I loved this guy like a brother. I wanted the best for him even when he annoyed me. Hearing “you’re jealous of me” from him felt horrible.

To be fair to him, he later apologized multiple times and admitted he said it out of anger. I forgave him. At least consciously I did.

But emotionally, I think part of me still clung to that broken feeling afterward.

After that I slowly became distant. Not out of hatred, but because I genuinely couldn’t control my feelings anymore. I became quieter around him. Short replies. Less eye contact. Less warmth.

The thing is… he noticed immediately.

He kept trying to reconnect while I kept emotionally pulling away.

Eventually we barely talked properly for almost 2 years.

Then one day he came back and admitted I was right about the girl all along. She cheated on him.

Ironically around that same time, I was working as a teacher’s assistant and got assigned to tutor him academically.

Despite everything, I put my feelings aside and taught him properly.

Watching him go from a D student to getting an A honestly made me proud. Not just as a teacher, but as a friend.

But after that I distanced myself again.

That’s when he finally exploded emotionally.

He sent me huge paragraphs saying he noticed me changing for months. He said I treated other friends warmly but became cold specifically toward him. He said he felt ignored, unwanted, and confused because I never directly told him what was wrong.

And honestly? Reading those messages hurt because I realized he was suffering too.

What makes this even harder is that I know he genuinely cares about me.

When I became seriously ill and got hospitalized, I didn’t tell anyone. My mother informed him. He came to visit me, took my medical reports himself, even consulted different doctors using his own money trying to help me.

Recently I needed a file from school. He insisted on going with me even though he was busy. He told me:

“Don’t worry mate, I can do it for you.”

Yesterday when I got there, he suddenly hugged me from behind jokingly.

And instead of smiling like I normally would, I just walked away silently toward the work.

I regret that so much.

Later I sent him old pictures of us together from previous years. Coincidentally many were taken on the exact same dates years apart without us realizing.

He replied:

“Time and tide wait for none. Seems like as if we were yesterday.”

And honestly I almost broke emotionally reading that.

Because the truth is I still love this guy deeply as a brother.

But I also carry years of hurt and resentment.

He forgot my birthday while I remembered his exactly at midnight even during hard times in my own life. During periods where I was sick, I wished he would call me first sometimes instead of me always being the one checking up on him. Sometimes I feel like I loved him more carefully than he loved me.

At the same time, maybe he loved me differently.

I genuinely don’t know anymore.

Sometimes I think part of why I became distant is because I started mentally preparing myself for an ending long before anything actually ended.

I’ve thought many times that maybe one day, before leaving abroad for studies and starting a new chapter of life, I would sit down with him one final time and confess everything honestly — the hurt, the resentment, the love, the disappointment, the gratitude, all of it.

Not to blame him.

Not to make him guilty.

But just so he finally understands what I could never properly say while we were still living inside the friendship.

Then maybe leave things peacefully and move forward with life.

The strange thing is, every time I imagine that “final goodbye,” it doesn’t feel satisfying.

It just feels sad.

Because despite all the pain, part of me still sees the same boy who accidentally matched orange shirts with me, hugged me from behind at school, argued with me over stupid things, sought my approval, and stayed beside me during some of the hardest moments of my life.

And maybe that’s what makes this friendship so difficult to let go of completely.

Part of me wants to reconnect maturely and stop letting pride and silence ruin something real.

Another part of me wants to leave for studies abroad one day, quietly detach from everyone, and start a completely new life.

Has anyone experienced a friendship where both people clearly loved each other deeply, but resentment slowly poisoned the connection?

Can friendships like this recover, or once emotional distance enters, does it never fully become the same again?

I genuinely don’t know whether I should save this friendship or slowly let it go.

We’ve been friends for around 5 years. Not normal friends either. We were the type people used to call brothers, soulmates, twins.

The funny thing is we used to accidentally match all the time without planning it.

One time before an exam, both of us separately bought brown shoes from retail stores. We met on exam day wearing the exact same shoes. Another time I wore a bright orange shirt and he showed up in the same shade of orange. It happened so often people genuinely started asking if we coordinated our outfits beforehand.

We didn’t.

We just somehow moved alike.

