u/StunningPizza3747

Newly trained special needs teaching assistant here. I am just a 20 year old woman - when I started working for my agency I asked to just work with primary school aged children (max age 11). As I feel this is the most appropriate for all parties involved. Yesterday, I was sent to work in a class that was missing 4 permanent staff. I had never worked in this specific class before as it’s very high needs. Its specialist autism (the toughest pathway) and all of the students within are non verbal and can get very violent due to their strength. The boys were aged 16-18 ish, most of them around 6ft or taller.

the class teacher firstly had an awful standoffish attitude. She kept talking to other staff about how she’s got 3 unfamiliar staff in (3 supply staff were sent to help out, me included). She said this over the radios constantly and would also whisper about how ridiculous it is to other staff. I understand it is not ideal that we don’t know the students, but we were there to help and if we weren’t there, half of the students would have been sent home.

aside from the tense atmosphere from staff, i was warned about the boys’ tendencies. That they can typically grab staffs throats and choke them, especially if you flinch. One boy will head-but and has sent staff to hospital before. And one boy grabs young womens breasts repeatedly. i was honestly out of my depth being told this, I’ll admit. I’m not trained in physical intervention as I’m supply staff - so Im not allowed to restrain any student if they were to attack me. This made me feel very very unsafe.

As well as this, the teacher ended up leaving the classroom after lunch time and never came back. Not sure what she had to do, but we were left with just 3 experienced staff members. Typically they werent keeping close to any of us supply staff and left us outside in the play area with the boys. so if we were to be attacked if the boys became dysregulaged - we had no support and would not legally be allowed to restrain them.

it was overall VERY concerning. and although im very prideful about being good at my job - i felt completely unequipped for this class and i felt as though it was completely inappropriate.

should I speak to my manager/the school about this and put my foot down about it not happening again. Or am I overreacting?

I had worked in the company since a teenager and really just stayed for convenience - I could have one shift a week at university/college and pick up more shifts during my school breaks/summer.
however I never realised how unhappy I was going into work until I got my new job, which involves the same hours each day, finishing at 5pm and a higher rate of pay.

A huge issue with the company is the attitude of workers and the people in which they promote. I’ve worked in 3 different pubs over the years and there was a consistent issue with those that were more lazy and slow at work would be given the nicer, “easier” jobs. And if you were a better worker you’d probably be given 5x as much and the more annoying jobs to complete just because you don’t complain. For example, my pub track the money made on each till for the night and I’d consistently be at the top of the earners - yet I’d always be put on the floor to clean dirty tables and unclog blocked dirty toilets all night.
I feel like the pubs also run in a very old fashioned way. No praise, just nitpicking at workers to motivate them to work harder. For example, head office comes in and does an audit - perform badly due to staffing cuts and complain to managers - managers then pick at team leaders for not being bossy enough, which then gets the associates constantly watched like hawks. This then creates animosity within the team as associates are bearing a lot of the crappy work and seeing nothing In return. This leads to a crap ton of staff quitting (me included). With my pub losing 8 members of staff in one week.

The crappy hours are also a major issue. People will join the company promised “full time” work and then get 20 hours a week. How is this sustainable? And if you need to pick more up all you’ll be offered is coming in on a whim at 7pm if the place is struggling and desperately needs staff on for the night. This was probably one of the biggest reasons people quit. What adults are able to live getting roughly £250-300 income a week? Then to top it off because they’re cutting so many hours the pub performance drops off and we end up getting no bonuses.

I think a lot of long term staff are outgrowing the company as it’s not what it was a few years ago. The company benefits are pretty weak now in the grand scheme of things. 20% bonus doesn’t really make a difference and the price of food and drinks keeps increasing, with quality dropping.

didn't want to ramble on but honestly if anyones considering quitting just go for it.

I keep hearing different things eg 2 weeks is the standard But because I’ve been with the company over a year it’s 3 weeks.

just want to make sure Im not breaking policy so I still get my holiday pay etc etc.

thanks!

Essentially we always had a great sex life and we’ve been together 2 years. As we’ve been together longer and longer, I started to have recurring thoughts about the first time we got intimate. I felt very pressured from my boyfriend to give him a blowjob…. After I shook my head to say no he kind of kept ”convincing” me if you will. He said in the moment he thought I was being shy. Really, I just didn’t want to do it that early into our relationship. I went ahead with it and I felt okay at the time, it was just a “hey ho” situation.

as I’ve gotten older I’ve realised how much this has affected me. Around 2 months ago when we had sex I started bawling my eyes out as soon as we stopped. Then again the next time… And the next time and so on. The last time it happened it felt like a full blown panic attack - shaking, couldn’t breathe, moved far away from him etc.

