u/TopHuckleberry-3570

it’s a lot of little shit to explain but i’m on meds constantly getting them changed cuz nothing works my depression is situational but im not getting out for 2 years minimum and i don’t wanna go back to school w bitches everywhere i feel like im stuck i have nothing else left to do but to end it and i feel like im overreacting for wanting to die over almost nothing it feels like. my only dilemma has been how and im scared of my family experiencing it iv attempted in the past and my mom didnt know till recently and idk i jst hate life and have for years

idk where else to put this if yall have better subs for me to post this lmk.

CONTEXT: Im in my late teens and my strict mom has parental controls on my iphone she has always been overly controlling and emotionally abusive.

I just found my old phone and i got an idea of having that as my secondary phone so i have some freedom. I’m just scared that my mom can find out thru maybe internet controls or something and i just wanna know how i could make this work without her finding out abt it i was thinking of using my hotspot from my current phone but idk if there are risks with that and i just really don’t know but if someone has ideas i would be very grateful.

rly looking for friends i can meet up w cuz im in a small school and its hard to find friends outside of that im young keep in mind and i will be very weary so please dont try trolling me im in roswell ga

I’m young and in highschool bur its a small school and really only have two good friends from there and otherwise i have basically no friends irl i live in georgia and i jst wanna find someone chill i can get to know in person and talk with and sneak out w lmao

I didn’t know what to put as my flair so sorry if it’s not the right context. (TW: SH and suicidal thoughts)

about 3 years ago i got in my first relationship (long distance) i was young and had never had anyone love me like that or me love someone like that. I got overly obsessed and genuinely was just going thru so much with me NEEDING them. the relationship lasted a year and towards the end he started pulling away and being quiet and i started to attention seek and text con trying to get tht love that once was there. I started self harming really badly with the thought that it was something I did that made him like that and continued to reach for more of him. It got to a point where i was extremely depressed and overwhelmed with the lonely feeling and anxiety and i sent a long message ending the relationship. he read it and left it for a few days then replied just saying sorry and there was a lot going on and i had to block him at that point knowing i’d let myself forgive him and go back to obsessing over him. it took me a full year to get over him i would think about him everyday and rethink what i did finally it went from everyday to about twice a week and that’s what im currently stuck at. My main issue and what im asking advice for is i have been dating someone for a few months(with occasional talking stages with people before him) i started to be almost numb with people i liked and i almost feel like i cant love anymore even when i want to iv said to my current bf that i love him but it has almost no feeling behind it when i truly want that feeling with him. i almost feel almost as tho i don’t have feelings anymore when it comes to relationships like this

i just want to know what to do (i haven’t been diagnosed with BPD but i line up with the textbook de and im really trying to understand myself and what i can possibly do)

I didn’t know what to put as my flair so sorry if it’s not the right context. (TW: SH and suicidal thoughts)

about 3 years ago i got in my first relationship (long distance) i was young and had never had anyone love me like that or me love someone like that. I got overly obsessed and genuinely was just going thru so much with me NEEDING them. the relationship lasted a year and towards the end he started pulling away and being quiet and i started to attention seek and text con trying to get tht love that once was there. I started self harming really badly with the thought that it was something I did that made him like that and continued to reach for more of him. It got to a point where i was extremely depressed and overwhelmed with the lonely feeling and anxiety and i sent a long message ending the relationship. he read it and left it for a few days then replied just saying sorry and there was a lot going on and i had to block him at that point knowing i’d let myself forgive him and go back to obsessing over him. it took me a full year to get over him i would think about him everyday and rethink what i did finally it went from everyday to about twice a week and that’s what im currently stuck at. My main issue and what im asking advice for is i have been dating someone for a few months(with occasional talking stages with people before him) i started to be almost numb with people i liked and i almost feel like i cant love anymore even when i want to iv said to my current bf that i love him but it has almost no feeling behind it when i truly want that feeling with him. i almost feel almost as tho i don’t have feelings anymore when it comes to relationships like this

i just want to know what to do (i haven’t been diagnosed with BPD but i line up with the textbook de and im really trying to understand myself and what i can possibly do)

maybe 1 or 2 bcks im broke