u/ResolutionWeak6353

My voice is feminine but sometimes I pass with it when I’m very lucky. I still despite is and want to rip my vocal cords out tho. The only problem is I want to be a singer one day. Singing is literally my biggest passion and I have a very wide vocal range and it is similar to Nicholas Petricca’s. I know for a fact going on T will not ruin my singing voice per se, but it will lower it and I’m worried I won’t be able to sing well anymore. I’ve done research, and all the sources tell me the same thing. T will 100% change your singing voice and lower it, but it won’t “ruin” it as long as you practice. I’m going to see an endocrinologist before I make the final decision, and I do really want a deep voice, but at the same time, my dream of being a singer is the only thing I’m living for (since being trans literally ruined every other aspect of my life and being a singer is the only reason I have to live since I’ll never be able to find a partner) and I’m just so so worried that T will destroy my range.

Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty TMI desires that I’d really like to try. However, I’d NEVER force my partner into them, and I’d never leave them if they didn’t want to do them. If they don’t want to do a specific thing, okay, let’s do something else. Let’s go out to eat, let’s watch a movie, let’s just sit here and talk. It’s really not hard. I wouldn’t leave my partner over not being able to fit my tastes in the bedroom because I don’t think it’s fair to tell someone they have to do something for you if they’re truly not comfortable with it. Also, sex isn’t a requirement to be in a relationship/love someone.

For some reason, it’s socially frowned upon if, for example, (I am NOT into this , I’m just using it as an example) one partner said to the other “Well, I’m into being tied up and peed on, so you HAVE to do it for me. No?! Well you better do it, or I’m leaving you!” Tell me why THAT’S frowned upon, but when people can’t/don’t want sex, it’s all of a sudden acceptable to leave the person you apparently “love” and it’s considered to be perfectly “acceptable” to say “you better have sex with me or I’ll leave!”

You’re really telling me, if your partner gets into some kind of accident/gets sick/etc and can’t/doesn’t want have sex with you anymore, you’d just leave and not look back? In my opinion, that is so selfish. Love is supposed to be a pure thing, where you stay with someone through thick and thin (within reason of course, not saying you should stay with them if they’re abusive, I’m talking about things that are out of their control) , yet it’s so socially acceptable to leave a partner simply because they cannot provide sex. You have hands. You can pleasure yourself if it’s that big of a deal. I never understood society’s obsession with sex. There are so many other ways to show someone that you love them.

In my PERSONAL EXPERIENCES, sex has always felt degrading. Like, it was like the person didn’t want it because they actually loved me, it was just because they wanted my body and that was it. Now whenever someone asks me for sex I assume they see me as an object.

Like I said I have unconventional desires in the bedroom too, but I’d never force my partner into them or tell them “well, I like this so we have to do it or I’ll leave!” Because that’s disgusting behavior. I just want to love someone who loves me back and there are so many other ways to show someone you love them without involving pleasure and lust.

Yesss another negative post, sorry but I’m just so fucking done.

I’m fucking tired of allos invading the asexual subreddit AND getting misinformation . I literally just want one community for only asexuals (this one basically) but nooo allos are so entitled they have to fucking invade everything!! GO AWAY!! All they do is talk about sex in the main subreddit, I had to leave it. They’re larping something that people actually fucking struggle with. AND I’m so tired of allos going into that subreddit and saying “wAAAAAHH MY PARTNER DOESNT WANNA FUCK ME WAAH BOO HOO MY LIFE IS SO HARD😔😔” why the fuck are you going into an ASEXUAL subreddit and telling everyone “hey! So you’re all undesirable to me because you don’t wanna have sex!😂✌️✌️✌️!! But also WAAAHH my life is so hard I also need advice from you guys too! It’s also fucking infuriating how it’s always the ace person who’s expected to compromise rather than the allo person giving up sex.

I’m not saying allos can’t be upset in their relationship, but they need to realize how privileged they are. THEY HAVE 90% OF THE POPULATION!! Your partner comes out as ace? Okay, you can find someone else super easily. Asexuals don’t have that privilege. I hate it when they try to act like victims. Like, wow dude. You’re truly oppressed. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to not only be able to fit in with an allonormative society, but ALSO to have such a large dating pool! Oh, the horror! The pain! I can’t imagine how hard that must be!

Sorry for the negativity but I desperately need advice and no offense but when I posted this to another subreddit the people in the comments were just making it about themselves instead of offering me advice.

I’m tired of tucutes telling me “you’re a unique man and you should embrace it! Stfu. Im just a regular man. I’m not automatically more understanding of the female experience just because I’m a (trans) man, I’ve always been a man. A girl told me yesterday that she actually preferred that I was trans because trans men are “nicer and more empathetic” and I never blocked someone faster. I’m tired of being put on a pedestal and being undermined. I just want to be fucking cis but no matter how many surgeries I get or how many pills I take I’ll never be a real man and it’s fucking killing me and making me want to die. I’ll never find someone who sees me as a real man.

