u/Top_Contribution4162

I (21F) have noticed that a lot of girls my age will talk/act in a certain way that doesn't come naturally to me at all. They will be very bubbly, will overcompliment everyone, and keep the conversation very light and superficial. They all talk like they work in customer service at the mall or something. I have worked in customer-facing roles too where I have to have small talk all day with people. It is EXHAUSTING. I try to avoid it with people I actually want to connect with because I feel like it comes across as kind of detached and even insincere at times.

All of these girls seem so afraid to say anything negative or slightly controversial at all and will judge you if you do. They will always say that everything is perfect, amazing, and that they love everyone they've ever met. I know they probably just want to seem as agreeable as possible, but it really seems excessive sometimes. Like they will say "I know this is probably super niche, but I think a guy doesn't like you back if he doesn't text first!" and things like "I love (person) so much, they're such a cutie!" etc. Even around men they will just be overcomplimenting the men for everything.

Every time I go out I get exhausted really fast and feel left out. I have more of a dry/sarcastic sense of humor so I don't normally talk like them. I have been told that I seem judgmental and that I seem like a bitch. Whenever I say anything I feel like it doesn't sit right with them. I also feel stressed because it's impossible to tell if they actually like me or are just keeping it shallow because they really don't want to connect with me at all.

Is this just me? I thought that maybe it was just a mismatch in personalities but is there some sort of unspoken rule to talk like that? None of my long term friends talk in this way. I get along really well with people I meet in my classes, research groups/jobs, academic clubs/events and people have told me I'm funny and nice in these settings. I feel relaxed and like I can be myself. I feel like I make friends really fast when I work with them or share the same academic or work setting, but I can't make friends fast at all when I'm just on a night out or whatever.

I try to not think about how dead my social life has been for the past 3 years of uni but honestly it really does keep me up at night sometimes.

I personally am doing a physics degree and it has been a nonstop grind. The only people I meet these days are through classes and professional settings like work and research. I get along with most people quite well, people have told me I’m funny and friendly but my social calendar is empty.

I have spent the past 3 summers away from home to do physics/engineering research, take 1-2 classes, and work a part-time job on the weekend. In the summer I literally leave my home at 8 AM and do not get back until like 8 PM. I work out at like 10-11 PM and study until 2 AM. I spend most of my time in an office, in the lab (underground usually), or at a pool. I have never even gone out to tan. I live alone.

I’ve become a workaholic, kind of paranoid about not earning enough money too. I always try to take on more shifts and more tasks and come into the office during holidays too since my only alternative is rotting at home and feeling sorry for myself. I hate being unproductive. I am kind of neurotic about maintaining a high GPA. I’ve done extracurriculars like volunteer work, case competitions and clubs but I’ve literally never had a girls’ night, been on a real date, or posted on social media before.

I have been really struggling to accept that I will probably graduate without having a social life too. I always shut my windows on Friday and Saturday nights so I don’t hear or see other people outside.

Currently doing a summer internship and it is taking up my entire life. I typically arrive at 9 AM but meetings can run until 8-9 PM and I get assigned so much work that i have to catch up on weekends too. I’m a physics undergrad (going into 4th year this fall) but my internship is in engineering. Project work involves a lot of coding, data analysis and ML. It is very rough because I have 6 hours of lecture every week too that i cannot attend and have to watch the recordings for at like 11 PM. I quit my weekend job because i couldn’t work 10 hours on top of this.

Hi everyone, I’m going into my 4th and final year of my undergrad and am planning to pivot out of physics. I am interested in quant/doing an MFE. I originally wanted to do a PhD in physics but now I don’t want to anymore. I am planning to drop the physics specialist track down to a physics major with a double minor in math and stats. However I could also graduate with a double major in physics and math with a stats minor if I take more math.

Which would be better for an MFE? If I don't do the math major I will be doing two full-year econ courses. Currently have a 3.7 GPA.

(At my uni, in order to graduate you need either a specialist, a double major, or a major + two minors)

I'm planning to drop the physics specialist (I'm going into 4th year) and am going to do either a math and physics double major + stats minor, or a physics major and math + stats minors. Which would be better for an MFE? If I don't do the math major I will be doing two full-year econ courses.