We were obsessed with each other’s company in that close-friend kind of way. We talked constantly during O Levels. Same humor, same energy, same weirdness. I liked his innocence, his carefree personality, his stupid unhinged jokes, and the fact that whenever I needed someone, he’d usually be there somehow.

I also want to say this honestly before making him sound like the villain: I don’t consider myself a perfect or even necessarily a “good” friend all the time. I know I have flaws. I can become emotionally distant, overly silent, and bad at expressing hurt directly. But I genuinely try to become a better friend whenever I realize I’m wrong. I reflect a lot on myself.

Maybe part of why friendship means so much to me is because I’ve been unfortunate with friendships before. I’ve had friends who only stayed around when it benefited them, people who used me when convenient and disappeared afterward. Some just wanted the ride, not the person.

So for me, friendship became something sacred.

To me friendship means:

someone you can vent to without feeling judged,

someone who advises you honestly,

someone who celebrates your wins genuinely,

someone who sits beside you in your lows,

someone you can be fully free around,

someone who loves and respects you.

And despite everything, one thing I cannot deny is that he still respects me deeply, admires me, and loves me like a brother.

Honestly, I probably know him better than almost anyone else does.

I’ve helped him even during inconvenient moments in my own life because convenience never meant much to me when it came to friendship. One time he needed accounting notes urgently which I didn’t even have myself. I still went out of my way asking around different people just to arrange them for him because that’s just how I viewed friendship.

That’s why all of this hurts so much.

One thing about him is he almost never accepts when he’s wrong. He listens, but rarely admits fault directly. It frustrated me a lot because I was always the “adviser” friend. I used to tell him what he needed to hear instead of what he wanted to hear.

Another thing that used to bother me was how much he showed off achievements online. I used to advise him not to post everything because I genuinely believe people can’t ruin what they don’t know about. I always preferred protecting good things quietly instead of displaying them publicly.

But he never listened.

Maybe that sounds small, but it reflects our dynamic a lot. I was always trying to protect him in my own way while he often brushed things aside until life itself taught him later.

At one point a girl confessed to him. He fell for her immediately. I could see all the red flags from miles away. I spent months trying to explain things to him, hours of conversations, warnings, advice, everything. Meanwhile his other friends just told him whatever made him feel good.

Eventually I got tired.

Then one day during a random conversation with friends, he suddenly called me jealous of him.

I genuinely think that sentence broke something inside me.

Because I loved this guy like a brother. I wanted the best for him even when he annoyed me. Hearing “you’re jealous of me” from him felt horrible.

To be fair to him, he later apologized multiple times and admitted he said it out of anger. I forgave him. At least consciously I did.

But emotionally, I think part of me still clung to that broken feeling afterward.

After that I slowly became distant. Not out of hatred, but because I genuinely couldn’t control my feelings anymore. I became quieter around him. Short replies. Less eye contact. Less warmth.

The thing is… he noticed immediately.

He kept trying to reconnect while I kept emotionally pulling away.

Eventually we barely talked properly for almost 2 years.

Then one day he came back and admitted I was right about the girl all along. She cheated on him.

Ironically around that same time, I was working as a teacher’s assistant and got assigned to tutor him academically.

Despite everything, I put my feelings aside and taught him properly.

Watching him go from a D student to getting an A honestly made me proud. Not just as a teacher, but as a friend.

But after that I distanced myself again.

That’s when he finally exploded emotionally.

He sent me huge paragraphs saying he noticed me changing for months. He said I treated other friends warmly but became cold specifically toward him. He said he felt ignored, unwanted, and confused because I never directly told him what was wrong.

And honestly? Reading those messages hurt because I realized he was suffering too.

What makes this even harder is that I know he genuinely cares about me.

When I became seriously ill and got hospitalized, I didn’t tell anyone. My mother informed him. He came to visit me, took my medical reports himself, even consulted different doctors using his own money trying to help me.

Recently I needed a file from school. He insisted on going with me even though he was busy. He told me:

“Don’t worry mate, I can do it for you.”

Yesterday when I got there, he suddenly hugged me from behind jokingly.

And instead of smiling like I normally would, I just walked away silently toward the work.

I regret that so much.

