u/Silent-Leek-9222

I found out Billie eilish gave the phone number to all her fans, not the official number but a fun nice thing for them to feel like they have her number, a little excitement (it worked on me)

So does it end in the excitement or is it used for giving her concert or new song update?

sadly I can't call but I texted

(Please don't mind my grammar mistakes, I tried) So the dream started a group of people climbing up a mountain, forest type of area and it was located in Africa I believe because the group of people were foreigners and surrounding them there were African tribe people walking with the group to show them the jungle areas.

Now I'm viewing this dream as one of the characters who is a European man with lean muscles like the man has strong arms with biceps. In the dream it felt realistic like I was the man and I didn't know it was a dream..In the group of people, there were two people I know closely and they were my best friend (a man as well) and my girlfriend, My girlfriend was a tanned innocent looking girl with brunette hair, brown eyes while my best friend was also tanned, blue eyes, black hair, slim dude, We all are in our mid 20s I believe.

It looks like we are here for research, to collect and study herbs. I'm talking about a pecific herb which is only available in Africa (I don't know if this is true and I don't even remember it's name,I just remember how it looked which just looked like a purple flower) While I'm holding a map in my hand, explaining my two people about where we are heading too.

Now the other People in the group we were in were giving off comments which I wasn't sure if it was racist or not but I was telling them to stop and that we will make the African men who are walking with us, Mad..The Africans men, they were very taller then us and only some knew English, and some knew to understand but not talk, rest of the people didn't understand but were just to show us the way, Our translater was walking with us but didn't care about how we behave..The comments which the people I'm in a group with were saying how the African men look like monkeys and gorillas, and when I was telling them to shut up and be respectful, they were trying to justify it by saying, they meant it in a good way like they look very strong, tall, flexible.

I was getting frustrated with them cuz it's going to be a long walk and these idiots are being racist and most likely are going to pick a fight with them being we reach there and also I'm telling my best friend and girlfriend about how it's a pleasure for us that they let us in the jungle and is calmly showing the way to us but this idiots are ungrateful shits.

The walk was getting too long, at some point all are breathing a lot, complaining about why it's too far and sweating, And my girlfriend remembered she has a bf so she asked me to lift her in my back and walk for some time sake as her legs are giving up, I agreed cuz I'm thinking I did ask her to come when she refused to walk up a mountain, I Was the only one who was actually interested in seeing that herbs and learning about it so I was trying to cheer up others to walk more.

Finally we climbed up the place and we can see houses and shops here, The African tribe men who walked us here, told us to take rest for a bit and then we can walk more to see what we came here for because all of us look extremely tired, And I'm looking back at the group people who look like they are dying and thinking Yes, that's a good idea.

There is a vehicle shop thing with many times of African foods I think, And the group were looking in it to buy food for all of us, While my girlfriend and best friend were looking too, I thought I would use the restroom and come back...When I came back I saw my best friend and my girlfriend kissing on the lips just a side near the vehicle.

I was like, Huh wtf is happening in the few minutes I was gone, they saw me and started shouting at me saying the food was so good they had to kiss someone, and I'm like wtf and m'y girlfriend is Just standing there giving me a "oh shit" look on her face while my best friend is trying to tell me it's not a big deal, and let's pretend like nothing happened.

I got annoyed and slapped my best friend cuz he just kissed my girlfriend and is telling me it's no big deal after betraying our friendship childhood.

Then I looked at my girlfriend and told her we are no longer in a relationship, She just started crying.

My head was so hot from the sun already and on top of this, things which aren't even making sense in my head is happening and I'm like, I will just think about it after going home..now I will just concentrate on the herbs which we came here for.

Because all this was in my mind, without realising I started walking away from the group of people into an other forest area, And before I realise, I was lost from everyone..there are lots of monkeys but no humans here, I had my phone and bag witch me so I'm thinking at least that's a good thing, by there is no internet connection here obviously.

Suddenly a monkey jumped on my back, covering my eyes with 1 hand and was trying to take my phone with the other hand, first I tried to bend down and hide my phone but the monkey's nails are scratching me a lot on my face and back which hurts so I let my phone go

While thinking about all the information which I personally took in it, The group of people had cameras but I liked my phone view better and now it's gone. I sat down, opened my bag to take out medicine and I was applying it on my face and back cuz that area was wounded then I took my time drinking water, taking some rest.