Hello, I'm interested in doing an MFE after my undergrad (Canada) and I was wondering whether I have a chance of getting in. I just finished third year, majoring in physics and double minoring in math and stats. In my first and second year of uni I got straight A's, but in third year I got mostly B's and a C. My overall GPA is a 3.70.

I took two intro econ courses and did well, and this year I participated in case competitions. I am planning to take intermediate level macro/micro next year and take fewer physics courses. I have research experience in condensed matter physics, atmospheric optics, and materials science. These projects were part of summer fellowships with competitive funding (e.g. NSERC). I am currently doing an internship that involves a lot of data analysis/ML with applications in medical physics.

Is there anything that I can do to increase my chances of getting into an MFE since I have more of a physics-heavy background? I was on the physics specialist track as I originally planned to do a PhD but now I am interested in going into finance.

Sometimes I wear a lot of makeup and put on a cute outfit and have my hair and nails done but still feel hideous and it ruins my day. I have already tried lash clusters, earrings, makeup, blonde highlights and they become less special after a while.

Depression has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. I’m 21 now. I am usually pretty good at hiding it but this year it’s starting to affect my performance and school and work and I’ve completely lost interest in everything I used to love. I never reply to messages anymore. I don’t like to eat anymore, I don’t want to sleep anymore because I don’t want to go to bed knowing that I wasted another day and that I’ll waste the next day too. I don’t like to go out and see other people my age with all their friends and other girls with their boyfriends because it just reminds me that I had to spend my whole life fixing myself and improving myself and while they never had to worry about that and were loved for who they were.

I still try to do my makeup and hair every day but it just feels like I’m trying to cover up how tired and unhealthy I look. I try to work out like I used to and then I wonder why I am trying so hard to take care of a body that nobody has ever loved. And people still compliment me on the way that I look and people still tell me that I’m smart and that I’m successful but nobody really likes who I am and I always feel like I’m looking out of a window but never part of the world I live in. I feel like the shell of the person I used to be, I never was doing that well to begin with but now my A’s have turned into C’s, I’m never really praised at work anymore, my skin doesn’t look that healthy anymore and I don’t look so toned.

I can’t even talk to anyone about this and I hate how much I’m struggling, I will never tell anyone because I don’t want to burden them. I am always doing so badly deep down and am always tired and I feel like people don’t like me but I don’t want to be like this. I want to be happy too and I want to just live my life but I can never get there. I have been seeing therapists for years now but it doesn’t really help because honestly everything has collapsed for me and I don’t know where to start.

Lately on LinkedIn I've been getting DM's from random men in my uni. Some will ask me out or will ask me where I live. Some will try to ask about my internship experience, and if I reply, they still start flirting or will just ghost me?? Here are some of the messages I have received in the past week:

Hey ___, I wanted to say as I saw ur connection request come in i took a look at ur research on your profile and it looks super interesting! Funnily enough I’ve been heavily considering pursuing research and some project work with materials development so ur experience seemingly w it caught my eye. Thanks

Hey ___, I know this is random, and I am sorry for asking if you’re already with someone, but you seem really cool! Although we haven't spoken before, I believe our interests might be similar. It would be great to talk further and grab coffee sometime to get to know each other better if you’d be interested!

I (21F) have been struggling with this for about 3 years now, I normally listen to music for hours and pace around my room a lot. A lot of my daydreams are about partying, dating, posting on social media. It’s becoming kind of compulsive and addicting. However I have a pretty isolating and unfulfilling life. What does it look like for you guys and what are some reasons that someone might have MD? Any long term solutions? I try to stay out of my house as much as possible but at the end of the day I just think I am not living life to the fullest, how do I fix this.

I'm 21F and been struggling with chronic depression from a young age. I have been in and out of therapy for 4 years, seeing a psychologist now but I have also been to a psychiatrist. In the past year or so my mental health has gotten quite bad. Whenever I have a long weekend or a break off work my sleep schedule ends up being something like 8 AM - 6 PM. I sometimes sleep through the days to avoid seeing people. I stay up the whole night maladaptive daydreaming or scrolling. I normally maladaptive daydream about partying and going out and dating, even posting on insta. However my real life is just a physics degree, 50 hour work weeks in the summer, a boring part time job and social isolation.