Im now at a point where I feel really conflicted - We’re long distance again for the time being and I keep having sexual thoughts about him, I want to do things and all that. But I know if he was sat next to me I’d shoot down his attempts at initiation because I want to avoid the emotions Associated with sex together even though I want to be intimate.

im scared to talk to him about this, as I know it will come as a complete shock. And if im being completely honest i dont want to admit to anybody I felt assaulted years ago. I think it would be easiest to write in text, but Breaking up with him over text seems cruel. Is it okay to break up with him over this? Thank you

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Recently started supply teaching with an agency - was promised consistent work in September for some reason, Mon-Fri. Constant phone calls checking that I’m available to be working full time in September for weeks on end. The school year starts and it’s been complete radio silence from my consultant. Now I’m believing he promised me work so I would be completely free in September if work did come in, as he has nobody else to call on.

Feel really silly for taking his word for it, despite him being the divisional manager of the company.

has anyone else had disappointing experiences working in the supply teaching sector?

Recently started supply with an agency - was promised consistent work in September for some reason, Mon-Fri. The school year starts and it’s been complete radio silence from my consultant. Now I’m believing he promised me work so I would be completely free in September if work did come in, as he has nobody else to call on.

Feel really silly for taking his word for it, despite him being the divisional manager of the company.

has anyone else had disappointing experiences working supply?

Recently started supply with an agency - was promised consistent work in September for some reason, Mon-Fri. The school year starts and it’s been complete radio silence from my consultant. Now I’m believing he promised me work so I would be completely free in September if work did come in, as he has nobody else to call on.

Feel really silly for taking his word for it, despite him being the divisional manager of the company.

has anyone else had disappointing experiences working supply?

What am I able to do about this? A credit card was also opened in my name and run up and I was not allowed to be told the phone number. However the bank told me the last 3 digits of the bank accounts linked phone number, and of course it’s a relative.

considering I practically know who did this, can I file a report beyond “action fraud UK” as they do nothing. I keep being told identity theft is not a direct crime in the UK because I was not at a financial loss through credit, but if a bank account was opened was it not direct financial gain?

any help with the law in the UK?

TL;DR // I found out my credit score had plummeted and my dad has taken out a credit card in my name and run it up. As well as making bank accounts in my name without me knowing.

so I learned yesterday after only checking my credit for the first time (silly I know) that A credit card had been Taken out in my name. The limit was £1000, and the balance was at 126%. With 6 missed payments. After looking further into it £999 was taken from the credit card and that was it. 2 payments were made and after that there are 6 missed payments with interest running it up past the maximum balance.
when I spoke to both the credit card company and Experian, they told me that the phone number, address, postcode and email was different to that of my own. So it’s absurd this credit card was even allowed to be taken out despite it being clearly fraudulent. But that’s beside the point.

I knew the only person that has any access to my details and would do this is my dad. as he is currently undergoing a trial for fraud And has been found guilty of fraud in the past.

so I knew I had to be even more proactive. I decided to call up every main bank and ask if a bank account has been set up in my name. Lo and behold, a few weeks after the credit card was set up a bank account was set up in my name. With the email being a “spam” email full of mumbo jumbo. Yet the phone numbers last 3 digits being that of my dad’s. With my address linked to it. luckily he set this account up online and it was flagged as fraud and the bank immediately closed it the next day.

I am obviously distraught. and I’m not sure if I’m hot headed at present but i believe the only way of moving forward once the company solve this is speaking directly to my mother. Telling her she needs to leave him or she will never see me again. If she would choose to be in denial and not believe me then I don’t see how I could maintain a relationship with her.

so WIBTAH If I served this “ultimatum“ and cut contact entirely.

i found out earlier today a credit card had been run up 125%. I was told by my older sister that my dad had litter credit card fraud against her years ago, and I’m suspecting he has done the same to me. I believe he is the only person who could have got my contact details, as I’m extremely private otherwise.

when I spoke to the police over the phone, they said it is up to the credit card company to deal with this sit isn’t directly fraud to me. But if I suspect my dad did it, am I able to have it be made an Investigation?

I’m A 19 year old student and unfortunately have just found out someone has opened a credit card in my name around 6 months ago, has run it up and missed many payments. I have never opened a credit card so this is not me.
I reported it to Experian and Capital one (the credit card company) and they have opened a report and said they would look into it and it can be cleared from my records. They also told me a CIFAS marker has been put onto the account stating I am a victim of fraud.

has anyone any experience with this and is it likely to be resolved? i was told it can’t go to the police as identity theft is not a direct crime or something of the sorts. Any advice//encouragement?

Hi all. I’m a student and I’ve never applied for a credit card at all. I’m very confused on if this is a scam or legitimate and I need to look into it?? The website is saying I have 6 missed payments and I’m over my credit budget. Is this legit or??

so I only just got around to checking my credit score with Experian, purely out of curiosity.
my score is 358- so not high. Ive never had a credit card or anything of the sorts.
however, it said I have “2 high impacts” and ”1medium impact”, but to view this, I have to upgrade and pay to view it further, which seems slightly dodgy lol...

although it says I have no hard searches.

is this normal? And am I supposed to pay the fee to view these “impacts”?