I decided to walk where the monkey was going to see if the monkey threw my phone somewhere and just like I was thinking, it did so I got my phone,

I'm thinking it's a good thing it put down, even if the phone broke, I can at least have the memory card but thankfully the phone was still working and when I looked around to see where I ended it...I saw the purple flowers I was talking about before and my eyes brightened like I saw golds, I got excited and started thanking the monkey for taking me here some how, and I took a clear bag and collected two hand full of the purple flowers which I picked out carefully without destroying anything and keeping in mind to not be greedy and take just the right amount.

(my mom woke me up this time so the dream ended)

(Please don't mind the grammar mistakes) So the dream started a group of people climbing up a mountain, forest type of area and it was located in Africa I believe because the group of people were foreigners and surrounding them there were African tribe people walking with the group to show them the jungle areas.

Now I'm viewing this dream as one of the characters who is a European man with lean muscles like the man has strong arms with biceps. In the dream it felt realistic like I was the man and I didn't know it was a dream..In the group of people, there were two people I know closely and they were my best friend (a man as well) and my girlfriend, My girlfriend was a tanned innocent looking girl with brunette hair, brown eyes while my best friend was also tanned, blue eyes, black hair, slim dude, We all are in our mid 20s I believe.

It looks like we are here for research, to collect and study herbs. I'm talking about a pecific herb which is only available in Africa (I don't know if this is true and I don't even remember it's name,I just remember how it looked which just looked like a purple flower) While I'm holding a map in my hand, explaining my two people about where we are heading too.

Now the other People in the group we were in were giving off comments which I wasn't sure if it was racist or not but I was telling them to stop and that we will make the African men who are walking with us, Mad..The Africans men, they were very taller then us and only some knew English, and some knew to understand but not talk, rest of the people didn't understand but were just to show us the way, Our translater was walking with us but didn't care about how we behave..The comments which the people I'm in a group with were saying how the African men look like monkeys and gorillas, and when I was telling them to shut up and be respectful, they were trying to justify it by saying, they meant it in a good way like they look very strong, tall, flexible.

I was getting frustrated with them cuz it's going to be a long walk and these idiots are being racist and most likely are going to pick a fight with them being we reach there and also I'm telling my best friend and girlfriend about how it's a pleasure for us that they let us in the jungle and is calmly showing the way to us but this idiots are ungrateful shits.

The walk was getting too long, at some point all are breathing a lot, complaining about why it's too far and sweating, And my girlfriend remembered she has a bf so she asked me to lift her in my back and walk for some time sake as her legs are giving up, I agreed cuz I'm thinking I did ask her to come when she refused to walk up a mountain, I Was the only one who was actually interested in seeing that herbs and learning about it so I was trying to cheer up others to walk more.

Finally we climbed up the place and we can see houses and shops here, The African tribe men who walked us here, told us to take rest for a bit and then we can walk more to see what we came here for because all of us look extremely tired, And I'm looking back at the group people who look like they are dying and thinking Yes, that's a good idea.

There is a vehicle shop thing with many times of African foods I think, And the group were looking in it to buy food for all of us, While my girlfriend and best friend were looking too, I thought I would use the restroom and come back...When I came back I saw my best friend and my girlfriend kissing on the lips just a side near the vehicle.

I was like, Huh wtf is happening in the few minutes I was gone, they saw me and started shouting at me saying the food was so good they had to kiss someone, and I'm like wtf and m'y girlfriend is Just standing there giving me a "oh shit" look on her face while my best friend is trying to tell me it's not a big deal, and let's pretend like nothing happened.

I got annoyed and slapped my best friend cuz he just kissed my girlfriend and is telling me it's no big deal after betraying our friendship childhood.

Then I looked at my girlfriend and told her we are no longer in a relationship, She just started crying.

My head was so hot from the sun already and on top of this, things which aren't even making sense in my head is happening and I'm like, I will just think about it after going home..now I will just concentrate on the herbs which we came here for.

Because all this was in my mind, without realising I started walking away from the group of people into an other forest area, And before I realise, I was lost from everyone..there are lots of monkeys but no humans here, I had my phone and bag witch me so I'm thinking at least that's a good thing, by there is no internet connection here obviously.

