u/Sufficient_Turn_2614

Hi everyone. I’m 19F, and I’ve been trying to work on my anxiety, but I feel like I don’t actually know how to regulate it.

Most advice I see is things like “take deep breaths,” “challenge your thoughts,” or “just let it pass,” but I feel like I’m missing something because my anxiety keeps showing up in different situations.

For example, I recently started helping at my family’s business. Before going to work, I get really anxious and feel like I don’t want to go. When I interact with customers, my mind goes blank, I overthink everything I say, and I even mess up simple calculations because I feel so pressured. The weird thing is that I know how to do these things when I’m calm.

I also struggle with rumination after a breakup from a 4-year relationship. I’ll be trying to focus on myself, but my mind randomly goes back to my ex and starts imagining “what if” scenarios. I acknowledge the thoughts and try to redirect myself, but they keep coming back.

I’m already trying to improve my life by fixing my sleep schedule, exercising, helping at work, reducing doomscrolling, and learning emotional regulation, but I still feel anxious almost every day.

So I wanted to ask people who have learned to manage their anxiety: what does emotional regulation actually look like in real life? What do you do when you notice yourself getting anxious? How do you stop your mind from spiraling without just suppressing your emotions?

I’m looking for practical things that helped you, whether it’s skills, routines, books, therapy techniques, or mindset shifts. I’d really appreciate hearing what worked for you.

Hi everyone. I’m 19F, and I’ve been trying to work on my anxiety, but I feel like I don’t actually know how to regulate it.

Most advice I see is things like “take deep breaths,” “challenge your thoughts,” or “just let it pass,” but I feel like I’m missing something because my anxiety keeps showing up in different situations.

For example, I recently started helping at my family’s business. Before going to work, I get really anxious and feel like I don’t want to go. When I interact with customers, my mind goes blank, I overthink everything I say, and I even mess up simple calculations because I feel so pressured. The weird thing is that I know how to do these things when I’m calm.

I also struggle with rumination after a breakup from a 4-year relationship. I’ll be trying to focus on myself, but my mind randomly goes back to my ex and starts imagining “what if” scenarios. I acknowledge the thoughts and try to redirect myself, but they keep coming back.

I’m already trying to improve my life by fixing my sleep schedule, exercising, helping at work, reducing doomscrolling, and learning emotional regulation, but I still feel anxious almost every day.

So I wanted to ask people who have learned to manage their anxiety: what does emotional regulation actually look like in real life? What do you do when you notice yourself getting anxious? How do you stop your mind from spiraling without just suppressing your emotions?

I’m looking for practical things that helped you, whether it’s skills, routines, books, therapy techniques, or mindset shifts. I’d really appreciate hearing what worked for you.

Ngayon gusto ko na siyang i-embrace pero nahihiya akong mag-start. Gusto kong matuto ng makeup, self-care, at maging more put together. Any beginner tips or low-maintenance essentials? 🥹

Hi everyone. I’m 19F, and I’ve been trying to work on my anxiety, but I feel like I don’t actually know how to regulate it.

Most advice I see is things like “take deep breaths,” “challenge your thoughts,” or “just let it pass,” but I feel like I’m missing something because my anxiety keeps showing up in different situations.

For example, I recently started helping at my family’s business. Before going to work, I get really anxious and feel like I don’t want to go. When I interact with customers, my mind goes blank, I overthink everything I say, and I even mess up simple calculations because I feel so pressured. The weird thing is that I know how to do these things when I’m calm.

I also struggle with rumination after a breakup from a 4-year relationship. I’ll be trying to focus on myself, but my mind randomly goes back to my ex and starts imagining “what if” scenarios. I acknowledge the thoughts and try to redirect myself, but they keep coming back.

I’m already trying to improve my life by fixing my sleep schedule, exercising, helping at work, reducing doomscrolling, and learning emotional regulation, but I still feel anxious almost every day.

So I wanted to ask people who have learned to manage their anxiety: what does emotional regulation actually look like in real life? What do you do when you notice yourself getting anxious? How do you stop your mind from spiraling without just suppressing your emotions?