Later I sent him old pictures of us together from previous years. Coincidentally many were taken on the exact same dates years apart without us realizing.

He replied:

“Time and tide wait for none. Seems like as if we were yesterday.”

And honestly I almost broke emotionally reading that.

Because the truth is I still love this guy deeply as a brother.

But I also carry years of hurt and resentment.

He forgot my birthday while I remembered his exactly at midnight even during hard times in my own life. During periods where I was sick, I wished he would call me first sometimes instead of me always being the one checking up on him. Sometimes I feel like I loved him more carefully than he loved me.

At the same time, maybe he loved me differently.

I genuinely don’t know anymore.

Sometimes I think part of why I became distant is because I started mentally preparing myself for an ending long before anything actually ended.

I’ve thought many times that maybe one day, before leaving abroad for studies and starting a new chapter of life, I would sit down with him one final time and confess everything honestly — the hurt, the resentment, the love, the disappointment, the gratitude, all of it.

Not to blame him.

Not to make him guilty.

But just so he finally understands what I could never properly say while we were still living inside the friendship.

Then maybe leave things peacefully and move forward with life.

The strange thing is, every time I imagine that “final goodbye,” it doesn’t feel satisfying.

It just feels sad.

Because despite all the pain, part of me still sees the same boy who accidentally matched orange shirts with me, hugged me from behind at school, argued with me over stupid things, sought my approval, and stayed beside me during some of the hardest moments of my life.

And maybe that’s what makes this friendship so difficult to let go of completely.

Part of me wants to reconnect maturely and stop letting pride and silence ruin something real.

Another part of me wants to leave for studies abroad one day, quietly detach from everyone, and start a completely new life.

Has anyone experienced a friendship where both people clearly loved each other deeply, but resentment slowly poisoned the connection?

Can friendships like this recover, or once emotional distance enters, does it never fully become the same again?

I genuinely don’t know whether I should save this friendship or slowly let it go.

We’ve been friends for around 5 years. Not normal friends either. We were the type people used to call brothers, soulmates, twins.

The funny thing is we used to accidentally match all the time without planning it.

One time before an exam, both of us separately bought brown shoes from retail stores. We met on exam day wearing the exact same shoes. Another time I wore a bright orange shirt and he showed up in the same shade of orange. It happened so often people genuinely started asking if we coordinated our outfits beforehand.

We didn’t.

We just somehow moved alike.

We were obsessed with each other’s company in that close-friend kind of way. We talked constantly during O Levels. Same humor, same energy, same weirdness. I liked his innocence, his carefree personality, his stupid unhinged jokes, and the fact that whenever I needed someone, he’d usually be there somehow.

I also want to say this honestly before making him sound like the villain: I don’t consider myself a perfect or even necessarily a “good” friend all the time. I know I have flaws. I can become emotionally distant, overly silent, and bad at expressing hurt directly. But I genuinely try to become a better friend whenever I realize I’m wrong. I reflect a lot on myself.

Maybe part of why friendship means so much to me is because I’ve been unfortunate with friendships before. I’ve had friends who only stayed around when it benefited them, people who used me when convenient and disappeared afterward. Some just wanted the ride, not the person.

So for me, friendship became something sacred.

To me friendship means:

someone you can vent to without feeling judged,

someone who advises you honestly,

someone who celebrates your wins genuinely,

someone who sits beside you in your lows,

someone you can be fully free around,

someone who loves and respects you.

And despite everything, one thing I cannot deny is that he still respects me deeply, admires me, and loves me like a brother.

Honestly, I probably know him better than almost anyone else does.

I’ve helped him even during inconvenient moments in my own life because convenience never meant much to me when it came to friendship. One time he needed accounting notes urgently which I didn’t even have myself. I still went out of my way asking around different people just to arrange them for him because that’s just how I viewed friendship.

That’s why all of this hurts so much.

One thing about him is he almost never accepts when he’s wrong. He listens, but rarely admits fault directly. It frustrated me a lot because I was always the “adviser” friend. I used to tell him what he needed to hear instead of what he wanted to hear.

Another thing that used to bother me was how much he showed off achievements online. I used to advise him not to post everything because I genuinely believe people can’t ruin what they don’t know about. I always preferred protecting good things quietly instead of displaying them publicly.