Suddenly a monkey jumped on my back, covering my eyes with 1 hand and was trying to take my phone with the other hand, first I tried to bend down and hide my phone but the monkey's nails are scratching me a lot on my face and back which hurts so I let my phone go

While thinking about all the information which I personally took in it, The group of people had cameras but I liked my phone view better and now it's gone. I sat down, opened my bag to take out medicine and I was applying it on my face and back cuz that area was wounded then I took my time drinking water, taking some rest.

I decided to walk where the monkey was going to see if the monkey threw my phone somewhere and just like I was thinking, it did so I got my phone,

I'm thinking it's a good thing it put down, even if the phone broke, I can at least have the memory card but thankfully the phone was still working and when I looked around to see where I ended it...I saw the purple flowers I was talking about before and my eyes brightened like I saw golds, I got excited and started thanking the monkey for taking me here some how, and I took a clear bag and collected two hand full of the purple flowers which I picked out carefully without destroying anything and keeping in mind to not be greedy and take just the right amount.

(my mom woke me up this time so the dream ended)

Can you gals help me find more studies websites/wikipedias on "lesbian relationship do not have the highest abuse rate rather it's from Thier past relationship with men"

or anything simpler to this which helps to debate

I'm a 18F, feminist, lesbian from India.

I'm just on reddit and pintrest right now and it's hard to make girly friends here

if anyone wants me friend or just know me, my dms are open

Does anyone cope with making worse scenarios in their mind to cry out the tears they have, which was made by their real life hurt but it's not enough to cry it out

my scenarios are unhealthy, I would never want it in real life, to avoid putting myself in, I made a character which I use every day to make scenarios with, which helps me cry out

or feel better about my life

Is this normal? in the future I surely need therapy cuz the stories get worse and worse, but now I can't afford it

Do you guys ever feel bad, sad that you worked on something trying to put your best in it, expecting everyone (especially a parent) to be proud of you or tell good things

but when you show them the end result, they don't seem to like it as much as you thought they would, they say it's nice but give you the disappointed look

This keeps on happening to me, I'm not able to take it well even tho I pray for them to be proud of me every day

(I'm not good at english so please try to understand)

I'm in a WlW (women loving women) group on Instagram, Where we get to meet wlw girls and be just friends or date.

Most there are 17,18,19 age group

so I'm 18, my friends in the group are 18 as well

we all know eachother very well, talk daily.

Today a new person came in, She was 19. We all welcomed her, she gave her introduction, Talked with us

And We clicked at the evening because we are are flirty and have a same interests

and talked about seals, sharks and bugs...It was pretty greatt, I enjoyed it

and if she does something I don't like which I point out, She says sorry right away and says sweet things

I like her because she actually tries, plus listens to me, Is darect with her hints

but it got kinda bad when we found out we have too much timezone differents like she's from US and I'm from India

She said about us being buddies and seeing if we can manage, I cried but was joking about how I got friendzoned by a pretty girl

Now all this is just to say we clicked, The real problem is

In the gc, They were asking for the new girls to do a face reveal, I added to it saying "only if your comfortable" cuz we all are online teens

but then one of my friends (imma call her sofia) came and told my dm that she is asking for face reveal because there is a guy lying to be a girl in the gc

and Thier way of finding it was ask everyone face reveal, who doesn't give is a boy

(now the thing is, no one is saying how they found out there is guy in the group)

Plus even I didn't show my face when I first came, i showed some only after a month went by.

Now when this was happening the girl I like (I'm naming her Jessy) Jessy was teasing Sofia saying she's fake or her place which she came from is fake (they both are from US but different states)

Now joking or making fun in the gc is very normal, and I thought she's calling her fake in a way of "how are you this beautiful" type of way

and there was an other girl active as well who was also talking to Jessy normally, while Jessy was teasing Sofia

At the movement I didn't think much but later when I thought about it, I feel she did take it too far

it was the same sentence on repeat

The group of girls thought she was the guy who was hiding in the gc, Asked her to show a face pic

apparently she has said no many times then sent a "one time view" pic

to one of the girls, who is also my friend

(I'm going to call her ocean)

I didn't know about all this till, Jessy got removed from the gc and I asked what happened, in the group chat, they said it's nothing, she wanted to leave

so they removed her.

then I asked in the group chat, like what happened? why did she get removed

They said Jessy was bulling Sofia, calling her fake and her homeland fake

I told them I didn't know she was bulling, I thought they all were joking as they do normally, and I told sofia, Sorry for not standing up for her and keeping quiet, She said it's all good.