I’m looking for practical things that helped you, whether it’s skills, routines, books, therapy techniques, or mindset shifts. I’d really appreciate hearing what worked for you.

I’m 19F and I’m trying to become a better version of myself, but I feel like my biggest problem is that I don’t trust my own judgment.
Whether it’s clothes, makeup, hairstyles, or even small everyday decisions, I overthink everything because I’m scared of looking dumb, making the wrong choice, or embarrassing myself. I end up researching for hours instead of actually doing anything.
For those who used to be like this, how did you build confidence in yourself and stop being so afraid of making mistakes? I’d really appreciate any advice.

I’ve been wondering about this for a while. I feel like I naturally come across as intimidating, unapproachable, or like I’m in a bad mood even when I don’t mean to. People have commented that I look serious or angry before I’ve even spoken.
It also feels like this “aura” affects me internally. Most days I carry this heavy, gloomy feeling that seems to decide my mood. Because of it, I become awkward around people, overthink everything I say, blank out, and end up feeling socially useless even though I know I’m capable of more.
I do struggle with anxiety, so I know it could be psychological rather than spiritual. But I’m curious if anyone here has experienced something similar. From a spiritual perspective, what do you think this is? And what helped you shift that heavy energy?
I’m open to both spiritual and practical insights. 🙏

Hi everyone. I’m 19F, and after getting out of a 4-year relationship, I realized how emotionally dependent I’d become on my ex. He was very controlling and jealous, and over time I slowly stopped trusting my own decisions and adjusted so much of my life around him that I feel like I lost myself.

Now that the relationship is over, I’m trying to rebuild my life. I’m fixing my sleep schedule, helping at my family’s business, reducing doomscrolling, and trying to improve myself. The problem is that I feel anxious almost every day, and I don’t really know how to regulate it.

The anxiety shows up in different ways. At work, my mind goes blank when talking to customers and I make mistakes doing things I normally know how to do. When I’m trying to focus on myself, my mind randomly goes back to my ex and starts wondering what he’s doing or imagining “what if” scenarios. I know the relationship is over and I don’t want to get back together, but my brain keeps pulling me back anyway.

I’ve already talked to my school’s counselor, but I still feel like I don’t know how to emotionally regulate. Most advice I see is to breathe, challenge your thoughts, or let the feelings pass, but I feel like I’m missing something.
For those who recovered from codependency, what did emotional regulation actually look like for you?

How did you stop anxiety from controlling your thoughts and decisions? How did you learn to trust yourself again instead of constantly needing reassurance or mentally going back to your ex?
I’d really appreciate hearing what genuinely helped you because I don’t just want to move on from him I want to become emotionally independent again.

Hi everyone. I’m 19F, and I’ve been trying to work on my anxiety, but I feel like I don’t actually know how to regulate it.

Most advice I see is things like “take deep breaths,” “challenge your thoughts,” or “just let it pass,” but I feel like I’m missing something because my anxiety keeps showing up in different situations.

For example, I recently started helping at my family’s business. Before going to work, I get really anxious and feel like I don’t want to go. When I interact with customers, my mind goes blank, I overthink everything I say, and I even mess up simple calculations because I feel so pressured. The weird thing is that I know how to do these things when I’m calm.

I also struggle with rumination after a breakup from a 4-year relationship. I’ll be trying to focus on myself, but my mind randomly goes back to my ex and starts imagining “what if” scenarios. I acknowledge the thoughts and try to redirect myself, but they keep coming back.

I’m already trying to improve my life by fixing my sleep schedule, exercising, helping at work, reducing doomscrolling, and learning emotional regulation, but I still feel anxious almost every day.

So I wanted to ask people who have learned to manage their anxiety: what does emotional regulation actually look like in real life? What do you do when you notice yourself getting anxious? How do you stop your mind from spiraling without just suppressing your emotions?

I’m looking for practical things that helped you, whether it’s skills, routines, books, therapy techniques, or mindset shifts. I’d really appreciate hearing what worked for you.

Hi! I’m planning to start accepting commissions for handmade crafts (like papercrafts/scrapbooks) in the Philippines, but I’m confused about how the whole process usually works.