Sorry for the negativity but I desperately need advice.
I’m tired of tucutes telling me “you’re a unique man and you should embrace it! Stfu. Im just a regular man. I’m not automatically more understanding of the female experience just because I’m a (trans) man, I’ve always been a man. A girl told me yesterday that she actually preferred that I was trans because trans men are “nicer and more empathetic” and I never blocked someone faster. I’m tired of being put on a pedestal and being undermined. I just want to be fucking cis but no matter how many surgeries I get or how many pills I take I’ll never be a real man and it’s fucking killing me and making me want to die. I’ll never find someone who sees me as a real man.

I am sex repulsed ace, currently too shy to be dominant, 5'5", unattractive, awkward and shy, usually cant initiate affection, severely mentally unstable, has severe gender dysphoria, and unfortunately a trans guy. The only ppl who want me are men with fetishes for pre T men, men who like the fact that I'm unstable because I'm easier to manipulate, or women who see me as "safer" than a cis man. I don't want you to see me differently, it's not a compliment. I've always been a man, stop thinking of me as "well erm he knows what it's like to be a woman He's better than those cis men!" I’m tired of women flocking to me because they see me as a “safer” option. I’m not your fucking pet. I’m not automatically superior. I want women to like me for ME, I don’t want the thing that draws them to me to be the fact that I am trans which is something I don’t even identify as and would rather forget about altogether. I don't want to be "safer" I want to be seen as cis. I can't even make friends because men sexualize me and women coddle me. Not even other queer and trans people treat me like a normal human being. I'm so touch starved but can't even hug because I'm terrified of people feeling my absolute gross disgusting fem body. Doesn't matter how much someone reassures me, l'll never be able to believe that they see me as a real man and won't get tired of my emotional instability. Everyone who promised me those things lied. Now I don't believe anyone.
l've also only had three crushes in my entire fucking life. So the odds of me finding someone who is also sex repulsed (will NEVER date someone sex favorable, I don't trust them not to change their mind on me and start demanding sex, and l can't date someone who is sexually attracted to me because it would gross me out) who’s okay with me being trans AND TREATS ME LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING MAN WITHOUT INFANTALIZING OR FETISHZIMG ME, okay with the fact that I'm shy and awkward and constantly nervous and on edge all the time and have severe BPD and very constant emotional breakdowns - is literally close to zero.
Don't tell me to get therapy because I'm in therapy and on medication and it's not doing shit for me.
Don't tell me "erm but you don't need a partner!!!"
Okay well I don't have any friends because I push everyone away because everyone eventually leaves or constantly talks about me being trans. So I'm fucking lonely and annoyed.

I feel like I can’t find any place to belong. In the other sub, they’ll say some fucking dumb shit like “I’m asexual but I love sex and do it with my partner allll the time! I’m valid! And actually I’m just as oppressed as aces who don’t have sex! In fact, I’m even more oppressed!!!” And then this sub is like “KISSING IS SEXUAL!!😡😡😡 IF YOU LIKE MAKING OUT YOURE NOT ACE GRRR😡😡😡” it’s like … dawg ..😭😭😭 it’s funny for sure, but when I stop laughing, I start to feel isolated. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. Trust me, I do prefer this extreme over the other extreme in the other sub, I’m fucking tired of them larping something people actually struggle with, but it still hurts to come here and be told I’m “not ace enough” even though the ONLY definition of asexual is someone who doesn’t feel any sexual attraction or desire. I don’t understand how kinks are sexual if you’re not getting off on them, and I don’t understand how making out is sexual either if there’s no private touches involved.

I am sex repulsed ace, currently too shy to be dominant, 5'5", unattractive, awkward and shy, usually cant initiate affection, severely mentally unstable, has severe gender dysphoria, and unfortunately a trans guy. The only ppl who want me are men with fetishes for pre T men, men who like the fact that I'm unstable because I'm easier to manipulate, or women who see me as "safer" than a cis man. I don't want you to see me differently, it's not a compliment. I've always been a man, stop thinking of me as "well erm he knows what it's like to be a woman He's better than those cis men!" I don't want to be "safer" I want to be seen as cis. I can't even make friends because men sexualize me and women coddle me. Not even other queer and trans people treat me like a normal human being. I'm so touch starved but can't even hug because I'm terrified of people feeling my absolute gross disgusting fem body. Doesn't matter how much someone reassures me, l'll never be able to believe that they see me as a real man and won't get tired of my emotional instability. Everyone who promised me those things lied. Now I don't believe anyone.
l've also only had three crushes in my entire fucking life. So the odds of me finding someone who is also sex repulsed (will not date someone sex favorable, I would feel guilty, I don't trust them not to change their mind on me and start demanding sex, and l can't date someone who is sexually attracted to me because it would gross me out" okay with me being trans AND TREATS ME LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING MAN WITHOUT INFANTALIZING OR EETISHIZING ME, okay with the fact that I'm shy and awkward and constantly nervous and on edge all the time and have severe BPD and very constant emotional breakdowns is literally close to zero.
Don't tell me to get therapy because I'm in therapy and on medication and it's not doing shit for me.
Don't tell me "erm but you don't need a partner!!!"
Okay well I don't have any friends because I push everyone away because everyone eventually leaves or constantly talks about me being trans. So I'm fucking lonely and annoyed.