I spend way too much on takeout and eat a lot of junk food as well. I used to swim competitively and run track so it makes me feel terrible. I have a lot of trash in my home, my clothes are always on the floor and I find it super hard to do my laundry. Sometimes I can have up to 12 hours a day of screentime. I cry daily but only for a few minutes usually. I try to work out but have been going only once every two weeks on average. Also my bed is broken and I can't fix it and I have been sleeping on the floor for months.

I feel that I have been underperforming at work and this year my academics have been affected. However I try my best to stay busy and leave the house every day even just to get a coffee. Last year I was on antidepressants and trazodone but they made me feel worse so I stopped. I have never been in a relationship before and right now I can't because I am too depressed. Also sometimes I genuinely look gross at school and work because I feel too depressed to bother. However I do my lashes and makeup and hair every day even though my bathroom is a mess. I drink alone sometimes if I feel really overwhelmed and I usually drink a whole bottle of wine.

What are some daily habits that I can try to make myself feel a bit better and keep my place tidier?

21F and I have never had a bf because I get extreme anxiety and fear around dating. I have never had my first kiss, held hands romantically or hugged a guy and I have never really flirted either. Whenever I see a guy that I find attractive I get very stressed out and avoid eye contact. I sometimes go out with friends to clubs or bars and a lot of the time whenever I see a guy that I think is attractive I just try to avoid him.

I have been told that I am an attractive woman and men do hit on me around campus but every time I get really anxious and try to keep the conversation work-related and I get uncomfortable when a man compliments me or tries to flirt if I don’t know him that well. I am fine talking to everyone else but not men I find attractive. I am just very afraid of being used for my body and not being understood and I don’t trust most guys.

Lately I have been feeling very depressed and alone and my entire body hurts a lot because I just want a hug but I try my best to keep busy with work, gym and still go out with my friends. I sometimes get an ache in my chest and I cry almost every day but I don’t tell anyone this and it is sad but it is also incredibly frustrating and I don’t want people to think I’m desperate or have it affect anything else in my life. I always tell people I don’t want a boyfriend and I feel a lot of shame about this.

How to reduce the stress and the anxiety? I have been going to therapy for 4 years maybe seen about 5 different therapists but it is getting so bad to the point where I avoid going to places if I think there will be attractive guys.

Why have I never had a bf even though men hit on me and call me beautiful, smart and fit. Looking to get a bf before I turn 30. I am 21F. Guys have told me that I was "beautiful, smart and fit" and guy friends told me that any man would be lucky to date me.

I did not think I was that beautiful but men have called me a beautiful and cute wasian woman. Men hit on me all the time in the library and gym, since I do not go to bars or clubs I don't know if they would hit on me there. I am 5ft 7 and I am a physics major but also minoring in statistics and math at a top 20 school and have a 3.7 GPA, 4 research internships. I have worked as a lifeguard for 2 years. People have said I look like Gemma Chan but some people also don't think I look Asian at all. I work out 5 days a week I don't really lift but I do a lot of cardio I run a lot.

I do not post that much on my insta since i like to be a mysterious and nonchalant woman but I have over a thousand followers not following all back though. I get my nails and lashes done and I get a blonde balayage I am kind of a quiet woman and don't make eye contact with that many men never had my first kiss, never held hands with a man and don't really chat with that many men ngl.

Am I cooked if I want to to have my first bf before 30? Also why do they not want to date me.

I'm a third year physics undergrad who recently finished an 8-month long research course. Before joining the project I had done two paid summer fellowships in physics, worked part time as a lifeguard on the side and had a 3.9 GPA.

But third year really hit me like a truck. I took PDE's, E&M, complex variables and quantum mechanics all in one semester. My research couldn't get results for months. Despite this my supervisor assigned me to a new task right before finals, and said that if I worked on it, I could get my name on the paper. She didn't provide any resources to do the data analysis except a 3 hour long meeting recording (not a tutorial) on how to use new software.