I have a few questions:
How do you calculate shipping fees? Does the buyer usually pay for shipping?
Which courier do you recommend (J&T, LBC, Flash Express, Lalamove, etc.)?
When do you book the shipment after the item is finished and paid for?
How do you safely package handmade items to prevent damage?
Do you have any tips for someone doing commissions for the first time?

I’d love to hear how other Filipino commission artists or crafters handle their process. Thanks!

I’ve been curious about this lately.
For those who believe in spirituality, intuition, karma, divine timing, dreams, or other spiritual experiences, do you think it’s possible to get genuine insight into your future? If so, how do you tell the difference between a real spiritual message and your own hopes, fears, or anxiety?
If someone does receive insight into their future, is it usually accurate? Or is it more symbolic than literal?
And if you see a future you don’t like, can it change based on the choices you make? Or is it something that’s already set in stone?
I’m just genuinely curious about how people with different spiritual beliefs see this.

Lately I’ve been getting random waves of anxiety about the future. I’ll be completely fine, then all of a sudden I’ll feel like something bad is going to happen, even though I don’t have any real reason to think that.
Part of me wonders if it’s intuition or some kind of spiritual lesson, while another part of me thinks I’m just overreacting or letting my anxiety take over. I’m genuinely not sure, and I’d like to hear different perspectives.
For those who believe in spirituality, intuition, divine timing, or energy, how do you personally tell the difference between anxiety and intuition? Have you ever mistaken one for the other?
I’m not looking for someone to predict my future. I just want to better understand what I’m experiencing and hear how others have navigated something similar.

I recently got out of a long-term relationship that lasted four years, and I’m really struggling with moving on.

Even though I know the relationship wasn’t healthy and I don’t want to go back, I still find myself thinking about them constantly. I miss the version of them I used to know, and I keep replaying memories and “what if” scenarios in my head. I also catch myself expecting them to message me again even though we’re in no contact.

What makes it harder is that everything reminds me of them, places we used to go, things they liked, even small habits. I’ve tried focusing on myself, but some days it still feels like I’m starting from zero emotionally.

For people who have been through something similar, what actually helped you move on for real? Did anything eventually “click” for you? How do you stop hoping they’ll come back or reach out?

I’m not trying to rush healing. I just want to understand what actually helps people get through this stage and eventually feel okay again.

For those who believe in karma, divine timing, soul lessons, or that the universe teaches us through our experiences, I’d really appreciate your perspective.

I got out of a 4-year unhealthy relationship in March. After we broke up, I found out my ex had developed feelings for someone else despite our agreement to give each other space. I reacted in a way I’m deeply not proud of by exposing private screenshots, which involved innocent people. I apologized because I knew I was wrong. To make things worse, my ex falsely told people I had fabricated the screenshots, but he later admitted he lied. I took accountability and everything.

We’ve been in no contact for about a month now, but ever since then I’ve been carrying so much guilt, resentment, anxiety, and depression. It honestly feels like one bad thing after another has been happening in my life, and I can’t stop wondering if this is more than just coincidence. To be honest, I feel like my life got even worse ever since that situation happened.

Do you think this is karma? A lesson the universe is trying to teach me? A consequence of my own actions? Or simply grief and guilt?
If you believe in spiritual growth, how do you release negative karma, forgive yourself, and move forward? I genuinely want to learn and become a better person, not escape responsibility. I just want to understand.

I’m honestly not proud of this, but I need to get it off my chest.
Ever since my breakup, I’ve caught myself wanting my ex to suffer the way I did. Some days I hope he regrets everything. Other days I want karma to hit him hard. Lately, I’ve even found myself at the point where my mind has wandered to things like witchcraft or curses because I want him to feel the pain he caused me.
I don’t actually want to become that kind of person, and I haven’t acted on any of these thoughts. I know revenge won’t change what happened or give me my relationship back. But I’m struggling to let go of the anger, especially when it feels like he gets to move on while I’m still picking up the pieces.

Please don’t judge me—I know these thoughts aren’t healthy. I’m posting because I want to move past them, not feed them.