I like the song too, but I don’t really understand the massive amounts of hype it gets. It’s one of the most popular songs on The Mountain, and sure, it’s catchy and unique but I never understood why people LOVE it. Not saying this to be rude , I’m genuinely curious and wanna hear another perspective!

I’m a (trans) man, and obviously, the gender norm is that men are supposed to be dominant. I’m not dominant in general, I’m shy and awkward, and I prefer someone else “taking the lead” because I’ve been SA’d and I’m actually terrified of making someone else uncomfortable or embarrassing myself in front of them. So I prefer being on the receiving end. Not only does it make me feel like I’m incredibly selfish, by taking without giving back, it also makes me feel like I’m just a stereotype. Like I fit right in with the Pre T shy submissive “trans boys” that fetishize themselves and call themselves femboys and whatever. That crowd.
Kinda unrelated but I’m so fucking lonely and it sucks not being able to date for another few years since I refuse to let anyone touch my body that isn’t a man’s.

I’m not kidding. This shit has fucking ruined my life. “Errmmm it’ll be better once you go on testosterone and get surgery!” I can’t do those things till I move out, and with the way the economy is, it’s gonna be fucking years before I can afford to pay for all that AND it’s not like you can just walk in and ask for a surgery and they give it to you. Do you seriously expect me to live another few years in absolute fucking agony when I’ve already been doing that for more than half of my life? I fucking hate being trans, no one sees me as a real man, I'm fucking tired of the "l hate men! But not trans men!🥺🥺🥺 I'm fucking tired of people they/themming me, I'm fucking tired of people seeing me as a woman, I'm Tired of people seeing me as the best of both worlds, I'm tired of being people's fetish
I just want to fucking actually fucking disappear and rip my skin off. Why the fuck did l have to be cursed with being trans, l fucking hate it so goddamn much, and no matter how many surgeries I get nothing will change that I was born a woman and I feel like l'll never be a real man and it's actually fucking killing me.

I’m so fucking tired of ace larpers. If I had a nickel for every time I was part of a marginalised group that was invaded by privileged larpers who speak over us and use our every day struggles as quirky personality traits, I’d have two nickels. Actually no, I’d have three. Asexuality, transgender, and BPD. Which is a lot.

Being asexual has quite literally ruined my life. It’s the reason I’ll never find anyone to date. I refuse to date Allos anymore because they all say the same thing “erm I don’t need sex I prooomise! I won’t be like your ex I proooomise!” Then they guilt trip you into sex. And they don’t give a FUCK how much it destroys me. REAL ace people are so incredibly rare, I’m on AceSpace but I’ve yet to meet someone in my state, and I don’t do overly long distance relationships. It also pisses me off that there’s an option on AceSpace to say you desire sex in your relationship. What?? Then why the fuck would you go on an ASEXUAL dating app if you desire sex? Just use a regular dating app instead of invading our spaces!! I don’t fucking understand it!!

It’s so aggravating that we literally had to CREATE a NEW FUCKING TERM (Apithosexual) because our community has been invaded by privileged people who think being asexual is just some quirky little label. Like I just don’t fucking understand how you can invade a community of people who struggle every day when you don’t have those struggles and completely take over, yet somehow still feel like you’re a good person after. It absolutely enraged me that, on the main asexual subreddit, I asked “sex favorable” “”asexuals”” if they think they have privilege over (sex repulsed) asexuals, and majority of them said no, and everyone who said yes was downvoted. We live in an ALLONORMATIVE society ffs, and our dating pool is way smaller. But nooo, sex repulsed aces and “sex favorable” “”aces”” are both marginalized apparently guys!! I even saw some people trying to argue that sex repulsed aces actually have the advantage. Actually fuck the fuck off.

Being trans and having BPD have also ruined my life, but those don’t have anything to do with this subreddit so I won’t speak on them. It just actually makes me so angry that thing I struggle with daily have been turned into nothing more than “fandoms” for people with no personalities to infiltrate and invade and speak over the people who ACTUALLY struggle.

I’m not kidding. This shit has fucking ruined my life. “Errmmm it’ll be better once you go on testosterone and get surgery!” I can’t do those things till I move out, and with the way the economy is, it’s gonna be fucking years before I can afford to pay for all that AND it’s not like you can just walk in and ask for a surgery and they give it to you. Do you seriously expect me to live another few years in absolute fucking agony when I’ve already been doing that for more than half of my life? Men fetishize me, women see me as “safer.” I’m so fucking tired of it.