Update..
2 weeks ago my wife (9yrs married 11yrs together) got fed up and moved out while I slept.. it broke me into a million pieces because I lost my favorite person.. non stop crying.. couldn't eat, lost weight.. i started making changes with my body and seeing a therapist to help me become a better person..
Yesterday she asked if I wanted to go see our favorite movie at the local cinema (drive with ryan gosling lol) I agreed. We ended up kissing talking for 3 hours instead then went to see the movie lol
Today we talked on the phone for 4 hours about everything. She basically wants to make sure I will change and stop doing shenanigans that hurts our marriage. Big part of it was my gas lighting and mocking her like a pos I was and being a fat slob..
She wants me to better myself and get healthier for our future..to continue seeing a therapist etc..
I agreed and will not fail my wife and myself because i love her with all my heart. The fact that she is willing to work things out with me instead of just divorcing me makes me happy..
Thank you to all of you for helping me through this, because i spoke to many of you in DMs. You helped me get through a dark time in my life..