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My ex’s birthday is on July 14, and I’ve been going back and forth on whether I should send him a simple “Happy Birthday.”
We broke up in March, and we’ve been in no contact for about a month now. I’ve been respecting that and focusing on myself, so I’m hesitant to break it.
The thing is, I don’t want to message him because I’m expecting a conversation or trying to get back together. I just keep wondering if it’s the kind thing to do since we were a big part of each other’s lives. At the same time, I don’t know if reaching out would do more harm than good or if it’s better to continue respecting the no-contact boundary

Hi everyone. I’m a 19-year-old woman trying to understand whether what I’m experiencing is codependency because I honestly don’t recognize myself anymore.
I was in a relationship for 4 years, and looking back, I slowly lost my sense of self without even realizing it. My ex was very controlling and jealous. Whenever I met new people, especially potential friends, he would find something wrong with them or make me feel guilty for talking to them. Over time, I stopped making new friends and slowly adjusted my life around making him comfortable.
Before that relationship, I was independent. I could make my own decisions, I enjoyed meeting people, and I felt like I knew who I was. Now, I don’t.
The realization that hit me after the breakup was that I don’t think I only miss him. I think I miss having someone constantly tell me what to do. As unhealthy as that sounds, I got so used to asking for his opinion or changing my decisions based on how he would react that now I don’t trust my own judgment anymore. Even small decisions overwhelm me because I keep wondering if I’m doing the “right” thing.
I constantly think about him even though I know the relationship wasn’t healthy. My brain keeps replaying “what if” scenarios and imagining how things could’ve been if he had treated me differently. I know it’s not productive, but I can’t seem to stop. It’s mentally exhausting.
I’ve also been dealing with anxiety almost every day since a major conflict related to our relationship. I reached a point where I was overwhelmed with anger and hurt, handled the situation badly, made our private issues public, and other people got involved. It’s one of my biggest regrets, and ever since then I’ve struggled with constant overthinking, worrying about what people think of me, and feeling like my mind never truly rests.
I’ve already talked to my school’s counselor and have been trying to help myself by fixing my sleep schedule, helping out at my family’s business, learning about emotional regulation, and cutting back on doomscrolling. I’m trying to rebuild my life, but I still feel completely lost.
The hardest part is that I genuinely don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know what I enjoy, what I want, or how to make decisions without mentally asking myself what he would’ve thought. Sometimes it feels like I became so focused on maintaining the relationship that I forgot to maintain a relationship with myself.
I’m also terrified that he’ll improve his life before I improve mine. I know I shouldn’t compare, but I can’t help wondering why I have to struggle so much while he might be perfectly fine.
Has anyone else experienced this after a long-term relationship? Did you lose your sense of identity and confidence? How did you rebuild trust in yourself and learn to make decisions without needing someone else’s approval? What actually helped you become your own person again?
I don’t just want to move on from my ex. I want to become someone who feels whole on her own because right now I honestly feel like I don’t know who I am anymore.
Thank you for reading. Any advice or personal experiences would really mean a lot.

Hi everyone. I’m a 19-year-old woman, and I’m trying so hard to move on from my ex of 4 years, but I honestly feel stuck.
We haven’t been in contact, but it feels like he’s still in my head all day. The first thing I think about when I wake up is him. Throughout the day my brain constantly asks “what if?” What if things had been different? What if he changes? What if we could’ve worked out? I know these thoughts don’t help me, but I can’t stop them. The more I try not to think about him, the more I think about him.
The relationship wasn’t healthy. He was very controlling and jealous, and over the years I slowly lost my independence. I stopped making friends because every new person I met, he’d have something negative to say about them. I adjusted so much of my life around him that I don’t think I realized how much of myself I had given up until the relationship ended.
Before I met him, I was independent. I could make my own decisions and enjoyed meeting people. Now I feel like I don’t even know who I am. One realization I recently had is that I don’t think I only miss him. I think I miss having someone constantly telling me what to do. As unhealthy as that sounds, I became so used to him making me question or influence every decision that now I don’t trust my own judgment anymore.
One thing that’s been especially hard is comparing myself to him. I keep wondering, “What if he improves his life before I do?” or “What if he ends up happier after everything he put me through?” I know I shouldn’t care, but I do, and I hate that I do.
I’ve also been struggling with anxiety ever since a huge conflict related to our relationship. I became overwhelmed with anger and hurt, handled things very poorly, made our private issues public, and other people got involved. It’s one of my biggest regrets. Since then, I’ve dealt with anxiety almost every day. I overthink everything, worry constantly about what people think of me, and feel mentally exhausted.
I’ve talked to my school’s counselor and have been trying to help myself by fixing my sleep schedule, helping out at my family’s business, learning emotional regulation, and cutting back on doomscrolling. I’m genuinely trying to rebuild my life, but it still feels like my mind always finds its way back to him.
I also don’t want to keep dumping all of this on my friends because I feel like they’re probably tired of hearing about the same person over and over again.
I guess what I’m really asking is: for those of you who were in long-term or controlling relationships, how did you stop mentally living with your ex every day? How did you stop comparing your healing to theirs? How did you rebuild your identity after realizing you’d become emotionally dependent on someone?
I don’t just want to get over him. I want to become myself again, because right now I genuinely feel like I don’t know who that is.
Thank you for reading.