But he never listened.

Maybe that sounds small, but it reflects our dynamic a lot. I was always trying to protect him in my own way while he often brushed things aside until life itself taught him later.

At one point a girl confessed to him. He fell for her immediately. I could see all the red flags from miles away. I spent months trying to explain things to him, hours of conversations, warnings, advice, everything. Meanwhile his other friends just told him whatever made him feel good.

Eventually I got tired.

Then one day during a random conversation with friends, he suddenly called me jealous of him.

I genuinely think that sentence broke something inside me.

Because I loved this guy like a brother. I wanted the best for him even when he annoyed me. Hearing “you’re jealous of me” from him felt horrible.

To be fair to him, he later apologized multiple times and admitted he said it out of anger. I forgave him. At least consciously I did.

But emotionally, I think part of me still clung to that broken feeling afterward.

After that I slowly became distant. Not out of hatred, but because I genuinely couldn’t control my feelings anymore. I became quieter around him. Short replies. Less eye contact. Less warmth.

The thing is… he noticed immediately.

He kept trying to reconnect while I kept emotionally pulling away.

Eventually we barely talked properly for almost 2 years.

Then one day he came back and admitted I was right about the girl all along. She cheated on him.

Ironically around that same time, I was working as a teacher’s assistant and got assigned to tutor him academically.

Despite everything, I put my feelings aside and taught him properly.

Watching him go from a D student to getting an A honestly made me proud. Not just as a teacher, but as a friend.

But after that I distanced myself again.

That’s when he finally exploded emotionally.

He sent me huge paragraphs saying he noticed me changing for months. He said I treated other friends warmly but became cold specifically toward him. He said he felt ignored, unwanted, and confused because I never directly told him what was wrong.

And honestly? Reading those messages hurt because I realized he was suffering too.

What makes this even harder is that I know he genuinely cares about me.

When I became seriously ill and got hospitalized, I didn’t tell anyone. My mother informed him. He came to visit me, took my medical reports himself, even consulted different doctors using his own money trying to help me.

Recently I needed a file from school. He insisted on going with me even though he was busy. He told me:

“Don’t worry mate, I can do it for you.”

Yesterday when I got there, he suddenly hugged me from behind jokingly.

And instead of smiling like I normally would, I just walked away silently toward the work.

I regret that so much.

Later I sent him old pictures of us together from previous years. Coincidentally many were taken on the exact same dates years apart without us realizing.

He replied:

“Time and tide wait for none. Seems like as if we were yesterday.”

And honestly I almost broke emotionally reading that.

Because the truth is I still love this guy deeply as a brother.

But I also carry years of hurt and resentment.

He forgot my birthday while I remembered his exactly at midnight even during hard times in my own life. During periods where I was sick, I wished he would call me first sometimes instead of me always being the one checking up on him. Sometimes I feel like I loved him more carefully than he loved me.

At the same time, maybe he loved me differently.

I genuinely don’t know anymore.

Sometimes I think part of why I became distant is because I started mentally preparing myself for an ending long before anything actually ended.

I’ve thought many times that maybe one day, before leaving abroad for studies and starting a new chapter of life, I would sit down with him one final time and confess everything honestly — the hurt, the resentment, the love, the disappointment, the gratitude, all of it.

Not to blame him.

Not to make him guilty.

But just so he finally understands what I could never properly say while we were still living inside the friendship.

Then maybe leave things peacefully and move forward with life.

The strange thing is, every time I imagine that “final goodbye,” it doesn’t feel satisfying.

It just feels sad.

Because despite all the pain, part of me still sees the same boy who accidentally matched orange shirts with me, hugged me from behind at school, argued with me over stupid things, sought my approval, and stayed beside me during some of the hardest moments of my life.

And maybe that’s what makes this friendship so difficult to let go of completely.

Part of me wants to reconnect maturely and stop letting pride and silence ruin something real.

Another part of me wants to leave for studies abroad one day, quietly detach from everyone, and start a completely new life.

Has anyone experienced a friendship where both people clearly loved each other deeply, but resentment slowly poisoned the connection?

Can friendships like this recover, or once emotional distance enters, does it never fully become the same again?