Three days later she suddenly told me to return all my work and she said she removed me from the project and was no longer going to offer authorship. I emailed the UG research coordinator, dropped quantum mechanics and spoke to an academic advisor who told me to focus on my finals first and they'd resolve it later. I failed my first two exams but not the last one. Overall grades ended up being B-, C, and A.

In the second sem they gave me a new project with another postdoc in the group who told me she wouldn't supervise me because I already had lab experience. At this point I was already extremely burnt out, depressed, and struggling to eat and sleep. I dropped 3 classes and got Bs in the others. I wasn't doing well with the research so I again emailed dept, explained situation and extended the final thesis deadline. My final grade was a B but they said that a B was basically a fail and course average was A-. I asked for feedback and supervisor told me that I had only done well in the first 2-3 weeks.

Due to how badly this year went, I am now considering other career paths. Since I was so depressed I missed all the deadlines to apply for physics research in Feb. But thankfully I emailed an engineering prof, applied for a research award and got it. Now I am doing full-time research in the eng dept, it seems way better than phys dept. I added a statistics minor to my degree and will be taking another semester to graduate. I am applying to banks for a fall internship. Don't want to do physics PhD.

Would appreciate any advice anyone has.

Why have I (21F) never had a bf even though men hit on me and call me beautiful, smart and fit. Guys have told me that I was "beautiful, smart and fit" and guy friends told me that any man would be lucky to date me.

I did not think I was that beautiful but men have called me a beautiful and cute wasian woman. Men hit on me all the time in the library and gym, since I do not go to bars or clubs I don't know if they would hit on me there. I am 5ft 7 and I am a physics major but also minoring in statistics and math at a top 20 school and have a 3.7 GPA, 4 research internships. I have worked as a lifeguard for 2 years. People have said I look like Gemma Chan but some people also don't think I look Asian at all. I work out 5 days a week I don't really lift but I do a lot of cardio I run a lot.

I do not post that much on my insta since i like to be a mysterious and nonchalant woman but I have over a thousand followers not following all back though. I get my nails and lashes done and I get a blonde balayage I am kind of a quiet woman and don't make eye contact with that many men never had my first kiss, never held hands with a man and don't really chat with that many men ngl.

Am I cooked if I want to to have my first bf before 30? Also why do they not want to date me.

https://preview.redd.it/fhvuc81ts81h1.png?width=1012&format=png&auto=webp&s=491fc850c10f0267b95e1bad4329e2da30c55ddf

didnt have the best fall semester, im going into 4th year. dont have all my winter grades. am i cooked for grad school? Also i am planning to retake quantum mechanics so i can get a 100

Last July I booked an appointment with the health & wellness clinic at my uni but had to cancel it. I confirmed in person at the office that I wanted to cancel. However, for some reason the clinic put a financial hold on my transcript this May because of a "no show". This was 100% a mistake -- I emailed them twice and went in person today to ask about it, but they said it will take up to 20 days to review. I am now not allowed to access my official transcript unless I pay and my unofficial one says there's a hold. I am so confused because this appt was from MONTHS ago.

What do I do? I'm applying to internships this month and they don't need the official transcript. Will it look bad to have a financial hold on my account? I don't want to leave my applications too late. Super frustrating as this clinic has also cancelled multiple appts for me before without telling me, so it seems like there are some issues on their end with appt rescheduling.

I'm a third year physics major with research experience -- I occasionally get LinkedIn DMs from younger students/peers asking how I got involved. I usually reply to those. However sometimes I also get men sliding in pretending to be interested in my work and then when I answer about it, they try to ask for my insta or just ghost me when they realise I'm not flirting back. They even say things like "since I noticed you connected to me"... that doesn't mean anything dude. It's NOT a free pass for him to ask for my socials, I connect pretty broadly with people who are in the same program/research group as me. It is not personal interest if I send a connection request, it also doesn't mean I'm single and looking lol.

I genuinely feel so embarrassed sometimes because I do not know if a guy is hitting on me or actually interested in my work. I also sometimes feel hesitant to reach out to another guy whose background genuinely interests me if he may interpret it as me trying to slide in.