After all this time of thinking I was just warm and finding foundation after foundation that made me orange or just didn't match at all I think realized I have olive skin. I think I am somewhere around a medium Muted Olive skin?
Obesity is driving me insane
Ive suffered with my mental health for as long as I can remember- I’ve been obsessive, anxious, depressed, and have never had a good relationship whatsoever with food/my body. I have been in a binge and restrict cycle since march ( only 12lb loss to show for it) and the way my brain responds to now being fed at maintenance is evil. It’s like when I’m in a calorie deficit I forget how my brain functions when it has the energy to torment me- my anxiety is at in all time high, my obsession with my appearance and extra weight and the fact I used to weight 100lb less than I am now is haunting me. My mind keeps telling me I cannot be beautiful or worth anything unless I lose weight but apparently I am incapable of losing real weight and keeping it off no matter how hard I try my body resist and so does my mind. I don’t have the energy to be obnoxiously obsessive/anxious when in a cal deficit because I don’t have much energy for anything at all even if the deficit is small, and in the end I always binge. I can’t look at myself in the mirror. I am disgusted.
Both of my great grandmothers on my mothers side( one born in America the other in Colombia)
I just thought this would be fun to look at. Also the native just slowly going up lol
I don’t know, no matter how hard I try my foundation most days never looks right to me it looks awful and it’s never glowy/light the way I want it to be. tbh Im thinking of never using it again - and my brows when I try to do them don’t turn out right for the most part when I do tooo much
Made the mistake of posting on that sub… while I was already struggling to look in the mirror… ofc it wasn’t good duh just like when I posted on Ami ugly and Ami ugly at this point Im starting to just believe it obv…. Im just so disgusted with myself and my weight and now I’m looking at beautiful crowns and wanting to look like them …
It’s as simple as that. That’s why they take things down and overly restrict or remove posts and honestly I think it’s ruining Reddi and it hardly helps with bots like they claim it does.
It messes with my brain but I’ve learn that most therapist and psychiatrist don’t rlly even know anything about ocd.. and will shun you especially if you are a woman. I’ve had bad ocd that I’ve had to learn to manage on my own as an adult. Someone on here, Reddit tried to tell me on the bases that they date a psychiatrist 🙄 that I don’t have it, and you know how this disease works. I have to constantly think that I’m faking it….
As a child,14, I had a very very huge episode with ocd it took away my happiness… I was washing the hell out of my hands , turning lights off and on, walking in and out of doors, checking obsessively on those I love cus I was convinced they’d die in their sleep if I didn’t. I was also having trouble sleeping, the intrusive thoughts were debilitating, I went from a teen who loved to draw to one who would sit there pencil in hand afraid to move it “ wrong” because it didn’t feel right. I had to blast music in my ears to get over the uncontrolled horror that was/is my mind. But people online will sit there having never gone through any of this and tell me I don’t have it, and therapist will refuse to “label “ it. I have had to study this disease to get to where I am now mentally and ofc it’s still not perfect but still. Anyone else? What’s your experience? I’ve experienced this and more in with ocd, at one point it even caused me physical pain. And at one point I had to sit on my hands to stop from doing compulsions…
I wasn’t trying to be a vampire for Halloween… I have hooded eyes and I haven’t yet figured out how to make liquid liner look good on them YET so I went without it and I prepped my skin so it didn’t look so dry with foundation..
Much more success todayyy before was so dry I needed to prep my skin..etc
NMIP. I’m almost certain I’m not a winter
I just can’t do it and if I hold off at alllll I binge the three days leading up to my period . I feel so so so hungry if I don’t give in it feels like suffering and not only do I feel psychotic mentally but physically feel as though I am being compelled to eat…. It makes me very very upset. I feel as tho u might have lost more if not for my lead up to period week.
I just can’t do it and if I hold off at alllll I binge the three days leading up to my period . I feel so so so hungry if I don’t give in it feels like suffering and not only do I feel psychotic mentally but physically feel as though I am being compelled to eat…. It makes me very very upset. I feel as tho u might have lost more if not for my lead up to period week.
1/2 year apart - I think I’ve gotten a littllee better
The last time I argued with my father he snatched my phone(I was 25 btw) saying he had the right because he bought it ofc and he made an attempt to also take my tv that I bought and when I took it back he had raised his fist to me but didn’t hit me and he also threatened to “spank me like a little girl”. he also tried to take my sister(19 at the time) computer ( which she was using for school) and told me I had 6 months ( this was about a year ago)to leave as a threat but then later ofc told me that we could stay with him as long he lived…… all of this was because I had ignored his nagging at me and my sister to clean up after we cooked. I always clean up after I cook and had told him thousands of times he didn’t need to harass me about it but he didn’t listen ofc. He and my mother are extremely obsessive and controlling of every aspect of what we do in “their” space and no matter how much I clean it is always somehow
My fault, while mind you both my parents are messier than me. But yea what did you do?