I asked ocean in dm if Jessy is the guy they were searching ? Ocean said yes

I asked how they found out, she told me about her not giving a clear face pic rather just 1 pic which one time view

I told her, even I didn't show my face before, maybe Jessy is the same, She just told me to trust her

Jessy said no in a different way (she won't tell me what way)

I was trying to know how because Yes I agree the bullying was not good, she took it too far, but I don't think she is a boy pretending to be a girl.

I asked Jessy, what happened

and just kept saying sorry and how she can't keep a friendship and keeps on ruining everything without intention too, she said how she used to fake word as a joke and nothing big

I agreed because at that time, I didn't think it was big, but I let Jessy know

that yes even if it's a joke, she shouldn't have pulled it for long

She was getting upset, I tried to comfort her but she kept on saying how I'm going to leave her or how she doesn't want me to come near or she is scared she will hurt me so she doesn't wanna talk well or let me close to her

I asked her again if she wants me to stay and get close or leave and stop talking, she just kept saying idk, idk

I got upset cuz I wanted her to say Yes, stay but she didn't.

I thought I will ask the gc members itself if they are okay with me talking or want me to stop it

(I know Thier answer will be stop talking, and I thought I needed to hear so I stop it and don't risk myself getting hurt, especially with someone my friends don't like)

Just like I thought, they said To stop talking to her, and Me the idiot agreed to stop talking about even block her

Which my friends were very happy about, even called me a girl's girl and good

Now me the idiot decided to block her but I felt like I was getting heart broken (I know I fell to fast, that's why I'm an idiot) I cried too cuz this all felt messy from no where

this whole time I felt like a lonely lesbian and finally there is a girl who was intrested in me, first time zone ruined it but now my friends don't like her.

I couldn't block her, and I asked ocean if I should block or just not talk,

she said i don't need to block

and at midnight, I couldn't take it and I messaged Jessy on how the situation is messy which hurts me

and was telling about her hurt, and we were comforting eachother

in that she told me she likes very much, but she's scared what will happen

I said the same, I told her if I had a Yes from her in the first place when I asked her if I should stay

I would have not even asked my friends about this

she saw that and said darectly, That she wants me and told me to stay with her

I wanted this so I agreed

but now I don't know how I'm going to tell my friends

I know I did something stupid

and plus I'm being selfish and doing it for myself, I know this relationship can end soon with our timezone differences but I still want to try because I feel hurt if I don't talk to her.

(update edit)

Reading this I remembered one big thing which I think changes many things

Sofia is a trans women, I didn't think if it while everything was happing but now thinking about it, That's why Jessy calling sofia as fake was more then just teasing or joking...I didn't think of it at all, feeling shame on myself

I thought more than her, she was pointing out her homeland to be fake, I didn't think it could be seen as transphobic at that time, maybe it is my fault, I forgot she was trans, Now I see how it could be so bad

Now I'm not sure what to do other then asking Jessy

if she knows sofia is trans, cuz till i know

I don't think anyone mentioned it for her to know, if she did know and called her and her homeland as fake, I see how bad it is

Should I just be honest fully to my friends like tell them what I thought A to Z?

I have been seeing many witches (good big ones) say to not use the word black magic because it's rotted to racism and last night I used to word black magic and someone corrected me asking not to use it kindly

but when I searched About it many say it's not rotted to racism, and we are making everything black into race

research says the word came in the same time while slavery was happening so it's connected

while other research says it just means darkness, night

I searched what to replace it with and it said Baneful magic is a good replacement

so do we guys agree to replace the world or no?

This is not personal, I have been seeing many witches do love spells for themselves or someone else

does it stay for ever or it has a time where it stops? or can it be broken? what if the person got enough and don't want anymore or it's becoming toxic?

i am doing it all night, At first I had trouble with pics, editing, then writing things, grammar, pdf

now there are more mistakes which I didn't notice even tho I kept checking which I need to fix

plus my mother wants me to change the way I did it again and again

I hope it's worth staying nights and making a good one which leads me to get a job