"Aren't you a little old to be riding one of those?"
One of my neighbors is in his early 40s, drives a fancy German sports sedan, and seems to always be on his way to the golf course by the way he's dressed. One day he says out loud, as I'm OneWheeling by his driveway to the community mailbox, "Aren't you a little old to be riding one of those?"
I am old, like deep in my 50s old, so I turn around and without blinking shoot back, "Aren't you a little stupid to be talking?" Which came out way harsher than I intended. He gives a weak laugh, I give a weak laugh, which makes it worse, and I think really hard for a few seconds how to make this less awkward and apologetically say, "Hey, man, sorry about that stupid comment... When I ride, I feel like a thirteen-year-old and thirteen-year-old me was quite the asshat. I'm sorry about that."
With a weak smile, he gets in his car and says, "Ya, no problem," unconvincingly.
My question is... how many days, weeks, or months do I wait before I leave a flaming bag of dog poop on his porch? Kidding!