So at the end of last year I started suffering from stress induced hair loss. It lasted 4 months start to finish. when it started, it was so upsetting to see myself lose handfuls of hair every wash day. as well as every time I brushed my hair. I Would genuinely have a panic attack and cry for the rest of the night every time I washed my hair. I couldn’t bare it.

so I decided… I wasn’t going to wash my hair again until the hair fall stopped completely. And I did just that. 2.5 months went by of me not washing my hair. Not rinsing, not using any treatments, just keeping it up in a bun and slicked back. Obviously, this was awful. I felt disgusting, I mustve looked disgusting with oily flaky hair. mu scalp used to BURN from irritation from not washing it. I’m talking having to take pain medication from the severe itching. some days I could barely sleep from the itchiness.
eventually, the hair fall stopped. And I immediately started washing again regularly. But looking back, I cannot believe how much time passed by with me feeling so disgusting and not washing it. I felt like I was probably experiencing a phase of mild depression.

So at the end of last year I started suffering from stress induced hair loss. It lasted 4 months start to finish. when it started, it was so upsetting to see myself lose handfuls of hair every wash day. as well as every time I brushed my hair. I Would genuinely have a panic attack and cry for the rest of the night every time I washed my hair. I couldn’t bare it.

so I decided… I wasn’t going to wash my hair again until the hair fall stopped completely. And I did just that. 2.5 months went by of me not washing my hair. Not rinsing, not using any treatments, just keeping it up in a bun and slicked back. Obviously, this was awful. I felt disgusting, I mustve looked disgusting with oily flaky hair. mu scalp used to BURN from irritation from not washing it. I’m talking having to take pain medication from the severe itching. some days I could barely sleep from the itchiness.
eventually, the hair fall stopped. And I immediately started washing again regularly. But looking back, I cannot believe how much time passed by with me feeling so disgusting and not washing it. I felt like I was probably experiencing a phase of mild depression.

I am so fed up of it. Yes I use the correct shampoos and treatments but having to wash my hair 3-4 times a week to keep the condition at bay is just becoming so unmanageble.
whilst it’s nearing summer it’s “okay” because I can let my scalp air dry properly quickly. But once it cooler I will have to be fully drying via a hairdryer. even with heat protectant this is just so damaging on my curly fine hair. it’s impossible to keep my scalp clean and dry but my length heavily moisturised for my curls.

sorry to rant but I’m just entirely fed up. I’m considering just going back to washing every 2 days and ignoring it…

British here. I don’t get the talk of the whole tax write off and what that has to do with her brand. Sorry for being stupid! Help me understand

I don’t know if this is the right place to even ask for advice… I’ve noticed her eating patterns have always been odd. I’ll see her come down maybe once in a day For food. And it will be a small portion of plain pasta with cheese. No snacking, no breakfast, no water. Just an empty calorie meal every once in a while.
i just assumed she was out all day and thats why we never see her. Until. I realised she actually isn’t going out. Another flatmate pointed out how they have her Snapchat location and she is always just in the flat.

so it started to get weirder. We wouldn’t see her all day and then suddenly she would come downstairs and get a bowl of sugar. I’m talking about maybe 20 grams of sugar in a bowl. That’s it. Then she’d take it back up to her room and we wouldn’t see her again. I’m wondering if the sugar is something she sees as “clean calories” when she feels weak, instead of a chocolate bar or something to get her sugar up.
she is VERY skinny and shes starting to look sunken. Despite being very petite (probably 5ft1 or 2).

Should I check in? I wouldn’t mention that I’ve noticed anything but maybe just seeing how she’s feeling.

I don’t know if this is the right place to even ask for advice… I’ve noticed her eating patterns have always been odd. I’ll see her come down maybe once in a day For food. And it will be a small portion of plain pasta with cheese. No snacking, no breakfast, no water. Just an empty calorie meal every once in a while.
i just assumed she was out all day and thats why we never see her. Until. I realised she actually isn’t going out. Another flatmate pointed out how they have her Snapchat location and she is always just in the flat.

so it started to get weirder. We wouldn’t see her all day and then suddenly she would come downstairs and get a bowl of sugar. I’m talking about maybe 20 grams of sugar in a bowl. That’s it. Then she’d take it back up to her room and we wouldn’t see her again. I’m wondering if the sugar is something she sees as “clean calories” when she feels weak, instead of a chocolate bar or something to get her sugar up.
she is VERY skinny and shes starting to look sunken. Despite being very petite (probably 5ft1 or 2).

Should I check in? I wouldn’t mention that I’ve noticed anything but maybe just seeing how she’s feeling.