Hi. I’m a 19-year-old woman and I’m really struggling to move on from my ex after a 4-year relationship. It’s been taking over my life, and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.
The hardest part is that I know he wasn’t good for me. He was very controlling and jealous. Throughout our relationship, I slowly stopped making friends because every time I met someone, he’d say something negative about them or make me feel guilty for talking to them. I adjusted my whole life around keeping him happy, and I didn’t realize until after the breakup how much of myself I had lost.
Before I met him, I was actually independent. I could make my own decisions and manage myself just fine. But after four years of constantly being told what to do, what not to do, and what was “right” or “wrong,” I feel like I don’t know how to function on my own anymore. It feels like I forgot how to be myself.
Now I wake up every morning and immediately think about him. My mind constantly asks “what if?” What if things had been different? What if he changes? What if we could’ve worked out? I know these thoughts don’t help me, but my brain keeps going back to them. The more I try to stop thinking about him, the more I think about him. It’s exhausting.
I even had a dream about him recently, and when I woke up, I went back to sleep because I wanted to stay in that dream a little longer. I ended up sleeping for 16 hours total. I wasn’t trying to hurt myself—I just didn’t want to wake up and face reality.
Something else that’s eating me alive is comparing myself to him. I keep thinking, “What if he improves his life faster than I do?” or “What if he ends up happier than me after everything he put me through?” I hate that I think this way because I know his life shouldn’t determine my happiness, but I can’t stop comparing.
To add some context, I’ve also been struggling with anxiety for quite a while now. It became much worse after a major incident involving my ex. I reached a point where I was overwhelmed with anger and hurt, and instead of handling it privately, I made everything public online. Other people got involved, things escalated, and it became one of the biggest regrets of my life. Ever since then, I’ve been dealing with anxiety almost every day. I overthink everything, constantly worry about what people think of me, and it’s affected my confidence and how I interact with others.
I’ve already talked to my school’s counselor and I’ve tried asking for help. It helped to some extent, but honestly, it doesn’t feel like enough. I’m trying to help myself too by fixing my sleep schedule, helping out at my family’s business, learning about emotional regulation, and trying to stop doomscrolling, but I still feel like I’m barely getting by. Even when I’m doing something productive or fun, my mind somehow circles back to him.
I don’t want to keep venting to my friends because I feel like I’m becoming emotionally draining. I feel like all I ever talk about is my breakup, and I don’t want them to get tired of me.
The realization that hit me recently is that I don’t think I only miss him. I think I miss having someone make decisions for me. That sounds embarrassing to admit, but it’s true. He was always telling me what to do, and now that he’s gone, I feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore. I don’t trust my own decisions, and I overthink everything.
Has anyone else gone through this after a long-term or controlling relationship? How did you stop obsessing over them every single day? How did you rebuild your independence and learn to trust yourself again? Did anyone else experience anxiety becoming significantly worse after the relationship ended?
More than moving on from him, I want to find myself again because right now I honestly feel like I don’t know who that person is anymore. I don’t want to just survive every day. I want to enjoy life again.
Any advice or personal experiences would really mean a lot. Thank you.